All Comments on 'Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite'

Amusing, but far from your best. I always get excited when I see your name of the 'new stories' list. This just isn't one your stories that I'll read over and over, like so many others.

Nigel Tufnel

short and very plausible scenario.

more readers would like it to be longer w/ a more dramatic revenge. i like the way the husband was portryed. confident and a positive thinker. after all, he is supposed to be a very successful person.

This work is far below this author's usual high standard.Inspite of this fact,it is far above the usual drivel that is usual in this category; hence, the high grade!This author has as much ability or more than the best of the rest.It is a shame that sufficient effort was not put into this story.Usually,Harddaysknight's characters are lifelike and interesting.You are able to have empathy for their situations.This is not the case here.Usually,this author has so many wonderful sub-plots that the story could have many off-shoots.His recent work JULIA is such an example.This work relies on far too much summary rather than careful development.Perhaps, Harddaysknight should consider returning to his series from the Beattles songbook?

The great authors such as Harddaysknight and Winterfrog are uniques.Winterfrog's vitality and strength of character are his alone; unmatched,supreme.The same is true of Harddaysknight.His many layered plots and sub-plots are very similar to the work's of James Clavelle and Mario Puzo.Yet they are ,altogether his!An apt analogy that would express my feelings for this would be as though the great artist Rembrandt started to work for Walt Disney.His work would be great but in the end it would still be a cartoon.

at first, it sounded sophisticated, with all kinds of err sub-plots, wit, cards up the sleeves, etc.

but ultimately the story makes no sense. (don't tell me it's only a story; i already know that. my job as a reader is to gauge the credibility of a story...)

a woman, who spend some twenty years being faithful, smart, dedicated, motherly, and a loving wife all, within a few days, a few weeks, or a few months --- during a time when the husband was being "investigated" because there's rumors that he's likely to be promoted to some heavy duty position within his company --- all of a sudden she fucking the INVESTIGATOR who "came across" her and who told her, eventually, he's invesgitating her husband of some 20 years and she said, "Wow, let's fuck and tell me what you've found on that bastard husband of mine"?

and they made a pack to deceive the husband, laughing how clever they were in sexual acts and in fooling him, both inside and outside of his own home?

but, get this!, in reality, HE had already got wind of such treachery and was just making sure they dug deeper holes for themselves? and, ta-da, dear wifey, you may think I was the biggest fool you've married to for over 20 years,,,, but I just found out YOU are really that fool?

i'm sorry to say, it's complete nonsense, dear good author...

now, if you had given me some 5 to 10 pages of meticulous characterization, plot trajectory and permutations, etc., so that I know the goodness and dark secrets of both husband and wife, as well as those of their friends and business assoicates and potential lovers,,, covering a substantial time period,,,, and I know each character was very capable of both deep love as well as ugly hatred and they're just waiting for the dark, dangerous winds which would propel them one direction or another,,,,, THEN it'd make sense...

but not this one page ta-da magic trick, with the end result with the wife sobbing unconsolingly in the arms of her parents, while the husband, kids, and the paternal grandparents looking sad and mystified as to why this seemingly very honourable mother, wife, and daughter in law of theirs has been FUCKING like a dog here in this very floor they are now standing in, just days ago, mocking the very husband with whom she had raised some good kids

total nonsense, really

HDK works hard to come up with different twists to the cheating wife genre. He almost always succeeds. It amazes me to read these negative comments about a well-written, amusing, and original story. Almost no cheating wife stories from other authors meet all three of those criteria, and many don't meet any of them.

Mostly, HDK strives for originality. Some people are expecting Peyton Place or the like when HDK is just playin' with words. And playin' well.

Great, as usual.

I had to laugh while reading this. Knowing HDK through his many stories, I had to suspect the V.P. Even so, it was a good read - I only wish that it was longer, more detailed. There's a lot of material here for a more intricate tale. My thanks to the author.

and by the way, the anon guy who suggested that HDK return to the Beatles songbook:

Where do you think he got "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite?"

Has anyone here heard of Sgt. Pepper?

Anon: your literary opinions are about as impressive as your knowledge of Beatles music.

This story is great and it's in the tradition of the author. However, hardaysknight could have provided more detail to make it even more interesting. With his sense of humor that really would have be an extra. I guess that it isn't too late though, and I figure that a writer like HDK can develop a longer story from this short tale.

RAG

I really enjoyed reading this. As I was going

through the story I had the idea that it would

great to have the lover be the investigator.

Then you tricked me and did what I was thinking

about. I figured he had set up his own

surveillance.

What you did was better though - and the

retirement funds was a great add-on.

Way to go!

Regards, DJ

As always, the author's writing is excellent, but to me the twist in the plot was pretty evident.

Too much time and effort was used to put the security guy into the case and to explain why he was taking such a personal interest that you almost have to suspect that he is involved with the wife. It's like the person who injects themselves so forcefully into a crime investigation that you have to take a hard look as to why he/she is so interested in the case.

The suprise in this story to me would have been if the security guy wasn't involved with the wife.

Enjoyed the story but not the author's best effort. As always, I look forward to future stories from the author.

I'd been missing HDK's stories...but this story left me hungry for more. I missed the emotional content. Great to have you back, HDK, now start writing!

A cheating slut getting it as well as the slob she's fucking at the same time..Well done

It was way to short... and the REALLY hurt it.

sort of like this post.

How did the wife transform herself? why? what was going thru her hed? even if you wanted to tell this just from the husbands POV you could of gone more into when the changes started...

when his wife tore him a new asshole when he pointed out that he did NOT work weekends and holidays... instead of getting a beer and plopping down to watch TV he should of spit in her face and walked out for the rest of the evening

it not ok to fuck another man wife.and if you do there is punishment.i think the writers in this site think it ok to fuck another man wife,but where i come from homey don't play that shit.they were lucky they got off lite.

Your story has been reviewed. You can see the review on the New story reviews thread on the Authors' Hangout here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901&page=11&pp=25

Any comments or questions pertaining to that review can be directed to that thread: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?p=18265130#post18265130

HDK,

Good to see you back. My only complaint is that this story is too short. Heck, most of yours are for my money, but that is because I truly enjoy your sense of humor, and the plot quirks. Another interesting story.

Good entertainment

Thank you

PT

Thanks again...

like the beatles do you. me too keep it coming thanks

Excellent story short sweet and to the point along with serious drama. Well WELL done.

HDK:

I always enjoy your work and this is no exception. Thank You. Ronnie W.

but is the next best thing. Didn't have to regret tearing down the woodshed. A damn good read, congrats. A fan always.

but didn't Foster know that he was being recorded or did Kite set up a parallel feed to make his own video?

I found the story very original and a fun read. Monica deserved everything she had coming to her. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

I thought it was pretty ingenious.

This was a new twist on a cheating fantasy. I thought I knew where it was going, but you turned it around on me. =)

But I did figure it out by the time I got to the party though, but to be honest that was kinda late in the game by then.

Good story, kinda short, but good never the less.

-Risq

Great story HDK.

Great story HDK.

Obviously he wasn't as dumb as the two adulterers thought he was. Oh, yes, indeedy, he should be able to retire in royal style.

Boy, the slut threw away 25 years! Wonder how long she was building to that point of adultery or had there been others; maybe less demanding of her time?

It was a great turn of events..

Too bad it evolved too fast to my taste..

Keep it up!

~

do not a complete story make. I’m with “Harry” and “story makes no sense” on this one.

Why was wifey seduceable? Was she always so bitchy and if not, why now? These questions, if answered in a couple of vignettes of their own, would complete the story. What’s so hard about that? I spent nearly the whole story reading a few sentences and then asking myself, “why?” Why isn’t everyone hammering HDK for not answering these absolutely obvious questions with absolutely required answers?

Otherwise, well written and cleverly plotted as usual.

Phil

This belongs in the "non-erotic" section.

There is nothing "loving" about a revenge story.

You're the KING!! It could have been longer, but I still love it!!

HDK:

I have to give you top marks simply for ingenuity. But I, as do a few others, have questions which go unanswered.

I can't imagine why the husband would have stayed married so long to such an hateful spouse, but, obviously, if he hadn't, there would have been no story.

Excellent resolution to his predicament!! As others have stated, your stories are too short and, for me, too far and few between. I anxiously fook forward to your next submission.

Philip

I have always liked your stories and this one did not disappoint.

I eagerly await your next!! Don't make us wait too long.

Charleybear

I have to Give you High Marks for that sneaky move your a genius to think of that and catch two sharks with one piece of bait Please write more write the wifes story and get her side of what happened.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga.

Upon reflection though, I could not be convinced with top agency manager risking his career with a client's wife AND wife being ready just in time (and why?) for this to happen. Thanks for enjoyable read!

Write more like this. Just add a some sex.

Another good take with this cheating twist!

The bitch got what she deserved!

He'll have a great retirement WITHOUT his miserable wife!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

but yours are clever and have those quirky twists on them that i have to give you 100.

Most cheaters are actually very stupid and think they are to smart to be caught.

but they like to read how one person fucks over another without any punishment.what that say about that person.

I liked it an your style of writing. Always entertaining thank you.

Mike from Texas

foster and monica were silly enough to believe that others were not as smart as them. her insistance on playing the disk was a nice touch.

the set up was complete when she insisted on the playing of the dvd ! she gets what she deserves and the [former] pi and his employer get theirs. very well done all around.

A bit of humor for security or clearance check.

the way it was done, the way she acted, believing one outcome, and getting the unexpected outcome. awesome!

the revenge was complete, and even got him too !

I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for what you do.

Why I keep coming back to HDK's stories... They are the best!

you have have again produced another fine story.

would have liked more details on taking down the two slim balls...

really liked it

Wow! Another fun story. I am reading all of your stories (in alphabetical order). I am not getting much work done.

I did not expect quite the finish you wrote this time this poor loser becomes a big winner - beyond creative - very nice.

if i was in the kids place as another post said. id prolly feel just as cheated on as dad. then would have taken my revenge on her. she likes sex right ... lol. time to pull out the blindfold, rope and have a little fun. lol

way to go, hooked, battered and fried.

Nothing sexy about a middle 40s dried up old hide so gave the story a low rating.

Everything is sexy about a middle 40s year old so gave the story a high rating.

Finish it!

i forgot how good this one was till i found a link to it again.....gawd i love yer stories man....on my bad days i think u go to easy on the women....on my good days im a lil more forgiving! LOL

I like the way you reveal the truth of the story ever so slowly, and just on time for the audience to be surprised. You eschew all foreshadowing, and so it is treated with the deftness that such a surprise story requires.

Where I have my issue is the unrealistically clinical way in which all the characters acted once the cat was out of the bag. Work on that, stretch it out, giving the supporting characters more three dimensionality, and you'll have a stronger submission.

It could have been a great great read with a few more paragraphs. Thanks for sharing.

.. what a great reveal. Please keep writing.

BRILLIANT!

My second read was better than the first one -

She shot herself in the head then slipped in the dog shit - woot!!

I do kinda resent the misdirection (or am amazed by the organizational structure) in being surprised by the immediate referral and attention to the area manager for the company! If this was a cold contact, how does a drop-in come to the attention of the biggest executive in a four-story office. Surely Boss has NOT told all his minions that he is boffing Sweetie AND to watch for anybody with that same last name? If Hubby called earlier for a tentative time to talk to someone (the only option which explains enough) then he should have expected to go straight to the Bull! Yes, as soon as he stated why he was there, the 'fox in the henhouse' became obvious. Of course, HDK writing this in LW of LIT helped a lot, too!

Loved it. Especially Sweetie tossing the DVD grenade was an unexpected delight! (Since it landed in her foxhole - pun intended!) Great read!

5*

I have noticed that in this one as well as several of your stories (except the ones you bring black into the equation, I don't read them) you chop them off short without listing any more of the revenge taken except a very brief mention and sometimes not even that. I wish you would spell it out, a short additional chapter would be appreciated. Thank you for writing.

Can't I be that smart ? ? ? ?

bill

from the keyboard of HDK.

Another sad tale of a stupid woman.

Maybe you should get a good dictionary. A clairvoyant claims to see the future/ tell your fortune.

Perhaps you meant Clandestine - secretive, undercover??

needs a sequel.

not finished, finish your fucking stories!

I thought he was toast. But he was "Smarter than the average Bear" and now will reap the rewards from both companies. Well planned.

HDK, I just loved the clever twists and turns you put into this story. And I am of the opinion, it was exactly as long as it needed to be. I must be very gullible, cause I never foresaw the wife driving herself off-the-cliff ending!

It was was Foster in the library with a camera, not Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with a mallet. 5.

Clever story on how the seemingly clueless husband turns the tables on his wife and lover and comes out smelling like a rose! Very funny.

It really needs better character fleshing out and a second chapter wouldn't hurt. Like her side or the families POV.

Nice!!!! 5 stars all the way. I would like to read more of this story. I would like to find out what happened to the wife and the lover.

She deserves a painful divorce that would leave her chopped up in small parts Dexter style. Glad he came out on top. But honestly I would have divorced her before hiring a PI. She was a Cunt anyway so who needs that!

The word you're looking for might be "Clandestine" rather than "clairvoyant". Do you even have a dictionary, or if you do, how thick is the dust on it?!

Bad grammar makes a good story, a ridiculous one.

clairvoyant check? Huh?

a bit confusing towards the end, but it worked. a fake or cursory check.

Love to see cheaters have their plans come back and bite them on the ass. She got bit big time. I really enjoyed this little story. I started feeling bad for the guy when I thought she was going to win BUT what an ending-Great. Thank You for a fun story.

Cheaters are stupid, becuse: 1st - they think they never will be caught; 2nd - They think they are smarter than others; 3rd - They think they will never be punished...

I think you mean clandestine! If you had a proof reader/editor then give them the sack; if not, then get one, because it's apparent that you need one!

The clairvoyant check is funny - HDK may have done that just to give the nattering nabobs of negativism something to find. Kind of like one of the old W. slip ups. Thank you for your story HDK!

one of the best flashes I've read.

But the one's that say the most, usually say it in the fewest possible words. Everything else is just pointless filler.

Rereading this one yet again. Still a great story. You just can't find a better gotcha story.

Congrats. Clever story with a good twist, but a bit short. (Four out of five.) I know it is supposed to be a short story and not a novella. But by keeping it this short there is just no room for emotion for any of the characters. The husband ought to be feeling bad even while outsmarting the wife. The wife should feel regret and embarrassment for her affair and being caught. Even the adult offspring seeing his mother fucking another man seemed a bit nonchalant. It was almost more like a detailed plot outline. I know this is not a new story story but I would love to see a follow up chapter.

One plot point was if the wife had checked the DVD when it arrived in the mail she would have realized what was going on and the great ending would have been avoided. He could have added bit a little bit of the fake report at the beginning of the DVD and then let the wife "find" it and then try to humiliate him. Then he just fast-forwards through the first three minutes and tah-dah. Cheers Steve

I think the word you're looking for is clandestine...

clairvoyant?

Not the only error, the whole last paragraph was written sloppily enough that it's obvious the author was in a hurry to finish things

You have the makings of a good story. Unfortunately lacking in pertinent details. Needed to be fleshed out. Ending was hurried and choppy. As usual, your writing skills were on display for about 80% of the story. That's why I award 4 stars.

I hate cheating skank wives. I love when they are caught. That about sums it up.

Five Stars

Well worked story. Clever.

It was clear by the time the story reached his discussion with Foster where it was going. Only the detail about how she met Foster wa missing. You're a good writer but this one was "mailed in".

Certainly not the best. Just very flat.

Not very good, even boarders on baaaddd!

A great and funny story. Good going and skip the glib.

5-stars plus!

Some aftermath would have been nice.