All Comments on 'Beneath the Ice Ch. 01'

Superbly rendered characters. I look forward to more. Thanks

Great start to another great 'ice' story, I'm sure. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Your hockey stories are amazing. This appears to be right up there with your best ones. So very glad to see more stories from you. Thank you.

YES!!!

Another Hockey story

Thank You

Great opening chapter. I am so glad you are posting a new story. Thanks

Yes! What the others said! Thank you for posting again.

Really good start... thanks

Ah yes, the good old hockey and romance cake-mix we all love and need! Damn I missed your stories and can't wait to see where and how this one goes. Hope for some cameos here and there as well. A clear 5* with lots of potential.

So glad to have another hockey story from you.

Great beginning!

5

Oh thank God!!! You’re still writing, needed a new story from you for a while now. Thank you for making my day better!

Sawyer Bennett could not write an Arizona Vengeance story better! Looking for to the rest of this tale and your other hockey romances.

Welcome back!! I have missed your hockey player hunks 😀

I’m enjoying the way you’re developing these characters. You write well, and it’s fun to read.

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

Mugsy you’re awesome. How quickly you draw the reader into your characters. Love everything I’ve read of yours which is about everything you’ve posted here. I’m definitely a fan. Thank you for sharing your work. Definitely looking forward to the next installment!

JJ1

Very glad to have Mugsy back! Will be interested to learn why a pro player making probably at least 2.7 million a year resides in this particular apt complex.

Good to see you back. Can't wait to see where you lead us on this one.

Great start, fascinating characters, good set up and an adorable little girl. Can’t wait to read on.

MugsyB you have written another great hockey story.

I’ve been waiting for you to write again. Love your stories

Alexei is correct: Raisins are evil. Raisin oatmeal cookies are indeed an abomination unto cookie kind. Actually, my mom's Irish soda bread recipe incorporates raisins, and I can't wait to slather a slice with butter and inhale it. But raisins in cookies? Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Oh, and yes, another great story from the illustrious MugsyB.

Really, really slow. I think you needed to throw in a bone earlier to hood the readers and establish a better pace.

Welcome back! It's been forever! Great start. Zoe leans towards brat and Charlotte to oversensitive pushover, but it's early days and plenty of time to fix that.

How have I never read this story before? I've seriously been missing out!

Well open mouth, insert foot. I really like this so far! I can’t wait to read the rest of it!

It seems to be a well written story so far.

A couple of points.

Why was Zoe doing her gymnastics in their apartment? Sure it was raining and they couldn't go outside, but there was a gym in the complex that Alex used.

Why was a top professional hockey player living in such a dump?

Got to agree with the last comment.

No superstar hockry player is going to live in economy housing where you can hear the upstairs neighbours kids playing.

Let alone walking to their bathroom and running water.

It's a bit of a large plot hole.

Other than that the writing was good.

An NHL star is earning at least 10 million a year. Hell, a scrub gets 3 million. Why is he living in the same apartment complex as Charlotte? I was expecting some explanation, however implausible : this was his apartment as a minor leaguer and he's been too focused on his career to get around to moving, or whatever. Just give us something on which to exercise our suspension of disbelief.

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That said, this story is enjoyable enough in a Lifetime movie-of-the-week way. Zoe is convincing acting as a child of her own age, not an easy characterization to pull off, so full marks there,

With regards to comments questioning the hockey players choice of living quarters. It tends to be Americans who feel a need to peacock their wealth. People who grow up in less than ideal settings are more likely to live modestly. I think might be doubly so if they are on the road regularly.

So, yes, the premise is certainly valid.

Just stumbled on this...like the characters/plot so far, I'm hooked.

Curious about all the chatter about where he lives, think rb has a point

Very sweet. And a pro hockey player and a low income single mom living in the same apartment building isn't even in the top half of the most unbelievable things in Literotica stories.

Looking forward to reading more.

The story moves at a glaciers pace (keeping the ice theme FTW). Which chapter does it get a bit more interesting? The writing is good but I don't find awkward interactions and a 3 year old entertaining....

Been there done that.

It's not implausible for a pro athlete to live in an inexpensive place. There's stories every year (granted it's usually NFL players), of pro athletes that live moderately humble lives, and of ten year old Toyotas being parked next to BMWs.😁