by beast5
gyrl is stunned how this story made her so hot, so juiced. what a creative and imaginative idea. this is going to be one of the hottest stories of the year!
The story was excellent until Luke arrived and the story just ended. Really? A young woman perfectly trained to enjoy being a sex slave, and nobody could see the possibilities in that? Wow.
This story is incredible! There are only two things I felt it could have done with - a few more descriptions on the clothes and her adventures out of the house.
So disappointed to see it end, but maybe there's room for a sequel in the 5 years?!
Loved it :)
... until the snap ending. Would have been better if there had been some hint of it, some scenes from the games company interspersed with Erin's story and maybe another scene or two with other beta-testers.
Looking forward to your next story though!
but an abrupt end. The end was appropriate and, while I din't like it, worked well. Good imagination; thanks.
Ah, new meaning to the term 'black box'. Well done. The secret life, desires and gifting from the slave to training and wonderful subspace!! The 'abrupt' end was rather fitting for anything other would have demanded further interaction. Possibly the discovery of a existing backup file could lead to the sequel! (Giggling)
Wow, the ending was... twisted. Really, can't think of a better fitting word. Excellent, unusual, and certainly disturbing story.
This is one of the best stories I've ever read here. I'd love to know where the other boxes ended up, and whether the other possible scenarios in the game led to similar predicaments. Please write more!
Truly enjoyed your fantasy!
Isn't it amazing what can be achieved with modern technology!
I was with you til the end. The story was intriguing and well-written, and the sex reasonably hot. (People being physically abused isn't really my thing.) But the ending ruined it all for me. The idea that someone could doom this poor woman to a whole life controlled by this game is sick, and NOT in a good way. At the very least, you should have listed this as a BDSM story, so that unsuspecting readers like me wouldn't be sucked in.
I actually quite liked the ending, it was a nice epilogue. Not sure why the others didn't.
I am simply, NO just NO, just FUCK GOD FUCK. If i could scream this loud enough for you to here I would. If i was a little bit more screwy in the head I'd probably maim my self, and, I KNOW, I wont be getting any restful sleep for at least a couple nights. That fact alone shows that this is well written, and i commend the author.
BUT.... JUST.... FUUUUUUUU CK!
AUGH
SHIT.
I will be having nightmares.
That was an AMAZING story, and I didn't mind the ending at all (I could see it coming). I am SO not sleeping tonight, since you have thoroughly terrified me.
But all the best stories get into your head and stay there.
Do you realize how much money could be made off a battery that could keep that collar powered, deliver strong enough electric shocks to potentially kill her, power a transceiver only she can hear, operate an extremely high tech camera, with rapid aperture adjustment and a wide enough angle to see everything it can see, far away or close up without distortion of the image AND last for longer than five years, yet be enclosed in a collar so discreet it never catches the attention of her co-workers? Holy crap! Not only is the camera and transceiver tech pretty cutting edge, but the battery is beyond incredible. Heh.
Or the whole premise might call for a level of suspension of disbelief that staggers the mind. Pretty funny story, but it should have been in erotic horror or sci-fi/fantasy because of all the comic book engineering elements.
Just an incredible story I really wish you will write about that 5 year gap or after the story about Luke I just absolutely loved the story and the idea behind it and the ending just made the whole story ten times better
While this type of story isnt really my thing its oddly charming and also horrifying? Its my worst nightmare and yet everything i enjoy in one go? I don't really know what to say about this story but i will say that its really good.
Probably one of the hottest story I've ever read, perhaps THE one!
I know it's been 6 years already, but please, please continue this, either a simple sequel or the plight of another woman (she might have selected a different setting for the game, futuristic/past...)
One of the best ideas and a very good development:
5 stars from me, even if the ending wasn't like I was expecting.
... I'd like someone behind the game or something like that ... or, at least, Luke could help himself after discovering ...
Even if the plot is already known, what about another story about another female tester ...
Thank you for writing the story. It kept me hot and bothered until page 6. Would have been interesting to see Luke claim her as his retirement present.
I don’t usually read the really long stories, I can count them on one hand in the years I’ve come to this site. But this one had me hooked to the very end, what a twist to have them simply forget about her, left to her fate for the rest of her life. Well done!!
I feel that the ending was rushed but damn it was good and kept me really engaged.
i just wish there had been more details in the various fucking..
I loved it till the end, considering they had to check to make sure all the units were recovered she should have been discovered to be quite honest, maybe a month or two extra? But years? No, that kind of tech is expensive as fuck! If I was the company I would have given her a complete model, safeword/finger movements/blinking/tapping or some kind of way to end the programs and a shit ton of money in damages and make sure it would never happen again, also, Luke would have been fired, besides, the gps stuff is usually monitored, aswell as shopping habits online, atleast google might have had some kind of concern.
I was with the story til the rushed end. She is well-written and intriguing and I'm not fan of stories with persons being physically abused. That's why the ending was the no-go for continuing excitement for me. The thought of this poor woman being trapped and controlled by this game all their life feels wrong and makes me sick....disturbing thoughts.
I have often read stories like this that did not have the guts to leave me, uh, I mean the heroine, in her desperate straights. In short, to allow her to lose. An finally someone did. Yes it's fiction, yes it stretches credulity, but we do that everytime we watch a movie. Thanks for this story, and letting my, uh again, Erin's fantasy, to play out :-)
Jesus. I am also going to have nightmares of this woman being trapped for life.
Great story. Developing submission and resulting Stockholm syndrome very interesting in this current age of ever-growing AI. Quite scary thinking about endless torment at the synthetic hands of a cold and conscienceless "Master". What does our future hold indeed?
Would've preferred that there was some intent behind the whole thing, rather than just an inefficient corporate bureaucracy, leaving her trapped in the "game" forever. Still, very well written. 5*