All Comments on 'Betrayed'

I like this story a bit different from your others but I still loved it I wish you uploaded more often but I understand you have other priorities... But you are probably my favorite author.

It’s amazing that Trisha cheated with Brad only to find out that he was a habitual cheater knocking up sex other women. Kate came out with the prince of the story by latching onto Rob just a year after having found the cheating pair playing hide the sausage in his bed, in his house. Way to go Soul71*****

it was just starting to get good and gain speed. i do hope you add a bit to this

I am sure I have read this or its clone on here a couple of years ago.

Gotta love a happy ending. Thanks for posting.

So he comes home and catches his wife fucking his brother. Why? He spends a year, an entire year, 9 months longer than he was married to Trish, in a drunken stupor feeling sorry for himself and you want us to believe his work performance didn’t suffer? Have you ever spent a year drunk every day and still functioned perfectly fine?

He was only married to her for 3 months. But apparently he was so weak, he spent a year drunk? And then magically hooks up with a younger, hotter woman while his ex wife married his brother who ruined her life?

And why would Trish and his brother want him at their wedding or expect him to be their kids god father? What possible reason could they have for that? His behaviour was deplorable but to expect him to swallow his pride and be grateful to be a godparent....well that’s just stupid. Why would anyone reasonably ask that?

All in all, the author went out of his way to paint the protagonist as a sympathetic character and the ex as a stupid bitch. I HATE that.

I don’t feel sorry for drunks. Because if all it took was one incident, then the reality is he was always a drunk.

And he always will be.

Not sure I would have dated the sister. At some point to run into family that didn't side with you.

And really? An entire family welcomes the cheating. I mean brother steals brothers wife and they are all fine with that? Tricia would never be welcome at my home.

soul71

I must say that I enjoyed your tale greatly. While it used a familiar brother steals wife plot, your treatment of characters was unique. I hope you will contribute more submissions. Thankyou!

And jesus,.you know how to write a sex scene. My god.

I liked the story, it was straightforward and simple, if a little too simplistic occasionally, but my God, you just love your info-dumps; smaller, less dense paragraphs would work better than great big unending torrents of information

What a great story! It's tragic that a sociopath like his brother passed his screwed-up genes to seven kids, but at least Rob and Kate got a happy ending.

On a technical note, some of your paragraphs were long enough to become walls of text, particularly the sex scenes. I'd strip out all dialogue from paragraphs to keep it separated and easier to read.

Trisha got exactly what she deserved...

It's always good to see the good guy come out on top...

Great Story

5*s

Honestly this is the first one of your stories that I have read. I will say this you have me intrigued. If the rest of your stories run similar to this you have a new fan. Thank you

Story line is ok but grammatically it’s a mess, which detracts greatly from momentum and character development. Work on sentence construction to improve your scores.

And good flow for the story... till the end.

The epilogue could have been a bit more involved. As it stands, it felt very rushed and almost thrown together.

I gave it 4 stars though...

they aren't worth the effort and deserve everything that happened to them

All's well that ends well. However, you could see the ending so early in the story that it made finishing it feel like the reader was just killing time. So I began to note details. Lack of proper sentence structure and improper word usage was distracting,

And, both Kate and Robbie need to look at their selling skills if the company is going to progress beyond being a "cheap" vendor. I have sold multi-million deals in consumer products, automation equipment, and IT projects. Their presentation had some elements of consultative selling, but a successful salesperson or company never calls their product "cheap". At worst it is a "less expensive" alternative, and the road to real success shows the buyer how the product solves a problem for the buyer. Their presentation did tell the buyer the advantage of having a full range of quality products which is a good start, but they failed help the buyers come to that conclusion themselves -- by asking directed questions during a sales consultation.

Loving wives fans are freaks who get off on being treated like shit vicariously thru cuck stories or people looking to see cheaters get burned

Your story is good, but it focused on how he moved on and barely glances over 30 seconds worth of a hint of trouble for the ex whore is brother and their traitorous families

Would have been better for him to tell his dad he had made his decision in choosing Brad over him and he wasnt going to lift a finger to help save their family business

No wonder she cheated on him.

Very enjoyable read. It would’ve been nice to have Brad’s character fleshed out more, especially the dynamic with his family and how things came apart for him at the end. It would have made his eventual fall much more satisfying, and also provide a bit more background as to why the family covered for him to the extent they did. That said, it was very entertaining overall and I’m looking forward to your next story.

This is a perfect end to this story.

And if this author added another chapter, one of our loving couple would end up fucking a parent or sibling. No thanks.

Family is always best loved from a distance!!! His brother was a true wanker. His family not only took his brothers side, but was intent on rubbing his nose in it and trying to force him to accept it. Then when his brother's chickens come home to roost, they are on the phone for him to come and help. Kate's mom calling about what was happening and about Trisha's misfortune was a, good she got what she asked for moment for me. Kate's mom and dad treated Rob like the bad guy as did his mom and dad. To both sets of parents, I would have to say "good luck with that. Let me know how it turns out." Hope you add to this story. I really liked it, but need closure. I want to see what happens to his brother and his ex.

Could wish for a little more, but that''s me. It's fine just as it is. A complete story.

Really enjoyed it Soul.

Now hiw family is just another business to them and treated as such.

Karma.

Good tale.

A lot of Potential in the plot. BUT! Way to much gratuitous sex. When it becomes a “suck fuck festival” it takes away fro. The story.

I felt short changed, I liked that at the tender age of 22 Kate knew where she wanted to go and be.

where I felt short changed is , 'Brad couldn't take his eyes off of Kate. He had thought he had beaten his brother. Had thought he had gotten the more beautiful sister. He had thought he had gotten the better of his brother, yet it appeared that he was wrong. "Right," Brad muttered. Moving into his childhood home, knowing he would have to break his brother once again. He was just going to have to figure out how to approach Kate. He so did enjoy breaking up relationships. When he had done so to his brother, it was the greatest triumph he ever had. Plus the yearlong blackballing of his brother was an excellent bonus.'

You played Brad out to be the shit he was but then you dropped it.

To placate this you followed up with, 'She couldn't keep her wicked smile from showing as her mother told her how Trisha had come running home with her son. Crying about how six different women had filed child support claims against him, and that upon learning this his father and mother dug into his sales records seeing how they had been light for the past few months. They were pressing charges against him for laundering money from the corporate accounts.'

So mom and dad finally get to see what a shit he was the only thing Rob got to do was smack him with a vase and a one shot punch to a glass jaw. He should have been able to at least kick him in the nuts so he wouldn't have spawned the other six poor children.

WTF? They expect him to go to the wedding of his ex-wife to the brother she cheated on him with?

"Don't you dare take that tone with me Robert!" - They're siding with his brother who stole his wife, and complaining about HIS tone?

I can't believe that his sister, after her own marital struggles could be so no -supportive of him during his.

"She just wanted to make sure he knew they were there for him." - Except that they're not. By implicitly, if not explicitly, accepting Brad's cuckolding of him, they were saying that he wasn't important to them.

It's his first date with Kate, sheesh, give them a little space!

I can understand standing up for your daughter, but to not at least recognize that Rob wasn't the guilty party is unreasonable.

Just at the top of page 3, we're told her bra size for the second time!

I think they're both over-dressed for an outdoor concert with lawn seating.

Kind of cool, they saw no problem with him having to see his ex-wife with her brother, wonder how they'll take HER ex with her sister!

Rob wasn't blackballed, he just refused to come while Brad was there.

"I know I've hurt you, but did you have to go after..." - Even if it were true, so it's okay to go after (or with) HIS brother, but HER sister is off limits?

"Janet looked to her husband wondering why he never talked to her like that."- Um, since it's Kate doing the talking, she maybe should ask why SHE never talked to her husband like that.

Is Brad a complete moron? He's already go a split lip from Kate from messing with her, now he gets wise with Rob?

Another advantage of working for Kate is it would get him away from the family business.

They have no audits, they only found out he was skimming after the paternity suits were filed?

but sorta bogged down in the sex parts. I mean they were hot, but a little too much on that, my interest is in the relationships and why people do what they do. We never did find out why Trisha gave in to his brother, not definitively. we did hear why Brad targeted Trisha, which was nice.

I had my doubts about a writer, who writes all incest stories, writing a Loving Wives story. lol nice job 5*s

you have done another great story

Enjoyable read ending could of been longer, with him going back and what happens to his brother could of been fleshed out better instead of leaving it open. Still a fun read. Great work.

Such an enjoyable read, a nice diversion from your usual subject(still my favorite). I really enjoyed the slow build up to them cementing their love for one another and it's always nice when the cheaters get what's coming to them.

To the anonymous that complained about my paragraphs. Deal with it. Not changing how I write to appease you.

That's what the fuck Trisha get. I loved this story

Enjoyed it. Thanks

The behavior of the two families sadly is like a lot of them, they are more concerned about image or about 'blood being thicker than water' and often expect family members to eat shit from others in the name of 'family unity'. Trish's parents apparently think that Trisha screwing Brad was okay and that Rob neededti man up, talk about no wonder Trisha was a bitch. And both of them are basically 'i love you as long as you do what I want,and if we are okay with your brother banging your wife,deal with it'. Add to it some jerk off clergy telling him his duty is to the family and to turn the other cheek and forgiveness towards those who have sinned while nod nod wink wink at the dickheads,and the story would be complete. When his family called with the news about Brad, he should have told them he wouldn't take sides,that the mess with Brad was 'family' and they should just suck it up,refuse to charge Brad , take him back, that that is basically what they told him when it came to Brad and Trisha,that their pain and loss meant nothing compared to 'family',laughed and hung up the phone. Where where they when Rob was falling apart? When the guy was a mess? Rewarding Brad for hurting his brother like that,the little scamp. Doing what he did rewarded his families stupidity, they never apologized or repented for their treatment of him,and they want help?

Damn good story wish you would have went a lil deeper with him and his sister but that's my only complaint

But I'll never understand how a man that's been in the bottle for that long, comes out of it for the sister of the woman that wronged him? Wouldn't Kate and her family be the last thing he'd touch with a ten foot pole? I guess that's why it's called "fiction". Thanks for the effort.

3 stars

More often than not, we need someone to pull us out of the darkness and into the light. That was a lovely tale about rebirth and I enjoyed it greatly. You did write that brother to be one amazing A-hole!

Gave a 4. Maybe im fatigues but did u leave out a punch when he caught wifey with his brother? Personally though I’d have never gone back to that family at least not nearly as soon. A new girl in his life doesn’t change the zero support they gave him.

Do a sequel or don't leave it as is.

I could take it either way.

Cliches laden upon more cliches. Sometimes (often) enough isenough, and too much iscloying! A fair amount of inattention to details. Sis looked at inappropriate texts to her hubby’s female prospects as HE was doing the texting ... she looked on the phone he forgot at home that day! How many people carry a spare cell phone in case he or she forgets a cell phone?

Seriously, I found myself scanning over paragraphs where every square inch of Sweetie’s skin was being extolled.

3*

But a little too short in the epilogue.

This was a fantastic tale. I thoroughly enjoyed the budding romance between Rob and Kate, it was adorable to read it's progression.

Loved your story, So glad it wasn't wham, bam thank you mam from the start. And the epilogue was a great ending. WHAT GOES AROUND WILL COME AROUND

Trisha was a cheater who betrayed her husband to his no good brother. The way you set this up we all knew Kate was after him.but I don’t see a successful women CEO owner in New York staying a virgin for her childhood fantasy sweetheart who was married to her sister.seems quite a stretch. A reverse Cinderella story. Really. She is the boss as she gets her man hook line and sinker. A women in control. Sex roles reversed.

The beginning really establishes Rob’s hatred for his brother and his ex-wife and how he’s fallen into a pit of despairs and alcoholism, but then he just kind of gets over it. In fact, most of the story has nothing to do with the betrayal. It just kind of goes away. We never really find out any motivations for the cheaters, and there’s really very little justice for the family that basically chose the cheating brother over Rob. I’m glad to see you focusing on the themes you enjoy and do best, but the conflict doesn’t get resolved in any logical way.

I find it great that you try something new, i like Loving Wives drama the built up was great! But i could not help but feel that you missed the mark when it came to the family and the problem in the room.

They still took the wrong side all of them and he just left?

I mean i would hate if they just be okay after something like that but no big fight?

I am a drama queen so i would have loved more of that in the Story.

I always enjoy the stories in this genre that have a theme of revenge and this one had the best type of revenge which is where you win at life while those that betrayed them self destruct I felt the story could have been longer but despite that still a good read

It was great story especially with Kate being so emphatic with Rob's brother in her NO! ... also great that Trisha got her's without having to dirty Rob's hands.

I would have enjoyed reading more about Rob’s brothers attempt to take Kate. In the story you stated how his brother was having thoughts of taking Kate from Rob also. I think the real revenge would have been the brother trying to seduce Kate and having Kate remain faithful and somehow embarrassing him in his attempt to seduce her. Proving him to be a cad.

It's hard to list how many different ways the story was terrible. the worst part is that at the beginning the story has almost has nothing to do with the 2nd half of the story.

The story begins with the main protagonist or ex husband emotionally and psychologically destroyed by the affair between his wife and his brother. Then the other women shows up and suddenly everything is OK.

Being sacked from a family owned and run company does not look good on a resume. No matter how hard he tried he was unable to get another sales job. What little savings he had went to Trisha or to settle the paternity suits.

He was left homeless and destitute. His family cut him off completely and did not want anything to do with him.

Eventually he had no where to go but to live on the streets. He was found one morning dead from alcohol poisoning. and hisremains were cremated as noone would claim his body.

If Brad had been my son, he would have been fired when I (his boss) found out that he skipped work to fuck his brother’s wife. There is personnel time and business time. If my employee tries to cheat me during their work day then they get FIRED! The author failed to understand my Republican mind! We don’t place family over work. Work comes first. After I fired Brad, I would disown him for what he did to my other son!

Thanks for your story. A couple of suggestions ...

Your story would benefit from having someone else read it over. There were details that didn’t make sense, like a low-cut, backless winter sweater? I can’t imagine how you would knit a backless sweater, but I do know that you wouldn’t want one for winter!

I got lost in a number of your sentences when you tried to do too many things in one sentence. Try to say one thing per sentence.

I also got lost a number of times when you changed the setting without letting us know. It was like”they got in the car…they got out of the car”—but you never told us that they drove from one place to another.

@Anon re. No Way!

Why would the author give a shit about you being a Republican. Keep your politics out of this erotic site. You're ruining the mood. I've had enough of your ilk impressing on this site the relevance of your political belief to the erotic stories posted here. If authors would be writing about the immoral issues surrounding your MAGA leader, they would never run out of stories to write.

There was more promise here than result. Early you had an opportunity to make a story that really explored the emotions of betrayal, then you bailed out of that and made it a “living well is the best revenge” story. Fine, it’s your choice.

The writing of the sex scenes showed promise, but there were too many incongruities in your timelines, sometimes even within a scene.

I’m sorry, if you are writing for any public consumption, you have to learn to use to, too, & two; ewe, you, your, & you’re; there, their, & they’re, etc. It undermines your credibility as an author if you can’t use those correctly.

. . . when I couldn’t even finish it. What I did read was just too cliche: husband comes home unexpectedly and catches his wife fucking someone in the marriage bed, turns out to be his brother, then he hooks up with the younger, hotter and even wealthier sister.

The whole family thing was too unreal. If he wanted to cut off his family then he should have done it, cut them all off, period. That his family would have kept trying to bring him back in the fold after repeated, rude rejections, should have made them quit trying long before.

At the end of page three, I skipped to the comments.

Enjoyable for the first part, then just a romance. I enjoyed your writing style, so kept me reading. Shame he agreed to help the family business, should have dumped them totally. Made the end wimpy.

Writing good, story started well, but most was blah romance and terrible end.

I Have Lived Part of this Story ... I hope they have more than just the One Child ..

I hate to tell you anonymous and named people who's complaining about the editing it was edited. The name is WAA01 if you got complaints send it to him, I'll sit back and watch as he... well you'll find out. I just forgot to put his name on it when I submitted it.

It really felt like a romance after the first page. The story does not focalize the LW but rather her sister. I have to ask myself how he managed to even stay in the same city after the divorce.There is very little tension in the story and no climax.

I don't rightly care! Whatever it was, it was a really fine story. It gets Five Stars from me!

I really like this story and am always amazed at the derogatory comments for self biased issues. It was well done, flowed very nicely, and I appreciated the work.

The cheating wife and subsequent revenge was an interesting segment but was spoiled a lot by this containing segments of a pretty simple porn story. Too much of that "fluff" took away from the basic segments of the story and diluted it.

Practice!

T.T.

4 *. A bit wordy. Needed to be cut by 2 pages.

Your can think that hindsight, but no.

The best story I've read on Literotica in several years! Not only did the story flow naturally and well but also was free of the plethora of errors in syntax, spelling, and punctuation distracting the reader in an unpleasant way that plague many of the stories on this site.

You managed to completely nail a Loving Wives tale, make it a somewhat unique take, write it well AND make it sexy, all at the same time! If you never do another one, it'll be because you never NEEDED to!

A complete and very entertaining story. Thanks for sharing.

do you use so many dangling participles? At least they are in parts of the sorry that can be skipped over with minimal loss.

Well done! Endearing, great ending. But “slacks”...lol?!!

Thanks for sharing!

I truly enjoy your writting, it's always fresh and interesting. Thankyou for bringing everyone that has the pleasure to read your stories along for the ride.

this was one of your best stories. 5*

I absolutely loved it

This was boring. A 22y old virgin CEO? Really? Was it your plan writing a fairy tail? And then your obsession about money and work. Why is that important for your story telling? I like the idea for this story, but Kate is not a believeable character at all.

Then write your own story. No skin off my nose.

...if the author could write...

A little long, but not bad at all. It would have been better with more description of Rob's conflict with Brad. Smacking him just once wasn't enough punishment for taking his wife.

I can't believe this was written by the same author who wrote "From The Ashes". This one felt incredibly over the top and ham-handed compared to the other, not only in terms of the writing but also the plot.

A truly enjoyable story. I thoroughly enjoyed it!!!

Not all Anons' are just toerags hiding.

I happened to like to like this story. Close to a 5, but for some spelling/grammar errors that happen in many other stories also.

Still a solid 4 due to our male protagonist here getting the best form of revenge. He gets to live well, have a happy home, and having a solid family.

Enjoyed the story so 5*s. BUT, sorely in need of some serious editing!

Just finished reading it again, I think it might need a follow-up. But you have so many opened stories I don't think that will happen. Waiting on the next story!

This was a good story! I'm glad to see that people got what they deserved on both sides.

He let his betraying family back into his life. Should have just hung up on them.

Good story, but a bit rambling at times.

Get to a very quick ending. Good story though

started out with a great initial betrayal and the aftermath of feuding with his family but thee rest was just rambling on with an obvious ending.

5 stars though for the first page.

They picked brother let them keep him

No family until they make recompense.

What?

Take a great deal

This is probably going to be about the only story of yours that I'll be reading, unless of course you are going to be writing about more than just Incest. Not a bad story at all but it needed a lot more detail about Brad's justice. At least Kate didn't put up with his shit and Rob finally did what he should have done in the beginning. So if Janet did all of the bookeeping for the company how is it that she didn't notice the skimming? Sounds like they need a 'professional' in there to really check things out, they are known as Forensic Accountants. As for the parts about how the family didn't side with the slut and fuckwad, I call Bullshit! Imagine that, Brad was a thief too and Trish was too stupid to figure him out but you should have left out the part about helping the family company out, he resigned remember?. Signed: BTW

""And you better invite us to the wedding if there is one," his mother said, with a loving smile. "At least come tell your father goodbye before you head off," she said, reaching out and taking hold of his hand.

God you really are a delusional bitch arent you mom? How many fucking times do I have to tell you that as you chose that backstabbing son of a whore over me we are finished? I look forward to never having to see you traitors for the rest of my life

The good guy wins we love it. great stuff man. it's nice to see someone who was shit one come out on top with a better life

I’m not one for cheating stories but I like your work and I decided to take and read this one and I have to say I’m glad I did and I’m really glad the good guy and girl won and the evil brother and ex-wife paid a price in the end.

I have read this story several times. somehow it just hits me. I am happily married and just love this story.

Great work keep writing more like this.

Of infidelity? Lol.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, either Kate becoming an evil witch ( maybe that wouldn't be bad ) or his sleazy brother some how talking her into his bed, or Rob turning into an asshole; but it didn't happen. Great ending. maybe an irate husband will take care of the older brother. The Bear approves.

The BEAR

Good stuff! I don’t understand why Kate didn’t scream as she slugged Brad for grabbing her ass. Exposing his sleaziness to both families, and her sister, would have justified Robbie’s bitterness when the families sided against him.

The only ending better than Brad caught cheating, would be having Trisha 4 months pregnant when they split; then having her deliver a child clearly not Brad’s. A tale of two cheaters would show both sets of parents that they favored the wrong offspring.

I am so happy he found the real love of his life someone he could truly trust.