All Comments on 'Big Brother'

Yummy, yummy story! Thanks for your quality writing!

As usual I noted that your command of English, dialogue, style etc is as good as ever.But, something doesn't quite jell. I couldn't pick it at first so I went back and read several of your other stories.

My conclusion was that the one weakness in your writing is the lack of and in this story almost total absence of character development.The characters are all very one dimensional and it is difficult to relate to any of them.It's a bit like an Agatha Christie novel(and I must admit she did pretty well!)

So long as you write the sex scenes so well you will always get high marks from readers but to be really exceptional you need to do more. Specifically the brain is a more important sex organ than a cock or cunt and you could have had a fascinating time expressing the hopes and fears in Sara's mind rather than the very predictable and mechanical course the story took. You're good but you could be so much better.

It was a good story, but I was waiting with bated breath to see Sara being fucked for the first time by her brother... and was so disappointed when she wasn't!

Is that in part 2???

Wasn't this story first posted back in mid '03. I get the distinct impression that I have read it before.

Yes - I agree about their characters, or lack of same - but the story was pretty hot, anyway. I hope we'll be invited to Sara's birthday party.

I'd rather have had the story in easier to read episodes.

And I think anal content is totally un-necessary.

Lukas

A long story , but well worth the read. To say I enjoyed it would be right on target. I leaked most of the way thru the story. I would like for you to write more , since the Mom & Dad are involved. My imagination is running wild. Think about it.

Wow, what a read! I agree, you do need a little more well-rounded character development, but you do a fairly good job. And always proofread. I admit, I hate that part myself. But your action scenes are hot. My clit throbbed during the whole reading. Good luck on future stories...I know I'm one reader who is looking forward to the next one.

Lack of character development in an erotic story is not necessarily a major fault. Sure, it's great when it's there, but in a story already 7 pages long, it might have been extreme. I felt I knew enough about the characters' personalities to enjoy their sex. And I *love* 7 page stories.... I'd much rather have it as one long session of enjoyment than broken up into chapters.

This story involves non-stop sex among people who know and love each other. It really is a very good story. I hope the author adds to it.

...but one thing I've always liked about TryAnything's stories is the innocent wonderment and unquestioning acceptance of the sexuality that's on offer. What other commentators are seeing as lack of character, I'm seeing as the absence of the usual conflicts, guilt, and tension surrounding the "illicit" sexual goings-on. Maybe that's why, despite my total lack of interest in male-male scenes, I can kind of read past them in these stories.

I realize that, for a lot of readers, it's the breaching of societal boundaries that adds that "literotica" twist of perversion to the experience, but TryAnything manages to write full-steam-ahead stories despite providing a bare minimum of "internal" (in the heads of his characters) guilt and conflict): somehow he gets away with allowing us--the readers--to supply whatever degree of "external" shock factor we need out of our OWN heads.

What others are calling lack of character is thus, to my mind, a considerable authorial achievement--allowing his readers to paint in the outlines of his calm, curious, accepting characters from whatever part of the erotic color-spectrum we feel necessary. Nobody carries off this trick with quite the bravura of TryAnything!

That being said, let's break this gal's cherry! If she is reluctant to give up her hymen, there's always her sweet hind end...

I really enjoyed the fact that for once a story about taboo sex wasn't frought with paragraph after paragraph about how this character knew what they were doing was wrong, etc etc. But they do it anyway. This way is so much better, the story is centered on the sex.

And now, TryAnything, get back to your keyboard and get this girl devirginized, PRONTO!!!!!!

Thanks for an enjoyable story.

this story is suposedly new. I read it years ago. did you write it or copy it.

This story is a re-release..and it is just as good as the first time i read it..I am still waiting patiently for its sequal..which i have asked about twice now..i hope to see one soon, and am hoping that the idea for a re-release is because the sequal is finally going to happen..Hope i am right!

Tryanything, you are one of the hottest writers on the website. I've been enjoying you for some time now, and have listed you as one of my favorites. Thanx for all you have done.

Your story was very thought provoking as well as interesting. The story was well written with great development of the characters in the storyline. I really enjoyed reading this story.

can't wait for part two- daddy and steve take her virginity together, veronica and mommy clean her up, then she gets everyone

as everyone so rightly says - where is the fucking sequel!! i need to know how her V is taken. I have read a lot of your stuff already and i think this is one of your bests - keep up the good work!

so who busts her cherry? please make it her brother. thanks for a great story and once again PLEASE write part two.

Bunnyboy

Want to know how she looses her virginity, please let Steve fuck her first and then her father. I want to cum just by thinking of it.

I am new to this site, and never thought that incest would make me sooo hot. I have been reading stories by TryAnything, and he is an awsome writer. I loved this story, but I do want a part 2. I think her father should do the honors!!

I am also new to this site, and so far my favorite sotories have been by TryAnything. Incest/Taboo makes me soooo fucking hot, i never realised i would be so turned on by it. I would love it if this story had a part two, and PLEASE let steve fuck her first... he is one hot character.

I loved your story. I almost came half way through. I hope Steve has her first. I love incest stories.

I have read this story at least three times and every time I love it. I hope Steve is her first. Please, Please, Please write that story.

I thought this story was awesome untill they took sara to patty and bill's place..................The story went from being very very good to shockingly bad from page6-page7.........I don't want to run down this story but i felt disgusted and massivly turned off when veronia and the others were trying to persuade sara to lose her virginity to all the swingers or steve........This story upto page 5 was very good just a shame that in the last two pages it made me feel a bit sick like sara had been "Manipulated" into the seedy world of swinging and swingers, She was what 18 or 19 in the story and someone of that age fact or fiction shouldn't really be in the situation where she's being pressured into giving her viginity away to someone she doesn't really love :D.....Upto now all the brother/sister stories i'd read were decent and were very good to read but this one has turned me off the whole incest stories part of this site.....Story or not i still feel a bit disgusted about this story and i won't be reading any part 2's or 3's of this, There's a difference from making an erotic story being erotic and crossing the line into forced sex and selling rape as a story, This story went from a story where she was finding out about sexuality to the perverted views of swingers, For my natural hatred of swingers their involvment makes this story go from an 8/10+ rated story to 2/10. SHOCKINGLY BAD FINISH

TryAnything always reminds me of 1980s pulp porn novels -- the erotic appeal is usually in the extreme fantasy of the thing. This story is no different: a straight-forward premise that gets increasingly fantastical, but solidly erotic.

I enjoyed your story very much can't wait for the sequel. I had to open my pants and taste my precum as I read. This is the kind of family I would like to be in, so open and free and uninhibited. Keep up the good work.

Where is part 8 where either her father or her brother are the 1st. to sink their cocks into her virgin pussy

another epic story and i lived it.wished it had continued to sara getting fucked,probably by her brother,then dad,but still a great story.

Why'd you stop??!! I absolutely lovedddddd this story!!!!! I wanted to read about sara losing her virginity! Making another chapter? I hope so!!

I loved this story, and would love to read more of it.. i want to know about the details of Sara losing her virginity.. What happens next???

I want to know more about this

The swinging fucked up the whole story i could even excuse the Huge brothers cock lol another huge cock say it ain't so.

Very hot story! Great detail, great build-up, great story! I would love to see a continuation... Sara losing her V to her brother and Sara having her own 'grand opening'.

Not crazy about mom & dad being added to the sex but... it was probably just because I almost wasn't expecting it... until the brother started hinting at things about the parents and then I saw it coming...

A very fun story.

You gotta continue, I'm still throbbing! I need to know how Sara lost her cherry!!

That was hot!

This is afantastic story.

It could go on forever,

It could be a whole book.

I loved it ^ hope you write more to add to this story.

Sarah has to loose her virginity yet, so there is at least one more chapter

but sara still needs to lose her virginity i think it should be to her brother since he was the only one totally honest with her even though he didnt technically tell her anything and i thought she should have been a little more mad at her parents for lying to her they made her think they were prudes or something so much so that she felt she had to run away from home to go to see her brother she missed so much

I loved the story and would love to read more like it.

this is the most fantastic story I have ever read. The only thing missing is closer I hope her brother gets her cherry

I usally do not read stories of this length, they tend to take too much time and drift. But this was a great story and it kept me hooked until the end. It was so good that the disappointment that Sara did not get fuck is minimal.

You have to add more to it, it was an AWESOME story!!

delicious 3some sex scenes! great descriptions, I could read those all day. I would have rather u swapped out sara losing her V at the grand opening for the 'mom swinger' bit. yuck. still, kudos for lots of good sex scenes!

OK, I'm sure this story is fine, but I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs for the fact that the girl is obviously supposed to be younger than 18, even though you throw in a line about her being 18. I mean, come on, she "isn't allowed to drive without an adult licensed driver with her?" Pretty damn sure 18 year olds are allowed to drive without an adult licensed driver as they are adults themselves. I could forgive that to some degree because some people get their drivers licenses later in life, but then her brother says "You're underage to take the car by yourself." Underage to take the car? Come on now. It's pretty obvious you wrote the story with her as a 15-or-so year old and then changed it to say "18" at the last minute to get around guidelines, without changing the context around which clearly spells out that she isn't really 18 yet.

Nice story at the beginning, so much potential. But it changes to a rape story with a plot implemented by the brother and his wife. I felt uncomfortable even reading this and stopped half-way-in.

I really liked most of the story but the ending killed the whole story. Better luck next time.

1- Much of the story revolves around Sara's virginity, but it is not discussed at the end.

2- ClockworkBanana obviously is not aware of many states driving laws for children under 21. They can drive during the day, if alone, but not at night without a 25 year old driver.

3- The talk was about the party, and Sara was invited to attend, but chose not to. Then, was chastised for attending because she was too young?

4- Sara's character development was not truly consistent.

OK? Still and all, it was a fairly good story. Spelling and grammar were in the 97+% category. The storyline was good, overall, though a bit verbose in a few instances. 4+*

Hmmm I personally couldn't finish reading this, the first 5 pages were great but then at page 6 with patti and bill was a bit too much for me, I guess the whole swinging thing isn't for me. Also I may be the only one but there was a little too much sex and I got bored after a while. I've given a 3 out of 5 simply because the story did provide me with 3 orgasms but the singing did nothing for me.

WONDERFULL I TOO WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEE HER LOOSE HER FLOWER MAYBE TO HER BROTHER OD BETTER HER DAD. THEN GOING AIR TIGHT.

The brother reloads to fast, guys just cant do that. I liked the story , would like to see part two.

Skipping ahead a bit... I'm sorry, but the neighbors are just creepers! They're both pushy as fuck too. She was already uncomfortable and had basically said she wasn't interested and Billtard basically pulled her down on the floor and titty-raped her. Then they get all gleamy eyed gleeful on the 'grand opening' crap. Yeah, lets have someone get in there and tear her hymen then let every creeper old man in the whole neighborhood fuck her immediately after when any normal girl would want her pussy left the fuck alone for a day or three to heal up. Niiiiice. I was enjoying the story more when she was just at her brothers house, at least with her boundries being pushed a little there she was with family she knows and trusts. As a brother, I never would have taken my wide eyed, pretty much newly awakened sister over next door. On a lighter note, three's enough. Ahem ;). Brrr creeper neighbors still giving me chills.

There must be more, Sara hasn't had her 'birthday' bash yet; please do finish this off properly !

Otherwise, another great story !

Must play together - so well written - And another one to read - I wonder?

A great story, but where is the rest! It can't just finish like this....

You left us HARD!!!! Who got her CHERRY???

Great story, but hated the ending.

Seven great pages - but no end.

A bit disappointment.

Worth 5 Stars, but even now after all the time that has passed, you could still add that final page - please !

That is one of the hottest an wildest family swinging stories in a long time, l loved it, l loved how u went fairly slow, building up to a semi-finale with the parents, now u just need to conclude with the grand opening of little sis, just as Bill suggested.

Now l just wish l too could be apart of a community like where big bro lives, but alas it's not meant to be, as l do not have a significant other, an from what l can tell so far, most communities do not allow single males to live in such places, oh well l can dream hey, lol.

As for some of the other comments, l too think that u missed an opportunity to give us, the reader some insights as to what little sis is thinking about each new experience, that she has while living with big bro.

these people should form a club...like the Avengers of Sex, The Age of the Clitoris...Being a swinger for over 20 years it's hard to find a woman who can stand for her pussy to be licked after cumming multiple times or find a guy who can cum so many times and here is a room full of people who can do it, and Steve should change his name to Super Steve and have a big S on his chest....

I received a nice email from someone asking me to 'finish' this story. I had to look it up to remember it. Wow. I like this one!!! :) I had totally forgotten about it. I agree with everyone, this story is NOT finished. What a terrible ending. And yes, it was originally written with Sara being 15 but I had to change it to 18 to satisfy the rules of the site.

I do not consider myself a writer by any stretch of the imagination. I prefer to think of myself as a storyteller. I use this forum as a way to explore ideas of sexuality that I cannot or will not explore in the 'real' world. A very safe way to do it, in my mind. I actually try to develop the characters in some stories to a degree, but then the story gets lost in the character development and there doesn't seem to be enough 'action'. I need to find a way to strike a balance between the two.

As far as the physics/physiology of sex, well, this is fantasy so I choose to 'bend the rules' a bit for the sake of the story. I have personal experience of men who actually can 'reload' at will. Always blows my mind and makes me jealous. It is also why I presume a world free of STDs. Makes for a better story.

Also, to my personal way of thinking, there is no such thing as 'taboo' in sex. I utterly reject any of the so-called societal norms of behavior in this regard that have been forced upon us as a people by the bullshit institutions of religion. I also find personally distasteful any force, rape, degradation, etc., in the world of sex. I have written a few stories to explore a bit of the 'dark side', but that's what it was, an exploration.

Anyway, I love seeing feedback. I learn from it. Now I need to think about this story and come up with a continuation/sequel that is worthy of the original. I find this story to be better written than some of my more recent stuff and that gives me pause.

Thanks again to everyone,

TryAnything

It's been a year since you agreed this needed a second part. Have you not been able too? Need some help? I agree with ALL your sex story philosophies, so I'd be happy to help! Be it editing, proofreading, plot development, or anything. Your one of my favorite Authors on here, and I'm starting my own stories as well. It would be nice to talk with someone that has done this and been successful at it like you have.

Love the build-up as sister learns how her brother was into perpetual sex with his girlfriend. As sis is drawn into the game she learns to relax & let it happen.

Find descriptive words of intimacy & lovemaking.

Makes me wish I could join in when the girls lick pussies.

A great story.

I love the build up. Very sexy. Very erotic. 5 stars.

That was one exciting story from start to finish 5*

Great story until the party scene. I would have thought a joining of the family and exploration of their lifestyle and bringing Sara into it with her coming out party would have more impact.

Excellent story till the end… then screeching of tires stopping. Also one aspect that distracted from the story, a capital ‘A’ throughout the story. At first, it was easy to say close to the “W”, But then other places. Just distracting

It was good till the gay scene. I get the swinging and incest but gay shit is not my thing and I stopped there. Disappointed because it seemed to have potential.

I wanted to see either John or Steve take Sara's cherry!

Nice story over all but I thing the better ending would like others have said is having a coming of age party with her brother Steve taking her cherry since the whole story started on how close of a relationship they had, then Daddy getting the honors of seconds.

Not into gay stuff, though I suppose your agenda required it's inclusion. I mean nothing disrespectful by using the term agenda, but you do seem to be making a point about sexuality and lines and yet it was the only homosexual scene. Seemingly included either for ... World building? Or just to 'drive home's the point that you feel, or I suppose I can give the benefit of the doubt and say the characters feel, that there aren't lines like straight or gay.

Having said that I did not really find this story arousing but it was well written smut so I finished it.