All Comments on 'Big Flipping Deal Ch. 05'

One of the best stories i've read on this site so far. Really great stuff!

They have to end up together!

I'm totally loving the depth of the characters here.

I am absolutely loving this series

going great

I can't wait to read more but at the same time I don't want it to end.

*giggle* as Lindsey said... So he does have some backbone. I jest, still that last page showed some guts, especially asking her on a date after she threw cold water on the relationship. You go guy!

Wow fast one we didn't dare tribbing till the 7th date! somehow for my straight machoism dry humping was more intimidating than sex or giving her a handjob!

I am really enjoying this series.

This is a really great story line, please don't stop.

@Anonymous (Shame I can't 5 star in advance): Well, if you could 5 star in advance, I might be tempted to slack off on the later installments, so it's probably a good thing that you can't! (Kidding ... my stories usually won't let me slack off ...)

@Anonymous (Beautiful story): I won't spoil the ending, but I'm glad you feel that way!

@Anonymous (Love the series): These two became pretty special to me as I was writing this. I'm glad it shows!

@Anonymous (Great story): That's what I strive for!

@wolf9696: : )

@xXEvaXx: Well, there can't be a happy ending if there's not an end ... right? (Not that I'm spoiling the ending and saying it's for sure going to be happy ...)

@Heisenhug: Nick would appreciate the kudos, I'm sure. He's not an immensely prideful person, but discovering what you want and going for it is something to be proud of.

@Anonymous (Start thinking of a sequel): I'm pretty sure if I'd waited until the 7th date to start the action in this story, the audience would have strung me up!

@albertaboy: I am really glad to hear it!

@Anonymous (Keep writing please): The good news is, I'm pretty driven, so I'll definitely keep writing. But the less good news is, this story line wraps up in Chapter 7, and after that I'll be taking a break to finish a (non-erotica) fantasy novel. That will probably absorb my writing time for a couple of months. I have scads of erotica ideas in the wings, though, so I won't be gone for long. Thanks for the encouragement!

I've been on HRT for a 8 months now and have yet to address my decision with most of my family. The type of courage emulared by your characters makes me feel inspired as though some how I can face my fears head on... seriously not bad for "erotica" Great story!

Wow! Considering that most of my family doesn't even know I write erotica, I have only the greatest respect for people brave enough to put themselves forward and face the uncertainty of how their families will respond. I'm humbled that you would consider my work motivational ... it seems like an easy thing to sit here behind my keyboard, as compared to actually living those difficult decisions day in and day out.

My hat is off to you ... best of luck with your family, and stay strong in your sense of self.

: )

So I may or may not have just bing read this entire story, and I'm pretty impressed. I started reading this story looking for some bland fluff about someone overcoming bigotry (We all need our guilty pleasures), and I after reading about how kind of misogynistic the narrator starts off the story, I thought I was in for another paint by the numbers blaise story written fifty times before. I'm sure most of the people know the standard fair here in trans romance: guy meets hot girl, hot girl is (shock) trans, guy angsts (Am I... gay?), then guy realizes she's a girl, they both fuck in whatever way the narrator finds the hottest.

I kept going, just wanting to get to the standard realization that trans women are women, and have the protagonist get a wonderfully fuckable (and passable!) woman falling over herself for him and for them to go live their wonderful hetero life.

And then this story takes the wonderful left turn and all of the cardboard cutouts coming to life and make me care about them. I love how the trans woman in this story has talents and self-respect and cynicism while still being vulnerable, and most importantly, reading like a woman. As a male author, writing a believable cisgender woman seems hard enough, writing a trans woman character that is believable seems damn near impossible. Kudos. I can tell you have done your homework.

The narrator is a well constructed character as well. He has multiple times where he thinks things that are really, really awful- but then immediately corrects himself, because he isn't a tool. This to me is a really cool representation of someone who does have a bunch of misconceptions about trans people, but really wants to change, because he doesn't just 'cure' himself in one eureka moment. It takes time, it takes work, and it takes a certain amount of self-loathing to get to an acceptable place. I speak from more experience in this than I care to admit, but it seems like one of the most realistic portrayals of this kind of journey for a character that I have ever seen.

Basically, I'm saying that this story is a big flipping deal.

As a side note, you write amazingly fast and I'm jealous.

This story is so sanctimonious, so judgmental, so preachy, so cliche, and (most of all) so saccharine that you've made the process of reading it into a chore. Not to name drop, but you could give Whiskey a run for his money in all of those areas--although your grammar is significantly better.

Every time the main character goes into an internal rant about the controversy of using a given pronoun with regards to Lindsey OR when he lectures everyone--and no one--with his cookie-cutter labels of "closed-minded", "bigot", and "ignorant" OR when he initiates an unctuous Peter Parker-esque monologue about his self-deprecating feelies and confusion, my mind literally vomits and I can't keep my eyes from skipping paragraphs ahead.

You CAN write, but you're constantly bogged down by character embellishment and over-dramatism. Either you've made a severe miscalculation in your attempt to make your John Everyman as genuine and down-to-earth as possible or he's a terrible excuse of an LGBT agitprop caricature. Both he and everyone else featured within this story is a walking platitude. I do not necessarily have a problem with archetypes when it comes to tropes such as "Hetero-Boy meets T-Girl in a Harsh World", but when every player is a soap-boxing carbon copy of all the 'overcoming hardship in a hetero-normative society' stories that came before, then your work turns out to be neither romantic nor erotic. It's just hokum.

Usually by part 5 of a story it becomes a clusterfuck, usually quite literally.

This one is more realistic. I feel for the characters.

Thanks for writing such a substantial and eloquent comment!

I'm glad the characters come across as believable and real. Nick was pretty easy ... it hasn't been that long since my own state of incomprehension about transgenderism, so Nick was just a matter of writing a nice guy who had some of the same blank spots in his education/experience as I had in mine. Lindsey was a little more difficult, but ultimately I decided that if I just tried to write her as an interesting individual, she would probably fall into place.

Regarding your side note ... I hope you don't think I've been writing this as fast as it's been posting! The whole thing took about two months to write, and I've been editing the individual chapters this past week for posting. In general, I try to keep myself at a pace of about 500 to 1000 words a day. The stories pile up pretty quick that way.

Thanks for taking the time to critique the chapter so extensively. I think there's a definite validity to your "saccharine" criticism in that I do tend to write nice stories about nice people for nice readers, and there's no doubt that my approach must be cloying to some. However, your "carbon-copy" and "walking platitude" criticisms ring less true to me, and make me wonder if you tried to read this chapter without benefit of the extensive character development that's taken place in chapters 1 through 4. I went back and looked over this chapter while attempting to put myself in the shoes of a reader who hadn't read the preceding chapters, and I can see how the characters' personalities would seem much flatter in that case. Please forgive me if I'm wrong in this suspicion -- I'm not saying it's unthinkable for someone to dislike the entire story start to finish. But you must admit it would take rather a glutton for punishment to read 40,000 words into a story where every line of the narrator's dialogue provokes a desire to vomit.

If I could ask you a favor, then, it would be that you not expend valuable time reading middle chapters of my work (or any author's, for that matter) when you could easily arrive at the conclusion that it wasn't for you after chapter 1. It's impossible for a writer to rebuild the characters from scratch in every chapter for the benefit of readers who come in midstream, and it's unfair to assume that your reading of the characters would not be different if informed by their prior development.

That's not to say that my story doesn't suck ... just that I'd prefer you decide that it sucks on the basis of the starting chapter, not a randomly chosen middle one.

Thanks again, though, for letting me know your thoughts. I'll certainly be looking for the symptoms you point out when I revise the story for future publication.

No literal clusterfucks in my stories ... well, except for IMAGCASM, and I really don't know what came over me in that one ...

Thanks for liking the story and for commenting!

I like the story. I don't care about saccharine or believability, I just care about emotions it brings. Can't wait for the rest. Don't stop there, I'm waiting!

It never fails to make my day when readers let me know they appreciate the emotions in my stories! Thanks tons!

I look forward to each new chapter and wish that the story would never end.

But I guess you would get tired of it.

I'm afraid I almost always have an ending in mind when I start a story, and I usually finish the entire story before I start editing and posting. So yes, the story will be over in a couple of chapters. But I'll be back with something else not too long after that.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

I just read 1 - 5 back to back:) to dont make me wait

Most tales on this site are pretty much forgettable after the sexual antics have been digested, however, this is so well written that I do want to see how things turn out for the main characters and can sympathsize with their feelings. If they ever publish another anthology of stories from Lit, this certainly needs to be on there. Cant wait for the next chapter!!

> it's unfair to assume that your reading of the characters would not be different if informed by their prior development.

"Dude, I checked out that Potter thing, read like 3 pages from the middle of the Goblet of Fire and it's terrible! The characters are totally unbelievable, the dialogue is nonexistent and the setting makes no sense. There's not even any goblets and even if there were they're under water so it's impossible for them to be on fire! Just cause the kid has a fireball wand doesn't make it a book about wizards. Urg, the author is a hack and it'll never sell. It's almost as bad as that stupid cookbook you recommended... Game of no recipes more like. Or that Two Towers thing you insist isn't the worst travelogue ever."

Whaaaaat? I'm impatient for chapter 6 to go live :p

Also, have I mentioned how mind numbing Tolkien's marsh trek is?

@tex4tg: Chapters 6 and 7 are in the queue to be posted!

@Anonymous (One of the all-time): I can only say that I'm immensely flattered!

@Heisenhug: Well, it wasn't really my intention to make fun of anyone. I'd say a more direct analogy would be watching an episode of a TV show from the middle of the season and not understanding when a character's dialogue is funny or ironic or threatening due to previous events that you missed. I tried picking up the "Battlestar Galactica" reboot series in midstream and thought it was dull and overdramatized and confusing. The "Six" in Baltar's head seemed particularly weird/silly to me. But when I went back and binge-watched from the start, I found it extremely rich and complex, and realized that the head-Six was one of the most entertainingly creative things I've ever seen on television. As for the marsh trek, I think that opening section of Fellowship is like most of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It's intentionally grueling in order to convey how vast and dangerous and unpleasant the mere process of getting from one place to another can be.

I am a fan. I like the sex to be a pay off w some build up and yes this is a nice story but honestly trans stories can be so hardcore it feels like the characters actually both deserve a little sugar in their bowl. I'm loving the flirtation and do think you're a master of flirty awk exchange per your lovely interracial story. More pls!!

Chapter 6 looks like it's scheduled to post tomorrow.

Thank you for being a fan!

Dude. I never comment on these things. But ive read your story and it's amazing. You're a master with words and should be writing these as books. You could make a killing. Bravo!

Oh, no, I wasn't trying to make fun of the anon commenter or suggest you were, the line just made that image pop in to my head and it was too funny not to share. It's pretty interesting how much you can distort a story by taking a very specific bit out of its context, like the underwater challenge in GoF. I totally agree that you can't write characters that have no back story to learn and expect them to be interesting... Indeed, the methods used for writing really good stories is pretty much the opposite of what would be needed to allow a story to be cleanly picked up at a random point.

Isn't the bit between the breaking of the Fellowship and Shelobb's lair sort of middle to end of Two Towers? Been a while since I read the books. It really is a sign of Tolkien's skill that you do feel like you are slogging across that desolate marsh with them.

The heck? Why'd it decide to post that anon? Yeah, sorry, that has comment day me

Thanks! I actually do try to sell the things, but I'm terrible at marketing.

Sorry to misinterpret your Goblet of Fire scenario. It was funny, for sure.

And I was apparently on a misinterpretation kick, because I thought you meant the journey early on in Fellowship where they're going through that swampy area and end up at Tom Bombadil's.

I should be more careful!

Ah, Tom Bombadil... I was so gutted they left him out of the movie, such an incredible character even if his little bit of the world seems out of place on initial glance.

The characters are human,and they are dealing with the situation keeping their basic humanity,and it is turning into a true love story,with real emotions.I can only hope in the end they make it,cause they are a cute couple.

Story about 2 gay guys. One of them pretends to be straight and the other one dresses up as a woman?

I love erotic _stories_, and so few of the pieces here are really stories. Write a good story, and the sex will take care of itself—and this is a great one.

It's a confusing subject. Sorry my story wasn't able to clarify it for you, but thanks for commenting.

I have my doubts that Tom Bombadil would have been handled right if they'd included him. But I'm sure Goldberry would have been lovely. If there's anything Peter Jackson knows how to do, it's filming beautiful women.

They are a really cute couple, aren't they? I'm glad you thought so, and I hope chapter 7 satisfies your expectations...

: )

I try to be sympathetic even to haters ... most hate comes from fear or pain, and you can't cure it by throwing stones. But I agree that there's not often much to be gained from dialogue with anonymous negativity.

On the much brighter side, I'm really pleased how many people have responded positively to the storyline in this series, and your comment more than erases any shadow cast by the anonymous heckling.

Thank you!

Fine story.

Hmmm, you could be right. As I recall, Tolkien said that the lore relating to Tom Bombadil was intentionally left as vague as possible since there should always be some mystery left in the world. Unfortunately that also translates to being hard to direct and understand fully, so without Tolkien himself there to steer things it would likely lack too much of what makes Tom Tom.

Maybe for my Halloween story I should write about some cosplayers at a LOTR-themed party getting it on while dressed as Tom and Goldberry. Then some hobbits join in, and eventually the punch line is that the one thing they need to make the orgy complete is Wormtongue.

That sounds hilarious, though the puns might get strained too fast

Yeah, I already peaked on LOTR puns with the Wormtongue one. But then, the Harvard Lampoon covered most of that territory decades ago in "Bored of the Rings."

I have Bored of the Rings on a shelf somewhere... It takes real dedication to make a parody like that

Yes, although it is waaaaay shorter than the original it's making fun of.

Poetic.

“our lips met like the sea and shore on a dark, moonless night. We kissed deep and fast now, as though the tide were quickening”

That line really got me.

I'm glad you liked that one ... I was pretty happy with the line myself!

Thanks for letting me know!