All Comments on 'Bowling a Maiden Over'

Lovely story and the perfect title. I hope that there's more coming for those two!

I loved every last bit of it. The relationship between Ellie and Chantal, their own personal stories ie - the breakdown of Ellie's marriage and Chantal's family being homophobic. All of it makes the characters real and three dimensional and it is a pleasure to see them interact with one another. Even minor characters like Sorcha and Eve shine through.

Excellent stuff.

I enjoyed the story, awarded it five stars and wish you luck in the competition. However, it felt unfinished to me. There were a number of loose ends which could have taken the story much further (unless you plan on a sequel), specifically: (1) Chantal's relationship with her homophobic family which could have serious effects on her blossoming relationship with Ellie; and (2) Ellie's relationship with her semi-estranged sister. I really would like to see these plot-lines taken further at some point.

Hopefully we will see more of these two.

I gave it a 5er. It was a real joy to read. I have to agree to Maonaigh though - it would be a shame if you leave them on their own now. We need to know more about Chantal's family and Ellie's sister. And for sure more about the contraband goods they plan to bring to Brisbane.

Don't we?

My best wishes for the contest.

Truly, a remarkable story. How you made your characters & environments bloom & spring to life is fabulous. I agree with Mao neigh that I want more. Much has been left unresolved but that is hopefully for another few chapters. Thank you so much for this lovely & loving story.

I hope we will get to hear how they develop their relationship. Your writing is sooo good.

I could just envision the Australian setting and the characters were so alive. And so hot. I'm glad to be introduced to your writing, keep up the great work.

I reached the first star break, but nothing grabbed me. It was ordinary.

Management

Great title, nice balance between all the training and play of the game and the romance. Lots of loose ends, mostly to do with family, and it would've been nice to see how they fared in the next match, before leaving them to their own relation development off the page.

No thank you. Nothing attractive about an 18 year old and an severely older sexual partner. Such a turn off!! Sorry was pretty ordinary too.

The best male bowlers just crack 60mph.....

5 sixes in a row is also complete b/s

Was a really great story, loved the build up to the relationship. The only part that was a bit off-putting for me was where you, for lack of a literary equivalent term, broke the fourth wall at the bar in Sydney "and this is a story on LitErotica". It just seemed forced to put it in that way, and broke the pace of the reading.

Obviously I got on with it and enjoyed the rest of the story, 5 stars and look forward to reading more from you.

Ah the disappointment of 'only' scoring 30 of 6 balls. Bloody openers ay?

A few small quibbles if I may;

WBBL hasn't been played at the SCG unless it's a double header with the boys or when either of the Sydney teams make the finals. North Sydney Oval, Drummoyne or Hurstville ovals are where the WBBL is played. Still, as you broke the 4th wall to tell us, this is Literotica so some small suspension of disbelief is in order.

As a cricket nuffy I already had in mind that the Chantal, being a specialist batsmen, was shorter than the fast bowling Ellie however other than the small mention during the sex scene, I don't think you brought their size difference up. If you did I don't think you did enough to emphasise the contrast between their body shapes.

The heavier bat thing seemed superfluous to the story. I'm assuming there was some technical pontification about it that died the death of a thousand cuts at the editors table? Perhaps some time spent articulating the differences in pitch between India, the WACA and the SCG would have served better and should you continue with the story, would serve as a plausible reason for some extra training sessions.

I think that lesbian bar scene could have been better served by the coach finding out her secret and telling her that gay is OK. It would have fleshed out and humanised the coach (Gus?) a bit more. Unless of course you've got her in there for storyline purposes? i.e. a break up between our two heroines and a one night stand between Chantal and Sorcha?

Either way you've clearly left yourself some room to grow with the homophobic father and the distant sister looking forward to the next chapter.

P.S. a redhead with out pubes is just not cricket. Can you at least give her a landing strip please.

Reading it second time around and it's still good, The Lit remark in the pub is still a great reality check to show us it's an all made up story so none of it is real, liked it again. What's unfortunate is that there's no follow up from it, there are indeed too many loose ends still and yes most of us here prefer a happy clean ending to a romance story. t'd be good if you could.

Cricket theme is much appreciated. The romance was wonderful. With the various cities, spots described so well, reading this story felt like a tour of Oz. All combined, a top read. Thank you.

Whose the idiot Anon, saying male bowlers only reach 60 mph, my own country England have two Mark Wood and Joffrey Archer who have both reached 95 mph. They were right about the 5 sixes, never been done in women's cricket, nor likely to be. I will comment on the story in general soon.

Another epic. FYI in Australia the hospital ER is called Emergency Department or ED,

I enjoyed it would have love a pt 2. How they handle coming out to the team, her parents rematch with the team.

The love or magnetism of young open minded innocents is very special and feeling loved again is extraordinary if this is balanced ….. and the ignition point, betrayal lies are hitting hard and the hurt and a broken soul is hard to repair ….. im sure this happened in the past, in the here & now and will be happen

Lovely tale

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝✨☘️