All Comments on 'Brad Finally Gets There'

thanks i really love your happy endings more than the "wonder where we go from here" ones.

"You are the only boy I'd ever been with" - As he said, she had the opportunities during their breakups, it's not his fault that she didn't take advantage of them.

Has she done anyone while he's been away?

I'm SO happy that he didn't go back to Susan!

JPB's stories have matured over the years. He now creates characters worth caring for. Glad Brad didn't go back to Susan or wimp out with any of the other undeserving women. Need to keep an eye on Shelly as she wasn't honest with him in the beginning but at least she didn't accept his proposal under false pretenses.

not one female in this shit story i would not like to see dead by a baseball bat to the head.

Not one good female, no women, just sluts that cheat or are just bad humans. let her tell her side really? JPB have you not read this story? So the slut who was married fucking around is the best choice?

Good story. I have a request: could you write one about a more mature couple?

You still married a cheating slut .Shelly cheated on Randy the whole time he was in prison!!! So what was the point of shiting on your girlfriend she was no different then Shelly but she was sorry and learned her lesson. I would bet Shelly will have no problem cheating on this husband. Welcome back thanks for the read!

when JPB offers a story for our enjoyment.

Thank you Bob, and thank you for giving the finishing touch at the end. I realize it isn't always your style, but it really adds to the fun for a lot of us story when you do!

Nothing to complain about with the story and lots I liked. I liked that he ended up with Shelly. I liked that he rolled with the punches in his life in a very pragmatic way. He didn't rail or whine, he expressed himself and moved on.

You have already been told this, but I will reiterate; you have a very dark experience with woman folk and it shows in the amount of cheating by the ladies in your stories. I have been married to the same gal for 37 years and as far as I know, we have been faithful. My parents were the same. Same for my sisters and brothers. If I had experienced half the cheating your characters go through I think I would be permanently put off of marriage! On the other hand, your life has made you a remarkable writer.

Great story. Five easy stars.

I like some of the characters you've created, and the writing is top notch, but this plot is such a muddled mess, I don't know what to make of it. There are so many extraneous subplots and so many characters introduced in three pages that it was difficult to keep track of who was doing what and why.

If you introduce a character or mention some detail in a story, there should be some purpose for it. How many different women did the protagonist date in this short story? I lost count. If the point is to show us the journey toward his ultimate happy destination, then it's only necessary to show us the people and interactions that contributed to that destination. All of the dancing with women who were ultimately unimportant (like the Navy guy's wife), the threesome with Shelly's friends, the handjob in the parking lot, etc., etc., are all superfluous to the main plot of this story.

A little editorial discretion would have greatly helped to turn this rough raw mineral into a gem. Thanks for the time and effort.

Thanks for the ending. I enjoy your stories because they are stories and not mindless drivel to fill around sex scenes

Shelly told her husband that she would not be celibate while he was in prison for years. She would wait for him to get out and resume their marriage, but would be in FWB relationships while he was in. She didn't cheat and was not dishonest. He accepted the situation he had created.

The problem wasn't the have sex while he was in prison, the problem was his inability to deal with authority.

He rejected someone who cheated on him once and seemed to genuinely regret it. Whilst he himself had little loyalty to her while they were on 'a break' but still refused to take her back.

Then he married someone who cheated on her husband with many different men and also lied to him.

Strange logic for a not very likeable character.

You flesh out your characters well, not sure what swingerjoe is complaining about. "This story has too many people" is only a valid complaint if the background people get in the way of the storyline- not an issue here.

This is a narrative of a guys love life, it works. Thanks.

(I do have one nit to pick - you didn't need to break the 4th wall to preface your epilogue/happy ever after.)

@francis_toliver Re: "Bull" - Thanks, I was going to say the same thing!

@Anonymous Re: "Mmm 3*" - As far as Shelly cheating on her husband, see francis_toliver's reply: She told him upfront what she was going to do. She COULD have dumped him while he was in prison! She didn't until he fucked up, blew parole and added to his sentence. As far as he and Susan goes, when HE messed around it was while they were on break, she COULD have done the same, no harm/no foul!

I like virtually all your stories- they are always well paced and usually a fun ride. I've never figured out all the "keep sampling girls till one sticks" philosophy, so I don't get stories like this on that level. I'm kind of a romance cheerleader- I root for each fling and am sad when it ends, though in most JPB stories the splits are pretty perfunctory. That's okay, my favorite stories list is chock full of JPB stories.

That was Joe's shot at Randi. He's so jealous it eats him alive every day. Since she edited the story, he had to get in his shot at her editing here, since she won't allow his douchebaggery on her stories. Typical. Great story, Mr. Bob. Full marks from me.

I would have been reasonably happy if you had ended it where you wanted to end it. Lots of books end with that 'possibility' ending. I didn't need to get all the details. She clearly had ended things with Randy.

That being said, I think you made more readers happy by doing it how you did it. Frankly, one sentence of 'Best Decision I ever made' would have been enough.

As far as Swinger Joe goes...he has a point. I kind of groove on that free wheeling style of his weirdly meandering relationship life. But I can see where it isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Regarding the 'She is a cheating slut' crowd. Meh. Randy broke his marriage. He didn't do it by sticking his cock into anyone, but he still broke it. She offered him a way to super glue it back together...and he didn't do it.

So her rationale. If she is a pretty good gal, I'd buy her story. She seemed to be pretty good, though her lack of upset at his visit to Threesome Land would give me a bit of pause.

But Bob likes a bit more...panache in his story relationships than I would accept. Still can't get over the frankly jaded reaction most of the his characters have to being asked for a threesome, fucking an old woman, fucking a girl's step mom, being a porn star, being a cuckold porn star...

Just amazingly imperturbable fellows, these JPB men. But that's Bob!

You are finally forgiven for 'Here We Go Again'. Sometimes, you have a bit of Randy inside of you, Bob. And I don't mean in that 'prison gay' way.

Thanks JPB for another enjoyable read! Always find your characters interesting, not necessarily likable but always entertaining. As always the pacing was excellent as well as the writing. Thank you again.

Killian

I liked this story - well paced, credible dialogue, and interesting. Unlike SwingerJoe, I didn't have any problem following the characters and sequence (maybe because it is morning and I'm not sleepy yet). Others didn't like the epilogue, but I did. Five star story.

Now that G.S.'s " The Chair " has made a cameo appearance in JPB story, maybe just maybe Blackrandl can sweetalk the irascible but talented JPB into doing a story based on " I Can Still Make Cheyenne ".

Full marks * * * * *

I feel like I know his basic ten or twelve characters intimately, especially Pauline French. This story flowed very well and I am sure Randi helped in that regard. I think my only problem is that JPB is so prolific, I can usually determine the way the story will go as soon as I determine which of the usual suspects is the protagonist. There's the cream pie lover, the guy that will screw married women, and my favorite, the guy that never screws a married woman intentionally, but sure does get tricked a lot into screwing them. The female lead will simply need more sex than the eight times a week the husband is managing and feel all is okay as long as hubby gets all he wants, or she will be faithful as a hound dog, or she will just want to sample some strange cock, or she simply needs a huge cock several times a week but truly loves her hubby. I read a lot of JPB and almost always get a well told tale, albeit a similar tale quite often.

It feels weird. Like being unclean, but in a way a shower can't fix.

That's intended as a joke.

Anyway, there seem to be too many extraneous characters that get in the way, causing the story to meander about as if directionless. Seems perhaps a bit more real that way, the way a person's real life does, but when you tell a story, you usually skip the parts that don't matter, because the story tells better that way, and because people get confused by the threads that lead no where.

The male lead seems a bit inconsistent in his thoughts on cheating; he isn't okay with being cheated on, obviously, but he's okay with helping someone else cheat? Or maybe not. Part of this is that the Shelly character is both cheating and not cheating, in that her husband is aware of what she's doing, but we don't know if he's approving of it. Beyond that, I became confused while reading as it seemed like when Gail was making the 3 pm date, she had to go because she needed to discuss wedding information with her fiance, which she didn't have so it must've been another character. Probably a bit character that doesn't come up again.

I did enjoy the story, but the extra characters and the confusion kept pulling me out of it.

That is the same conclusion I came to. It seems our in house author has some really personal issues he should work out. I'm not one to analyze every aspect of a story, why, who, where, when, isn't my concern. I let the authors write the story and I either enjoy the information provided or not. What difference does it make? All the huffing won't change one word. It's nice to read one of your stories that actually has an ending. 4*

Thanks for the story. I enjoyed it as always.

I did have a variant impression of Joe's. Specifically, it wasn't # of characters, but the number of women who were explicitly 'not up for marrying', whatever their reasons. I suppose typing this, that was your premise for relationship troubles in this story instead of cheating per se.

My "major" complaint, you live in Colorado, surely you know it's "Canon City" (with a tilde over the middle N), not "Canyon City"? Even Google, search for "Canyon City", the entire first page is hits on "Canon City". Otherwise I appreciated all the minor details about the southern Front Range you included, and that they were correct. Count me also among those who enjoyed all the extraneous characters and similar details.

A minor complaint, I wish you'd given some indication of where Brad's home town was located. Six hundred miles puts it a bit past Kansas City, in the vicinity of Omaha, somewhere in Utah, or other places. My vote is for Missouri.

I prefer your original ending without the lengthy epilogue. I might have added one sentence:

"I stepped aside and let her in.

"Six years later our son and daughter are looking forward to their new sibling."

[SB ]

His characters and his story -- so they can do or be whatever he wants.

That said, the Shelley that Brad was screwing in Colorado seems to be a serious longshot at staying faithful. 1) She really, really likes sex. So much she won't even pretend to abstain while hubby is in the joint. That fact alone means that she is at risk of cheating when her new marriage hits the inevitable rocky times, especially after they've been married 7 or more years and her interest in hubby declines. Married women still love the idea of having sex, but their interest in having it with their husbands drops consistently the longer they have been married. Given her past, big chance she cheats eventually.

2) Add that she was seriously deceitful about being married. Huge red flag. Means she was quite willing to be dishonest to protect her own desires, even if it meant leading Brad on and setting him up for pain. Especially after he asks her to marry and she fails to come clean. Not telling him the truth then was incredibly selfish and shameful. She knows Brad loves her and wants to marry her, yet she has no problem living a lie with Brad and planning to dump him when hubby gets home. That's just ugly. These are not the actions or attitudes of a morally decent person. Shelley was using him, dishonest with him, and planning to screw him over when the time came.

3) The threesome, her reaction to it, and the statements of her friends about how very casual all of them were about sex. Shelley and her friends obviously do not put a lot of importance on fidelity.

Add it all up and, as described, her character is likely to cheat down the road. Probably wouldn't even think it was a big deal.

But it seems to me that ending the story when Shelly showed up at the door would have been a very satisfying way to do it. Here's to letting JPB write the stories the way he wants to write them

I've read almost all of your work. I liked the ending on this one, but it could have ended where it was intended. I say let the imagination run wild with what may have happened! Also leaves a back door in case you ever want to revisit the story, that's my opinion. Everyone can keep the 2 cents.

Your best bet would have gone back to Susan . She learned a valuable lesson. And really loved you.. Shelly was a liar and cheater still married to that jail bird. So Brad didn't follow his own advice as you wrote it. I don't agree on this ending .

Nicely done JPB tale.

Now the tacked on ending did feel a bit out of place in a JPB tale, however, that out of place feeling was definitely appreciated.

Much appreciated.

Who are you and what have you done with Bob. I was under the impression, you didn't care what the reader thought and simply wrote for your own enjoyment. So you do read the comments. For the record the original ending was fine, but either way I gave you 5*.

JB

Hi JPB & BlackRandi of course

Both you guys are really fine writers both with completely different styles and one editing the other.. well.. read the comments it doesn't quite work out!

A good editor HAS to be totally impartial and simply concentrate on story content and direction; let alone character development.

Your characters are weak and thus the story suffered. The story-line has also been mainly covered elsewhere with better effect.

VBR

19pvc44

You know, there were a lot of people and many relationships and lots of FWB, but it was a decent read. Sometimes tales get convoluted when many are involved but this worked out well. With a happy ending. Way to go JPB and BR1958. Hmm... same age as me.

Too long, and a bit too involved, but a nice pleasant "read" Nothing really erotic, but, then, "romance" is about feelings, in addition to sex.

Great that u listened to feedback. Thanks for doing that. I always liked your stories, but wanted them finsihed.

JPB most likely knows that it is Canon (it's Spanish) City where the main prison in CO is, but BR does not and changed it during the edit.

But agree with the Rest you leave too many stories hanging. But I still read them lol. as for 2 authors working together. I do not see a Problem.

I do not know the difference between Canon City and Canyon City. I apologize, Bob. My geography let you down. I've only been skiing and elk hunting there, and know little of the geography except it's beautiful. Still, in spite of my blunder, great story and a great job. Great characters and a wonderfully detailed story of an American life. Almost an adult Norman Rockwell slice of Americana. Five stars from me.

@LSD, I think if it's a country song and you can dance to it, Bob will get around to it. Dude knows a lot about western dance!

Man, you USED to be a good (erotic) writer. Now you must be trying out your skills to write a novel. This is a site for SEX stories, not English Lit 101

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Bob,

Good effort. I will say I am in agreement with those who want to see resolution to a story. As per this story, I would.ve given Sue another chance, but that's just me.

Luvyurstuff...

Matt

I think it is a good, interesting story that is told quite well.

Standard JPB plot: wimpy guy and bitch girlfriend, on-off relationship, bla bla bla, the whole fucking world cheats on wimpy guy, more useless bla bla bla... it ALWAYS ends with wimpy guy forgiving and marrying some cheating whore.

Very good story after weeks of nothing but crap. Thank you for your work! I have read most of your 789 stories over the years and wasn't sure how this would end. I think you have written every kind of LW story conceivable. I liked the author's note; it made the story better. A case could have been made for Susan, he loved her as a kid. She was young but chose to cheat with a scum bag rather than meet her fiancee's family. She showed her true character.

This was an interesting well written story. Thanks again.

reasonable man

This is one of your best stories, JPB. I love it that you provided an ending. I love to read your longer stories. This is one of your best.

Joining a truly legendary writing like you, and the best editor on the site (in spite of the city name thing) was a marriage made in heaven. I don't know if it was your idea or hers, but it sure worked. I gave this five stars.

I certainly get why he could get with Shelly. She hung in there with Randy until he fucked it up so bad that she threw that dead weight overboard. He fucked up and went to prison, not her. She told him her conditions for staying married, and he fucked that up too. Just a wonderfully written story. I like her kind of loyalty. Randy fucked up, and there were consequences.

Great story. That's all that needs to be said.

Good storytelling, good characters, good writing, good editing, good ending. What's not to love? Best story in a while. This deserves to be 4.50 or better.

Her husband has been away for quite a while, it's not clear how long, but if he still has a year and a half to go for early parole it's probably been a couple of years or more. As for her lying to Brad, they're not in a relationship, she's not really looking for one, and she's already lost several dates by being truthful. Don't forget that he was quite willing to use her till her husband was released! Yes, their circle of friends are free spirits sexually, but for the most part it seems to be above board.

Thanks, I enjoyed every bit of it.

Good story, very entertaining. Hope your prolific mind keeps creating more stories. You were right, you could have finished the story when you intended, it would have been OK. They are alive and in life everything changes especially people, and tomorrow she can be unfaithful, or he can, or both can, or neither would. It doesn't matter at least to me. Many times I finish the stories the way I'd like. No doubt he would have gotten married. He's the marrying kind, and what marriage is not truly totally and completely happy? None.

I do like it better with an ending to it.

Harline caught me by surprise, since she said that Billy was long gone. Shelly returning wasn't unexpécted but nicely explained.

And worth all of the 5*s, too.

...However, poor grammar made it worse. A score of four dropped to two. It is so easy to fix, let me give an example. I know this only because my editor, who taught college writing classes for forty years, banged it into my dense head over the past few years.

"Lina and I had gone to school together and we had dated a couple of times during one of my breakups with Susan and her breakup with her longtime boyfriend, Billy Holbrook."

How about this instead:

"Lina and I attended school together and dated a couple of times during one of my breakups with Susan, and Lina's breakup with longtime boyfriend, Billy Holbrook."

See how much better it rolls off the tongue? The easier you make a story to read, the more your readers will enjoy it. The stories you write are terribly entertaining, make them read smoother.

Drop every single solitary 'had' and either convert it to a contraction of dump it all together. A recent story I wrote was 108,000 words. When it was ready for publication, the word 'had' appeared three times.

Drop 99% of 'that.' That is not needed. Reword it so it isn't required. The same thing with just. It's 'just' needed perhaps 98% of the time. First, however, drop 'had' and 'that.'

@JPB saved the day...This is a good story, not one of his best, but a good read and he didd well in putting an end in it. Why? because not knowing the details about how had she decided to finally accept his marriage proposal...4*

Thanks for sharing!!

I have been reading JPB for years and never really liked them that much - no endings. This one is great. Please keep writing, with an ending, of course.

Jeez, anon, you must be as jealous of Randi as I am! Not to mention all of the others here who agreed with me about the poor editorial decisions in this story. Kimi, sweetie, I know it's difficult for you to accept any criticism of you or the members of your high school cafeteria table as anything more than honest criticism. At some point, you have to grow up. You claim to be a grown woman. Act like it.

This is a good, interesting, well-written story that is unfortunately plagued with too many characters and too much superfluous information that is irrelevant to the plot. There is nothing wrong with that. I've yet to read a perfect story -- here or anywhere. It's more than fine for what it is. You don't have to take everything so personally.

Randi is a professional writer. She's a PhD and a full-time teacher. She coaches two athletic teams. She skis and hunts in the mountains of Colorado in her spare time. She seemingly edits every other story on this site. And she organizes Legends Day events. So she let this one story slip through the editorial cracks. So what? It's still better than 99% of what is posted here. Kudos to her, and kudos to JPB. As Javmor recently stated (more eloquently than I could), it's not as if we're in a competition. There is plenty of room here for all of us.

You marked it down from a 4 to a 2 because he used the word "had?" Your fix was worse than the original sentence. The sentence was Brad recounting his history to the reader in a casual style. Your. fix was stiff and not an improvement. Let's see your stories and we will fix them for you. JPB has nearly 800 where are your's?

You have always been a great writer. I have several stories you wrote as favorites. Not ending them has been my only complaint. Thank you for your work, and thank you for listening!!! 5*

Considering most of the drivel we've been getting in this category, this was worth six stars.

Pretty good story. Four stars.

Oddly, I thought the extended finish let all the air out of the story - it doesn't have the air of potential chaos (and I mean CHAOS) that lies at the base of all of the JPB stories I've ever read.

But, I'm an odd duck. HappilyEverAfter seems cliche to me.

Green-something

(i remember suggesting reify as a word for the commentariat sometime back... perhaps what I meant is the tendency for some here to require their stories validate their world view... and for that, you need HappilyEverAfter in the mode of the readers' world view. I was happy enough with JPB's "unfinished" stories.)

Especially swingerjoe and the idiot whose big complaint was "had." This was a great story and some of the best editing I've seen. Two pro's at work.

With a lot of the garbage we seem to see here lately it is a pleasure to see you writing again. I for one perfer all the stories have an ending. As always .. thanks for the story and hope to see your next story. 5*

came here for pauline french.

was not disappointed.

thank you!

I LIKED IT. PRIORITIES/PRIORITIES.

Thanks for the read, Bob. It was fun.

To all the people saying he should have gone back to Susan because she learned her lesson...she may have said she was sorry, but she didn't seem to even be able to understand that she had actually done something wrong. Her apology was lip service, and not the good kind.

Cog

Should be called "Brad's Fuckalogue." With the entire female population of Castle Rock throwing themselves at him, why would he give a shit about Susan. I gave up after two pages, with is the same amount of stars for this story.

Finally there is an ending!!!!

this was a FANTASTIC story ...

then the RAAC ending happened .

This is an erotic site. Some writers/reviewers seem to think that so long as we deal with adult topics (i.e., cheating, retribution, promiscuity, violence, non-forgiveness, sexually-based psychological mumbo-jumbo) that it has got to be erotic.

Sorry to be the juvenile in the room, but if my mind and body don't react to your story, it's not erotic.

Doesn't matter who did your editing--not her fault, but I dislike her on principle anyway, because I don't care for cabals of unobjective, psychologically stagnant wannabes colluding to influence others' perceptions and therefore, manipulate their scoring evaluations. I do appreciate when one of them expresses an original--and therefore, independent--thought. Pretty rare, though.

However, this story is far from interesting or original. You should have just pulled out your high school yearbook and told us, "Did her, did her, did her, did her," etc. It would have saved time, carried just as much drama, and involved us readers just as much emotionally.

I do give you *** for your solid mechanics and story progression (probably Randi's contributions). It just isn't interesting. Looks like Randi dressed up a pig for nothing.

Not necessarily your best work, but how can I not give 5* to the one where the indomitable Ms. French is a young lady of virtue!!

JPB is something like the 40th most viewed author on the whole site. This is one of his most unusual and interesting stories. Huge respect and huge enjoyment.

Combine that with a real heavyweight editing job by Randi and you have one very good story. 5***** effort, all the way around. Someday, I would like to see Pauline French wind up with the roses.

I miss a lot of the "retired" or passed on good writers in loving wifes. I do like a mix of LW stories and endings. Not many new good ones in the past year. Hope it changes for the better. Thanks for ending one. LOL.

I stepped aside and let her in!! (Was a great ending). Thanks for sharing.

"Cabals?" Really? "I don't care for cabals of unobjective, psychologically stagnant wannabes colluding to influence others' perceptions and therefore, manipulate their scoring evaluations?" Are you sure you aren't Lovecraft or TXRad with all this shit about "cabals?"

You read too many conspiracy theory rags, man. Who will it be next? The Illuminati? The worldwide league of rodents? You seriously need to get a grip, before you leave the rest of us catatonic with boredom.

Pure entertainment, JPB. Thanks for this.

The real world is complicated, people screw up, life interferes with our plans, to cope we move on. It isn't easy. That's what makes a good story. Not having everything resolved is what happens, the day ends but we have to get up the next morning.

Thanks JPB for letting us fill in the gaps for ourselves.

btw those who complain about not providing an ending are usually the same anons who think 3 pages is too long and they didn't achieve self satisfaction. In other words your thoughtful conclusion didn't give Them a "happy ending".

oh well

It's odd that he can accept a married lady that lied to him as a wife but could not forgive susan. He is always going to wonder what if?

Susan made a promise, then broke it, for a reason that would always be hanging out there, her curiosity. Shelly had made no vow, and she lied to him not to deceive him, but so she could keep him. Susan lied to him so she could fuck around behind his back. And Susan sounds like she's only sorry that she got caught.

Also, Susan is too stupid to be a good wife and partner. Susan cheating on Brad to satisfy her curiosity is a foundational character flaw that Brad must have overlooked or accepted when he decided to marry her. I'm sure Susan got all the cock she wanted after Brad left, so her curiosity should be satisfied by now. So rather than claim curiosity as her excuse for cheating she should have claimed last minute marriage jitters, or the other guy tricked her, or some excuse that would convince Brad she made one mistake and is so grateful that Brad stopped her before she fucked the predator. Yeah, a manipulative lie. But Brad fell in love with a stupid lying Susan, so it would be consistent and just if Susan wiggled out of her cheating with one more convincing lie. Shelly appears to be the better woman, who lied only to keep him, not betray him.

A good plot and a fun read. Thanks.

And thanks for allowing anonymous comments. You and the Honey Badger share a character trait that the thinner skinned writers might want to adopt.

An author, at last! Such a breath of fresh air compared to some much of recent times.

@Rw43 - As, I believe, a member of this "cabal" you speak of, I can state categorically that there is no collusion! Your extrapolation of several people having similar tastes in stories into some sort of sinister plot is ludicrous. I don't think that anybody here "influences perceptions and therefore manipulate their scoring evaluations." Just look at the push back on opinions!

@Anonymous Re: Randi editing - As someone who has used Randi's editing, has done some editing myself, and is a notorious nit-picker, I have to dispute the "unbelievable" number of errors comment. Even when not editing errors often "jump" out at me. I'm sure there were some, but I honestly can't recall any at the moment, so there couldn't have been THAT many!

@Anonymous Re: "A nice story" - Susan claimed "curiosity" as an excuse because AT THE TIME she cheated she hadn't had anyone else.

JPB + BR1958 = Greatness !!!

Lit's posting times for new stories has started jumping all over the place . When I checked at the usual time ( 1:30 ish E.S.T.) this story wasn't up . So I missed it until now , but I still loved it .

Yes , put me down for the finishing the stories camp . Lol .

Not much I can add that's not been said , so just thank you both for the wonderful story !

5 *'s from me !

P.S. looking forward to Firecracker Day !!!!

Thank you for extending the conclusion.

Let's see Brad breaks up with Susan because she decides to try another guys before she marries Brad (who is already fucking several girls during his on again off again relationship with Susan). Brad discovers Susan and another guys (beats him up badly) and breaks up with Susan (and goes into hiding). During Brads time away he continues fucking whatever is available including a married lady Shelly. After he finds out that Shelly is married is continues fucking her until his father has a stroke and he has to move back home. He continues to ignore Susan because she can't be trusted BUT - He Marries Shelly when she comes to him and lives happily ever after. Answer this one question - WHY would he trust Shelly the lady that fucked whoever was available while her husband was in jail? Brad can trust Shelly but not Susan? I think that Brad is just another insecure asshole just like our President Trump!

Liz & Bev,So Why Not Susan & Shelly?!

What a self-righteous,sanctimonious blowhard!He dips the wick all over town and won't ever forgive a girl he'd been in love with since high school 'cause she's making out with another guy? Ass-wipe! He continues to fuck Shelly even after he found out that she's married so,tell me,how is he any better than Susan?! (Who never did actually fuck/suck ANY other man,ever!)

He had no problem doing a threesome with his girlfriend's two "friends" while she was away so why not end up married to Shelly AND Susan?! The guy's a dick-wad and the story should have ended with him buying the farm in a fiery car wreck!

The girl that he won't forgive had his engagement ring on her finger. I guess that doesn't mean squat to you.

"How can you say that Brad and Shelley were not in a relationship? He sure thought so -- he asked her to marry him! Just because she is married to someone else and deceiving Brad about it doesn't negate that they are definitely in a relationship. She's a liar and a sleaze.

Any man concerned that his wife might cheat on him would be crazy to marry Shelley. She just has way, way too many red flags. If Susan bothered him such that he couldn't see being with her, Shelley just makes no damn sense. Of the two, Susan would be less likely to cheat in the future.

Personally, I wouldn't touch either one of them again. But accepting the premise of he story and the stated motivation of the protagonist, his choice seems rationally inconsistent."

Okay, you are correct, I misspoke when I said that Brad and Shelley weren't in a relationship, they were.

I stand by the rest of my comment. As far as we know, her husband was aware, and at least grudgingly okay with her not being celibate.

Was she wrong not to tell Brad that she was married? Of course! But she had an explanation that worked for him, and ultimately he's the only one that matters.

Meanwhile, there was a world of difference between what Susan did and what Shelley did. Susan was ENGAGED to Brad and CHEATED on him. Shelley lied to him, but with an explanation that he could accept. Yes, she cheated on her husband, but as far as we are told, with some sort of permission.

When he was dipping "the wick all over town" he was a free agent.

The "girl he'd been in love with since high school" was "making out with another guy." Murphy's hand was moving toward her pussy, we'll never no how far the "making out" would have gone.

"He continues to fuck Shelly even after he found out that she's married" - Yes, and he believed that she had a pass. Susan did NOT have a pass!

"He had no problem doing a threesome with his girlfriend's two "friends" while she was away" because she had lied to him so he considered himself a free agent.

Why not end up married to Shelly AND Susan?! - First, because he apparently didn't want to, second, who says that they would be up for it? Shelley seems up for it for play-time, don't know how she'd feel about full-time! Susan feels bad enough to maybe do it to start with, but who knows how long she would last!

"The guy's a dick-wad and the story should have ended with him buying the farm in a fiery car wreck!" - You're certainly entitled to your opinion.

Bob rules!! How I missed Pauline French.

Thank you for the ending!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

This is the best story, hands down, of the last month. Unless something special comes along, it's probably the best we'll see until the next Legends thing. This would have fit right in with the first group. It's that good. JPB is a very talented writer. This is what he does best, better than anyone else.

I always found his mechanical writing problems distracting. There are none in this story. It was smooth and flawless. The guy who complained about "all the mistakes," was full of shit. I didn't find any. No one is perfect, but I had not one problem following the characters, loved the journey JPB took us on, and the great surprise ending. I thought he was done with Shelly. Those who complained about that must not have much going on upstairs. Something's wrong with them, not the story.

BR has mad editing skills. I have no idea how she finds the time to do what she does, either, but adding her editing to JPB's great storytelling just made this nearly perfect as far as I'm concerned. Thank you, JPB. I echo DFWBeast's comment. Can we have another one, please?

Here is a short list of the characters in this story:

Sarah

Jackson Murphy

Emma

Brad

Susan

Aunt Mary

Uncle Louie

Shelly

Bev

Liz

Randy Steele

Angie

Stan

Larry

Carl

Paula

Grace

Becky

Glen

Chuck

Mike

Francine

Wendell Carson

Marv Pallister

Gail Looms

Marsha Moss

Maria Waterman

Ken Baft

Chad Reese

Charlie

Pauline French

Norm Miller

Paul Stacks

Harlina Collins

Billy Holbrook

How on earth the author kept all of those names straight is a fucking miracle.

Try growing a brain.

Having some attention withdrawals.

Yes, there are a lot of named characters, but there's only 7-10 you need to keep track of, and not at the same time either! So what's the big deal that he named the bartender or the employees or whatever?

Characters you have to worry about:

Brad

Susan

Sarah

Jackson Murphy

Shelly

Bev

Liz

Characters you barely have to worry about:

Emma - Mom

Dad

Angie

Characters you DON'T have to worry about:

Aunt Mary

Uncle Louie

Randy Steele

Stan

Larry

Carl

Paula

Grace

Paula

Becky

Glen

Chuck

Mike

Francine

Wendell Carson

Marv Pallister

Gail Looms

Marsha Moss

Maria Waterman

Ken Baft

Chad Reese

Charlie

Andria (you forgot her!)

Molly (her too!)

Pauline French

Norm Miller

Paul Stacks

Harlina Collins

Billy Holbrook

You are a cheeky ba$tard. i know this was just another of your stories, but there was a moment where i felt this was a honest retelling of the events of your life.

So take that you miserable prick for making me feel emotion.

the covfefe!

I didn't have any problems following the cast.. Your attention to detail must be limited. Not to bad a read. Better than most written lately. Thanks.

29 characters we don't have to remember, but we don't know that, especially considering the meandering nature of the plot. We might think we need to remember some of them, because our intrepid hero might wander their direction again sometime. In such a randomized existence, anyone else whose life is equally random becomes a viable--though improbable--candidate to be the one who finally helps Brad get it right.

In fact, why stop at 29? Just include the whole senior class from your yearbook! Oh yeah, said that already. But you never finished telling us all the ones you DIDN'T do, so I'm waiting for the next nonerotic story about all the characters who don't really matter....

Nice story but not really erotic

Lotta mixed messages here . . . Illegal violence is okay against people you don't like. A fine upstanding woman lies to protect her son. Police are dumb (it never occurs to them a fine upstanding citizen might lie if family is involved). It's okay to sleep around wantonly if your husband's not there (not the mutually understood occasional relief sex, but the actual development of deep relationships . . . emotional as well as physical affairs). It's okay to lie about it.

Nobody in this story can be trusted. Shelly, who has no problems lying, sleeping around, and forming long-term, meaningful relationships while her husband is in prison, is somehow more trustworthy than Susan, who screwed up once, and was burned so badly she probably never would again.

Oh well, he deserves the likelihood that one or more of his children aren't biologically his, and that Shelly probably has multiple FWB on the side. Meanwhile Susan, who may end up being the only one in that town who learns anything from the past, will more likely end up being a loyal wife and mother in a stable, monogamous relationship . . . with any luck, outside that community . . .

Of course, since the main character is willing to assault someone who didn't make any promises to him, no doubt he'll eventually end up in prison after assaulting someone Shelly is messing around with . . . and that cycle will continue. Sad . . . small . . . . not too bright community . . .

Still, fun to read, though ultimately tragic.

Same old same old! Content never changes, man finds girl, girl cheats, man feels wounded, leaves girl. Boring! Isn't this supposed to be an erotic story site. Why all these stories and no sex. 1star