All Comments on 'Breakfast at Manny's'

I also love the nod to TAL. I think I recognize the episode you're referring to.

That said, this seemed like two (or maybe even three) partial ideas hammered together to make a story. (For the record, I got the same feeling from Sue Grafton's F is for Fugitive.) It didn't seem to flow as easily as I might have expected. Of course, that could have been the desired effect.

Still, a new FM story is a nice way to start a Friday.

Love your writing, please keep going.

Finish the story!

Nicely thought out.

In some ways I liked it. We have to here a guy who is so pathetically stupid.... so obtuse ...so unaware of his own existence and surroundings that he decides to propose to the woman of his dreams... While she is reading the editorial section?

um really? Imagine if she had said yes. Think about what their anniversary memories be like... " remember sear.. when you propose to me? I was reading the editorial section of the New York Times about how this person believed Sarah Palin was the next messiah..."

Not only does she turned him down... But she's actually FUCKING some other guy and he did not even know about that!?

YEAH this guy is brilliant and he is a real keeper ..... LOL.

Then he falls in love with this woman... And they both have the best sex of their lives each and every time they hook up... And they have no idea how to get in touch with each other?

Like I said this story is a glorification of stupid

In some ways I liked it. We have to here a guy who is so pathetically stupid.... so obtuse ...so unaware of his own existence and surroundings that he decides to propose to the woman of his dreams... While she is reading the editorial section?

um really? Imagine if she had said yes. Think about what their anniversary memories be like... " remember sear.. when you propose to me? I was reading the editorial section of the New York Times about how this person believed Sarah Palin was the next messiah..."

Not only does she turned him down... But she's actually FUCKING some other guy and he did not even know about that!?

YEAH this guy is brilliant and he is a real keeper ..... LOL.

Then he falls in love with this woman... And they both have the best sex of their lives each and every time they hook up... And they have no idea how to get in touch with each other?

Like I said this story is a glorification of stupid

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my feelings, too. Yeah, it's well done, but a well done story about a schmuck is still a story about a schmuck.

first girlfriend dumped him pretty hard..then finding love and never getting her name and address. thats life.. some good some bad.fraANCIS this was a good one with no resolution..

What an well written, amusing story, starting with an interesting premise to a surprise conclusion. And, to top it off, the protagonist is punished in the end, when he finds himself once again alone and unhappy. That will teach him to eat granola!

Harry's absolutely right that this is a story about our guy being stupid. No doubt about it, but isn't that why it's a great story? If our author consistently wrote stories about clever people doing boring everyday shit, would you bother looking at his tales when they appear on Lit? Not me...

Nicely structured and certainly leaves you up in the air wondering at the end· It reminds me of stories from the first 30 years of the last century. TU FM

Well written story but jumping jehoshaphat the man was a twit.

A story with no ending but a question mark. All in all a silly tale with a weak main character that causes most all his problems.

Than the same old situations that are posted in this section 99% of the time. Wasn't that good a story but was a breath of fresh air at least.

and extremely believable. A well-written story about realistic characters.

Someone who grew up in nyc would not do what he did in the restaurant,just too risky.In some ways this reminded me of an O Henry story,with the twist at the end showing how futile life can be.Of course it does leave us wondering what happens.does our narrator jacob find deirdre,or was she found out by her hubby,called anon,who got the room in the plaza wired for hd video,streamed it to the net,sent copies to her family,sued jacob for alienation of affection,gave the wife to a street gang who gang banged her,making her lust for black guys,then sold her to a mexican brothel,from which she escaped,and found jacob at mannies,and though she had tatoos all over her body,showed signs of major wear and tear,but he doesn't notice and moves her in......

Nice writing,francis,but how about a ms sarah special?

I tip my hat to your ability to captivate a reader. Well done.

Because you rarely disappoint. I'm between appointments, so for the last half hour I have been reading a most delightful tale. Thanks. 5 Stars, of course.

I'd say getting punched by the wrong guy for the right reasons (he defintely deseved it for knowingly fucking a married woman) is a little bit of Karma coming back on him! Well done Francis! 5*

But thoughtful. Enjoy your writing so wasn't put off by the ending, in fact, thought it was rather appropriate.

Anyway, back to your usual mini novella's - Please!

Thanks.

It sucks being him. Lol

Have I told you I hate unfinished stories...

Please!!

WTF?! This is 5th story I've read on this site that's either been boring or shitty--or worse ---both! I expected more from this author. The male character is a real fucking loser who lives in a fantasy world. His whore of a girlfriend dumped him for another guy--boo fucking hoo! Grow some balls & move on, instead he chooses to spend his time at a restaurant pretending to be someone he's not! He sleeps with a married whom he professes to love, but it's stupid as hell to fall in love with a whore & possibly risk the chance of marrying her & having her do what she did to her husband to you.. Just like his ex-girlfriend new man would be a moron to marry her knowing she can't be faithful--after all didn't her new man fuck her while she was living , fucking & sleeping with this loser that has way too much time on his hands where he can play make believe? Story blowed dude. You have it on loving wives but the male character isn't even married hell his whorish girlfriend dumped him.

Not so. If you think it's unfinished, then you've missed the point. It's done and well done! 5*s.

Thanks for your efforts I enjoyed the story.

Excellent irony, karma, Shakespearean duplicity, other big words. Very well written and attention-holding. As usual.

I isn't finished. Yes, Bob does this sometimes, and we let him slide. You , however, write masterpieces...and this one is only partially complete. Finish it and I will grade it.

But I didn't particularly like the main character. After having lived the heartbreak of being blindsided by his girlfriend, it seems he learned nothing. Plus missing from the equation are the people who the customers WERE supposed to be meeting. What happened to them? How is it that the situation didn't explode multiple times.

This was a low key story built in a quality manner...but it's like eggs. I don't like eggs. This story didn't do much for me, though it's better than a lot of the 'my wife fucked the football team' crap we see.

Oops.

You got the tone perfectly for NPR. Low key, subdued and...dare I say? Dull. The redeeming feature of this was the light Dom/Sub sex scenes, something that NPR is not exactly known for.

However, I have faith that NPR could make sex dull too.

Sadly, I only realized after I read this story that it was associated with NPR - liberal media. A complete waste of time. I'm sorry that I ever even looked at this lame story. YUCK! It's STUPID. It doesn't even resolve the story lines. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of your best.

Wonderfully told, as usual. Those complaining that it is unfinished have obviously missed the point of this tale. It is perfect as is.

Gosh, you don't have to figure out an ending, you can throw it to the reader and never be accountable for the story. A great job, if you can get it. Sort of like NPR...always leave it hanging.

Major league curveball thrown by popular author who by & large is 'a pleaser' in Saturday Evening Post- Reader's Digest tradition. The sex scenes were unconvincing like a housecat convinced of it's lionhood. No plucky, put upon leading character to shamelessly root for here.

FM is experimenting with narrators enemeshed with gray areas of morality. I'm utterly convinced he has little direct experience in this weeks territory which is problematic when writing in first person. Meow & yawn. Bravo for effort. Boo for credibility.

A tale not worthy of your talent, however. You turned the main character from an innocent victim to a cheating low-life. Too much thinking and not enough emotion.

getting involved with a married woman, playing child games with her, no wonder the first girlfriend left you.

This is a well-written story but I don't like Jacob, the main character/narrator. He personifies the joke: "How does a lawyer sleep?" "First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other." Jacob seems to enjoy deceiving the people he meets at Manny's, not really caring about those he hurts. Just like the abused child who is likely to be an abuser when he/she grows up, Jacob treats others like his girlfriend treated him.

He deserved the punch to his jaw -- he knew the woman (pseudo-named Deirdre) was married, knew seducing her was even more wrong than what the guy, Megan's new boyfriend, did to him, but he did it anyway. He tried to break up a marital relationship. Well, actions have consequences, Jacob! He's lucky the husband didn't shoot him! And it turned out hubby had the wrong guy! But Jacob was so used to pretending, instead of being truthful, he got caught in a mess and still failed to get back with "Deirdre," or whomever she really was.

Maybe the author was portraying New Yorkers as cold, phony, uncaring loners who lack morals and who live in a dreamworld. Certain stereotypes exist because there are elements of truth to them, and having grown up in New York, I can identify those characteristics with little effort. Not to say there are not good people in NYC, but there are many in that city who fit Jacob's profile, unfortunately. Does Jacob have even one friend? It would seem not, and it is just a matter of time before he will need a shrink -- hopefully, this lost soul will find himself then.

FrancisM, please continue! Let one of these people go to MizSarah for advice and let the famous lawyer lift the veil about all this: who is Deirdre, why has she disappeared, why was Mr. Sizemore convinced to have found the lover of his wife?

Good written story with a unique plot!

5*

how sick can you get

I guess we have to accept that some folk here weigh every tale through their personal value system - hence the rude and unwarranted commentary from the morals first crowd. That aside, this was a very well written, intriguing, unique and fast paced story.

I would like to read a sequel but I would prefer that the author leave us to wonder rather than produce an unworthy follow-up. Not that I think he would do that but I can't imagine how he could do this story justice. That's probably why he's writing and I'm reading!

Bill1104

Most times on loving wives, the author has a point, whether to write about the glories of a nymphomaniac wife who on a physical level needs constant sex and the husband, on a psychological level, needs to watch his wife have sex, , a cheating wife who deserves to be dumped, or the chronicles of marital melodrama full of pompous men, deranged women and stupid conclusions. This had none of that, but not really a point either. If it is a character study, then the character is sort of unlikable whose story doesn't engage me. The story is just there, like a boring article. A lot of people like it but must find the story interesting. I just found all kind of boring, stupid, and full of unlikable people.

A new take on unrequited love. Great story. Thank you so much.

But frustrating. It just seems like this story doesn't have a real ending.

This is like a cheap paperback pulp that one would find at a second-hand store; only that the last few pages are missing...

Seven months later, I was in Manny's and in walked "Diedre". I took her to my place, fucked her all day, and she never left. We lived happily ever after.

tom anon

would be absolutely disgusted with this "hero"!!!

The end - Oh wait -

Hmm what happened to our little Miss we never know for sure maybe hubby confronted her she rebelled and died right there - maybe not but she did not come back to him and he should be happy eventually.

She got bored enough to go looking for a stranger then found one and risked disease and assault to have her fun at her husband's expense and hers - now she is gone - be grateful - and watch how you play your damned game stupid.

Well written though and well though out thanks -

Weird but very entertaining read.

The chance meetings of people mistaken for others creates twists and tensions in . . . The Naked City

Creepy being inside the head of a sick man. Yuck. No wonder his girlfriend dumped him.

there is no ending. he played with people`s lives for what ever reason. In the

end he lost again at love. Deirdre,I hope you are happy where ever you

are and who you are with. good read

but when at berth the crew is unknown. TK U MLJ LV NV

So many questions. Why did his original girlfriend leave him? He never found out? Why did the first man approach him and what was the $500 going to be for? Was this just a one-off? Why did Marin assume he was the one having an affair with Mrs. Sizemore? And why didn't he press charges for getting slugged? Most attorneys would. And most importantly of all, why wouldn't he have pulled out Deirdre's Drivers License during their first meeting in the hotel? When she went to the bathroom to cleanup (which she absolutely would have done) he would have had plenty of time to write down her real name and address. Like I said, SO many questions.

who would not cheat with a married woman, I was pleased with the ending. Very well written.

(redundant I know) fucks with peoples lives. Fucks a married slut gets a slight comeuppance. The kind of guy you hope to see wallow in misery for a long time.

Having been a victim in my life of similar assholes to Jacob, my grief is for Deirdre's husband. Hopefully there are no children, cause that's always the worst case scenario. Coddled, entitled frat brats, trapped in the perpetual adolescence of wealth and privileged masculinity.

To all them 'born booted and spurred', the rest of us are their cattle. Condemned by our lowly status in this Corporate State as their prey. To these lordly ubermen, we are but pieces in their games of privilege and rank.

OMG! Criticizing our betters? I must be dirty commie scum. Well, if the sabot fits, I'll be proud to wear it.

And the prices we pay!

He made more than a couple of mistakes playing his deceptive game at the expense of others and now he pays - rightly so -

Yes, a good story that engaged the reader....... I enjoyed it for the most part but, as other readers have said there were too many holes left at the end of the story. I understand that suspense and 'open ends' are part of the story tellers craft, I just think that there were too many loose ends (it was all loose ends) to make it an homogenised tale. As I said, not a bad read though.

and smiling

A great story, that I must have read two or three times. But the quality of the writing is even better. Given the dearth of good stories lately, I find myself more and more reading the older ones. Maybe there really is a limit to the number of ways of telling the same story.

On one hand, I feel for his loss.

On the other hand, if he hadn't been messing with other people's lives this wouldn't have happened.

Title of comment says it all.

not worth a 2nd time around like the great tales are

2 star

so many questions without any answers.

so many possibilities, yet no resolution.

no satisfaction for anyone.

especially if it becomes too deep. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's a well-written tale, with enough depth and detail to make you feel for his loss (reluctantly, given what he's doing). On the other hand, BTB in this case refers to Burn The Bastard. Deliberately - and repeatedly - fucking and getting emotionally entangled with a married woman paints the target directly on him every bit as much as on her. We don't know what happened to her or her marriage, but from my perspective he got off very lightly.

In any event, the writing merited a 5, but I am reluctant to reward the subject matter with that high a score. I gave it a 4 because I couldn't trash the writing because of the subject matter.

Got to say, this time your story was like sitting in a very nice car that is completely out of gas. Everything looks nice but it goes nowhere. You had a beginning...you had something of a muddled middle....but no ending.

It's been a couple years since you submitted this. Any chance for some kind of closure?? This poor guy has been crapped on twice and then the curtain draws to a close. Jacob need something good to happen to him.

“I've been seeing someone else.” – What a FUCKING cunt! Just how long has she been “seeing someone else” to the point of walking out on the guy she’s been living with for TWO YEARS?!

And while she may be the one at fault, how he could sit there and not deck the asshole, even if he got his butt kicked is beyond me!

After he had been cheated on, you’d think he’d be a little more sensitive to enabling a cheater, no matter how compelling her reasons might be.

And this DOES cry out for FTDS!

It's difficult for me to sympathize with Jake. He takes cruel advantage of 'Deirdre's' marital issues, and tries to do the same thing to her husband that Megan's 'someone else' did to him. Poor 'Deirdre' is the only sympathetic character here for me, and she's rather weak. I hope she finally found both her passion and her peace, preferably with her "good, decent, and kind" husband.

Normally, like the rest of a class of readers on this site, I like to read stories about decent guys picking up the pieces and successfully moving on with their lives.

This was something different. It was a portrait, a compelling, disturbing portrait, apparently of a guy, but actually of a moment--that moment of loss, before you let go, when you are still willing and wishing and reaching for the destroyed reality that is receding at the speed of light. This guy is stuck in that awful moment, and the fact that he engineered it himself so that he can now never get out of it, never get over his earlier loss, the live-in girlfriend, as he pines for his anonymous paramour, is just brilliant.

This was tragic, poetic and poignant. Not the emotional experience I prefer, but one must recognize the genius of the art. Transcends the short story to achieve art.

Incredibly well done.

...nothing different here, although you denied us closure. I agree with those readers who seek to find closure of some sort, asking you to continue this story and ending it properly. You have got a wide spectrum of possibilities here - use them, please.

Left as it is this story does not satisfy. 4*

Well written, but: 1st - Why did he took advantage of a married woman? 2nd - Was she really married? Not let the readers know all this, made this story less interesting...3*

Inflicting the same pain on a third party that was once done to you ? What an asshole he was.

Well written story, but the sleaze got what he deserved.

As usual, FM has spun a great tale. Do you really only want to read stories that reflect the way you think that people should act? I want to be entertained, and I want to be prompted to think and consider what I might do in similar situations. Not to denigrate those authors behold don't exhibit the talent that FM does, but if you only want confirmation of how you think things ought to be, there are many inferior writers on this site that will slake your desires. Don't criticize FM for another of his intriguing offerings.

A fun read. Five stars.

Funny and imaginative.

From breakfast with nothing more exciting than a crossword, to mysterious breakfast meetings leading to sexual shenanigans.

A strange character and I would have liked more, but as a quirky slice of life it worked well.

5*

So you wanted to write a story about a loser? Of course, it is your right as writer. And It is mine a reader not to like it. COme one, the guy was not only clueless about his partner afair but he was about to propose her! Man! He had no idea, right about anything right? And then he involves into an emotional affair with a cheater? A cheated man bonding with a cheater? Sorry, I am not buying it, at least not in the way you told it. And he got attached to her and never asked her about her relationship? Never asked for a phone number or an email? I'm sorry. The guy is a true loser. Well written, but the story line didn't work for me.

Unusual Could be a one or a five depending. Would be interesting to have an ending written.

She-it man! FANTASTIC STORY FUCKED UP AT THE END"NO GOOD ENDING" LOVE YOU ALL! GREG OH 90 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

I agree with "Old Fart". Difficult to rate this story. The ending left me hanging. Ugh, I hope my rope breaks soon. BK

I had to give it 5 stars for its excellent plot and fine writing style. It reminds me of short stories I read long ago by Poe and O'Henry and other classics. Just superb!

rudderless protagonist, beaten on the rocks, beaches at a diner. sweet, bitter, ecstasy, agony: delicious.

Enjoyed it.

His first girlfriend dumps him and gets away with no consequences. Deirdre uses him and dumps him. This poor smuck needs a break and you left him hanging. Not good. Not good at all.

In the stories of FrancisMacomber....

I really enjoyed this twisted little tale! Jake's game of "play with the stranger" at his breakfast table took a turn or two that led him to agony and ecstasy -- but not in that order. One has to wonder whatever happened to the other folks that he was mistaken for.... ;-)

Well done indeed! Thanks!

a guy just can't can't win, no matter which side he plays for. Maybe it's karma carried over from a past life. Curious, but interesting, story. 4*

Francis Macomber stories are like Oklahoma weather -- very unlikable one day and something to bask in the next.

Some like "Abuse of Power" and "Ask Aunt Agatha" have that good feel. Others like "I May Be Dumb" make me wish I was not in that weather.

The "hero" of this story, toying with others' lives without regard to the consequences, reminds me of teenage pranksters, getting their jollies at others' expense, such as shifting or defacing a church. I guess if you have a twisted perversion to enjoy watching someone do that, you'd enjoy this story.

Very well written. Engages your interest. Don't know how to rate it.

Paul in Oklahoma

The story started in an odd place and had no real ending. What happened to him? Why did these people happen to seek someone there, at his table at Manny's?

There is almost no chance a lawyer wouldn't have checked out her purse when she was in the bathroom. Most men would have.

Except for that and the lousy ending it was a good read.

What's next?

You would think that a cheated on man would have the good sense to NOT cheat!!! He should have been beat to death...

This is not your typical story of adulterers and love. The protagonist is a tragic figure lost in a New York world of sinners!

No sympathy deserved all pain and Hope continued

Firm believer in semper Fi in service and private life

Johntwheels

Sinners en passant! Yes, they're all cheating cunts and cocks, every last one. Some cultures expect flagrant infidelity. The US hasn't evolved that far yet.

You managed to write a story about a man who was a pussy and an asshole at the same time!

How did Deirdre meet her original would be lover? Probably by internet. Wouldn't they have corresponded repeatedly until she was convinced he was worth risking a face to face meeting? So after meeting the wrong man on their first date, wouldn't either she or her date be in contact via the net? Wouldn't it become immediately apparent to her she met the wrong man when he asks her why she didn't show up?

The reader has to get over that implausible situation before the story can take any semblance of reality.

If he is a regular at Manny's,surely some of the people who sit with him are,and as as such would start to sit together.

Brilliant! I didn't see this one coming!

Exceptionally well-written story with a promising plot line that simply does not deliver. I understand the abstract comments about irony, Shakespearean tragedy and the like but it should have been a STORY! I was expecting either the ex girlfriend or her new man to pop-up any minute. I didn't expect or want a "Hallmark" ending but I wanted the tale to have an ending that somewhat completed the circle. Instead it was a grand disappointment. An exchange of Emails and/or phone numbers is as natural as breathing these days. It was vastly unreal for this not tyo have happened. As for the wife being the wrong one... THAT needed a line or two to suggest a reason, as I said earlier this attempt at a story simply does not deliver... 3*** but could have been much better wit h a little imagination.