All Comments on 'Brother Sister (Rewritten)'

Fabulous. I Kinda wanted a three way with Erica, but it’s good.

5*

Tc

Loved the improvements. Beautifully told. Thank you.

Magnificent. Just magnificent!

You've done a great job with this Nikki I love it but then I'm just an old romantic in terms of score five star. I'm glad you did the rewrite. Looking forward to your next offering.

Loved how you kept it between them, and how they grew together so lovingly. It was super hot and oh-so-sexy. They managed to keep it under wraps when needed, and both Matt and Bec were just naughty enough at the right times to keep it sizzling. Hands down 5!

Thank you Nikki, Loved this version. Would you consider writing more please? I would like to see them still together and working when Bec finishes college and they start making babies.

Introducing Erica without utilizing her seemed an odd choice

It would be interesting to see how the parents deal with learning of the brother-sister relationship, which might become necessary if Bec gets pregnant. I like how oral Bec is. My woman of many years is the same, or more so.

I don’t remember the original too much. This one was great. Much more exciting. Thanks for sharing.

@Comentaris82 I believed your nonsense comment and started to read... just to learn out, its not just between them.. You guys even read before you comment??

Why do i always believe the comment section.. So the sister fucks another guy / has a bf and the writer unfortunately displays their love making / fucking too detailed!! . if you dont like sharing, cheating, swinging, ntr.. don't read this !!

I really enjoy your work, Nikki. Please keep it coming.

Excellent story, and writing. The only thing that bothers me is that's I've heard, inbreeding may have dire consequences. But I don't think its a certainty so we can infer that it just didn't happen.

Great story and well written as usual. I was a bit disappointed when it ended without the anal sex that was hinted at through the story. Still 5 stars.

Other than not understanding why they didn't just say they were bf/gf once they were out of the parents house, instead of almost getting caught at the club good story

Thanks for chapter three, with more development for our heroes and their relationship.

Five for you

Out Fucking Standing story!

I vaguely remember reading the original over 10 years ago. This is much better imo. Also I kinda laughed at you mentioning the video store dating the story but honestly the thing that clearly marks that the story is set in the 00s is how easily Matt got a job straight out of uni haha

Amazing story, congratulations!

Not bad for rewrite, Kind of liked the original story though.

@nip

Have zero clue what you mean, and mine was a very generic comment. It seems you confused mine with someone else's.

Very well written. I really like your writing style, one of the best I have read on literotica.

I have just created my first story. I would love for you to read it and let me know your thoughts and critique.

(A Tale of Two Wives 001)

granoldad

Nice story! It would have been interesting if they had a threesome. Maybe another chapter? I mean their parents would have to be suspect after he graduated and bro/sis still living together never either of them bringing anyone else home.

Bravo 👏👏👏

I love this story. Since it's a rewrite of an older story, it would be interesting if you could write another 5-ish years later.

This story became a tedious read for me honestly. Just a whole lot of the same thing for too long. With the content of the story in mind, had it been 20k words or less, I would've found it enjoyable.

Erotic. Appreciate the pacing, and story development.

Hi, I need to add a couple of more comments. As I wrote earlier, I very much appreciated this story. It's premise, for me, was erotic, heightened by the pacing, and its reflection of your own voice as a writer. Thanks.

Good story but two comments: anal between brother and sister would have been hot, and adding sex with Erica, maybe even a threesome, would have added more variety to a story that was too long and a lot of sameness.

Too long. The plot went all over the place, for no good reason. The movie and the boyfriend were not good

Hi Nikki,

Loved the re-write but I also loved the original. Long? Maybe, but enjoyable nonetheless. I like that you left options for additional chapters, which I hope you consider.

Cheers

Loved the story. 5 star

I haven't read the original; might check it out just to compare it, but this was pretty good overall. But let me just discuss a few things that stood out, for better or worse.

I thought this was going to be a brother/sister story purely focused on them, but a few minutes in and I'm reading about some dumbass boyfriend fucking the sister and blowing his load too fast - twice - and not even offering to get her off. And there's more after that. What a disappointing start that was (and it went on for like 3 pages). Honestly if this is the sort of guy you choose, you can't complain when they behave like that. It took her how many fucks for her to figure out she was with a dud? Not the sharpest tool in the shed. For me, having her just be single would have been better.

Also, why wasn't Bec on the pill already? I mean she's super-horny and sexually active. Unless there was some explanation given like a medical reason (fucks up her cycle or whatever), it's strange for her not to be on it already. I mean if she always made her partner use a condom that would be one thing, but that wasn't the case; pulling out isn't a guarantee even if you try to time your cycles, too. Very silly risk.

Erica doesn't seem to take the hint. There's usually one of her in these types of stories though. Gets a bit repetitive at times, but I suppose there's a reason it's called a cliché. And when she asked to kiss him and he said OK, with the lamest excuse that he couldn't think of a way out of it (just say no you dipshit), I rolled my eyes so hard. The whole conversation with Bec that night really pissed me off. I mean if that had been Bec and a guy and I was in Matt's position, I would be raging, heartbroken, jealous, all sorts of things. She seemed to brush it off so cavalierly, which would have made me question the strength of her feelings for me. They should have just nipped it in the bud right there and then. Yeah they came to their senses later, but stuff like this makes me think of them as just dumb, horny, emotional teenagers (which to an extent is true, but generally the people in these stories have a bit more maturity).

Starting from the bit in the story with the call from Erica and Matt agreeing to a date, it then went on like it was taken from a script I've seen many a time. Bec gets pissed, locks herself away, fails to communicate (always the kicker, communication is key, people never learn it seems), then she goes AWOL, and he goes on a date. At this point I'm fully expecting that Bec went and got herself a date as well to make him jealous, but I kept the hope they'd both stop being so fucking childish and just talk and fix things. Thankfully she didn't get that date (or at least it was never hinted at) so that was something at least. Of course, in true male fashion, Matt went a little too far on his date with the touchy-feely but thankfully showed enough restraint not to get a blowjob or something.

In the end, they sorted their shit and focused on life together. I felt like the ending was a setup to an epilogue showing their future, but sadly it never came. So we're left wondering if it all worked out. I like to think it did even if parts of me have doubts about their relationship given all the silly things that happened so far. Hopefully they matured a bit more, learned to communicate more and not overreact, got their own place somewhere where they could be themselves, and started to really build their life together, having that family they mentioned. I think that's the way all good romances should end :)

I loved it... I was surprised that their mum never found her panties in his room... I was also surprised Bec never found Erics panties in his pocket? Both of these incidents would have added a twist...

More intimate and gentler lovemaking and a more realistic story line. The previous version bears little similarity to this, much improved version.

I for one loved the original, but this one is even better. I would love to see this story continued maybe even continued in two pathways. One where they continue the relationship by themselves and eventually have kids. And one it’s pure fantasy and they involve the parents and others.

Great story. Would love a continuation where they have kids.

It kept drawing me back until I finished reading it, but the closure was a drop.

Pretty good story.

Fuck bec fvking shltty wh0re

What an intense and beautiful love story. Where do they go from here? Children?

LeB

Fantastic, so glad you did the rewrite.

So beautiful, it makes me miss my sister

A very nice loving and well developed story. I can’t help but wonder why the original story received such criticism. That said, I will definitely need some time before reading the original composition. I don’t know if this thought is constructive. I think it would be interesting and fair to have had Bec confronted with a similar “predicament” as Matt had with Erica.