All Comments on 'Brown Eyes in the Storm'

I was in the Navy, stationed in Pensacola for my first enlistment way back in the earliest of the 80's and all the locations mentioned gave me flashbacks, some good & some not so good. Johnson's Beach & Perdido Key with the Flora-Bama Lounge are forever etched in my mind, looking like the great tourist areas they were in good times and then devastated after Hurricane Elena. That SOB hit P'cola physically twice and I still have that damn t-shirt. Escambia County was really changed after that event and the romance associated with everything west of NAS Pensacola, out the back gate on Gulf Beach Highway and towards the Florida - Alabama state line got twisted into several layers of nightmare.

Very enjoyable to read and the relationship between a crotch riding twenty something & the hottie who was his best friend's Mom while they grew up, the overall strength of the two characters cemented it for me.

BRAVO!!

This is just terrific. Thank you.

I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this. What an excellent story. Beautifully written strong characters. Vivid details that let me play a movie on my head. This is perfect.

Not only is this one very romantically and sexually intense story, but it's without a single shred of a doubt, THE FINEST accounting I've ever read of what those of us that survived "Ivan the Terrible" experienced! I was in West Pensacola, just a few short miles from "Ground Zero" through it all and feel as if I just relived that hell all over again. =8^0 Feeee~UCK!

This remarkably written story created more than a few shivers and cringeworthy flashbacks to the middle of that dark night eleven years ago. Your words weren't just emotionally charged and contrived in an author's creativity...they were real! You captured the initial nonchalance most of us had, moved into the cautious worry stage, then to the barely controlled uneasiness that suddenly cloaked us, on to the reality of total fear at the height of the storm, the energy-sapping anxiety when the sun came up and we saw what was left of our world, and even the mind-numbing lack of news those first few days and seeing armed soldiers on our streets and in our shattered neighborhoods And then you culminated it all with the "We survived and will rebuild" spirit as the lights started coming back on two long weeks later.

To me, the romance between Wendy and John followed a similar path as the storm, but from the emotional standpoint. Like our city did, it all ended well eventually,all was right with the world again, and the future was bright.

Regardless of whether this one wins the contest (as it well should!) or not...be very, very, VERY proud of the ways you touched people with it. That's the true test and mark of a prize-winning author.

MST, again you have exceeded, no maxed out my expectations with your vivid imagineering of this story. This is a graphically rendered picture of unbelievable devastation confronting two stubborn people forced to rely on one another for survival. And who find a mutual understanding and depth of emotional bonding in their travail.

Enjoyed the story. Riveting drama. Vacationed in Perido Key a few weeks back. Loved the Flora-Bama Yacht Club. Most comfortable bar I have ever watched a sunset from.

The description of living through Hurricane Ivan well done - it gave me a sense of the amazing impact that something of that magnitude would have.

I also enjoyed the way that the characters developed over the course of the story - John discovering his commitment to Wendy and acting on it and Wendy recovering herself and her power as John accepted and appreciated what she offered.

I'll be looking at your other submissions and undoubtedly finding other gems.

Great stuff .

you're seriously talented

it had me engrossed from beginning to end

perfect story telling

I can honestly say that you are the only author I have ever really wanted to comment on or rate, keep up the good work.

My wife and I went thru hurricane Alicia and Ike in Houston and the Loma-Pretia quake in California and we'll take an earthquake any day !!! Damn fine story as usual.

This is a well crafted story of life that is a joy to read. If you have more I am your fan for life. You are a gifted wordsmith.

Excellent !!!!!!

the misses and minor ones that passed by when I lived in Hawaii. That being said, I'm more used to earthquakes now, and while most are minor (with little loss of life) I did experience the "World Series" earthquake in 1989. I was in the kitchen, and remember seeing food flying out of the freezer, the door swinging back and forth - reminded me of 'The Exorcist'. Luckily I was away from the epicenter, so other than a few things falling, no damage. But power went out and the news stations told us to stay off the phone, so that emergency services could use the lines. So I totally get the sense of helplessness, and the recovery afterwards - not anywhere close to the trauma of Ivan, but scary enough. What a wonderful story - felt as though I was there. If it had been me, I'd have left - I know that nature is way stronger than me and I don't want to die when I could have run away instead. But glad that Wendy finally found a man who loves her for who she is, and who appreciates her.

You did a great job of weaving everything together. Keeping all those balls in the air was pretty tricky, but you did a great job!

though I knew it had to, I was sorry to have it end...

It would have been too funny to, in a "week or so" have had Martin show up...

Not just because how he'd flip out on John... But to have seen the scorn that would have been directed his way by her neighbors that it had taken him nearly a month to actually SHOW after his one and only mother (who her neighbors think nothing but good things about) had been through a catastrophic event.

*****

After the car pulled up into the driveway and the driver exited, the shock on the young man's face as he slowly looked around the neighborhood would have been evident from across the street.

But the moment he entered the driveway, Calvin and Martha had started walking over.

"Can I help you," Calvin warily queried the man.

"Uh... Yeah, hi... I'm... Calvin," he started, almost like *it* was a question - a question which was quickly interrupted.

"Oh, so *you're* the son," Calvin replied, the disdain crystal clear, while Martha began looking at Martin like he was shitting in her garden.

"Maybe they're on their honeymoon," Calvin finished, a smile breaking his face.

Martin for just a moment thought he'd gotten to the wrong neighborhood until he remembered that this guy recognized his name and knew who he was in regards to the home's owner. What in the Hell was going on?

*****

Wonderfully done! Keeping me reading without pause all the way through! Thank you so much!

Only a few misspellings instead of a handful per page.

Good for you and good for me too.

You can really write and without the constant aggrevation of egregious semantic and syntactic errors I can really enjoy those.

Someone actually appreciated the editing job. Amazing! I thought it was such a jumble of words in places that it had to be reread to make any sense at all. The plot was so trivial as to make it almost worthless. I'm glad I only skimmed a lot of it. I do appreciate the idea of people of different ages getting together, but not different generations. Wha is our hero going to do to have a family of his own. And isn't it a bit unfair to tie her up when she might well be able to find someone of her generation to keep her company in her later years...when John will probably head off to younger and greener pastures. A generous 3*

An entertaining story. Good character development, you created characters I got into. Definitely enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing your work. And you can only giggle at people who can’t spell when they are bitching at your spelling mistakes. Definitely got a giggle at aggrevation. Spell check even fought me on that one.

Still one of my absolute favorites even after reading it 4-5 times.

Having weathered both Fredrick (my first hurricane and with a four day old son) and Ivan. It seems you had all the feelings and sensations that I had felt. I spent the night Ivan past listening to the wind and sounds of heavy thuds. The next morning I the sound to be of trees falling. I was spared the loss of roof but went without power for an extended period. Our lineman wore a cowboy style hard hat, he was from New Mexico.

I enjoyed this story very much. Thank you.

I don’t know anything about surviving a hurricane, but I do know about Wendy. This story is not at all fanciful. Younger man/older woman intergenerational love can and does happen. If the Wendy that was briefly in my life when I was 22 had been willing to leave the financial security of her emotionally distant husband, I would now be a 60-something guy with an 80-something wife—and no regrets. Fantastic, very believable story.

Very good story, of two people who appreciate each other in ways that others did not, or could not.

OMG get an editor. Hell, marry one! This story needed it badly, and your work is good enough, you (and the work) deserve a good editor.

Being 10 years younger than my wife I tend to love these stories 5*

Lovely story that could have used another page to finish it off properly ;-)

Very curious about the biker twins and the police who let John pass without issue. The segment was left vague as to have almost no meaning at all.

I write "seat of your pants" style, so ideas are always changing throughout the creation process. The twins were a part of one of those ideas that didn't make it to the end of the story.

The original idea had John riding them out on his bike, using its speed to stay within the eye of the hurricane. The twins were sorta meant to be his "guardian angels" watching out for him. It was a silly idea that got cropped. I left them in the story to remind me of it though.

The police don't spin up their lights on crotch rockets going close to 170 all that often. They have a "That idiot will be dead soon enough" attitude about that. Shrug, I needed them to ignore John so he could get to Pensacola in time.

Glad you enjoyed it.

A wonderful story!!

Loved this story and would have liked to see another chapter of all the reactions to their marriage from ex-husband and son; John's mother and father. Would have been an interesting wedding. Don't think the cat would have attended thou.

That was a great story. I'm enjoying your work.

Loved the story enjoyed reading it

I enjoyed this story quite a bit.