Burning Bridges

"Thank you for suggesting this." I said, "It has been wonderful, you seemed to know just what I needed."

"My absolute pleasure; it has been reward enough to watch the tension drain from your face, you are beginning to look like you used to."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that over the years, I have watched the strain grow. I see your eyes sparkle when you look at me, but they tell a different story the rest of the time."

"Am I that transparent?"

"To me, yes. Often I have wanted to talk to you, to ask you what is troubling you, but you know how it is, the train has never been the place to explore this. I'm going to be blunt, I don't know if I will get this opportunity again. I'm not sure that I am a lesbian, I have never had a female lover; but for what ever reason, when I look at you, I feel instantly aware of my sexuality. Gosh, I never imagined I would have the courage to say this. I've been on the edge all day just waiting for this evening, I can't explain, don't really understand it myself, I just feel I want to be closer to you than I have ever felt about anyone. Look, you can leave now, if you want. I'm not ashamed of telling you how I feel, I just hope that you want to help me find out why."

Whilst she said all of this I was aware of her fingers stroking across the palm of my outstretched hand, her eyes never wavered, just asked me to trust her. I didn't reply and tried not to discourage her whilst I considered what to do. Her invitation scared and excited me; as much as I wanted, I was not sure I could take this step, and stalled a reply.

"Lets pay the bill and walk down to London Bridge to catch the train," I said, "walk off all this food we've eaten."

#

This time, I took her arm resting my fingers on the soft skin above her wrist aware of her moving trapping my hand against the silk covering her hip. We had no need to speak, touch was communication enough for the moment. As we walked, I could feel a growing nervousness in her, she started to speak.

"Claire, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

I gently squeezed her wrist.

"You didn't embarrass me, I'm happy you said what you did, I'm just trying to come to terms with how your words make me feel. Truth is, I am scared and excited, and it is a long time since anyone had the ability to bring those two emotions to the surface simultaneously. Time for me to be honest, when I invited you, it was because I wanted to be more than just someone you saw on the way to work, I want to be much more to you than that."

We strolled slowly along, no hurry, each aware of the nearness of the other, exchanging small talk just to hear the others voice, a reassurance that we could act normally regardless of the thoughts crowding, pushing for attention.

Near the Globe Theatre, I felt her shiver.

"Cold?"

"It's cooler than I expected, I should have brought a coat."

"Ah, but you didn't know you were being kidnapped for the night. (What am I saying, I must sound like a schoolgirl) Here, lets put my wrap round both of us."

I took one arm out of the long woollen wrap and Jenny pulled it across her shoulders working her arm into the sleeve, arms crossed backs under the wrap finding a resting place on the tuck of the waist, above the hip pulling one to another allowing us walk in unison. As she moved, I could feel her ribcage pushing against the heel of my hand, sliding my fingers across the silk covering of her hip and relished in the sensation of touching her body.

"Better?"

"Much, I was beginning to chill."

I squeezed her hip and stumbled slightly straightening to find her fingertips on my skin beneath my blouse, my body trembled involuntarily, goose bumps prickling my skin as she tapped out a tune with the tips of her fingers as if playing my skin for a flute.

And so we walked and explored, content at our mutual discovery and freed of the shackles of responsibility.

In the train, we snuggled close pretending the coolness of the night invaded us still. After Bromley, we had the carriage to ourselves and turned to face one another aware that the moment had come; she reached toward me, kissed me, barely brushing my lips, the gentleness of her touch conveying more than words her need for my approval before urgency caught our breath and our bodies took up the refrain. I wanted to touch her, feel her skin warm against mine, silently screamed as her hand brushed my stomach, needing more, shocked at my lust.

We left the platform at Petts Wood, fingers intertwined, almost running to her car. My nails tracing the ridges of silk on spine as she stooped to unlock the car door for me; as my fingers reached the swell of her buttock, she stiffened, turned, taking my face in her hands and kissed me again, tongue tip probing, teeth nibbling at my lower lip as I guided her hips onto mine and we settled for the moment each for the heat of the other. I have no idea of how long we stood glued one to the other, or who may have seen us but one departing car caught us in headlights and beeped it's horn snapping us from our embrace. It was never mentioned, but I knew I was going home with her and gladly entered her car.

In the car, I my hands sought her, mounding the silk skirt up onto her lap until I found skin, she took my hand moving it across her abdomen, pressing it down into the hot valley of her thighs breath catching as she struggled to control the sensations of my investigative fingers. Her legs trembled to make room for my hand, hips edged forward for me to dip beneath the fabric of her panties touching her dampness, feeling mine. How she managed to drive while rocking herself against my fingers escapes me, she pulled onto her driveway wrenching the car to a halt, pushed back her seat and opened her self for my touch stroking my head where it now lay on the soft warm skin of her tummy, twisting her fingers in my hair.

Need met for the moment, she whispered, "Can we go in?" but stay spread while my fingers soothed her palpitations. Finally I stopped, wanting the greater things awaiting each of us and followed her into her home. In the hallway she turned to me almost aggressively, backing me into the wall and kissed me with a force no man had mustered, sliding her body against mine, fucking with my desire; her hands held mine spread against the wall in surrender and I whimpered as her lips moved to my neck arousing my need as she planted kisses down onto my shoulder nibbling at my skin, knowing just where to touch and inflame me.

Now my breath came in sharp jerks accompanying each new kiss of discovery, Jenny pushed the woollen wrap down my arms following its passage with her, lips nuzzling the soft inner fold of my elbow until my legs began to shake from the sheer tension of her action.

"Undress me, please." I asked.

She took my hand and led me up the stairs where I fell to her bed shaking with fear and desire. She reached under her dress, removed her panties, and crouched beside me, knees parted with the skirt of her dress bunched between her thighs.

Her hair fell over my face as she leaned into me planting kisses on my eyes, my nose, mouth and then renewed her attack on my neck and ears. How did she know? What told her where I wanted her kisses? Slowly she unbuttoned by blouse exploring each new area of skin with her lips, raising goose bumps on my skin with the dew of her tongue. I raised my shoulders allowing her to unsnap the clasp of my bra and let her help me out of my blouse. I was ashamed of my breasts, sagging already, they had never been what you could describe as 'pert' and involuntarily brought my arms across my chest only for her push them away moving in to nuzzle and graze, delighting in the stiffening nipples caught between her lips. I don't ever recall feeling so wanton, so lacking in inhibition, I wanted, needed her to touch me and lay serene in her pleasure.

She raised herself and moved to unhook the side fastening on my skirt, sliding the zip and removing my skirt, tights, and panties in one move. My nakedness was absolute under her eyes and I felt relief as she slipped out of her own dress and bra and lay across my body; just to feel her skin on mine was enough, my hips raised to find the pressure of hers and bring my first climax. I lay panting beneath her joined by a sheen of perspiration until she finally raised herself; I parted my legs to make room for her knees and felt her eyes travel down my body.

"I've never done this before." Jenny said, "I don't know what to do. I've wanted to be with you for such a long time and now you're here and I don't know what to do."

I reached up and hugged her to me feeling her breasts melt against mine and another flame of desire threatened to engulf me.

"You are doing fine, make love to me, let me make love to you, no rules, no boundaries, we can find the way together."

What started with renewed kissing, ended after hours of exquisite torture and pleasure, finding each other's rhythms, pleasure centres, and taste. I could have died then and been content, never did I imagine it could be like this. I couldn't keep my hands, and eventually my mouth, from the sweet wetness between her legs, wanting to pry, unfold, and seek the secret that gave me such intense pleasure.

I tried to keep track of who was following, who was leading, seeking the stereotype of fiction, my head pushed away the other lie, that what we are doing is wrong and I surrendered to her caresses with gratitude, discovering more of my body, my souls' needs and desires than in all of my former thirty odd years, and, finally, I pushed Katherine into a corner of my mind where she could look on and smile. Later, exhausted, swollen, sore from mutual ministrations, we fall to sleep wrapped in arms and legs as if it was always thus.

That first night was a passage of mutual discovery, everything a first for each of us; later she told that she had always known she would give herself like that, for me her tenderness and capacity to love and be loved was a dream come true, someone to share, completely, everything.

In the early grey light of dawn, my eyes travel over her as she sleeps, wispy strands of hair trace patterns on her cheek, a damp spot on the pillow, the saliva of slumber, freckled shoulders naked as the breaking day. We passed the point of turning back, hands held we crossed a bridge, felt the heat as it burnt in the darkness of the night lighting our future.

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