by Moondrift
And also a pleasant change from some of the lewd family goings on recently
You need to start faster and keep the action going and more ways of doing it. She should spend more time nude with him being able to take her from any opening. he should also use her anus as a new experience for her.
Ignore the comments about what you should have done. You wrote a story that was about love with a bit of porn thrown in, making it sexy, but not debauched. There's a place for both, but you don't have to have triple penetration in every story. It was lovely, I enjoyed it and got a little tingle that was nice, very nice.
BUT AT LEAST THEY WERE NOT NAMED AFTER VEGETABLES....THOSE KIDS AND THE DOG ALONG WITH THE BENCH KEEP TURNING UP AND NO WOMAN I HAVE EVER KNOW SHOUTS OUT WITH don't...I don't want to...its torment...no darling don't make me...
"Ignore the comments about what you should have done. You wrote a story that was about love with a bit of porn thrown in, making it sexy, but not debauched. There's a place for both, but you don't have to have triple penetration in every story. It was lovely, I enjoyed it and got a little tingle that was nice, very nice."
it's always good to read bad and god criticism, then challenge you're self if you feel it's right then go for it..
I like you're writing styles..