All Comments on 'Camp Natural'

You should continue this relationship with Cameron And Haley staying together through college as couple. They are so well matched, they deserve to stay together as a couple. From the beginning, you made your reader begin falling in love with this young, cute, inexperienced couple. Then Elena steps in between them, it made this reader jealous and maybe a bit hurt that she would step in between this couple. One you worked so hard establishing, making your reader fall in love with them both. In the end they both had an adventurous fling with a more experienced teacher whom they could reflect on fondly - creating additional story material either of these memories or maybe even reunions where they again share themselves with Elena.

Elena could kind of drift off after while after she finds a guy who is more matched to her own experience level. You could branch this adventurous little vixen off on a whole new life with her new guy one who is intrigued with this past summer relationship. That way she could visit Haley and Cameron off and on either remembering or in person.

The long term idea of a threesome couple just was too much like swinging or at least it did to this reader. You worked so hard at creating the cutest couple of sweethearts who are so in love with eachother from the start, keep them going as a couple please.

Steffie

Loved it

Lots of little mistakes in spelling and grammar that could have been avoided with adequate proofreading, the use of spellcheck, and an editor that knows what they are doing, The word is spelled ORGASM and it is in every single story on here. You had to have seen it spelled properly before. Also, ambrosia is the food of the greek gods. One would eat it, not feel it.

don't you find another way of showing who you are referring to than, Cameron , Cameron, Cameron?

Ok this was one hell of a good story,you NEED to keep it going....

Very good story, but a bit long winded. You need to spell check and improve your grammar. All in all, I enjoyed your story. Five stars.

I enjoyed your story. I hope there will be a another chapter.

I was coming here to write almost the exact review as Storyteller wrote.I totally agree. Other than that good story,if not a bit long winded.

Your story was very good this can and should go on give us more

Thank you for pointing those things out. Unfortunately i wasn’t able to finish the story in time to get an editor to look at it, it seems the more time I plan to write a story, even with giving myself time to edit, the story just expands over to my editing time.

I was trying to do something different with the Ambrosia and struggled with it so I’m going to rework that paragraph or replace it.

Thank you for the feedback

That was soo hot — really enjoyed the slow build up — I was hard for most of the Storie 😱M

Please find a editor.

The story concept was great, the tale believable, and as others have stated, it could and probably should spur on more stories about this cute couple. The other comment I am going to reflect is the desperate need of proof-reading and editing, and the run of a good spell checker.

When Haley and Cameron finally had sexual intercourse, there seemed to be a total lack of concern expressed by Cameron or reassurance by Haley about whether or not she was on birth control. There was no douching either (although that would not always be successful). Such things could provide for exploration in a follow-up storyline and perhaps Haley did become pregnant. How would they cope to raise a child while both trying to deal with studies and university life. Knowing some who have done just that, it can be done if they are up for managing the hard road ahead.

I also think that the couple may not have seen the last of Elena either.

Share the Love

Devir Ginator

Truly excellent narrative. Editing and corrections would have made it stellar! Speaking of stellar, Orion is only visible (in the night sky) during late Fall and Winter.

I usually lose interest in tales that go beyond 4 pages. This was well told and worth the time to complete.

but there is no "i" in "orgasm". Outside of that, this was a well thought out and told story.

Well told love story. Hope there will be a second chapter as it seems they all go to the same school or close by. You might want to ask an editor on here for assistance with spell check though.

Great story, well planned. There's no reason this doesn't continue!

Great story have some one experienced proof read your story before printing,

Nicely crafted, thoughtful and with good pacing. The only critique I could even begin to offer is 'we' did not learn much about Camp Natural, the other campers, staff members and some of their stories. If it were me actually going to a camp retreat such as this for a month, I would be making friends and socially networking all kinds of ways! ~ Nudist campgrounds and Summer camps for young adults interested in this lifestyle do exist, and the connections they make WILL set the ACTUAL tone for where social Nudism goes in the next 10, 20 or 30 years. "Oh it's happening alright." ~ Imagine a sequel, please.

Well and while, then and than. When you are revising this story and working on new ones, use well to begin sentences--Well, it felt really fantastic when you sucked my testicles (not testicals)--and while to show the passage of time--I nearly had an orgasm while you and Haley were grinding your pussies together. You might want to remember that than is used for comparison--Haley's pussy tasted sweeter than Elena's--and then shows sequence and time--First he licked (not liked) her outer lips, then her inner lips.

Check your geography. Camp Natural is near Northwestern University, i.e., Evanston, IL. An hour and a half bus ride and they're in a woodsy, mountainy area where the elevation caused a problem with Cameron's breathing the first day? I don't think so, especially one where snowmelt feeds a waterfall and swimming hole. Also, sunset in summer would be late in the day, particularly as related to mealtime at a camp.

When Cameron gave Elena an orgasm from oral ministrations and she squeezed his head between her thighs, he could hardly breathe (with an e at the end), not breath. When Elena sent Haley and Cameron to their favorite place, why didn't she include some of those free condoms in their supplies. I was surprised that no one was ever bothered by insects--no mosquitoes; no flies; no black flies; no bees, wasps, or hornets--and thus no need for insect repellent of any kind.

If you can get a copyeditor to work with you, your readers will be happier.

So well planned and full of the innocence of the young. I loved it in spite of the complete lack of editing.

So many errors in spelling and sentence structure. It was a chore to read. Plot was thin at best. Only 1*

Awesome story. Loved it. I hope there will be a sequel~~

Well done. Worth the time. Best story I have read in quite some time.

Pleaee continue

Also continue water park fun

Thank you everyone for the comments and feedback so far, both the good and the bad. I already have an editor set up to fix the story for me, unfortunately didn’t have the time to do that before submitting. Sorry for the rough read. I appreciate the geography and astronomy feed back, I had a feeling something was off about that and those comments will help in the rewrite. I even took an astronomy class in college but most of it didn’t stick.

Someone mentioned bugs and that is a good point, that could be something that is a problem at first for Cameron to adjust to.

I didn’t mention it in the story but was going to say it in a rewrite/extension or in a second part how Haley did bring some condoms with her for that night, but decided to not use them. Normally i don’t have my characters get pregnant, but could see that happening to Haley, if not this time then soon as they continue their relationship. The story will be more about Haley and Cameron being together, Elena won’t want to continue the full relationship, Cameron and Haley are in love but she doesn’t feel that strong. Elena will always be welcomed in their bed though.

I loved the story. 5*. I saw a few spelling errors but it did not distract me from the story line.,

I really enjoyed this story. This says a lot considering that I don’t usually like long stories. There were a number of spelling and grammatical errors that the author could have easily avoided, but they were not enough to prevent me from appreciating the excellent writing.

The nudist theme definitely fit in with the Annual Nude Day contest, which is more than I can say for many of the other stories submitted that may only superficially touch upon nudity. I wish that, in the future, Literotica would review these stories more carefully before allowing them to be submitted for the contest.

I give you an A+ for character development for Cameron and Haley. You made them real as opposed to two dimensional. Cameron was described as a self-conscious introvert, a nice guy but pessimistic and lacking confidence. I liked him until the part where he had sex with Elena in the shower. I lost respect for him then. What a clod! If he really liked Haley, then he should have resisted Elena’s advances.

Haley was more outgoing and positive, but she also lacked confidence in herself. She stated, "I'm so used to people not really seeing me for who I am back home, here I can be myself and I don't have to hide. I am free."

The interaction between Cameron and Haley was so romantic! They were a good match. I loved the part where she first pointed out the stars to Cameron although I thought it was a bit contrived as being out of a few movies that I have seen. The part where Cameron just happened to find a book on astronomy at the camp library also seemed a bit unlikely.

Your description of Elena remained two dimensional. She was considerate of others, but she was also a nymphomaniac without guilt. I’m not sure what to think about the “sapheric love” between Elena and Cameron. (I had to look up the word “sapheric” on the internet.) I feel that this took away from the romance between Cameron and Haley. I don’t see how Cameron could even think about pursuing a relationship with trashy Elena when a beautiful person like Haley was standing right there in front of him.

The author attempted to capture some of the the essence of the nudist lifestyle. Most true nudists will tell you that they enjoy the freedom that comes with the nudist lifestyle. Without their clothes, everyone is equal so far as their background is concerned. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor or what you do for a living.The freedom of being nude in nature is especially wonderful. My wife and I have visited a few nudist camps through the years and we have also been to a few nude beaches. It is wonderful to be able to sunbathe and to go swimming in the nude.

Most nudist clubs that my wife and I have been to are associated with a national nudist organization, are family oriented, and have rules against overt sexuality. The camp that you describe sounds like more of a sex club (“sex is permitted anywhere at anytime, no one will break up two or more willing partners”). While there are campgrounds that are for swingers, it seems unlikely that Cameron or Haley would want to visit that type of club. I think it would have been sufficient to describe the camp as a nudist camp. To give the camp more credibility, you could have described in detail the association between the camp and the college.

I enjoyed it. Had to read it through to see how things worked out. Nice that Haley and Cameron finally went all the way. Would have liked to see Cameron do it with Elena, too. I liked the 3-some action. Some editing will help. Good effort. I love the nudist camp setting. Have always wanted to visit one but wife would not go for it.

That was a great story...... I couldn't stop reading it. I am really hoping for another chapter....... I hope you go farther with the story........

HAD ME HARD FROM THE GET GO.

Really good First Time/Romance story. I'd love a followup chapter. One really minor nitpick: You can't see Orion in the summer from the northern hemisphere.

Excellent work.

looking forward to future chapters.

Thank you.

oW

Good story, but it could have been a bit shorter. Would love to read a new chapter with all three in bed together.

I'm too invested in the characters to leave them be. Please continue this story. Thanks

One of the best stories I’ve read in this category. I also think this is the best for the Nude Day category. You really captured the feelings and emotions of the characters. Very well written. And yes, I agree with the other comments that you should continue with this story!

One of the all time and all kind best story!!

Great work!!!

Thank you

M

Too long and too many errors that break the train of thought you were trying to reach.

Firstly, what a fabulous story this is. It is perhaps on the long side however I found myself wanting to find out what happened next and did not pay much attention to the number of pages involved. Enjoyed how the friendship with Elena developed and turned into teacher cum lover for Cameron and Haley. Loved it from start to finish though the title did give away what the subject was likely to be for me. On the down side, as other have said, there are so many errors within the story both typos and grammatical which could have been ironed out with a good proof reader or even in some cases just with the use of a decent spell checker. Finally, this story has got miles to go I feel and not only is there a sequel in my view there is even sequels to sequels. You must write about how this beautiful relationship develops after camp and how they deal with the inevitable parent issues and what the future holds for them into the following summer.

I loved this story so much i want it to become a to become a movie.I almost cried reading this it was so good. I love the story.I loved the plot. I loved the characters. Straight up i didnt even think about masturbating or anything I got so invested in the story. So romantic. Person who made this story u need to an award for your fantastic work. Please become an author or movie script maker or something you are so fucking talented. I literally created this account just to write you a review.Thank you for writing this story.

-Ben A.

We all are probably burning to hear what happens next summer, or between Cameron and Haley in college!

Thank you for all of the comments, both positive and negative on this story. I got an editor to look over the story for me and I am already working on a 2nd draft and going to start outlining for the next part.

Thanks again for all of the critiques and support.

Absolutely amazing, extremely long, but in a sense it almost had to be, what a wonderful way for Haley and Cameron to mature together, I love happy endings.

Glad you have editor to add some polish. LOVED this story and am happy to hear there will be more. Now I have to check your other stories! Happy Holidays and rock on. drmike

"Orgasm", not "orgasim" or "orgaism". There were also several other typoes that need to be addressed. That was the only thing that took away from the enjoyment of the story ...

Probably the best story I’ve read here. A little long but good pace of acceleration to make it more believable. I hope you will write a sequel with Elena probing his ass with a finger or toy since she’s more adventurous and forward.

That was simply brilliant !

Long, slow, careful build up, but what a 'climax' !

I do hope you are going to write a follow up about their life after camp ?

Rapier

Brilliant premise. Good writing.

Definitely worth more chapters.

Really great story. Couldn’t read it all in one sitting and found myself totally relating the Cameron and falling in love with the entire situation. You need to find someone who will make every word into a movie. It would be one if the best erotic films I’ve ever seen due to the real innocence, coming of ag and heathy nudity as a beautiful thing. Get a producer!!

Are you thinking of a part 2 yet. Would love to see what happens between Cameron and Ellen.

Page 2: Cameron and Haley watch the night sky. Cameron marvels about the number of stars visible from their viewpoint, away from the light pollution and other pollution prevalent in town. But it's mentioned that there's also the full moon in the sky.

The moon and especially the full moon equivalents to artificial sources of light pollution. You won't see much except the brighter stars in a scenario like this. You might identify constellations, because they mostly consist of the brighter stars.

Yes, I'm nitpicking, but it derails the romantic mood you try to set. And if anybody might be interested to let himself be impressed by a star filled view of the sky: Choose a night or a time of night without the moon being present and make it a time a couple of hours away both from sunset and from dawn. Let your eyes adapt to the darkness for some time and with some luck be enlightened, inspired by what you'll experience.

We have come up with numbers to describe the vastness of the space and the time of existence of this universe. But we can't really grasp the magnitude of this spectacle. We are less than dust specks in this universe, that is blind and uncaring towards us both as individuals and as mankind. But isn't it astounding how deeply we are able to feel pain and love even knowing of our own unimportance?

a reader from germany

Great character development and neat story line - the 3-way relationship ... totally erotic!

Character development was great, I enjoyed the level of love and caring in the relationships. I have always wanted to try a nudist camp but, don't wish to go alone.

Great story, but...

Earlier in the story there was mention of condoms being available. They should have used one? Also Elena didn't get to sample his cock filling her puss,,, why?

Otherwise I loved it.

An incredible story.

Clearly a winner except no resolution to the question... whom will he choose?

Usually I do mot read long stories, but I did and I feel cheated .

I normally don’t like long stories... but I loved the development of this one and wouldn’t want it to be shorter.

The fact it was about a non-conventional relationship was interesting too, even if it was somewhat predictable it was still nice in the details used in the development.

This left me wanting a part 2 of them in college or the next year back at the camp again...

This a warm my heart while stimulating story. I loved the ending but still feel it just needs another chapter or 3

Good story, BUT---what about Elena??? Should be a chapter 2.

I enjoyed the story , well thought out . Have read some of the reviews, I personally was not looking

for any errors I was just enjoying your story telling . Eric

Definitely one of the best stories on Literotica

I really enjoyed this story wished it went on and on I could almost feel the sexual sensations as they occured.

Loved this story really would have loved a part 2

>Elena

>Large breasts

>C-cup

Uh, C is medium. The way you talk about them, they sound more like DDs or Ds.

Η ιστορία ήταν καταπληκτική. Η αγάπη μεταξύ των προταγωνιστων υπερβαίνει κάθε φαντασία.

Θα ήθελα να έχει και νέα κεφαλαία .... με επιπλέον ολοκληρωτική και αληθινή αγάπη.

enjoyed very much, romantic , well written, well paced.

Thank you to everyone for the comments and votes on this story, I am working on the story again and have 11,000 words done for the next part. The following chapters will probably be shorter than chapter one was, but I am going to get a couple of them done and then start submitting them. Please let me know of anything you would be interested in seeing in upcoming chapters. The first chapters will take place with them at school and then all three return to Camp Natural as camp counselors.

Great story , well written . I can just imagine how the actors would play their parts in a movie

Yikes, naked archery... I know I wouldn't want my nipples anywhere near that snapping bow string.

I love your stories because they usually are just nice and sweet without too much artificial drama.

It’s been about a year since I read this last. I’m working my way through all the stories on Literotica

Reading 4 or 6 stories a day & this is one of my favorites!

This is y third time reading this & it’s still fresh and interesting.

Love most all of your work. Est. Wes ever reading you’re working on a second part.

Too bad Literotica doesn’t have a way to send money to great authors.

Bill S.

Unfortunately I couldn't get past half the first page because of the number of times you used the name Cameron! You say the story is over 11,000 words. Check how many times it appeared. Try and use more pronouns and structutures that help avoiding repetition.

I really liked the story. I saw that you finished it about 3 years ago. Please consider doing a part 2.

I just submitted part two, so it should be up in a few days. Thank you everyone for your support, critiques, and advice. I will be working on part three after my summer contest entry is done so let me know some things you would like to see in future chapters.

I would love to see this story made into a film even if the story had to be modified to be less sexual. It would be nice to get more body descriptions of some of the other female counselors or campers. I feel like there is too much focus on Haley and Elena all the time like there the only two ladies there.

One of the best pieces I’ve read. Beautiful.

I also feel this is one of the best stories I have read on Literotica, right up there with the other ones I have commented on, regarding EMTIONAL INVOLVMENT between the characters!! Cameron, Haley, and Elena make such a beautiful trio-they love each other, and care for each other; they communicate, and share, so well, it is just heart-swelling to read!!

I AM of the opinion that we can love more than (1) person in our lives; it is too distracting and complicated, tho', to do that...society today says we can. The Bible points out how difficult it is (c.f.-David, Solomon...) Oh, how it would be nice to indulge...so I do so here, in the stories I read!!

Thank You for Chapter 1; and I am on to Chapter 2 now!!

Five**5**Stars-so well deserved and earned!!🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋😈🌀

I was 1. Entertained with your story. 2. I would have paid to read it IF I knew it was a series. 3. Gave it a 5 review.

Loved the story between Cameron and Haley. Elena not so much, she should have found her own guy instead of stealing half of Cameron from Haley and half of Haley from Cameron. The relationship clearly developed between Cameron and Haley. Elena butted in as a third wheel where she didn’t belong, especially now that Haley and Cameron have openly declared they love one another.

Also having been raised in a conservative religious household myself, I find it difficult to accept that Haley would go for a three-way relationship without lots and lots of wrestling with her moralistic upbringing. It just didn’t fit her character and really didn’t fit Cameron’s character that much either. A couple of never had a relationship 18 year olds, no matter how much they are both trying to rebel against their parents.

So, if you do continue this story, you should find a nice guy for Elena to date and settle down with as they become long time friends with Haley and Cameron.

Elena should step aside and allow the relationship between Cameron and Haley to deepen. Elena should find another guy for herself to become a second storyline as the relationship between Haley and Cameron continues as the main one. Elena taught them how to become a couple, now is their chance to become a real couple in the real world without her.

A good first time story spoiled by too much words, too often repeating themselves, too often full names where "he" or "she" would be natural (more than once confusing by using the name of one character while another character was meant), too much background of Cameron in the beginning that has no function in the proceedings.