Cat in the Rain

So I was compelled to look the motherfucker in the eye as I explained his predicament to him. I wanted to watch his horror as the jaws of the trap closed. I had to see him in the moment when he knew that there was no way out - and I wanted to watch him rage against that knowledge

But in order to maximize his pain I had to find out everything that I could about his miserable life.

I am not as good as Kari with all of those wired gadgets – she was raised in that generation. But I have a track record that proves that I am better than anybody at analytic tradecraft. So I cracked open the personal files that we had pulled off his server.

I was hoping that a day with Senator Dickhead's most intimate secrets might prove informative.

His server automatically backed up its clients. So, although the dumbass religiously erased the stuff on his own computer, there was a backup copy of all of his personal comings-and-goings sitting on his office hard drive. That was what we had downloaded.

And since the good Senator couldn't even spell encryption let alone practice it, his entire criminal enterprise was right there in easy to read plaintext.

It didn't take very long to see that he was running a classic pay-to-play scheme that was worthy of the Mayor's Office in Detroit.

Only a self-important, over-entitled douchebag, with no concept of accountability would keep evidence of actions that blatantly corrupt on a computer. But the good Senator appeared to think that he could do anything that he wanted without repercussions.

I suppose if you sat in the rarified atmosphere of the Senate you might see things that way. But it was hubris plain-and-simple. And as a result, the Senator was about to discover that there are ALWAYS consequences for your acts.

I am a tiny, unimportant David. And Senator Dickhead probably thought that he was an invincible Goliath – particularly with the power and majesty of the entire Federal Government backing him. But the virtual world changes the rules of engagement. And in that world - the right person with the right technology can bring ANYBODY down.

By bed time I had assembled a digest of things for Gold to follow-up on. Those revelations might actually earn him that Pulitzer. The dossier had detailed accounts of names, times, services rendered, and amounts. It also had the account numbers and credentials for the places where the good Senator had buried his booty.

Along with that irrefutable proof of corruption - I also included a stirring high definition video starring the Senator's hairy ass and a woman whose face was pixeled out.

The record of the kickbacks were the criminal acts. Those would eventually get the Senator sent to prison. But there is nothing like a juicy scandal to get the vultures circling right away. And the Post wouldn't have to have independent confirmation to go with the graphic video I was providing.

I put it all on two thumb drives and put THOSE in an envelope. I would give that to Gold tomorrow. But first I really had to watch Senator Fuckface squirm.

Kari believed that he had been the architect of Janet's downfall. So I wanted him to experience – if even for a short time - what it was like to live in emotional hell.

He was constantly surrounded by personal security and toadies. So I would have to flush him out of cover first. The best way to accomplish THAT was to make him an offer that he couldn't say "no" to.

I figured he wouldn't want witnesses around as we discussed a topic as politically toxic as him fucking my wife. So I took a short clip of the exciting climax of their little tryst - this time with Janet's face uncovered - and sent it to his personal e-mail account.

I was pretty sure THAT revelation would upset the Congressman's petit-dejeuner tomorrow. And I was hoping that Janet might be the one screening his messages. That would give me a twofer.

Of course I didn't want any involvement with my friends at Fort Meade. So I sent the message using the TOR browser bundle. I hopped it through enough nodes that the Senator's boys would be trying to figure out how the Bratva had gotten involved.

Just to turbo-up that deception - I included a message in bad English. It said, "Gospodin, Very bad boy you are – we need to conversation NOW – please come Monday 2 PM to National Mall... on wall sit closest to Memorial to Director Lincoln. No bringing Militsya you bad boy."

I was about to snap off the light when I had the urge to call Kari. I wanted to hear her voice.

The phone kept ringing and I was about to hang up when she answered. She sounded out of breath.

I said, "Oh my God!! Did I interrupt something?"

She said, "It's okay. I'm glad you called. Are you all right?"

I said, "I'm really sorry that I rang this late. But can we meet tomorrow at 11:00 at the King Street Metro Station in Alexandria? I'll fill you in on some new developments. Now go back to what, or whoever, you were doing."

She snickered and said, "His wait will be well worth it." I was laughing as I hung up. I thought, "What a woman!!"

I dozed off feeling better. I was going to ruin the mother-fucker. But first I was going to watch him twist.

Janet was also in for the same kind of bad news. And for some reason that made me sad.

Her betrayal had created two realities for me. I wanted to brand both cheeks of her big beautiful ass with a scarlet "A". And then whip her naked down Pennsylvania Avenue. But I also had all of the residual feelings of loving connection that we had built up over the last ten years.

In everything but one indefensible thing she had been a perfect wife, friend and lover.

Those recollected emotions were neatly walled off in another part of my psyche, relatively untouched by my present pain. I was pretty sure that Janet had never meant to hurt me. But it didn't change the fact that I was alone and bereft thanks to her actions.

Tomorrow I was going to settle the score with Senator Dickbreath. And that was keeping me going. I knew that once that was done and my divorce from Janet managed – and THAT would be harrowing for sure - I was looking at a pretty godforsaken life.

I was waiting for Kari at the exit from the Metro. I was trying to tell myself that I needed her help. But I couldn't kid myself. I just plain needed her. She had become a lot more than my partner in crime and battle buddy. She was a one woman security blanket – the single human being I knew I could trust and totally rely on.

She emerged from a Blue line train at exactly 11:00. I was standing on the other side of the automated turnstiles as she came through looking around for me. She was dressed in her usual tight jeans and heels but she was wearing a v-necked sweater instead of a t-shirt. That revealed a couple of yards of deep cleavage and it made her look older for a change.

Every guy following her was checking out the twitching of her little round ass and people in front of me were watching her huge jugs bounce as she strode along. She seemed concerned.

Then when she saw me her face lit up and she walked rapidly toward me, jiggling all the way. She looked cool, composed, intelligent and totally in command.

I said, "I'm very sorry that I interrupted your fun last night. I should have been more considerate of the time. It was just that I put something else in play that I need your help with. I know I told you that I wanted you out of it. But I can't do this by myself."

As we walked out of the station she grabbed my arm merrily and crushed it against her massive left tit.

She said breezily, "That was just a little sport-fuck. After the way you wound me up the night before I needed to let off some steam."

I said, "I beg your pardon??!!"

She said, "Oh don't worry about it. I know you didn't do it on purpose. But the lustful urges that you inspired in me while we were spooning had to get worked off somehow." And she gave me one of her dimpled smiles.

I gawked at her astonished. She ignored that completely and kept talking. She said, "What's the status of Operation Fuck-the-Senator?"

I said, "Can you take the rest of the day off?"

She said coquettishly, "You're my boss. Can I?"

I said, "Call in and tell them that you are tracking something down and you will be in tomorrow. I don't want my disappearance to get connected to yours." She said, "Gottcha!" and dialed.

We walked across the Diagonal Road next to the Station and into Joe Theismann's. The lunch crowd was just starting up and so we got a seat right away.

I ran through what I had discovered.

She said, "What an idiot. If you are going to do something THAT corrupt you ought to keep the evidence locked in a safe like they used to do in Mayor Daly's day. Not just out in the open where anybody can get at it."

I said, "That's self-evident to somebody from your generation. But remember that this guy is old and he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Plus he fears no evil - because he's the meanest mother-fucker in the valley."

She dimpled. That face is infectious. I had to keep reminding myself that Kari was off-limits, at least until I got my marriage sorted out. It wasn't a matter of her smoking hot body, or that face. It was just the total package of tough, intelligent femininity. She made me feel confident.

She said, "What do you need me to do?"

I said, "The guy is meeting me at the reflecting pool. Except he doesn't know who he is going to meet. I just want to look him in the eye as I tell him about all the things that are going to happen to him.

"But I need you to spot for me while I am doing it. I have no idea what he plans to do about what I sent him. But he might bring friends. And so I want somebody to watch my back and alert me if trouble is coming."

We spent the rest of the lunch hour carefully choreographing our plan and then we parted company. I didn't want to take the slightest chance of exposing her.

The Senator showed up at 2:05 and sat on the decorative wall next to the reflecting pool on the Lincoln Memorial side of the Mall. He looked very ill at ease. In fact he looked terrified – good!

I thought I would let him stew for a while.

Kari was sitting with her back to the marble baluster at the second set of steps up to the memorial. She had a camera on a tripod in front of her.

She looked like the world's hottest school girl, taking pictures of the National Mall through a 300 mm lens.

But what she was really doing was using the telephoto to scan for problems. There was an open link between my cell phone - which was in my shirt pocket - and hers. She would squawk a warning if she saw something.

He was sitting on the part of the wall facing down the reflecting pool toward the Capitol. There were some tourists in the general vicinity but there was nobody close enough to overhear.

I thought to myself, "In for a penny – in for a pound."

I was standing on the grass behind him when I said, "Good afternoon Senator Simpson. Can I join you?"

He whipped around like he was in the desert and he had just heard a rattle behind him. I was standing there looking neutral – not angry – not happy. I was intentionally situated so that he would have to hold a stress position in order to look at me. That was planned.

I could see that he knew me but couldn't place me.

I just stared at him for another minute.

Finally I could see the recognition dawn on him.

He said, "You're Janet Schmidt's husband!!" I walked around the edge of the wall and sat down beside him. I said, "Bingo!! The very one!!"

I could see the fear in his eyes. He was afraid that I was going to lay some well-deserved physical hurt on him. Well I wasn't. What I had planned was going to be a lot more prolonged and satisfying agony than a swift kick in the nuts.

Politics is all about the image. And thanks to me his trip from the penthouse to the outhouse was going to be on the express elevator.

I said, "Yes indeed I am Janet's husband - and I would like to tell you about the situation that you find yourself in. I have a lot more graphic stuff than the clip that I sent you. It is clearly you so there is no way you can deny it. And it is NOT the kind of thing you will want to see on YouTube." I made the same MAAAAAing noise that he had made as he came in Janet's mouth the week before.

He said angrily, "How did you get those pictures?"

I said, "That's none of your business. What YOU care about is what I am going to DO with them."

He looked at me speculatively and said, "How much?"

The guy was a really sleazy ball of shit. He thought that I had pimped Janet out to shake him down for blackmail. That nearly DID earn him a rap in the mouth. But I had to stay cool. He was toast – I just had to finish telling him about that.

I said, "Here's what's going to happen. First, I am going to give all of this to the guy at the Post who is investigating you for his story on moral turpitude in the Senate. Then he is going to publish it.

"And at the same time, I am going to create a website called "Senators Gone Wild." I have been recording you for some time. So it will feature the stuff that you've already seen plus a whole lot more. I'm certain that between Janet's beauty, and all of the graphic sex it will draw millions of visitors. Maybe it will go viral and I'll make a bundle."

He looked horrified. He spluttered, "But you can't do THAT!! Think of what you will be doing to the Country, think of my constituents."

I laughed out loud. I said, "I AM thinking about the Country and your constituents. They will probably want to know what the voice of Family Values is doing for them in Washington. I am also sure that your esteemed colleagues in the Senate would like to find out what you have been up to."

That entire body is like a cackle of Hyenas – they'd tear a wounded member of the pack to shreds.

He absorbed all of that. There was a pause as the implications sank in.

And then he dropped his face into his hands and began to blubber. That was a satisfying surprise. He was an even bigger candy-ass than I thought he was. But witnessing his public breakdown WAS gratifying – it mirrored the private one that I had when I discovered the reality of my OWN situation.

I said with a sneer, "Man-up you raging pussy!! You're crying just like my wife did after you fucked her last Friday night. Oh and about Janet. If you tell her about any of this before I get the pleasure of doing it myself there are some additional things that I can do to you that you are going to absolutely hate."

Then I smiled patronizingly and said, "But unlike you I am a decent guy. So I am going to let you fall-on-your-sword in true corrupt DC fashion. I will let you resign your Office to spend more time with your family. If you do that in the next 24 hours I won't hand this to the Post."

He looked at me eagerly and said, "You'll let me do that?"

It would save a lot of his bacon back home if he resigned in good standing. Rather than being outed as the debased piece of shit that he actually was.

I said, "Like I said – I'm a decent guy."

I had absolutely no intention of doing anything other than putting his wretched morals in the global spotlight. But it would give our conversation a-hell-of-a-lot more impact when he found out that I was as crooked as he was.

He stood, took my hand in both of hi, in that classic politician's grasp, and shook it with eager gratitude. He actually said with tears in his eyes, "Thank you!!" And then he turned and headed off down the reflecting pool. He was beaten but as yet unbowed. The next 24 hours would change that status for him - a lot.

I called Gold and asked him to meet me at the Madison for a midafternoon drink. It is right up the street from the Post. Kari was sitting with me at a booth in the bar area when he came in. I rose and we shook hands. I said, "You remember my associate Kari Whitman?"

He gave her the same appreciative once-over that every guy does and said, "Of COURSE I remember."

At least he was honest.

I handed him the envelope and told him in very general terms what was on the two thumb drives. I said, "I have to apologize to you. My wife WAS having an affair with Senator Simpson all of the evidence is on THIS drive and I handed him the first one."

Last night I had put together a fifteen minute collection of Janet's greatest hits. It killed me to relive it. But I wanted to control what Gold saw. Nevertheless, even 15 minutes of what I gave Gold was enough to end the Senator's career.

Then I held up the other drive. I said, "This has all of the documentation of a multi-million dollar pay-to-play scheme that the Senator has been running since he took over the Chairmanship. The details are all there. Even by Washington standards it's corrupt.

"This was stolen off his hard-drive so you will have to confirm it from other sources. But the trails that your investigators need to follow and the rabbit holes to look down are all clearly marked. I am sure the Post has the resources to dig this up ASAP."

Gold looked at me with wonder. He said, "If what you are saying is true this will be the political story of the year. And the good Senator is doomed. I won't ask how you got it. But I CAN congratulate you. This is dynamite stuff."

I said, "The information I just handed you was Kari's doing. She is the genius behind all of that."

The little exhibitionist was in the process of showing Gold her tits all the way down to her black bra. But she dimpled with thanks as she did it. He tore his eyes away from her cleavage and looked at me with gratitude. He said, "What can I do for YOU?"

I said, "Well first of all you can keep Janet out of this as much as you can. She is a victim and I want her protected."

Gold said, "Even though she cheated on you?"

I said, "I want to be fair. She ripped my beating heart out of my chest. But that's personal. When you publish this stuff the shit is going to hit the fan in ways that I can't even imagine up on Capitol Hill. She doesn't deserve to suffer those consequences. She might have cheated. And that is bad enough. But she is not a criminal."

We shook hands and Gold departed. Kari looked at me with wonder and said, "That was really decent of you. What next?"

I sighed and said, "I'm going to go home now to face the music."

She looked concerned and said. "Do you need anything from me – can I do anything for you?"

I said, "This is a battle I have to fight alone. I imagine that this is going to all play out over the next 24 hours. I might see you at work day-after-tomorrow."

Kari said, with a funny sounding voice, "She is going to expect you to fuck her. Are you going to do that?"

I faked a cough and said, "Dengue fever, or perhaps its Ebola – at any rate I am too sick to touch her. By tomorrow it'll all be a moot point anyhow."

As we parted company Kari stood on her tiptoes and gave me the sweetest kiss on the cheek. For a change she looked downright unhappy. She said, "Be brave Boss. I will always be available if you need me. Call me any time."

I looked at her beautiful little sad and worried face and said, "You'll be the first person I'll call. And I will never forget what you have done for me."

Janet wasn't home when I got back. I changed into my most comfortable clothes, jeans and a flannel shirt, and did a little prep work. Then I sat waiting for her in the den. I had the fatal clip teed up on the laptop in front of me.

She arrived around 7:00 carrying Chinese take-out from Kitchen No. 1. She put the bag on the table in the foyer and went straight upstairs.

She came back 15 minutes later in her standard around-the-house outfit, yoga pants and a loose sweatshirt.

She picked up the bag and walked toward the kitchen looking preoccupied. She saw me sitting in the den, gave a little gasp and a look of absolute joy spread across her face. She dropped the bag and ran toward me. I stood up. She threw her arms around me and gave me a big kiss. I had not said anything to that point. I was too full of emotion.