Catherine & Thomas Ch. 05

Lucille spoke for the first time.

"Thomas was vicious Catherine. I know that the business world is brutal but this went beyond business. He wanted to crush Kyle. He was enjoying himself Catherine." She said.

"How...how do you know all this?" I asked shakily.

"I'm engaged to one of the board members. We've kept our relationship quiet because we knew how people would gossip and, well, it was just easier not to tell anyone we worked with. Veronica knows but she also knows how to keep her mouth shut. My fiancé told me this morning what happened. He'd spent the weekend in meetings with the board and came over to my place this morning to warn me that things were going to be tense and difficult for a while. Kyle was popular here and there are many people who will resent what Thomas did."

I was stunned. I could hardly process what I'd just heard. Now I knew why Kyle hadn't called me. What really stunned and sickened me was Thomas's duplicity. He must have planned this for a long time and he hadn't given me the slightest hint of what he was up to. He'd made the sweetest love to me and then had calmly gone off to destroy a man I knew and liked. When he'd called me on Sunday, murmuring his words of love, his hands were still bloody from the previous day's boardroom battle.

And Kyle, poor Kyle; I couldn't believe that Kyle could ever deserve what Thomas had done to him.

The three of us sat quietly for a moment. We were too stunned to speak further. We knew that there would be sweeping changes within the company. Thomas would purge the company of all Kyle's allies, suspected or confirmed. I knew that both Veronica and Lucille must be wondering if anything they had ever said or done could be construed as allegiance to Kyle. They liked Kyle very much but they also valued their jobs and the opportunities they were given here.

Eventually I knew I had to get out of there. I had to speak to Thomas. I mumbled an excuse and stumbled out of Veronica's office. As I left I heard Veronica murmur something that sounded like "she really liked Kyle". I realised that they thought my distress was because I had feelings for Kyle and was distraught about what my brother had done to him. They were only partly right. I was upset for Kyle but I was also sickened that my Thomas was capable of such deceitful and vicious behaviour.

I made my way to Thomas's office in a daze. I walked past Melissa and ignored her cries that I couldn't go in unannounced. Thomas looked up from his work, annoyed at being disturbed. When he saw it was me he grinned broadly, rose to his feet and walked over to me. The door opened again and I heard Melissa behind me, apologising for my barging in. Thomas waved away her apology and told her it was ok. He walked past me and locked the office door. I still couldn't speak. He came up behind me and embraced me tightly.

"I missed you baby." He whispered. "I'm so glad you're here. I think we can suspend that no play at work rule for a few minutes. Don't you agree?"

His hands slipped underneath my shirt and I felt his lips against my neck. He pressed against me and I had ample evidence of his arousal. That jolted me to life and I pulled away from him. I turned and saw the surprise on his face.

"What's the matter Cat?" he asked, puzzled at my reaction.

"How could you Thomas? How could you do that to Kyle?" I asked, my voice shaking with distress and anger.

His expression became icy. He walked past me and resumed his seat behind his desk.

"Don't start Catherine. You don't know what you're talking about." He said shortly.

"I know that you lied to me. I know that you destroyed Kyle. I know that you're not the man I thought you were." I hissed.

He shot to his feet again and advanced threateningly on me. I shrank back in sudden fear. He didn't notice my frightened response. He stood close to me and told me in an angry whisper,

"You're being a silly little girl. This is business and business is brutal. Stop taking everything so damn personally. What I did to Kyle was business, pure and simple. If you think that I should feel bad about that then you're wasting your time."

"I don't believe you." I said. "This wasn't just business. You hate Kyle. You enjoyed hurting him."

Thomas laughed cruelly. "I enjoyed hurting him? Hurting him? Next you'll be saying that I made him cry."

By now I was crying. I couldn't believe this was the same man who had made love to me so tenderly just a few days ago.

"What you did was wrong Thomas. It was wrong. You can't justify what you did. And you lied to me!" I cried.

"How did I lie to you?" he asked. He was genuinely puzzled at my accusation.

"You were with me on Friday night, all that night and you didn't say a word about what you were planning. You called me on Sunday and you said nothing! You knew Kyle was my friend and you said nothing!" I nearly shouted those last words at him.

"Of course I said nothing!" he snorted. "What else was I supposed to do? Tell you "Oh Catherine, I love having you in my bed and by the way tomorrow I'm going to bankrupt your friend Kyle.""

All I could do was stare at him, shaking my head disbelievingly. He wasn't done yet though.

"You need to grow up Cat. The world is a tough ugly place and if you're too soft you'll get eaten up. I can't afford to show any weakness. Kyle was my rival. He's much tougher than he seems. That playboy image hides a ruthless operator Cat. He would have done the same to me if I hadn't got him first."

He stepped forward, holding his arms out as if to hug me. Automatically I backed away from him.

"Don't touch me." I whispered.

"Cat, don't be like that, please." He said quietly.

"I hate what you did and I just, I don't, I don't know how to deal with this." I rubbed my hands over my face, as if to wipe away the confusion.

Thomas took advantage of the moment to embrace me. He held me tight and I could feel his heart beating in his chest. He spoke softly to me.

"I'm sorry you're so upset honey. I really am. But I had to do it. I couldn't stand by and watch him take away what belonged to me. I have to protect my own." He murmured against my hair.

I raised my head to look into his eyes.

"What do you mean Thomas? What was he taking away from you?" I asked.

"He was taking you." He said. "I could see that his charm was working on you. You were no match for him honey. He would have used you and you would have been hurt. I couldn't allow that. I would do anything to protect you and keep you with me. I love you my darling. You belong to me."

I looked into his eyes and knew he was telling me the truth. He truly believed that he had done the right thing. I was horrified. If Thomas could do this, what else wouldn't he do? I tried to pull away from him but he held on to me.

"No don't! Don't pull away Cat. If you think about it you'll realise that I'm right. What I did was best for both of us." He told me.

He held my head firmly and kissed me hard, passionately. I tried to turn away but he held me tight. I stood still and let him have his way. I knew I couldn't fight him off. Eventually he realised I wasn't responding. He pulled back and gazed at me questioningly.

"What's the matter honey? Still upset? It's going to be ok, I promise you. I'll look after you always." He said tenderly.

Finally I managed to disengage myself from his embrace.

"I have to go now." I said hoarsely. "I have to go. I can't be here."

"Cat..." Thomas began.

"Please, please, just leave me. I need to be alone." I said.

I walked quickly to the door and fumbled with the lock for a few seconds until I got the door open. I fled past a surprised Melissa and ran to my desk, where I grabbed my bags and hurriedly left the office. I had no intention of returning. I would call Veronica later and apologise for leaving without telling her.

I travelled home on auto pilot. The morning's events kept looping endlessly through my mind. How could I have misjudged Thomas so? Was he a bad person? He had so many good qualities; surely that counted for something. Didn't it?

My mother was surprised to see me home so early.

"Catherine! What are you doing home so early? Are you ill dear?" she asked.

"I'm ok mom. Just feeling tired. I think I might be coming down with something." I replied, scooting past my mother. "I'm going up to my room. I think I'll take a nap. The rest will do me good."

"Would you like me to bring you a cup of tea Catherine?" she called after me.

"No thanks mom!" I called back. "I just need to rest for a while!"

I tore off my clothes and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. I wanted to be in a warm, dark, safe place where Thomas, Kyle and their complicated lives could not touch me. I wanted to turn back the clock to the time when Thomas and I were just brother and sister, when I hadn't met Kyle, when I hadn't worked for Thomas. I wanted my old, boring and predictable life back.

Somehow, in the midst of my misery, I fell asleep. My sleep was fitful and plagued with unsettling and frightening dreams. Eventually I woke up properly and glancing at my bedside clock, realised that it was late afternoon. I staggered to the bathroom and grimaced at my sleep-puffy face, unhappiness drawing lines across my face that hadn't been there before. I washed off my smeared make-up and brushed my hair into a ponytail. I had to get out into the fresh air. I pulled on baggy sweats and slipped out through the kitchen door while my mom was watching TV.

I ran circuits around the local park until my chest burned and my legs shook with fatigue. Eventually I had to stop before I got sick. I sank down onto a bench and gulped in huge draughts of oxygen. It felt as if I would never breathe freely again. Finally, I did manage to breathe normally. The relief was sweet. I wondered idly if I would feel this way a year from now, relieved that this time was over and somehow unable to recall exactly how miserable I was at the time. I'd read somewhere that human beings cannot remember pain because if they did, they would be in constant pain. If that were true I hoped it worked for emotional pain. I wished I could skip ahead to a time where my relationship with Thomas was a rather sad memory that I could not recall with clarity.

I sat on that bench until the sun set and the air grew cold and dark. I wasn't fully aware of where I was and who was around me. In retrospect, it was not the best idea to sit in a public park in the dark but at that point I just didn't care. I was very lucky that no one bothered me. I probably looked like a spaced out druggie in my sweat-soaked, dishevelled clothes.

Eventually I roused myself and walked home slowly. Oddly, I felt a little better. The punishing run and then the park bench meditation had actually helped to clear my head. I had to take action. Up until now I had allowed myself to be led by Thomas. Yes, I loved him, but that didn't mean I had to cede control of my life to him. I had allowed his over-powering personality to smother my own. How could I have put myself in that position? It was a sobering realisation that my need to be loved had blinded me to the toll that love would take on me, not to mention the devastating consequences for someone who had innocently blundered into the path of something he could never understand.

I had some tough decisions to make and soon I would find out if I had the strength to follow through.