All Comments on 'Charity'

A waste to time to read this pithy one page that sets nothing up and nothing has happened.

So far so good, but will there be more parts to this. I wouldn’t mind continuing reading more of there story and back story of who they are and how they grew up to become what they are now. Def should keep writing them.

It’s clear you’re very impressed with your own writing. But for what it’s worth (and I doubt much based on your inflated style), this heavy, on-the-nose expository writing was clumsy, clunky, very boring, and as a “story”, fell flat.

Although it was short I found it most engaging. As I read I hoped you intended to take this a lot further. Call this a preface to a much longer story. I am giving it five stars and look forward to the broader body of what could be a fascinating read.

I couldn’t put my finger on why this story irks me until I read the comments. Anonymous 1&2, you nailed it. There was no back story despite all this heavy-handed exposition, and it never became clear who these people are or why I should care. TBH, this was an irritating read; I couldn’t keep track who’s who, or what their past relationship was or what was the prior conflict that broke them up (were they ever dating???)— I’m a good reader; when I have to work this hard to figure out what’s going on, something’s wrong woth the story.

The title of this column is Lesbian sex. No mention of the worlds woes or problems. This story has no sex.

I was on the fence about giving this a 4 or a 5.

I get that it was for the 750 word project, I feel like this one would be a intro or something too a much longer story, but does not work at all as a stand alone story- yeah, it is not easy writing a compelling story in 750 words.

We do live life forward but understanding it it only backwards …. Missed opportunities hurt, but what happened if …. We never get those answers …. Loosing a love is a horrible scenario