All Comments on 'Chrismas Party-Fill in'
by L.A. Wicker
- 21 Comments
floaturboatover 14 years agoThanks Whicker for another great post. loved the story, the premiss and the hot mom! Very enjoyable.
Anonymousover 14 years agogood tale nice easy incest read ignore the detractors because they are stupid punctuation left out on purpose
digdaddyrichover 14 years agoA good solid foundation makes the characters believable. A good slow build-up and a good ending makes this a very good story. Thanks
Anonymousover 14 years agowithin the first couple paragraphs alone it was a grocery list of activities. this happened, then this happened, then this happened. it does establish a voice, but can be a bit much, especially when changing means of past tense. you write he did have a hot girl friend, cindy, but dumped her... so technically he didn't. find the juice, the real elements of the paragraphs and flush them out. the core items are there, they just need to be played with. thank you for writing it.
C_frommnover 14 years agoThis Story deffinately needs another Chapter did he or Did'nt he get Mom Preggers.. What about the 3 Guys at the Office did Ben get cut loose and the other 2 were they let go or Demoted to work under Jim ?
oldwayneover 14 years agoIt was a really good story. Screw the detractors who would nitpick! Most of the really good writers on this site do not give a flying fuck about grammatical errors. And if you ever thought of doing a sequel, this story could use one. Best regards!
Anonymousover 14 years agoI would like to see a second part to this story. Perhaps what happened to the guys he worked with. Or did someone recognize who she was at the party and was turned on and is know thinking of blackmail to work her way in to.. I thought it was a good read.
metallianabout 14 years agoYou are doing better each time. A very good story that should be contnued.
16gaugealmost 14 years agoReally great story, the way Allison, got her revenge for her son, was awesome. I am glad that they finally got everything together in the carriage.
Anonymousover 13 years agoAnother one of your great stories. And as a note to ""ANONYMOUS"". I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL (or if you did) BUT MOST PEOPLE WITH THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF INTELLIGENCE KNOW THAT THE NAME JIM IS THE ABBREVIATED FORM OF THE NAME JAMES.
Anonymousover 13 years agoAll I need to see is the disclaimer and I go no farther. Fiction. Can't somebody, anybody on this site even remotely make a pretense at telling a true story? WTF
InfiniteFoldingSpaceabout 11 years agoThat's just *absurdly* stupid.
There's not a single woman (especially one as clever as her) in the whole world who would blab that out to a bunch of strangers within 30 seconds of meeting them. What she's do is later on mention it to one of the other guy's dates.
Besides, who's worried about what a 350# slob thinks? Where's *his* date?
Anonymousover 10 years agoso glad she got the three stooges well and truly....something they wont forget in a hurry.....just one thing - where were their dates.....seemed odd they were on their own...all talk and no substance.....the ride in the carriage was sexy and a blast....long may they fuck together - even when she is big and pregnant....
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoThat's about the only thing that's not fit for the trash heap.
