by coaster2
REALLY.. A very good tale but given away by here last name. thanks for a lifting up story
Been there, done that. Not sure about the "secret" part - more likely Kirk was just being used and didn't realize it. Concise and well written - C2 captures the emotions that happen.
Nicely done story. It practically screams for a companion piece from the ex-wife's point of view though. Maybe the same caring woman getting the ex-wife's story the same way she got the ex-husband's?
There has to be a follow up....why was that woman interested in the story???
Good job.
You found the right words to present us your sensitive little story. Thank you!------------Bavarian
Agreed with the others, the story is great and nicely told.
Just wonder if the mysterious womand isn't the reason of the break up. Worth another sequel ? G.Belgium
Please take a few minutes or more and write an ending for this great little story. There are so many awfull stories on this site that should never have been written in the first place that go on and on, and you did a great one that really could use a second part. Mystery woman leaves him than visites ex wife explaining how she at least needs to give him some closure and let him know it wasn't his fault. Thanks!
You did to us exactly what the wife did to Kirk.
It held our attention but we will never know what
was hidden behind the events!
Great! Sort of O'Henry's style
Coaster:<p>Very nice little peek into this man's life. It felt as if I had come into the middle of a story someone was telling and found myself captivated enough to want to know just what I had missed.<p>Your prose was polished, especially the dialog. Your setting, a conversation in a car with a stranger while parked in a lot awash in Christmas snow, was original and unique. With the crispness of the chilled air outside, the mood better enabled me to perceive the angst caused by this man's heartbreak.<p>As others have already expressed, I will admit to wanting to know more about the dynamics of the dissolution of this man's marriage and to find out just who his mysterious confidante may be. But perhaps some things are better left unsaid.
Did nobody else get the significance of the woman's name? Laura KLAUS? She was a female Santa giving Kirk the gift of hope. Simple as that. Clever story, coaster.
A gem of writing! Tells the story that sometimes there just isn't a reason, that things happen just because.... It just goes to show that the good will continue on in life with positive results in increments. You and Papatoad are my favorites on this site.
I've read all the comments, I've thought considerably about the story, and I've, I'm convinced, looked at it completely objectively, but I still can't figure out the point of the story, or the reason you wrote it. Even though it was well written, I got absolutely nothing out of it. It seemed just like words filled with empty air. There was no argument or explanations from the lady, just possibilities and a very little conjecture. I'm sorry, coaster, but this is, I feel, your weakest work. I find it to be a chunk of pyrite in a normally rich gold vein.
On a positive note, it IS very well written, technically. I think that I will just stay with your better stuff, with the same good writing, and be entertained, at a minimum.
Regards.
It could be a first chapter of a three chapter story about WHY his ex divorced him. It sounds like she had a "secret" reason and it might be interesting to read about her motivations. I would speculate that she left to spare him some great embarrassment and / or hurt.
Perhaps this was intended as a multi-part story but the well ran dry or somesuch. Anyway, can't give it a very high rating.
My little take is contained in the last sentence of the second to last paragraph.
... then perhaps that is enough reason to have written it.
Story went right where it was supposed to go. It was Christmas Eve.
leaves you unsatisfied, but well written. like someone tossed the last 1/4 of the book away.
You made some very good points. It might have been better with. Part two to see why she left him...of course it.s not too late to fix that'll
Chilley
Not that it wasn't well written, but it feels SO incomplete. Like this was chapter one.
... of someone's life at a watershed. I like its open-endedness. It leaves so many possibilities open. Maybe he sought out his ex-wife and confronted the problem...maybe he just moved on with his life (stupid cliche;sorry.)
Then there's the mysterious woman - would he ever meet her again?
You have a knack of writing good interesting stories. Keep up the good work. Thankyou.
This cries out for a sequel where he/we finds out "the rest of the story."
She answered no questions. She merely made him see he had friends. She probably left to go eat his ex wifes pussy.
It was "Klaus." Probably as in "Mrs. Klaus." And it's Christmas time.
"She's hiding something ... something she's very afraid you'll find out; something much worse or much more important than infidelity."
They're divorced - why should she be afraid of anything he might find out?
Also, in so many of these stories when a husband wants to divorce a CHEATING wife he is forced to go through counseling, how was she able to divorce a good husband without even seeing him after her original pronouncement of wanting a divorce?
While it is a valid point "that some things can't always be understood," it STILL feels a bit like a cheat to leave us readers hanging.
Especially, as I said in my earlier comment, after giving us the tease about there maybe something WORSE than infidelity, but they are now divorced, so what harm can come from letting him know, just for his peace of mind, if she ever had feelings for him at all.
This could have been a great story BUT you left the reader hanging. The unexplained woman could have been some mystical or mythical figure out to help a young man.
What could have been worse than infidelity that caused a divorce. The only thing that I could come up with is that the wife had cancer or knew she was going to die and loved her husband so much that she wanted to protect him, so she made up the cheating to get him away from her. (This would have made it a great story if it was explored in depth.) But this is only my take on this story. There was not enough information to accurately draw any conclusions.
It's both thoughtful and very thought-provoking, and it's very well crafted. It gives us all things to think about, which I believe was the author's intent all along. So there's no reason to be critical of him for not filling in all the blanks.
As KarenE said, how can husbands of cheating wives be forced to go through counseling, bu a CHEATING wife of a GOOD husband can just walk away?
Good tale. Although we were never told I bet she was pregnant by her boyfriend.
Nice! I liked the DEM of having the female appear out of nowhere and disappear just as suddenly. OBS
I realize the uncertainty is a key part of your, but I'M dying to know why!
I mean it leaves you hanging, sure, but often that's the nature of a Flash/short story.
Just because it does leave wanting more I give it 4-stars. Nah, can't do that. It's just so short; hard to get much more in. 5-stars it is.
Good flash story but leaves more questions than it started with. She made a lightbulb go off in his head about some big secret his ex had. If this had not occurred to him before, how could he put it aside and not try to find this "secret"? I don't think I could refrain from looking into it further. Also, who is this woman? What is her stake in this? She just happened to be there and was concerned enough to talk to him?
It can't be that hard to find out who at least
Totally upset then over?
Was a US Marshal and the "X" was in witsec needing to be relocated without him for his safety,,,,,,,,? Just a thought.
This short story left you wanting more. Who was Laura Klaus and why did she appear out of nowhere and then just disappear in to thin air? 4 stars
I'm wishing there was more. Yeah, so now that you've teased us with a little "color" over who and what (might have) happened, I'm hoping for a next chapter.
The Christmas Angel? or Spirit? reminded me about my divorce. I didn't "sense" her feelings!!!!! That was the reason. 4 kids under 10 and "poof" all gone. Now I have 28 yrs. of happiness with wife #2 and she went thru 2 more husbands until getting back with her original college sweetheart. Life is funny?