Christmas Cracker

Hearing that certainly shortened the time he needed to get to the finish line as he pounded her juicy pussy as fast as he could. He came down upon her, grasping a handful of her hair and pulling her head back to press his lips down into her neck. She hadn't been expecting him to have the energy for that last gasp, and her body once again tensed up with a shuddering orgasm. As they came together, her large tits flattened up against his chest and slid between them with every deep thrust into her.

Finally, that burning fuse that she'd ignited inside him finally reached the end of its journey and he felt the fresh surge of his cum running up the length of his cock. Burying himself in her to the hilt on several strokes, he kissed her bare skin and held her tightly against him as he filled the condom with a copious amount of fresh cum.

They continued on for a couple more minutes as frantic fucking ceded to a slower and more comforting touch. Their lips found each other again and fell to a slow and indulgent kiss wherein each massaged the others tongue with their own.

It lasted until she finally pushed him up by his shoulders and offered him a stunning smile framed by kiss-swollen lips.

"Happy Christmas, Hugh."

"Happy Christmas, Trish."

"I think we have a slight problem now," she noted. "There's no way in hell I'm going to be able to wait until next year to do this again."

"Me either. I guess we'll have to find a way to get together before that. What are you doing for the next twelve months?"

"Well, as long as your schedule's clear I was rather hoping I'd be doing you quite a lot."

"Best. Boss. Ever."

They both fell to laughter at that, then she playfully shoved him backwards.

"Go on, or your potatoes will burn. Don't you even think about getting dressed either."

"Right back at you. Except..." He slipped out of her body and pulled off the condom before tying it off and walking over to the kitchen. After throwing it in a bin, he reached down to give her a great view of his ass. Then he turned back to throw something red, white and fluffy in her direction. "You can wear that."

She caught the Santa hat, and immediately set it on top of her head before striding over to join him for their naked Christmas dinner.

* * * * *

"And now it's nearing ten o'clock here in the studio, so we'll go back and see how Maria Rodriguez is getting on out in the country. Still waiting for Santa to show there, Maria?"

The camera changed from David's rather smug image to a much more cheerful view of Maria who now appeared to be stepping out of a tent. Her stride had a slight wobble to it, as if perhaps she'd been indulging in a little too much spiced cider. Behind her, the song "Jingle Bell Rock" was being sung inside the tent.

Maria cleared her throat and straightened out her hair before lifting her microphone to her lips and offering the camera a broad smile.

"We sure are, David! But as you'll see there seems to have been a bit of Christmas magic happening out here already."

"Oh? How's that?" The screen had split and David didn't seem to notice as he continued shuffling his papers on his desk.

"It started when a group of the visitors decided to build a snowman out here, and then... I suppose we'd better just show you!"

The camera panned away from Maria to a cheering circle of people who were all clapping in time with some music. In the middle of the large circle, a snowman was happily dancing to the tune.

"Uh, huh." David nodded, glancing up half-heartedly before looking back down at his papers. "That's great, Maria. I guess it's..."

Slowly, David lifted his head again to see the snowman plainly on the camera. Every time the big figure kicked its feet a fresh flurry of snowflakes rained down on the people. They cheered him on happily. David's eyes widened at the sight of the thing, and his jaw fell open as it turned and waved to the camera.

"H-how...!?" His mouth had suddenly gone very dry for the first time in what had been quite a long career of news casting.

"We have no idea!" Maria gleefully announced. "We think maybe it's some kind of trick? A few people tried to get near him to give it a poke and see if it was a guy in a suit or something. Except when they tried a crowd of other people started booing them and they gave up. We asked the people who made him, but they just said it was a regular snowman. I guess we'll never know now-"

She was interrupted then as something seemed to happen off-screen. The camera blurred as it tried to refocus on Maria. A number of other people had just burst forth from the tent, all wearing excited smiles and looking up to the sky.

"Maria!?" David asked, now thoroughly engrossed and having forgotten to change the story to talk about his special report on the many different ways people had accidentally killed themselves on Christmas morning whilst trying to cook a turkey. "Maria! What is it?"

"Bells!" the reporter responded without looking back at the camera. "Can't you hear them? And it's... it's..."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!"

The camera panned up to the clear night sky above, and then they saw him. The reindeer panned into view first, their hooves kicking up a glowing golden dust from the clear night air beneath them. Then they saw the great red sleigh and the familiar bearded face of Santa himself. He took the reins in one hand, and waved to the people below with the other. Beside him, an elf was also waving with both hands and everyone watching the newsfeed heard a lyrical feminine voice yell:

"Holy shit! We're on TV!" The news crew were apparently not so hot with the bleep button just then as they had been with Tulip.

Shortly after that, she leaned too far over the side of the sleigh to get a better look into the camera and nearly fell out. Thankfully, a big hand reached out to grab her belt and pull her back inside with a little yelp.

Despite the sudden use of bad language, for which the studio would surely be receiving angry letters, the channel oddly didn't go back to David in the studio. Instead, the cameraman followed Santa through the night sky. On the next pass, the elf had moved into the back and was throwing out presents to the people below. Each present was brightly wrapped and deployed a tiny parachute on the way down to float gracefully to the land.

On the ground, the crowd had begun a big cheer. "Santa! Santa! Santa!"

On the fourth pass, Santa waved at everyone once again.

"Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Then he took the reins in both hands as his companion retook her seat behind him. When he gave them an encouraging flick, the sleigh jolted forward and then disappeared with a great whoosh of air and a flash that took them off into the night.

The camera refocused on Maria again. Like everyone else, she'd caught a present which was strangely addressed to her by name. She was holding it under one arm. For a few moments, she just looked between the sky and the camera. Then she shrugged and let out a long breath.

"I... I don't quite know what to tell you there, David. I guess this year, Santa Claus really is coming to town." With that, Maria threw down her microphone and walked off camera to open her present.

Shortly after that, the feed went black. Though the sound could still be heard, as people had broken out into a chorus of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."

* * * * *

Just after midnight, at a gas station out in the middle of nowhere, Santa parked up his sleigh nearby and looked over to Callie.

"Right then, hurry up! And bring the reindeer some snacks if they have anything."

"Thanks, Santa!" She leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek before hopping off the sleigh to run over to the station.

Since he had a moment, he stepped down from the sleigh himself and went across to check on the reindeer. They were clearly itching to get back into the sky, but they didn't complain as he gave each one a pat on their heads. It was only when he finally got to Rudolph that one of his antlered friends spoke up.

"Sir, is this really necessary?" Rudolph asked.

"To be honest? No. It's just that Callie has never been away from the North Pole and she clearly wants to stretch her legs down here. We can't really do that properly whilst we're delivering, so I thought we could stop a while. She says she has a hankerin' for beef jerky." Santa chuckled.

"Oh, I see!" Rudolph nodded, seeming happier to indulge Callie's eccentricities than to simply stand around without really knowing why.

"Someone's coming!" Blitzen called out from behind Rudolph. Both he and Donner were focused on a man approaching them from the gas station.

Santa turned his attention to the figure, and didn't find him quite so intimidating to look upon. He was walking from a custom painted Volkswagen Type 2 that looked like it had just driven out of the 60s. It was such a classic "hippie van" that it even had the peace symbol emblazoned on the front directly below the windshield.

The man himself was almost as much of a walking stereotype as his van was. Long, dark hair was smoothed out with the help of a brightly coloured head-band. An equally long beard was also on display, which combined with a pair of round sunglasses to hide most of his face. There was only a hint of an olive complexion beneath, although his smile was plainly visible and he seemed to have a naturally disarming appearance. He wore a long, multicoloured overcoat with an equally fluorescent t-shirt. Some green pants happily finished the whole-hearted insult to modern fashion, and a pair of worn sandals finished the look. The sandals were a particularly odd choice given the two inches of snow on the ground. Though it didn't seem to bother him so much.

"Dude! That is one sweet ride!" the man joked as he approached.

He had a calming voice, and it came across as friendly and relaxed despite the obviously odd circumstances.

"Oh? Well, thank you!" Santa laughed and the man's smile broadened. "Easy, you two."

Both Donner and Blitzen had clear little sparks of electricity crackling between their antlers as the man got nearer, but on Santa's orders they visibly calmed and raised their heads to regard the stranger.

"That is so cool. Look at the carvings on the sleigh, man! You mind?" He seemed like he was going to jump on before he stopped to ask permission.

"No, go ahead. Though I must be going soon, once my friend gets back. It's a busy night for me. I'm sure you understand." Santa smiled and walked back past the reindeer to stand beside the sleigh.

"Mmmhmm, yeah dude, totally. This is so far out!"

He watched the happy hippie look over the front of the vehicle at the intricately carved symbols and images of Christmas that decorated the wood. It was a slightly odd reaction, given that he'd just met a guy in the middle of the road dressed as Santa with nine reindeer. Especially when the lead reindeer had a rather inexplicably glowing red nose.

The man rummaged around inside the sleigh for a few minutes before emerging with a red and green thermos full of Callie's home made hot chocolate. Santa saw his arm pop up from beneath the front of the sleigh, holding the flask victoriously.

"Score!" Yelled the hippie, following up his arm by sitting upright. "Dude, you mind? I'm out here in freakin' sandals."

Santa chuckled at that and then shook his head. "No, go ahead. Just don't drink it all or you'll have an elf after you looking for revenge."

"Righteous." He nodded solemnly and uncapped the thermos to take a drink and then hum with relief as the heated chocolate warmed him down to his core. "Man, this is the good stuff. This, a couple of J's, and some candy bars? Heaven."

"It's important to enjoy the simple things in life." Santa nodded to the man.

The hippie contentedly took another quick drink from the flask before screwing the lid back into place and putting it back where he found it. Soon thereafter he hopped back from the sleigh and landed in the snow again before walking to stand beside Santa. He took a regular smoke from a pack inside his long coat and offered one. Santa declined politely with a shake of his head.

"Will it bother these dudes?" the guy asked whilst cocking a thumb to the reindeer.

"Someone fired a surface to air missile at us over Russia and that didn't seem to bother them. So I think you'll be fine."

"Awesome." He lit up a smoke and breathed it out into the night air. "Thanks for the drink, man. You're pretty cool for a Santa Claus guy."

That got a raised eyebrow. "You meet many Santas in your time?"

"A few." He chuckled and took another drag of his cigarette. "Honestly? The last one I met was kind of an asshole."

The big man's head dropped slightly, but then he nodded. "Yeah, I hear that. Not all of us Santas are really up to the job. I'm giving it the best I've got though, and it seems to be going well so far. I'll pay a visit to the one who's giving me a bad name. Where did you see him?"

The hippie smiled again and then shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, man. It was a while ago now."

"Ah well, I'll make sure us Santas try to do better for you in future."

"Right on, brother. Hey, here's a twist!" He put his cigarette between his lips and then fiddled around with the rather large collection of home-made jewellery he kept around his neck. After a while, he pulled one of them over the top of his head and held it out to Santa.

It was a simple black piece of string suspending a simple wooden peace sign made of old oak that had been lovingly varnished. It had also clearly seen quite a lot of the road, judging from its somewhat worn condition.

"This saw Hendrix play at Woodstock. Been with me for a long while now. Merry Christmas, dude."

"Woodstock? I wouldn't have said you looked that old." Santa looked him over again, he barely looked like he was scraping 35.

"Yeah well it was my dad's. Now it's yours."

"Oh, are you quite sure? Thank you." Santa took it after the man nodded rather insistently.

He didn't quite know what he'd do with a necklace emblazoned with a peace-sign medallion, but for the time being he took his hat off to put it over the top of his head. Then he looked back over to the stranger and narrowed his eyes slightly. For the first time since they'd met, Santa noticed something very odd about the man. Ok, the guy was obviously rather strange which was probably what made it hard for him to notice what was so odd about him.

Santa realised he had absolutely no idea who the man was. On that night, when he thought he knew the name of every man, woman and child on Earth. He knew if they were naughty, or if they were nice. He knew what they wanted more than anything in the world.

Except he had no clue about any of that when it came to the strange hippie, although he guessed a pack of fresh smokes might have been appreciated. Still, it wasn't very polite to go asking about such things, and the man had been nothing but kind since he arrived.

"I suppose I'd better get your present then, eh?" he walked over to the rear of the sleigh where his sack full of goodies was waiting.

"My present?" The guy raised a brow at that, seeming pleasantly surprised. "What I want is kind of hard to fit into the back of a sleigh."

"Oh? What is it that you want?" Santa asked whilst rummaging around.

"Y'know. Peace on Earth. Good will toward all people. The usual hippie crap."

"Yes, well that is difficult for even me to swing. Aha!" Santa pulled out a large wrapped present. "But these will have to suffice in the mean time."

He offered the gift to the man, who looked like he hadn't received a present in a very long time as he took it and appreciated the wrapping. Tearing it open, he saw a pair of freshly made and slightly fluffy winter boots.

"Awesome!" He immediately shucked off his sandals and put his feet in the boots one at a time. "Oh, man. That feels way better! How'd you know?"

"I didn't, but I packed some extra winter clothes for the poor this year. You seemed like you could use them."

"Right on." He did a little dance to test the new boots before picking up his sandals. "That's a pretty great idea, y'know? But since when did Santa make a point of visiting the poor?"

"We're trying out something slightly new this year."

"Man, that's so radical." He lifted up a hand for a high-five which Santa happily gave. "Thanks so much! I gotta get goin' though. Nice meeting you, Santa. Merry Christmas!"

"And to you!"

The man started walking away toward his van, but turned and walked backward to smile at Santa and wave.

"Hey, if we're buds now then I figure you still owe me a present!"

"Oh?" Santa chuckled. "How's that?"

The man hopped in his van and turned on the ignition before reversing out into the road smoothly.

"Because it's not just Christmas for me!"

"No?" Santa laughed along with his friend, who seemed to find it rather amusing.

"No! It's also my birthday!"

"Oh? Ho! Ho! Ho! Then I suppose I do owe you a..." Santa stopped waving, stopped laughing and suddenly went very quiet as the van drove away down the road. The man inside offered him one final wave before departing.

He stood there as if frozen solid as he watched the van disappear down the road. Then he blinked a few times before shaking his head.

"Nah," he said to himself.

* * * * *

The sleigh arrived home just as the Sun was rising over the Pacific Ocean. The secret door opened wide, and they descended into the tunnel that took them to the deep workshops beneath the ice. Arriving in the stables, they saw that the elven party had clearly been a good one. The reindeer nimbly danced over fallen streamers and empty cups. The sleigh ploughed them out of the way easily enough, and they slowed until they came to an elf who had fallen over and passed out in the track. Rudolph lowered his head and gave the elf a nudge with his red nose. It startled the drunk so much that he leapt up to his feet and wobbled a bit again before falling over in the opposite direction. At least he was out of the way.

Santa and Callie looked over the mess and saw things had quietened down. Apparently telling elves they were free to have as much sex as they liked and then letting them have a party was a recipe for an imminent orgy. Quite a few of them were still happily going at it like rabbits when they returned. Although his return did get some response as Elina and a few others came over to greet him.

"Welcome back, Santa." Elina bowed to him respectfully. "That was a job as well done as I've ever seen it."

"Thank you. I see our rule about not fornicating in the workplaces has been relaxed then?"

"I'm afraid you deemed this a party-place before you left and it's been treated as such. Although I do have a surprise for you both."

"Oh?" Callie leaned over the front of the sleigh to see, her pointy ears perking up at the promise of a surprise.

"Yes, it's up in the grotto. You see, it's been so nice to get back to work again like it used to be that I asked for volunteers for one last job after you left. To thank you for your kindness to us."

"Ho, ho, ho! That wasn't necessary Elina, but I'm deeply touched. Shall we go on up to the grotto then?" Santa said.

"Er, ok..." Callie looked a bit worried at that. "But I kinda wanted to give you my present first when we got back."

"We won't be long, Callie," Elina promised. "And I suppose that it's also a present for you in a way. It's more of-"

She didn't get to explain further as Callie gracefully hopped over the sleigh to land in front of her and immediately started dragging the taller Elina up to the grotto.

"My present!? Come on then! What the hell are we waiting for!?" She tugged the high elf on toward the doors much to the amusement of the others.

Santa hopped down and saw that the elves were already seeing to the reindeer. He took a moment to give each one a pat on the head and a personal thanks for the journey before taking his leave. Callie had already dragged Elina off up to the grotto, and when he arrived at the front door he saw that the redhead had gone inside. Elina herself was standing just outside the door, and she gestured him on inside.