by Dennis_St_John
Enjoyable story. Very good build up and background on the characters. You have painted a very good picture of what the book shop and street shops look like. Looking forward to seeing what you have planned next. A few minor tense and spelling errors but overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. Waiting impatiently for chapter 2.
~S
This has been a great read. I appreciate your allowing me as reader to decide what a place would look like by using language to develop an image in my thinking. Again, great job!
Well written. Nice build. Eloquent. This is not even my normal genre, but whew! Exciting. So many nice elements coming together in this story.
Excellent read, I like the build-up. Now I am wondering about him mentioning Cindy's Mother...
I like that he is a "Daddy" figure. That is hot, and she is so lost in her life she needs guidance. I am glad you didn't describe her as a hot blonde with huge tits. [Not that there's anything wrong with that ;-) ]
Fine writing. I would like to have heard what was gong through his mind as her ass came in to view, and maybe a litte of what he planned for her in the future.
Chilley.
I didn't know what to expect from the way this story opened but I'm so glad I stayed with it! You write so very well and your settings and everything else just seem to 'fit' where so many others don't.
Thank you for sharing your obvious talent with us and please bring us Chapter 2 soon!
I love the restraint you've shown in this first chapter. The writing is awesome and I can't wait for another installment.
One of the better examples of actual literature in this site. I am looking forward to the next instalment
Please continue the storyline, I await eagerly you next chapters. :-)
I'm enjoying the story a great deal . I'm looking forward to the rest . But if she finds she enjoys the punishment which seems to be the case won't she start damaging his very expensive stock to get more punishment ?
I always enjoy the power of a slow-moving but well directed story. We know already that she's put herself on a track she can't get off.