All Comments on 'Claiming an Ally Ch. 03'

I love the way you write. Please keep up the excellent work. I can't wait to see Jenner exposed. Thanks again for providing such wonderful entertainment.

Great plot, and written so well. I love how you develop the character and played with their feelings. Keep it like this. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!

Can't wait to see how Em feels when she wakes up. Jenner is on SOB, hope he gets caught. Keep it coming :-)

I hate to bitch, because this is otherwise a great story, but dropping into magic dick syndrome where an orgasm is enough to make an intelligent and educated princess not only forget that she's about to be raped by someone she has reason to believe is planning to invade, slaughter and rape the rest of her family and kingdom is painful. Really, if she actually falls in love with this idiot BEFORE Jenner's plotting is exposed for what it was, it's going to lower the quality of this story badly. She needs to come to her senses when the sex is done, because she's gone completely stupid in a way that makes no sense in context of the character you've written.

Withholding final judgment until further chapters come out, because it feels like you're derailing an otherwise decent non-con story. This was expected, but the whole oh my god i orgasmed so everything's fine now and i'll just be the murdering rapists sex slut slave sucks. This kind of sequences is something I'd expect in a Romance or a BDSM. Not non-con.

Wow! This series is great and the sex was HOT!!! However, I have to agree with the other comment about "magic dick syndrome." I totally second that it is inconsistent with your characterization of her that she completely forgets about the way he's been treating her as soon as he touches her. It also infuriates me when he said, "I'll never understand your reluctance." Uhm, maybe because you've been torturing her for two days, made it clear you intend to murder her and destroy everyone and everything she loves? I hope in the next chapters she regains her sanity and justifiable anger and he realizes that he has been a sadistic douchebag and feels some much deserved guilt. That being said I really do love the series. You are a very talented writer and I hope you continue and continue soon!

I'm loving this story so far! Well done!

The only criticism I have is that sometimes, you use words that don't fit the era I envision the story to be in. Words like "okay", "awesome" and even "g-spot" shake me out of the story and bring me back to reality and that's not what should happen.

Besides that, I am SO looking forward to reading more of your work!

..... For the next chapter!!! Absolutely loving this story.

If the only complaints everyone has are magic dick syndrome and anachronisms, then by all means, please keep writing! Just being able to read a more than decent story with near-perfect grammar is already quite a gift to give us. I hope I can continue to be selfish and expect even more from you.

I've just finished reading the first three chapters and I'm happy to say that I'm very pleased. A lot of you're writing is very precise and articulate and there are, if any, few errors in spelling and grammar. Anyways I'm glad that you're posting quite frequently and hopefully you'll continue to release more work.

Very much enjoyed the first three chapters. Please keep writing.

Please keep writing. This is the best story I have read on this site in a while!

looking forward to the next chapter!

please continue! i want to find out how he will react once he finds out the truth. They should keep going at at the mean time.

I finished reading the three chapters you released and I'm pretty impressed. Sounded well thought out with loose ends that could go either way. I was surprised that Em believed what Jen had to say: she knew he was a traitor and wanted the war to happen... Why she fell for his manipulations, I don't know. Whether it's her doubting her and his feelings for the other or her pride at thinking Ed tricked her into thinking he's into her, etc.. And I'm sitting here wondering if he'd be cruel after knowing that no, she's not a seductress (proven by her virginity) and the way he showed tenderness when he found out that she was... you know, a virgin. Anyway, keep the chapters coming please! Lol, 10 days when before you had like 3-4... I'm a little worried here. :P

I know the length has grown between the posting dates of the new chapter. When I first posted, I had about two and a half chapters written, so I was ahead of the curve. Now I'm playing a little catch up. I submitted ch 4 last night so it should become available in about three days. I'm starting ch 5 today, so it may be ready to submit the day 4 is released, though there is no guarantee :)

God danmet. I hate that cocksucker Jenner for fucking over their relationship :(. I really hope that they reconcile or whatever before more bad shit happens. And still this doesn't feel like nonconsent even though he "technically" raped her? she still wanted it, hell she didn't even say no. But seriously they need to get their shit together and I hope Jenner gets killed.

Ummm she was pulled from his horse and dragged, as well as beaten, yet she felt no pain when kissing him and fell into his arms even though he was glad she was beaten and manhandled her? What a weak slut

I somehow know that he is going to rip her heart out in the next chapter. I so don't want to see that happen. But it is already written.

hehe i stand corrected about the nonconsent. i love the gritty, dark feel of this story and your writing brings the setting to life - its much more credible than many stories on this site.

I can't believe after you made her so strong that you made her such a wimp that she would actually ask him to have sex. She was such a lovely strong character. And it changed what was about to be a beautiful forced seduction into a consentual scene.

I don't think that she is weak. She had feelings for him and was confused about it. Jenner was just a manipulative asshole. I don't think her breaking down makes her weak. She has been treated horribly.

Loved it!!

It's your story so it can be as unrealistic as you want, but first you have her severely beaten unconscious by Jenner, shivering uncontrollably in wet clothes, rubbed raw from riding in said wet clothes (& trust me, she would have been raw in that situation), dragged behind a horse until her clothes are shredded, without any nourishment save a scrap of jerky, her hymen savagely broken, but due to yet another Magic Dick Moment all that pain is forgotten and she knows just how to stuff his cock in her pussy to climax. Honestly, couldn't she at least had a meal and a chance to heal a little? Really disappointing compared to the rest of the storyline.

FYI, a king sits on a throne. Thrown is the past tense of throw.

I love the story and yet I’ve got to agree with others, you totally trashed her character. Strong intelligent independent woman who’s been brutalised, beaten, dragged around in wet clothes and starved would not be up for sex particularly when she’s expecting more pain and death. The magic cock cliche is so depressing.

The treachery of Jenner was expected. One of the things I found really odd was them travelling solo, kings do not travel without guards at the very least there would have been be outriders.

Firstly, the manipulation by Jenner and how he manages to confuse both King and Princess is written very well, logically though both are intelligent esp. the princess, and both distrust Jenner, still Jenner took benefit of doubt.

But Emera's character is a gem, has been all through the chapters, it is so unique and refreshing but when it came to sex, her character did a 180 degree turn and became the cliche literotica character where vagina just can't not live without a cock, even though the strong princess is beaten, starved and betrayed , eye roll. This could have been much better if princess was kept in line with her character.