Climbing Jacob's Ladder

"Okay, let me understand this. Are you saying you'd date a woman my age, for example?"

"I don't know how old you are, but yes, I'd definitely date someone your age. Well, if she looked like you, that is," he said continuing to smile. "Why? Would you not be willing to date someone my age?"

Kristen found herself wanting to say 'no' and be done with it or at least change the subject. Instead she told him, "Maybe." She paused and then said, "If he looked like you."

"Ah-hah! I am growing on you!" he said almost triumphantly.

"And don't say the fungus thing again, okay? That was old back when you were young." Jake laughed then ducked as Kristen reached for something to throw at him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop," Jake told her.

He changed the subject and asked her, "So...do you like pets?"

"I have a cat named Frisky that I dearly love."

"I see. You immediately told me you love your cat but not your boyfriend with whom things are...serious. Interesting."

Kristen narrowed her eyes in an attempt to be mad but wasn't pulling it off.

"I have a dog I dearly love and Rebecca whom I love more than anything on earth. But neither one of them does much for me on those long, lonely nights. I guess you're very lucky to have...Geoffrey." His British accent was so heavy and overdone Kristen couldn't help but chuckle.

Then he added, "Because, you know, he's...tall."

That was followed by one more big smile and as she sat there wanting to defend her decisions, Kristen realized he was right.

Jake had struck a nerve. Nighttime was the worst; going to bed all alone hoping to fall asleep trying not to think about being there by yourself. She had a security alarm system which helped in terms of feeling safer, but it wasn't the same as having her husband there beside her.

And then there was the issue of intimacy and sharing a deep connection with that special someone. While Geoffrey was a decent guy, he rarely seemed interested in spending the night with her and when he did, she was rarely lucky enough to um—get lucky.

And that's when it really hit her. What if she was wrong? What if true love hadn't passed her by but was, say...staring her right in the face? Even so, she wasn't ready to throw in the towel without a decent fight.

"He may not be a knight in shining armor, but he's very...nice. Besides, dating is like having to go through hell to get to heaven and there's no guarantee you'll ever get there," she told him. "Geoffrey made it easy to like him. No drama, no games, no..."

"No...love?" Jake offered. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. You might well be very happy with Geoffrey. After all, he is tall, right?"

This time Kristen didn't even react. She just sat there imagining the life she'd often thought about having with Geoffrey. Two hard-working professionals away at work most of the time who played a kind of 'zone defense' when it came to the other person. They'd be in each other's lives, but no one would get too personal or too close. They'd live very comfortably as the money piled up and would find their greatest satisfactions in their successes in business; successes they could share and celebrate together.

What had previously seemed more than satisfactory and rather simple now felt cold and very lonely.

Jake broke her out of her deep thoughts. "Kristen? There are no guarantees of any kind in life. Well, there's one, but we've already talked about death more than either of us needs to. I'm with you on the whole dating thing. It would be great if we had some kind of internal meter that told us whenever we were near someone who would be an ideal match. Then you could just ask the other person if their meter was telling them the same thing and be done with it."

"That sounds awfully sterile," she said before realizing she'd just been complaining about how 'icky' it was finding someone the old-fashioned way. "I know, I know. Typical woman, right? She doesn't want this, but complains about that. Sorry, Jake. I seem to be a little off my game today."

"That's okay. People are complex. So is life for that matter. Everything is constantly changing and the way I see it, how well we adapt to change largely determines how happy we'll be. But that doesn't imply settling for something because it's easy and claim we gave it our best. We need to live life to its fullest. Go for the gusto and all that. If we fail, we get up and try again. But settling for something less than we what really want is...well, it's not much better than being dead."

Kristen sat there trying to sort through everything she was feeling and realized that's exactly what she'd done with Geoffrey. In her heart of hearts she wanted a husband who would love her passionately and more than anything she still wanted children. Telling herself that ship had sailed was the ultimate in self deception.

"That's an incredibly insightful observation. How old did you say you were again?" she asked before taking another bite of her sandwich.

"Does it matter?" Jake asked now smiling again.

"Perhaps not as much as I thought it did," she said now feeling very confused.

"I'm 28," he told her. "Just in case it really does matter."

They politely chatted as they finished their lunch avoiding any more deep, heavy, philosophical topics. When they finished, Kristen tried to insist on paying, but Jake wouldn't have it.

"Then at least let me leave the tip," she said.

"I can live with that," he told her pleasantly as he went around to help her with her chair.

"Hmmm. Handsome, generous, and a gentleman," she said as he offered her his hand to stand up.

"Did you just call me handsome?" he said quietly as she stood up.

"Maybe," she replied as she turned around. She was momentarily face to face with Jake and as their eyes met, something fluttered inside her.

"Um...excuse me," she said stepping aside. "Thank you for lunch and for the exposure to a little slice of Americana."

"Huh. And here I thought you ordered Provolone," he said trying to deliver the corny line about her choice of cheese in a deadpan fashion.

"Oh, my goodness! Please don't quit your day job. That was the worst yet!" she said unable to avoid laughing.

"And yet you're here to ensure I do quit my day job," he reminded her happy knowing he'd made her smile again.

He helped her with her coat then looked down at his watch.

"This thing has seen its better days. Do you have the time?" he asked Kristen. She smiled then pointed to the large clock right over his head. "Oh...duh," Jake said.

"I'll run out and start the truck. Just wait here until I give you the thumbs up," he told her.

"No, that's okay. I'll tough it out with you," she told him not knowing why she said it. Then again, maybe she was just unwilling to admit the reason why she found herself wanting to stay with him.

"Do you want to go back to the factory or head over to my mom's place?" Jake asked as they got back on the road.

"I should probably go back to work with you. I have my laptop and phone with me and when Mr. Jacobs calls, I want to be able to present his offer to you ASAP. No offense, but I don't want to be stuck here on Christmas day."

"Oh, right. You've got Geoffrey and your cat...Frisky...to get back to," Jake said trying not to smile.

Kristen playfully hit him and said, "And just when I thought I was starting to like you."

"Ha! I could tell you liked me!" Jake said now smiling his normal, big old smile.

"Oh! Well, aren't we just full of ourselves over there!" she said trying to sound indignant.

"Just sayin'," he told her.

"Yeah, right. In your dreams," she told him.

"No...in yours," he countered smiling at her until she couldn't help laughing.

"Okay, I'll admit you have a kind of...boyish charm about you."

"And you like my dimples, too, right?" he said keeping it going.

"Dimples? I hadn't noticed," she said pretending she hadn't looked at them every time he'd smiled since they met.

"Uh-oh. Someone just told a fib," he said shaking his finger at her.

Kristen didn't know what else to do but laugh—or blush—so she opted for the former just as her phone rang.

"It's my boss," she said suddenly getting very serious as she accepted the call.

"Mr. Jacobs? How was your flight, sir?"

"Fine, fine. What's going on with this deal, Kristen? Why haven't you wrapped this up yet?"

"I'm actually riding back to the factory with the owner as we speak, sir," Jake heard her say.

"What's the hold up? Why hasn't he agreed to our terms?"

She tried to turn sideways and talk more quietly.

"It's the relocation issue, Mr. Jacobs. He's adamant about not relocating because of the job losses. He really cares about these p..."

"Kristen? Your job is to close this deal. I've offered more money. I can offer an increase in the severance packages, but that's it. Tell him we'll give them three months. If that fails—but only if fails, offer him six. It'll take us an extra year to recover the additional outlay upfront, but it still works for us. Beyond that it doesn't. I hope I'm clear because I've got a meeting to get to and you know what's at stake for your career. Good luck and don't let me down."

The phone went dead and that was it.

"That was short and sweet," Jake said with yet another smile.

"Did you hear any of that?" she asked almost afraid to ask.

"Only every word," he told her.

"Great. Then you know I don't have any leverage left. We can give your employees a six-month severance package, but that's it. Jake, this is a really good deal. Please take it."

"Good for who?" Jake said. "Or is that 'whom'? I graduated from college but still get stuck on some of those grammar issues."

"Can you please be serious? For just a moment anyway?" Kristen pleaded.

"All right. I'll think it over and let you know," he told her just as they were pulling back into the factory's parking lot.

"That's wonderful! Thank you, Jake," she told him sincerely. "I'll just wait in that same room while you mull it over."

"No, it's gonna take more than a few minutes or even a few hours," he told her.

"Oh. Okay. Um...how many more hours?" she asked.

"I'd say maybe seventy-two?"

"What? Seventy-two? Jake, that'll leave me stuck here through Christmas. You can't do that to me," Kristen said.

"Are you worried about your cat?" he asked back to smiling again.

"Don't be mean. I'm serious. How could you do that to me?" she asked in a kinder tone.

"Kristen, I'm not doing anything to you. I have the lives of a bunch of very real people to think about here. Six months isn't a bad offer, but compared to many more years of steady employment, it's not much. You've seen several of my employees and met a couple of them. They're not generally the kind who can be retrained and find jobs as computer programmers or something comparable. They're good, decent, hard-working people with maybe a high-school education. If I take this deal, many of them will have a hard time finding any job, let alone one with a comparable salary and I doubt any of them will find one with a benefits package like we offer. So please, give me some time to really think this through."

He shut off the engine, looked over at her and said, "Please?"

"Okay," Kristen replied very quietly. "You're right. This is a very important decision and it's not about me."

"Thank you, Kristen. And look on the bright side. Now you can come to the Christmas party!"

"Yeah. Right. Gee, lucky me," she said forgetting Jake had no intention of going as he jumped out to get her door.

"You know what?" she said when he opened it. "Maybe it would be better if I went back to your mom's place. There's no need for me to hang around here all day now."

"Okay. I'll go back around and take you home. Sorry. To my mom's."

Neither of them spoke on the ride, but Kristen did thank him for taking her just before he walked her inside.

Her gloomy mood improved significantly when Rebecca ran to meet them when they walked in. Her frustration drained away when the little girl gave her a huge hug and asked her if she wanted to play a game with her.

"Can you stay too, Daddy?" she asked hopefully.

"Sorry, honey. I have to get back to work, but I can probably get home before six o'clock tonight."

"That's okay," Rebecca said. "Kristen and I can play together. Hey! Maybe we get Grandma to play, too. Do you like Monopoly or Clue?"

"I love Clue!" Kristen said. "I say it was...Colonel Mustard with the pipe in The Conservatory!"

"Come on, then. Let's go play!"

Rebecca started pulling Kristen down the hall, then remembered something.

She ran back and hugged her dad.

"I love you, Daddy!" she told him.

"I love you, too, sweetheart," he said kissing the top of her head. "And take it easy on Miss Kristen. She's had a pretty tough day."

He smiled at the beautiful older woman who found herself smiling back.

"See you later, Jake, and thank you again for lunch."

"Where did you go for lunch?" he heard Rebecca asking as he closed the door behind him.

Abby only had an hour to spend with them before it was time to start in on other chores, but Kristen couldn't believe how much fun she had doing something so simple. And yet after Abby left them alone, she found herself enjoying her time with Rebecca even more. They switched from Clue to Monopoly and the next three hours just flew by.

Rebecca was just such a pleasure to be around. She was happy, friendly, and as sweet as could be. They played and laughed and even hugged several times. At one point, Kristen's heart was so full it felt like it would burst.

"Are you okay, Miss Kristen?" Rebecca asked when she saw her blinking all of a sudden.

"Oh, yes. I must have gotten something in my eye. That's all. I'm fine, honey," she told her.

"Okay. I thought you were crying."

"No. I'm fine," Kristen said putting on a brave smile. "Why would I be crying when we're having so much fun?"

She rolled the dice and moved her token.

"Well, not anymore," Rebecca said. "You just landed on Park Place and I have a hotel there so...pay up, please!"

"Aghhh! I believe I'm broke," Kristen said handing her every dollar and piece of property she had left.

"So why do I feel so enriched?" she said quietly.

"You're not rich," Rebecca said. "You're poor. I'm rich!'

"Can I get another hug?" Kristen asked rather than explain the meaning of 'enrichment'.

"Yeah, I guess. They're free all day today!"

Kristen held on so tight Rebecca made a wheezing noise.

"Sorry, sweetie," she said letting her go. "I just had such a good time!"

"Me, too," she said. "I wish you were staying for the Christmas party."

"Would you really like me to go?" Kristen asked as she sort of straightened Rebecca's hair with her fingers.

"It would be so awesome if you could, but you have to leave, right?" Rebecca said trying not to sound too sad.

"Well...it looks like I might be staying a little longer than I thought. So I suppose...well, if your dad wanted me to go, I could maybe..."

"So you'll go? Really? I'm so happy!" Rebecca said throwing her arms back around her.

This time, Kristen's eyes were glistening with tears, but she didn't care.

"You know, you're like the daughter I always wanted but never had," she said quietly as she hugged the sweet girl she was growing very attached to.

"I could be your daughter. If you wanted me to," Rebecca said innocently.

"Oh, honey. Your dad is so much younger than me and your mom was so pretty. I doubt he thinks of me like..."

"You're pretty, too," she said still hugging her. "You're just as pretty as my mom. Hey! When I say my prayers tonight I'm going to put in a good word for you. That's what my dad calls it when you want God to do something for someone."

"Yes. Please do that, okay?" Kristen said still blinking away tears.

Neither of them heard Jake come home early nor did they know he was standing just outside Rebecca's door. He'd fully intended to walk straight in and say hello, but when he heard them talking so quietly he stopped and listened.

Now he was the one blinking back tears. Rather than walk in, he turned around and walked quickly back down the hallway wiping his eyes as he went. He spun around and pretended to have just walked up the stairs when the girls came out together holding hands.

"Well, there you two are!" Jake said. "How'd it go?"

"Daddy, we had so much fun. Miss Kristen won at Clue but I beat the pants off her in Monopoly!'

"She did," Kristen admitted. "I'm penniless and propertyless."

"Nice job, sweetie," Jake said as he scooped her up.

"Guess what, Daddy? Miss Kristen can stay for the Christmas Party! Will you please go this year so she can she come with us? Pleeeease?"

"Hmmm. You know what? I think I'd like that very much," Jake said before looking over at Kristen as they got downstairs. "Well, if Miss Kristen would agree to go with me, that is."

Kristen smiled then said, "I suppose if you were to actually ask me I might consider going."

"Then consider yourself asked. In fact, let me make it formal. Kristen? Would you do me the honor of being my date to the Christmas Party?"

"Say yes!" Rebecca said excitedly.

"A date, huh? Gee, I don't know. I mean there's Geoffrey and..."

"And your cat," Jake reminded her.

"Who's Geoffrey?" Rebecca asked.

"Oh, he's...very tall," her dad told her with great authority.

"Stop!" Kristen said trying to be offended. "He's a very nice man."

"Oh. Are you in love with him?" Rebecca asked in a tone of voice that couldn't hide her sadness.

"I guess I thought I was," Kristen said rather quietly.

She turned toward Jake then said, "I suppose if you don't mind going on a date with a woman my age, I guess I could agree to go with you."

Kristen tilted her head and raised her eyebrows as though she had no idea what he might say.

Rebecca's eyes opened wide and her sadness disappeared when her dad said, "I can't imagine doing anything I'd enjoy more."

"Yaaay!" Rebecca said. "I didn't even have to put in a good word for you, Miss Kristen!"

"No, no you didn't," she said drinking in the smile on the little girl's face. She knelt down and told her, "But maybe he was listening anyway, right?"

Kristen excused herself and went to her room to give Geoffrey the bad news or at least the part about her not being able to make it home for Christmas.

"Well, I'm sure it'll be more than worth it to close the deal," he told her matter of factly when she let him know she'd have to stay in Davenport.

"I know, but I was really looking forward to just the two of us spending the entire day together," she told him.

"Why? Christmas is just another day except you can't make any money," he replied with total seriousness.

"So...that's it? You're not upset? Not even a little bit?"

"Upset? Why would I be upset? If you come home, you lose the deal. If you lose the deal, you lose your promotion. I'm not only upset, I'm proud of you for staying. Kristen, this is a real godsend for you."

"A godsend. Hmmm. You know what, Geoffrey? You might just be right about that," she told him as she realized he was indeed correct just not for the right reason.

"I'm glad you finally understand, Kristen. We're forming a partnership, and I need a dependable partner who makes the right decisions at the right time," he said cheerfully. "I guess I'll see you when you get back then, okay?"

"Yes. Yes, you will," she told him as the call ended without so much as a hint of sadness let alone any intimacy of any kind.

That night after dinner they were all sitting around the living room when Jake said, "I just checked online and the Putnam Museum is open from 10am to 2pm tomorrow. I could probably take a few hours off if you'd care to join us."

"I love the museum!" Rebecca said. "Science is my favorite subject in school!"