All Comments on 'Cold Rain - Wichita'

I dont sy this alot but this was your best story ever .... BULLY.

Very so often does a story keep me interested all the way thu. Excellent job. Well put together. Great plot.

Story is well written, well maybe the parents staying so long could have been cleared up by saying 'retirement' or something like that

Glad the story ended with an epilogue, a bit more detailing the continuing closeness with the two children would have been nice.

And some mention of if the mother was found, how she fared, etc.

Nice sweet romance. It rips your heart out when you see abandoned children. Great writing Jake. Luis

...even though the guy was a dumbass with a good heart. Thus the lower score.

Jake ... like so many of your stories, this would make a great movie, I'll be watching the newspaper for when it will be 'coming to a theater near me.' As always, great work! Thanks.

....but it was so boring. If it had been better written I might have got further with it but the characters were just not credible. I know that it is written in the American way but you must take into account that your story may be read by people all over the world. I gave up halfway through.

Great story but not at all romantic in the sense of this site. This was a great non-erotic story but since most people read stories on here that have some elements of sex I found this story very boring.

this story is fucking incredible . . and I say that in the best way possible

you could have very easily turned this into a book . . . and the comment about the movie . . . yes . . that would be another option

incredibly well done

Again you have presented us with another of your fine stories. Thank you!!! Please keep up with the fine work.

Thanks for sharing a such a heart-warming story.

Very well written and appreciated. <P>

In response to several comments Author - you write these quality stories and let someone else write the sex story's if they can.<P>

Your growth is mounting with each looked forward to effort.<P>

Thanks Author<P>

With Very High Regard

A very enjoyable story fo trajedy and love!! You feel good about the gang being rounded up but still bad about the kids mom.. It has a happy ending and that makes it a great story.

Jake, what a truly beautiful and heart warming story, it brought tears to the eyes of this old romantic! Such a jewel of a tale – perfect in fact, so any suggestions from me for improvement would be insulting. Many thanks! Pete.

It was evident that a lot of attention was given to details in describing the two different cultures which serve as the backdrop for this story. Before you know it you find yourself immersed in the midst of the lives of not one but two main characters, coming from very different backgrounds. These are two subcultures: that of some section of semi rural America and that of the former Soviet, now the Russian state, supposedly flushed by new wealth where in fact most are showered only by a new type of poverty. It’s an oligarchy dominated society; a corrupted form of bare bone Capitalism. From this new heaven the likes of the poor mother are trying to escape, falling as easy prey to the sex trade. Is that human nature or unforgiven silence on the part of the policy makers here who are too leery at picking bones with the all too powerful Putin? <P>

I realize that the Romance genre does not usually call for hot button – political debates, but it is the strength of this story – the relevant and touching real social problem which it exposes which makes IMO my response equally relevant. In other words the ‘evilness’ which the story uncovers is not from Satan and not in some fairy tale. It’s real, worse – it’s surrounding us, and yet it’s semi –invisible. Moreover, it’s not unavoidable as the author might believe. But I have to respectfully disagree and say that on this issue I believe that he is mistaken. A lot could and is successfully done in other countries to cut off this trade – that is when the political will exists. None of the above is meant to take away from the literary quality of narrative of this story. A particular character could very realistically hold this or any beliefs – erroneous or not. More likely than not that that this opinion ia not that rare either. <P>.

It’s not every day that you get to read A romance which at the same time warms your hear while it stings you….

Best story I've read in a long time...put off cooking dinner until my family asked "...where's dinner, you ok?, youre crying mom"

It deserved the 'E' as well as the 'H' A great read and with no sex. Modern Romance or someone out to be buying this one from you.

With well deserved Kudo's

Your friend

DG Hear

I loved the whole story! You are one helluva good writer!! Hang in there and keep writing!! Thank you for this story. It was trully wonderful!

I loved this story and think it is by far the best I've read in years. While I was reading it I kept finding myself wishing that I was in Ben's position having found the two kids. I will be watching for your next masterpiece.

Jake, and it had a lot of realism to it. The story has been criticized for lack of sex, but it didn't need it. Thank You. Ronnie W.

It was so nice to read a story with a happy ending for a change. I felt so bad for those poor children at the begining and it was heartwarming to see them find a family.

I'm from the area, so it was refreshing to read a story with things/locations that I am familiar with.

Thank you so much

Thank you for the entertainment.<P>PT

On a later read of my comment I feel that something needs clarification. When I say that the story felt partly as stinging, I refer to the fact that unlike many Romances, this story points to a real current social problem which surrounds us, namely the phenomenon of the 'sex trade'. I feel that it is at least in part (as in any social issue) up to anyone to take an active position in trying to change things. on that context it stings (or should feel so). <P>

I was not alluding to the disagreement on assessing the source of the problem as expressed by the main character at the end. In fact, he took action and got involved on many levels despite his later thoughts on the overall nature of, or how chronic this problem might be. <P>

Don't miss this unusual Romance/social commentary!

A heart rending and heart warming story.. I was hoping for a much better ending for the kids mom but I guess it needed to end this way. Basically a happy ending.. And was hoping interpol could round up a coupla dozen perverts. Great read.

This was a wonderful story and very touching.

This was a very touching story, Jake. I'm never disappointed when I read one of your stories. Thanks for all that you do for this site.

seriously, all that violence! not necessary!

Why must she die?!?!?!?!?!

Too bad about the ending it took all the fun out of the story formno reqson what so ever. Maybe next time no one needs die

This is a story about real life below the thin surface of civilization. Remember Man is the meanest most cruel and deadly animal on earth.

Tood bad their mother had to die, but it was either this way or she die of a more horrilble death of STD/drugs. At least it was quick and clean no long term suffering, bad view but life is not a rose garden

A little hard to read as it hit to close to home in some respects, but well told. I've known a couple in similar circumstances and have an adopted niece from the situation. I'm glad you wrote it. It was an enjoyable read.

I hope there are more to come!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!

No loose ends to this one -

Good story about mostly good people - again

It seems a common theme - only one or two really crappy people in you stories - most of them are good and honest people driven by life and its challenges -

Nice work thank you

I was floored when the true hero Ludmila was killed off by the author. Although, it clears a path for the children's adoption, it was so sad. As a sex worker how was she able to keep her children to begin with. At any rate, this story was truly emotional and very interesting. Thank you for your effort.

The people holding Ludmilla were planning on turning Anna out. People who do things like that wouldn't have a problem with doing it to Pasha as well.

I like your story, you are a good story teller.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

almost predetermined, but nicely done. I know a few guys that would have left the kids at the station, fortunately only a few. please notice, I didn't say friends. this kind of stuff probably happens every day somewhere, and it's a sad commentary on humanity.

Another excellent story. Please keep it up. SF VET

First, I know that it is an ancient story, but I had not read it until today.

I have to comment that I loved the absence of sex, as did the composting of Ben and his family. As for Alina, although the final outcome of her relationship with Ben was predictable, the difficulty of this relationship with Manny Rivas' presentation (although it falls on the macho topic of Hispanics) was well raised, in order to give more interest to the history.

I acknowledge that I did not like the subject of Ludmilla's death, but it was something that came from the translation of the letter in Russian, and I suppose that the author resorted to this death to end that thread of history.

Decidedly, I liked the story, although I found it a little short, I consider that the end accelerated too much, although I understand that the author can not please everyone and that he also has a private life and his time is not dedicated only to readers Of Lit.

5* for you.

I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

I have enjoyed all of Jake Rivers Romances. Thanks

For a Romance story, it was lacking in some essential elements. The MC came off as an awkward cold fish, and the story basically timeskipped everything past the point where Alina took the bull by the horns, eliding the actual building of a romantic relationship on the foundation of friendship they had built up. The author basically gave us the prologue and the epilogue to the romance part of the story.

On Guys You gotta love it! Sad about the Kids Mother. Well done Jake Rivers 5 Stars

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF! Plea deal? Shoot, hang, quarter, beheaded !. Feed Him first that's My deal!!!!!!!!!! See Ya!

... and hugged her legs. Then the waterworks started.

Great story, but pedantic dialogue and telling drops this to 4-stars.

(sniff-sniff)

Made me wonder if the author had lived some of this story.

Or is close to someone who did.

Touching, and,

deserving of 5 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

Realistic. Shredded my heart.

I fucking hate all of the motherfuckers who turned out women like that.

It's good that I'm not rich enough or I'll spend my money hunting down and skinning those children of demons

I have yet to read a bad story by JakeRivers, but this is one of his best. I am too lazy to comment most of the time unless it is an especially good or especially bad. This is one of the best. 5*

A Good Story .. I Hate people who treat people like Slaves . Human Trafficking should be stopped with extreme prejudice .

VERY GOOD STORY!

Wow! I had to catch a West bound train out of Newton when I was first in the Navy to get to San Diego. It seemed to be a long drive up from Wichita at the time All the places and names sure brings back memories. I have a high school buddy that worked at Beach for over 40 years.

The story was good and I'm glad it worked out for the kids. It's a blight on America that we still have a sex slave trade and can't seem to put a stop to it.

Anyway, thanks for the memories and the story.

An interesting premise and written with some dexterity, but it lacked the twists and turns of character and plot that might have made me question the conclusion that seemed inevitable as soon as Alina walked through the door.

LA

Great story, sorry for the mother. AAAAA+++++

This is a fine story about a compassionate and goodhearted man.

It is well-told, but the timorous nature of the MC tempts one to deliver a boot to his backside.

Weak epilogue ending

Solid story

touching and sad

I can't see the "obvious reasons" why the story couldn't have been set in the past. Was it the immigrant girl having a profession? But that's easily changed...

I agree with the 'Weak epilogue ending' an epilogue can make or break a story. This would have been 5* with a better one.