All Comments on 'Coloring Outside The Lines'
by Hooked1957
- 243 Comments
Tx77Tumbleweed3 months agoThis was the strangest story I have read in this category, yet it was one of the most uplifting tales as well. It certainly deserves 5 stars even though I am still wondering how the rare combination who could make this work ever would connect with each other.
cookingwithgas3 months agoCongrats on your hundredth! I've enjoyed almost every one of them, including this one. Keep it going.
Olgreyfox3 months agoThanks SO much Hooked, wonderful story full of love and the best of friendships, the way humans should should strive to live no matter what the relationship. Damn fine story, just damn fine!
SequoiaSempervirens3 months agoVery nice! You are one of my favorite authors, and this story is one of the best. Five stars!
MissMud3 months agoDifferent, but I really enjoyed it! What a family, what a household! You write really good stories! Thanks, I appreciate your shill as a story-teller and writer, and your willingness to share it with us! Of course 5 stars!
franceman3 months agoA successful hundredth.
A shame it took him over twenty years to find a woman like Deb.
Despite his close family, it can't be very easy staying single for so long, not having a lover, and I'm not talking about sex but intimacy.
Harddaysknight3 months agoI always enjoy stories by Hooked. He adds an extra layer or two as well as finishing the story. Nicely done. Congratulations on hitting the century mark for postings on Lit and let's hope for a few hundred more.
des9113 months agoA good way to mark your century of stories. "You are a gentleman, a scholar and a good judge of whiskey" - Jameson Black Barrel is very nice.
Thank you for a lovely story
The Style Guy3 months agoOne hundred stories, five hundred stars and (I’m sure) a multitude of fans. Congratulations to Hooked1957.
MellowJoe3 months agoCongratulations on the hundred! You've long been one of my favorite writers here.
laptopwriter3 months agoOriginal and very well written; it doesn't get much better than that. 5 stars and thanks for a hundred great stories.
Unassigned3 months agoVery nice, with a happy ending for all and quite well written. My only gripe is when Bobbie and wife asked him to stick around and be a father to their (hoped for) child. In essence, they were asking him to put on hold for the next 18 years any realistic chance of finding his own partner, until sometime in his 50s. That's quite an ask of someone you love.
Britease3 months agoIt would have been 5 stars anyway, but the Arsenal thing sealed it. Lovely story.
groaningbump3 months agoAwesome story, loved the character development and hike you made a quirky situation seem plausible. Thanks for sharing! - gb
Bullrider143 months agoVery good story. Was hoping for some retribution towards the ex. Did she remarry? What did her folks think about what happened? Did he reconcile with his own family?
ibuguser3 months agoHalfway through I thought I knew where this was headed but you expertly proved me wrong.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Was really well written.
pepepilot3 months agoAs others have said, congratulations on your 100th. While I have really liked most of your stories, I think you really made a bang out of your 100th. Thank you for awesome stories and especially for this one!!!
Tajfa3 months agoWell done for 100 stories. This was a nice romance story and very well written. For me the first wife's story was glossed over somewhat. Did she really go out on her own in the big city to hook up with a random stranger? I would have had him find out she had this arranged with a co worker or something similar. I also don't see anyone waiting for 4 years to finally start divorce proceedings. Him not doing that before gave the impression that he might reconsider. However, still a very good story.
miket04223 months agoReally enjoyed this story. Thank you for writing and sharing.
My only quibble is this story even being in LW. So little time was spent on Vivian and the cheating that it almost felt like it was only part of the story so that it could be in the LW category. No background of their marriage. No development of Vivian. No realistic reason given for her actions. We're halfheartedly told that her Daddy and Q have spoiled her all her life. I guess that was the rationale given for the unexplained decision to cheat for an entire weekend?
All of that could have been summarized as part of his past that explains why he moved and took a new job. Then the actual story we were told could have easily fit into another category.
Like I said, just some confusion on my part. It doesn't detract from this being a very enjoyable story.
wiscman453 months agoThis is a wonderful and well written story. It shows how the relationship between people in a family can grow and develop into loving each other fully and completely.
CastAdrift3 months agoReally nice. The phoenix rises from tragedies.
And no one got magically rich in the process as in so many stories, except for many hearts.
Thanks for the memories.
Anonymous3 months agoI wholeheartedly agree with TX77Tumbleweed’s assessment of “ This was the strangest story I have read in this category, yet it was one of the most uplifting tales as well.” So true Hooked1957. Congrats on your 100th story, with many more in the future. Thank you for your time & talent to write these tales! 5*
gacor3 months agoCongratulations on your 100th! I enjoyed this story, and a couple twists I did not see coming. The only nitpick I can make, and it is something you have done in several other stories, is that you wait until the wife has stepped outside to present the background. By that point I am rooting against her at worst, or do not care for her at best, and so I tend care less. Of course, introducing the background earlier might take the reader out as a character they turn to like betrays them, so it comes to preference in the end. Antways, I thoroughly enjoyed it, 5 stars from me.
Anonymous3 months agoA very strange tale, but a very enjoyable read. I could see some issues as young Elinore progresses through childhood, resulting from her lack of parentage or even guardianship papers, but your story is your story and I appreciate it. I felt sorry for Viv.
Back to the story itself: well written as usual, and almost flawless. Very worthy of five stars.
JPB
Anonymous3 months agoAt least give the entire quote:
"Passing trains that have no name
An' freight yards full of old black men
And the graveyards of the rusted automobiles." Arlo
Anonymous3 months agoMan was the MC a man or a woman??? He was manipulated by all the lesbos in the group!!
Powersworder3 months agoThis was an impressive cautionary tale for why you should never date single mothers.
After being forced into raising another man's child, he become a eunuch for over 20+ years.
What a horrific nightmare.
Anonymous3 months agoFOB: family of birth
FOC: family of choice
You put your FOC together, avoiding the bad bits.
Happy 100th - all the better for us.
Anonymous3 months agoToo many irrealistic parts in this evident fempov tale: illegal kid adoption from a non married couple (a guy and a lesbian), useless lesbian proclama, FMF parents for the kid, making a new "family" while staying married, and so on. The "man" MC in this tale looks too much like a brainless monkey to be a bit credible. This tale could have been a good one if the MC husband had had a male brain.
Whackdoodle3 months agoA Disney story for dudes. Bill is perfect and his wicked ex wife is a horrible, nasty woman.
I hate stories like that.
classicespresso3 months agocongrats on one hundred quality stories. It is quite an achievement. Please keep them coming!
Anonymous3 months agoI think the Style Guy under estimated your star count . I believe it should read 500 stars and you deserve everyone of them. Another great story from an excellent writer.
Flymo653 months agoNice to read a 5 star story which required me to turn the page rather than open up a story to be presented with an extended paragraph. This is a good well written story which can be savoured as it stirs the emotions. Looking forward to reading more in your next 100. Thanks from a grateful reader.
Anonymous3 months agogood story but not much really about the cheating wife. It isn't really needed of course but I would prefer some more. It appears she had this all thought out long before he watched that game and she already had som guy lined up in Chicago or had him meet her there.
MountainMan13363 months agoI gave this story 4 stars. I kind of liked it but at the same time I found it pretty strange. It was well written yet I found the character Oliver kind of wishy-washy. I personally could never have lived in a house with those two lesbians. If they were both bisexual and I was having sex with them, I could have enjoyed that, but to be left out of any sexual relationship with them, no way.
Lowrider20203 months agoI can only hope that somewhere someplace this situation or one like it actually exists.
Anonymous3 months agoThe story was sure interesting and different and I loved it. Thanks for sharing it.
Anonymous3 months agoEnjoyed reading your story, until I realized the main character was a hypocritical asshole. Lecturing Jack, before the wedding, about being abusive while he himself is engaging in physically abusive behavior. I stopped reading at this point. That being said, I enjoyed your writing (as always) and gave it 4 stars. I'm sure the rest of the story was as good, I just stopped caring about the MC and what happens to him.
Congrats on your centennial!
Anonymous3 months agoZero stars. He wasn't strong enough to stop her. Just a coward that runs away and hides without even talking to her. All the great ratngs must be from brain-dead zombies, just likke you. You probaably won't print this, but you know my opinion of you and your writing.
Anonymous3 months agoNope, this story just kept getting more fucked up the further I read to the point during page three I simply had to quit. Can't appreciate all the crap this story brought forward.
Corny19743 months agoI loved it. I've got a list of jobs to do but just couldn't stop reading. Wow. A new favourite.
Anonymous3 months agoI like how he didn't put up with shit from Viv and just ended it immediately. I thought she might haunt him more but the way it played out was unique.
Anonymous3 months agoWeird story! So he gets left behind, while the lesbians live happily ever after. I hate pussy husbands who ignore and run off and hide from their issues and a marriage is pretty high on the list. If he had handled business after the Chicago weekend they could have figured it out or end it. But he was a disrespectful as she was to their 8 year relationship.
Tomh19663 months agoGood story, then again you rarely write bad ones.
Congrats on 100.
Here's to you getting to #200!
Anonymous3 months agoWhat basis was there for a court order to look at employment records? There’s no law that says you have to live with your spouse. People run away all the time. Since he was an adult, didn’t physically hurt anyone, and didn’t steal anything, the police are going to ignore the father in law.
The employer would challenge the request, and it would be quashed. It would come out that the father in law lied to the court, or bribed the judge. It would blow up into a huge scandal. There would be lawsuits, and possibly criminal charges. The slut, and her enablers, would be destroyed!
ZK
ImNotanAnon3 months agoI ended up quiting around page 3. It just meandering on with nothing to engage the reader or encourage them to invest in the story.
