All Comments on 'Come Monday'

Good story! Mature?

5

Always a good read, SC. Nicely done and very hopeful.

I love Swampcooler stories and this one was no different. Very hot and very tender at the same time. I just wished that it went on for a couple of more pages and had a little more closure than it did. The ending felt a little open ended. However, I still give it five stars and a favorite point!

Very well done. Are there more chapters to the story coming? I enjoyed it very much and would like to see Lonnie and Claire make a brother and sister for Oliver.

More pleaee

What a great story. What a great Guy.. cheers.

Wonderful story!

I read the remainder, and while it improved somewhat, it still doesn't match the quality of your other stories. This would have been better to place in "Loving Wives" and not "Mature," since there's little difference in their ages.

I'll say Lonnie as a character didn't go overboard visiting the store and tried to keep it under wraps. Comeuppance for the husband coach proved appropriate (using physical abuse at a game to fire him), although Reginald was a wildcard and so was slipping her the "mickey," which most readers would have only suspected at a bar or strip club; for her to have birth control and then throw it away just seemed unexpectedly weak. One could argue Reginald was the unexpected curve ball/twist, but seeing him slither away redefines frustrating: it initially made Claire seem slutty, but only after a long while do the readers learn it was non-consensual. You should have fielded a far more appropriate, logical twist, but I cannot think of one offhand. The one you tried made Lonnie's dream of the black Claire more comical, although I can't fathom he woke up to find what he did.

While you wrote a logical and more fitting conclusion, it's the middle of the story that proved problematic.

Another excellent effort. Gave it 5 stars, but 4 1/2 would be more apropos - more weakness than usual: bringing her birth control without a logical reason, even from a slippery slime-ball was a very weak point; the dream scene was superfluous and pointless (to me) and the ending truncated, although I guess one could conclude they are headed in the right direction for a true relationship. "Erotic coupling" would have been a better category for which to have listed this since 5-6 years is not a sufficient difference for a May-December love story.

Despite these "distractions", I found it a reasonably good read, and didn't consciously notice them til my usual self-reflection post-reading. You do write some of the most erotic sex scenes, and isn't that what this is all about?

Very Sweet und Romantique!

11/10!!!!!