by Lost Boy
Interesting twist ending. I noticed a few minor typos, and though slightly unsettled by the revelation, I give it five stars.
Tc
This is how you do it! You write a damn good story and then insert explicit sex. Far too many think all they have to do is write, "cock, pussy, blowjob, lesbian, twins, fuck" and they've written a story. No! This, this is a story. Admittedly the whole space alien thing isnt really my cup of tea, and I would have dearly loved some girl on girl. Leo was a master seducer, surely he could have enticed them to eat pussy. But that's all a matter of preference. The actual writing and storytelling were top notch. I don't recall reading any of your works before, but if they're like this, you damn well better believe I will in the future. Well done and five stars!
Oh god, you may want to get someone who actually speaks Irish or Gaelic as you call it to look over your translation. Comhlacht is not a human body that would be Corp. Comhlacht is an official body like a firm or business it is more of a legal term.
Fantastic SciFi Story. I struggled to see how it fit with money. This story could have taken place in a middle class neighborhood. For the invitational 4*. As a SciFi, 10*
Sick nasty story, Lost Boy. I enjoyed it immensely. Can't wait to read another. Randi.
I always have butterflies in my stomach when I hit the publish button. Thank you all for your kind words, and for the record I googled body thief in Gaelic. I will do better next time. Writing is a perpetual learning experience. Most of my stories seem to take on a life of their own, and most times I rarely know how they are going to end. This one was no different. I had half a dozen alternate endings but chose the middle of the road dark. Thanks again.
Good job. It was probably the most interesting in this writing challenge. Although i go lost at times and was confused, in the end it kind of made sense. Anyway, it was very entertaining.
Interesting twist. The villain story revisited. At first we thought it was just Stan brought into Leo's body, then we find you damned them both. And thus when you became the lawyer, that was you in the beginning.
Nice piece of work, though you wonder when we will see more of you "Canon works" instead of "one-shots." It is great to see you writing again. Keep your creative streak going.
Our kinks align, but not perfectly, so I read the second half of the story just to enjoy your writing and see how the story ends.
One correction: Page 4: "Prone" is face down, "Supine" is laying on your back. Judging from the description of the positions, you have it backwards (
Just too many twists and turns, along with missing soy line on why women fell at leo's feet before being pressed. Missed opportunity if you ask me... 4*
Loved it - especially the "Pinky and the Brain" reference in the last lines 😉.
I would love to see you continue this as multi - chapter story, it left me wanting more! 5*
Nice touch channeling The Brain at the end! A very enjoyable fairy tale, nice timing, great execution.