Community Property

"My husband may have been well on the road to becoming the first practicing doctor on welfare. But now that probably won't happen," she laughed. "Damn, this is the best steak I've ever had."

"So Paula what does that have to do with..." I began.

"Us fucking?" she asked. "I was just getting to that. I got down there and found out that Doctor dumb ass was arrested for giving unlicensed narcotics to a person without a prescription. They're also charging him with giving narcotics to a person for a purpose other than what they were meant for. But you know all of that, don't you. You know that my husband, who's been your best friend for most of your life, gave your skanky assed wife, whom he's been fucking since before we were married, drugs to put you to sleep so he could fuck her."

Oh God Damn, I thought. We're going for the tri-fuck-ta. Paula made three crying women I've had to deal with in under an hour.

"Why, Liam," she asked, still eating. I began to think that those tits were filled with steak instead of milk.

"Why would he need to fuck her if he has me? She's not even pretty like that girl you were stuck on in college. And I feel so bad for you because they basically put this whole thing together to get you to marry her just so she wouldn't have to get off of her fat ass and get a job. But also so they could continue to fuck her. Did you know that they do gang bangs and just take turns fucking her?"

"Yeah, Paula," I said. "But thanks for reminding me."

"When I spoke to him he was all apologetic about it. He told me some shit about how he needed to exercise his baser urges and do things that are just too nasty to do to the woman he loves. He makes it seem like she belongs to their little group like a possession. He told me that she will literally do anything they want. He told me that back before he got her to marry you, he used to take her down to the railroad yard and let bums fuck her."

"I asked him how he could do that to you when you'd always been like a brother to him. He seemed to think that he was doing both you and her, favors. By getting you to marry her, he got you back out of your depression. He also gave you someone to take care of you and make sure you weren't lonely. In her case, she didn't have to work and she got with a really good guy. But after thinking about it, I think that the real reason he did it was so he could continue to fuck her. She's not pretty enough for him to marry and he'd never marry a woman he thought was basically a slut; especially when all of his friends had fucked her. But he wanted to keep her around and available. He knew that real women are people. That means we have our ups and downs and we have emotions and needs ourselves. No matter who he married, he probably wasn't going to get all of the sex he wanted or in all of the ways. I mean I like sex as much as the next girl does but Jeff knows that I have to be in the mood and that even when I'm in the mood, nothing goes up my ass except toilet paper." She had finished her steak and was eying mine.

"He just wanted to have his own personal whore. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. But like Saxon Heart says, it's time for him to eat his fucking cake. I'm divorcing his ass pronto, but besides that I need to make him eat a piece of cake so fucking big that he chokes on it. So I want us to go down there to the jail and take him another video. I want to give him something to watch to warm the cockles of his twisted fucking heart. I want to give him a video of you fucking the shit out of me. I'll even let you ram your fuck stick up my virgin shitter. Elaine wants you too. She's been at the hospital sitting by Bert's bed ever since he got his ass beat and now she finds out that Bert had been fucking Julie too. Tina is really pissed at Greg as well so you may have three pissed off women to satisfy and I want to be first."

"Paula, you're a beautiful woman," I said. "And you deserve better than what you got. But if we did this, it would just cheapen both of us. When you give yourself to a man it should be someone that you have feelings for and who loves and respects you in turn. If we did this then you'd be no better than Julie and I'd be like Jeff. We're better than that."

She started crying and I went around the table and hugged her. She buried her face in my neck and pressed those huge udders against my side. I almost changed my mind. "But don't you want to get revenge on him?" she sobbed. "That motherfucker has to pay."

"He will someday," I said.

"What are you going to do?" she asked. "Please don't tell me you're going to get back with her."

"No," I said. "I can't see doing that."

"Good," she spat. "You're too good for that whore."

"I'm probably going to move to another state and start over again," I said.

"It would be better for everyone if that whore was the one who left town," she said. She reached over and cut the corner off of my steak and popped it into her mouth. "Is that some kind of steak sauce on yours?" she asked.

"It's a mixture of Mushroom sauce and peppercorn sauce," I said. She turned around and slid my plate over. She started eating my steak as I watched.

"This sauce is the shit," she said. "Anyway that asshole wants to see you. I think he wants to apologize to you and prevail on your friendship to help him out. He doesn't have any fucking money," she snorted. "After I found out what he'd done, I took all of the money from both our checking and savings accounts. Fuck him. He can rot in jail."

I called the waiter over and paid for the food. Then I hugged Paula and left the restaurant. I drove over to the jailhouse.

I asked to see Jeff and was told that he'd been waiting for me. He smiled when I walked into the room. Our town was so small that we didn't have all of the things you see on TV. It was just a regular room with the door locked. Jeff couldn't get up because he was chained to a big hasp that was bolted to the floor.

His smile vanished when he noticed that I didn't return it.

"I'm sorry Liam," he said. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Why are you sorry Jeff?" I asked. "Do you actually feel remorse for what you did or are you just sorry that you got caught? Are you sorry because you conspired to get my wife to drug me so you could have sex with her? Or are you sorry because you helped me marry her under false pretenses? Are you sorry that you've been fucking the woman I loved or thought I did, behind my back? What exactly are you sorry about?"

"Well I'm..." he began.

"Fuck you Jeff," I spat before he could finish. "I have things to do. Paula came to see me. She offered to have sex with me. Naturally I accepted. So Jeff while you're locked in here tonight I'll be getting my revenge. I'll be fucking your wife's ass while I'm squeezing those giant titties. Thanks Jeff. While I'm shooting my sperm deep inside your wife's juicy little pussy, I'll owe it all to you. And I'll keep fucking her the whole time you're in jail. Maybe when you get out if you don't mind taking care of my kids, I'll let you have her back."

"No, you aren't..." he sputtered.

"Yes I am, Jeff," I snarled. "She wants it and so do I. And with all of the charges against you, there's nothing you can do about it." I wasn't stupid enough to clue him in but I was sure that now that the police had started to investigate him, it would only be a matter of time before they charged him with arson in the burning down of his clinic as well.

He was screaming and begging me not to as I knocked on the door and the guard let me out.

My next step was to the hospital. I stopped by and saw Bert. As soon as I walked into the room, I heard him crying. He looked up at me.

"Hey Bert," I said. He looked down at the floor.

"Why Bert?" I asked. "I thought we were friends."

"It was all Jeff," he said. "Greg and I just went along with it. Back in college we all just fucked her. She was a slut, there were lots of them. Jeff figured we'd all get married sometime and it would be good to have someone who would do any nasty thing we wanted. When he started talking about hooking you up with her, we thought he was joking. Why would he hook one of our best friends up with her? But then you started treating her like she was special. He was laughing at you all the time. It was like he was playing a joke on you. On one hand you thought she was this nice girl when she was probably the biggest whore in town. And on the other hand we were fucking her the whole time that you've known her. It was a shitty thing to do, but Liam shitty stuff happens to all of us. Look at me, first I get my ass beat for no reason. Now, I find out that I'll never be able to swing a golf club again."

"Well, didn't your wife leave you when she found out about you fucking Julie?" I asked.

"Hell no," he spat.

At that moment I turned around and saw Julie behind me.

"I spoke to Paula," I told him. "She told me that Elaine and Tina both went ape shit when they heard about what you assholes were doing."

"It didn't matter," he said. "She's using the cheating as the grounds for her divorce but she really left me last week when she found out..." he started crying and it made me feel weird to see him crying. It's strange to watch another man crying like a baby.

"If she didn't know about the cheating why did she leave you last week?" I asked.

"Because for the longest time all Elaine has talked about was us having kids," he cried. "And the bastard that beat me up...when he stomped my nuts...Why did he have to do that?...Why did he stomp my nuts? I can't have kids anymore, Liam. That's why Elaine left me. She didn't find out about us fucking Julie until this morning. Fate has taken everything I loved. My golf game, my health, my marriage, my wife are all gone, Liam. Fate took everything."

"Well, at least in your case it was fate," I spat. "The guys I thought were my best friends stole my life."

"But Liam, no one stole me from you," said Julie. "All we lost was some stupid money. You can take the promotion and we'll save for a while and not go out and not go on vacation this year. And the difference is that now I know that I love you for real. I love the way you treat me. We can start all over again and it'll be like none of this ever happened. And the guys are all gone. Jeff is in jail. Bert there is only half of Bert. And Greg disappeared so..."

"What the fuck do you mean Greg disappeared?" I asked.

"Tina came by. She wanted to kick my ass. She cursed me out and before she left she asked me if I knew where Greg was. She checked their bank accounts and Greg had withdrawn half of the money from their checking account and just vanished. Now, let's get back to what we were talking about," she said. "No one stole me from you, Honey. I know this seems bad but we can..."

"No one had to steal you from me," I snapped. "You were never mine. It was all some kind of sick joke, but it's my turn to laugh. Now, you mean that Tina has no idea of where Greg is? Fuck." I was really pissed that Greg had gotten away from me.

"Forget about Greg," she said. "What about us. What's our next step?"

"There is no us, you psychotic bitch. We're getting a divorce. My lawyer will probably have the paperwork ready in a few days. We can file for a no fault divorce and just walk away. That would be the easiest way to do it. I'll keep my cars, you keep your car and we'll split the proceeds from the house minus the money we blew on you and your legal defense. I think it's only fair that you have to pay for that since it was all a result of your actions. So if we get eighty grand for the house or less, you'll end up with twenty."

"Twenty," she snapped. "How is that fair?"

"We had forty thousand dollars in our bank account," I said. "All of it is gone. Even with a fifty/fifty split only half of that would have been yours. Even though I made all of it since you've never had a job, you'd only be entitled to half. All of it went either to your bail of your lawyer or you pissed it away, so you owe me twenty grand. So if the house sells for eighty or less, we each get forty, minus the twenty you owe me."

"Our house is worth more than eighty," she said.

"We're not going to get what it's worth," I told her. "I want to sell it quickly and move away. I need to get away from all of this shit and start my life over in a place where people won't snicker at me whenever I walk down the street."

"No, Liam," she cried. "That's not how we're doing this. We have to go through the divorce process. I've been thinking about this. We have to exhaust every avenue in trying to save our marriage. First, I want us to go to counseling. If that doesn't work then we'll have a trial separation and then get back together to see what we've learned by being apart. If we're still pissed then we'll have a legal separation then after a year we'll start the divorce proceedings. That's the way my aunt did it."

"Your aunt was fucked in the head," I snapped. "Your uncle cheated on her for their entire marriage. She was stupid to put up with all of that. He cheated on her all through their separations too. He never stopped cheating on her until he had that heart attack and died. I'm not your aunt. I'm not trying to save our marriage. I don't want you to change for me. You've apparently always been a slut and I'm fine with it. I just want you to be married to someone else. I'm tired of being the stooge."

"Liam, what are you talking about?" she said. "You were never a stooge?"

"What do you call it?" I asked. "You're fucking four guys. Only three of us knew that though. I'm the one who didn't know. At the same time, I'm the one who had to support you and take care of you. I housed you, fed you, clothed you, and entertained you. I'm the one who had to take care of you when you were sick, cheer you up when you were sad and listen to all of your fucking problems. I did your chores, I dealt with your family and your issues, I...loved you, Julie. I gave you my heart and everything I had to give. The other guys just got to fuck you whenever they felt like it for free. I'm betting they never had to deal with hearing you say, 'Not tonight, Honey. I'm not in the mood.' So what would you call me?"

"I'd call you the man who loves me," she said. "I'd call you the man I really love."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?" I asked. "When you told me and all of our friends that when we got married, it wasn't true then was it?" She shook her head.

"But Liam...," she started.

"But my ass," I snapped. "If you don't want the no fault divorce, Julie, we can do things the hard way. We can do filing with infidelity as the grounds, and dragging your name through the mud and letting the entire town know what a whore you are. Trust me Julie, you wouldn't like that. It's a small town, there isn't very much mud. Your whole family would be embarrassed and you'd probably end up with nothing. You're better off walking away with a little bit of money and your reputation, what there is left of it intact."

"But I really don't want a divorce," she whined. "We can fix this. We can be better than we ever were. I'm done with all of the other guys."

"I don't give a fuck what you want Julie. We can't fix this and we can't be better because this was all a lie. It was never real. And you didn't get done with the other guys, they got done with you. Greg skipped town. Bert is a cripple whose dick doesn't work anymore and Jeff will be too busy trying to avoid having some guy fucking him in his ass to worry about fucking you in yours. I'll have my lawyer send the papers by in a day or so when they're ready. Just sign them Julie and let this die. If the hospital releases you, go to your parent's house. I'll arrange for you to get into the house to get all of your stuff before I leave town."

I called my boss back and told him to get the relocation bonus check ready because I wanted the job in Chicago. I started making plans to move there and actually drove to Chicago a few days later to check out the office and hire a realtor to start looking for a house for me. I drove home exhausted and went over to visit Julie's parents again.

"So there's really no way for you guys to save this?" asked her mom through her tears.

I just shook my head. "I was trying to stay with her through the alcohol and the drugs," I said. "I was willing to stay with her when she ran that guy down and left the scene of the crime, but this is just too much for me. It broke my heart to find out that she was screwing all of my friends behind my back. But the real clincher was finding out that from the beginning she never really loved me. I'll miss you two at least as much as I'll miss her, but I need to find someone who really does care about me."

We all hugged each other and they agreed to stop by the next day with a truck and get all of Julie's belongings. It was a sad ending to what I'd thought was a great marriage.

Julie ended up getting probation for the drug and alcohol charges contingent on her being checked into a treatment program. She got six months for hitting Melvin while DUI and another six months for leaving the scene of the accident. So Julie ended up doing almost a year in jail. Melvin also sued her in civil court and got thirty thousand dollars in damages plus the payment of all of his medical bills. That wiped out every penny that Julie got in our divorce settlement and then some. She had to take a job working fast food to try to pay her parents back. Even before I left town no one wanted to have anything to do with her.

Jeff was charged with Arson in the case of his clinic. He was also charged with delivering unlicensed narcotics and several other drug charges. Jeff spent six years behind bars and another year on probation. He also lost his license to ever practice medicine again. Before he ever went to jail, Paula had started divorce proceedings and cleaned out all of their assets. Jeff ended up living in the same homeless shelter that Melvin had lived in and no one liked him. They got tired of hearing how he used to be a doctor. Most of them didn't really believe him. How could a guy with a prison tat that marked him as someone's bitch have gone through medical school?

Bert spent several years in rehab before he tried to return to teaching. He will always have a very noticeable limp and one of his arms is only 20% usable. His wife remarried about a year after I left town and now has two kids.

Melvin took the money from the civil suit against Julie and opened his own temp service. He finds jobs for homeless men and others who need to get back on their feet. Eventually he got over his anger and started to help women too, but he refuses to serve any woman who cheated on her husband. The surprising thing is that Melvin ended up getting remarried and has a child of his own.

Tina started divorce proceedings against Greg. She filed under abandonment and had to wait a year. She got their house and all of their other assets that Greg hadn't taken with him. She also filed a complaint with both the state and national bar associations in an attempt to make it difficult for him to practice law, but neither her divorce case nor her complaint were ever settled.

The day I was ready to leave town, I got a call.

"Hey, Liam; this whole thing has been bothering me so I decided to call you and apologize for my part in it," he said.

My temperature rose as I realized who it was.

"Why didn't you come and tell me in person, like a man, Greg?" I asked.

"Well old buddy, because, your wife is a slut, Jeff is an arrogant asshole and Bert is a fool," he said. "Out of all of us, you were the best. You're a true standup guy. I'm as slimy as they come. I'm a fucking lawyer. I lie to people for a living. But I'm also not stupid. I may not be a genius but I can tell the way the wind is blowing."