All Comments on 'Controlling Colleen'

Interesting attempt at a story, but the writing is weak. The story jumps around from place to place and so vital components become missed. For example, the woman is walking to court, then we have an interlude about why she became a lawyer, then suddenly she is sitting somewhere look at Antonio, and then suddenly she is jacking a different guy off. None of it links together, with the result that the reader becomes really confused as to what exactly is going on. I'm really surprised this passed copy editing muster...