All Comments on 'Conversation Took a Left Turn Ch. 01'

Kind of interesting but super gay start.

I'll wait to rate it.

Ralph is a fucker regardless of the circumstances and Mary is still a fucking town bike.

The MC is a piece of shit but is that the excuse everyone is going to use for being even worse?

Good start. Need a proofreader. Threw her way and hard if your stupid. TC Ireland.

'Life is hard. Life's a lot harder if your stupid.'

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No. You. Didn't. Talk about irony............ [Insert: face palm]

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Otherwise, a decent story! 4/5.

Keep working and proof reading. If you cannot find your own mistakes get someone else to do it for you.

So in the original he

didnt know she was cheating

was filing for divorce

happy to be rid of her

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in your sequel he

wants her back

refuses to file for divorce

was aware of her many lovers as they had an open marriage at HIS instance

/

you sure this is a sequel?

Women are born with value men have to create theirs

P.S. I really hope you aren't trying to paint Bobby as the only bad guy. Mary is almost worse and so are all her fuckbuddies that see no problem fucking someone else's wife.

Ralph isn't sorry he fucked his own cousin's wife?

Mary might be paying bills and Ralph might be taking care of finances and business but it doesn't clean the slate for what they have done.

Dutch's instructions on being a man should include not giving any attention to round heeled sluts which is what Mary became and she was shameless about it.

I also think there would be at least a little fallout from her whorish escapades becoming public knowledge.

You picked a real shit show to write about.

I hope you don't turn Bobby into a schmuck doing the pick me dance for a ridiculous whore like Mary.

Bobby isn't the only one with things to answer for.

Mary has some serious work to do on herself to be considered fit to even date, much less be married to.

Ralph needs his ass beat and some humiliation heaped on him and her coworkers, however many Mary is banging, shouldn't really be holding their heads that high.

Is she still banging them? Still expecting to work with the men she humiliated her husband with?

There are a lot of really messed up people in this story and a lot of unresolved damage that Bobby really isn't responsible for.

Mary, Ralph and her other duck boys all have responsibility for their own shitty behavior.

Holy hand grenades! This was awesome!!! I literally want to read mire.

Interested enough to see how the self-improvement project goes. Had a chuckle when, after being told Microsoft and Grammarly were copasetic with this story, found "scored bored" for scoreboard starting off the beginning of the second paragraph.

Microsoft editor and Grammarly both gave you a 99%+ score on your writing abilities? I think you should get a refund!

So Mc starts to grow up spent 2 years doing it. Still owes 100k and wife still one of the town bikes. I would say move away, kids are a lost cause and find a new beginning maybe as a grass care for a stadium or a coach making millions.

The problem with Tnicoll's story was the wife solved the problem by whoring herself to every guy she found (even to his cousin)...I understand Tnicoll try to satirize these kind of men, but transform the wife and mother into a whore wasn't good solution. Divorce would be the only solution in order for her to try to have a happy life...So this follow up story never will correct that fact! 2*

Interesting story..

Setup it were dutch pass and leaves bobby some money maybe like some old stocks he had or something.

Still fill like a little revenge should be put on Ralph even its not too major maybe just to show everyone his new power and body .

Since he been getting Shit on and I get it but she turn into a whore no matter how bad Shit was she went way far he needs once again I say is a some kind revenge

And don't make him appoglize to anyone but kids his fuckin own mom knew said nothing so yeah fuck her I get it but don't just let him be only bad guy he did wrong but so did they only people he owes are the kids.

Remeber you made him a man. He can be remorseful and doesn't have to push over cut all his friends off they were not really friends

He needs a new town too???

I just want it to be MC turn for something good he has took all the Shit

Okay it bobby time make him look like a new version of Thor lol

Setup were another prisoners setup were he buys crypto and it hits big few months or maybe his busnies takes off big

Do everything Dutch taught him but don't let him take Shit from nobody for the love of all mighty. He was fuck up but what would you call the people that did it to him.

If he can't beat them make him rich I mean Shit

He cheated once but she is sleeping with four guys, plus one is his cousin who he still talks to? Guess you never been cheated on

Well, well, well. LW continues on its rapid downward spiral this morning. Stupid is as stupid does my grandma always said. This trash proves she was right. Couldn't wait to score it a one.

I like this, I know of something similar to the process, but I never knew Nick Saban wrote a book on it. I will have to look it up and give it a read through.

Gahh, why do I bother coming to this website any longer? Since the cuck idiots have taken over there's little to nothing worth reading.

Really like the plot. Keep going! 5*

Good start to a new story series. I don't know if I would call it a continuation.

It is your story not mine and I am looking forward to see where it goes.

As for the grammar, I am in the same boat I can't diagram a sentence that well. If I were to write, I would get those that love the stories but could get past writing style having so many errors and run on sentences.

It read well and our minds compensate for any errors. Just keep writing the stories as you feel. There are to many english/writing majors out of work that are forgetting some of us just read stories for the story.

The main character feels different from the one in the original.

Microsoft and grammerly failed you. Scored bored in the second chapter had me laughing. Good idea on the convict mentoring him, but the man is still a fuck up. A far as a story goes, you cut this off way too early. Go for 3 or 4 pages if you want multiple chapters. I still gave you 4 stars. Hope we don;t wait forever for it to continue.

creative, insightful, and well executed. This deserves a much better score.

Just one question, if they had an open marriage, why beat the guy up bad enough to get sentenced to Jail?

Waiting for the next part…. Excellent so far with the exception of the proofing that definitely needs some attention.

TK

are there tags that I just don't see?

5* - the original was a humorous flash story that you really fleshed out. Took an interesting twist. Looking forward to the next chapter.

If your partner is a loser who isn't living up to his responsibilities as a husband and father, that's a reason to divorce him. Not to cheat.

I like the direction this is heading. First story was a bit of a hot mess.

The original Bobby was TSTL (too stupid to live). Everyone knew she was fucking around and never said anything to him because they assumed he okayed it. That assumption tells us a lot about what everyone thought of the dipshit. The new Bobby is just as dumb and seems willing to be a cuck with no complaints. Sometimes you get just what you deserve.

How do you intend to improve on the original with this story? Should he go back to that whore who was having sex with the whole town? Then you're just making a cheap cuckold story out of a humorous exaggeration! Where's the fun in that?

Just too far out there. Confusing, convoluted and a real mess. NEVER continue.

I had read the original. This didn't grab me at all. Ended up scrolling to the end. No score!

Redemption stories are great. Don't listen to all the negativity. D

Shows what crap microsoft is what is a scored bored should be score board . this was in the first sentence of the tale.

The scored bored lights????? Did you mean scoreboard?

Flick it, it is still an awful story with awful characters.

1/5

I think this is well written.

I do find it odd that you wrote a serious continuation to what was clearly a humorous original story.

I also do not think the original story really portrays a marriage that can be fixed. You do not fix 15 years of behavior that caused her to lose all respect for him with a few months or years of good behavior. The past colors how people perceive present behavior. At most, she might be happy for him getting his act together.

Please try to keep part 2 somewhat believable.

why is everything on this site about men becoming a cuck I wish they would make a separate category for the cuck FANS Shit just

Second comment, I like a good reconciliation, and every now and then an RAAC, but in the case of your rewrite it should go straight to divorce, let Mary do the chasing. As far as Dutch goes, let him have been wealthy and have his estate give Bobby a nice sum of money to get his life back on track.

If Mary has had sex with as many men as said in either version, whether or not she had already lost any love for Bobby, stupid or not. They claim a tiger can't change it's stripes, can she unfuck herself?

You have my interest piqued. I’ll got out back and smoke a Marlboro and wait for the next chapter. 5*

I thought it was a really good opening chapter. I really enjoyed the character Dutch and what he did for Bobby. I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with this. The original wasn’t an easy story to take on and expand. You’re doing very well with it in my opinion.

Actually thought it started out good don't listen the rest please finish this. Thanks for writing.

This tale simply "will not compute", to fit with Tricolls'. However, I look forward to reading the next chapter. LP

Like it, but...... are you SURE you want to follow such a brilliantly designed bit of satire that Tnicoll wrote? Don't see how such a sequel would work, but it's your story. You've got Bobby in the process of reform- you've got your work cut out for you.

The original was worth a chuckle but still a piss poor story.

And, sadly, thats better than what this is or was or whatever you hoped this would be.

We get it, he'll be happy to have her back after being a round heeled slut....and what she is is on her, so that will NOT change him being a cuck and her being a worthless skank.

Ok the puts was useless and lazy but she was fucking everyone else? Nope thats someone who has fucking issues that go beyond her husband...a lover...as in singular could be seen as probable and that could be on him, so no, you aim to make him a straight up (funny as cucks arent straight huh!!) cuck and win her back.

Sorry you are going to fail on this one and deservedly so.

Love it

So Bobby was lazy and immature; divorce him and move on. But no, instead she keeps him around seemingly solely so she can play the long-suffering victim, like she's not in a situation she could've gotten herself out of years ago with minimal effort. And then the story facilitates that mentality by putting her on a pedestal and acting like Bobby needs to be worthy of her time. Maybe before she started fucking around that might've been true. But now she's as low as he is and, quite frankly, they need to divorce for the sake of their children. Bobby needs to reinvent himself for himself, and take the failed marriage as a learning experience and a reminder of what can happen if he goes back to his old ways. Reinventing himself so his wife won't be a slut anymore is a shitty motivation.

Really enjoyed this so far. Thanks for writing it.

Though I hate to admit it I think the dialogues between Dutch and Bobby in counseling were amazingly logical and had truth in them. Great job there Omegaman56.

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Is it really sensible for Bobby to go back to Mary? If I may add my two cents, I don't think so. Too many men did Mary had sex with I don't think it would be good for Bobby's self-respect. I think it would do Bobby good to stick with Dutch's advice not to have any sexual encounters with Mary (and to avoid other women for a while) in fact Bobby shouldn't go back to her at all. Work on his self-improvement process and also focus on the kids' welfare. Mary's sexual adventures would put an obstacle to that self-improvement every time Bobby will remember the men Mary had.

man oh man... no man with balls could reconcile with such a bitch character but ... it's your story.

Read again. Good he grew up but why would he want his wife back?

original story and your story have only the Chara-names in common?

Her declaration of love alone makes no sense, as well as his crying out to her - in the context of the original

but otherwise this is one of the best motivational stories I've read in a long time

I don't quite understand the relationship/divorce thing, since they should both be emotionally separated enough to just go their separate ways?

You probably shouldn't say RAAC if you mean Reconciliation.

I've never been in prison, scared shitless of Bubbas, but the interaction of Dutch and Bobby sounds very believable. In some ways this was an improvement over the original.

I can't reconcile(see what I did there?) this Mary with the Mary in the original. I guess we'll see how it works out going forward. You've made an excellent start and I'm enjoying it.

The original was a shitty joke. So… trying to make chicken soup outa chicken shit ?!?

We know the outcome.

Captcha

Thanks for this story. I don't care what the other comments say, I enjoyed this more than the original. Maybe I'm a sucker for a bit of hope.

Looking forward to the next instalment

He got a college education at the states expense. But will it take?. LP

Great life story. Enjoyed this read. Thanks for your writing.

Mmmmmmmm not a bad story,

Lots of potential

Liking it so far! Thanks, now off to chapter 2. 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!