Conversations 04 - That Christmas

"Yeah, thanks. Also, there are no details about our savings or investment accounts. I looked it up online, and all of the examples I saw mentioned a detailed accounting of all money, retirement accounts, and owned assets. It just states that all assets are to be sold and split fifty-fifty.

"Chris, I know this is the firm that does the legal work for Preston's father and his company. Until I stopped talking with Preston, he was pushing me hard to file for divorce. He tried to tell me that you were seeing someone already and that you never loved me. He did say he would get this firm to file for me at no cost. Is it possible that he had them send you the divorce papers to get us to fight and actually file?" She went into deep thought mode for a second.

"Well, when I took this to Franklin, he said it was the worst petition he had ever seen. He questioned the legality of it all the way. We thought maybe you did it this way to just get the divorce over with." I took a breath before continuing. "It's also one of the things that made me think you had Preston waiting in the wings. It also said to return it to the lawyer's office, which I guess is appropriate. But the note here," I pointed to the last page, "said not to contact you. I thought that it was strange to list it on these documents.

"I was pissed that you did this at Christmas and ruined my holiday. I dropped off the forms..." I stalled for a second. I was about to show her how petty I could be, but I thought honesty was best. "So, I dropped off the forms yesterday to ruin your day as well. I felt, if you thought so little of me, I would share the sentiment."

She turned and looked me in my eyes. "Well, if that was your goal, you were successful. I stared at those papers for about two hours before I came over here. I hated you so much. How could you destroy my favorite holiday like that?" I could see the anger return to her face. "I wanted nothing more than to beat you to death with them. Bon-Bon and Brandon tried to keep me from coming. They even hid my car keys but didn't know I kept a spare set. I snuck out and came here to have it out with you.

"You broke my heart, Chris. I was so angry with you but when I saw you sitting in the dark, I could tell you were hurting, too. I'm sorry I hit you with the packet."

"Yeah, that's another thing. We need to get a hold of your desire to throw things at me when you get mad. I won't live in fear of my wife. I wouldn't want you to be afraid of me when you tick me off, and I shouldn't be afraid of you." My tone was cutting. Pointed. I meant what I said. I knew she had a temper and at times I loved her passion, but I couldn't be in fear of her.

"I know. That's always been a problem; I get so mad that I need a release. I just don't know what to do" Her eyes turned down; she couldn't hold my gaze any longer.

"Just a thought. We can discuss it in counseling, but I think we both could use better outlets for our anger. If we had them last month, we wouldn't be in this mess." I pulled her closer to me. "I still have that heavy bag in the garage. I could show you how to use it. I know it makes me feel better to punch myself out on it." She gave me a sheepish smile and nodded her head.

I picked up the papers in front of us. "Next week I'll send these back to Franklin and have him do some research. Let's find out what's going on here. Sound good?"

"Yes. You know," she paused, biting her bottom lip as she eyeballed me, "we have a couple of hours before we need to go see Bon-Bon, and it's been a long time since I've felt you..."

I didn't let her finish the thought before I pulled her in tight and kissed her. We hastily made our way to the bedroom falling onto the bed. It was without a doubt my favorite gift that year.

I would love to say that all our problems were magically solved. Fiona was a difficult person to live with at times. We did find a counselor in the new year. She helped us with several of our issues, mainly with how to communicate.

Fi learned how to use the heavy bag and it proved to be a great outlet for her physical anger. She used it a lot in the following months. Sometimes I created the need but usually, it was Preston.

Franklin contacted the law firm that drew up the divorce petition. It indeed was drawn at Preston's instigation. With Franklin's help, we filed a complaint to the Bar Association. Both the junior attorney as well as the partner he worked for were formally sanctioned.

Fiona ended up filing a complaint with her Human Resources team. Preston received formal counseling from the HR Director, but nothing beyond that happened. That February she quit her job and took a new position with her company's direct competitor. Her slightly reduced salary was a small price to pay to finally be freed from Preston and his reach.

That June we went in for a third IVF treatment. We lost that baby in the third month. We decided to wait a year, went on a wonderful three-week cruise of Northern Europe, and acted like newlyweds the entire time. A few weeks after our return, Fi fell ill. You guessed it, I finally manned up and put a baby in her the old-fashioned way.

Mary Kathryne Miller was born healthy and happy nine months later. It seems that after we figured out how to conceive naturally, we couldn't stop. Eighteen months after Katie came, her brother, Conor William joined our family. Almost two years to the day, Riley Sile brought our little family to a total of five. For a couple who had a slow start to building our family, we had to start taking precautions to limit it! Each child was a perfect blend of their mother and me and I thank God every day for my family.

As the years went on, Fi and I started to refer to that period of our life as 'That Christmas'. It was 'That Christmas' that we almost lost it all. It was 'That Christmas' that we gained everything. It was 'That Christmas' that we learned how to love each other better.

Though I hated living through 'That Christmas,' I will always be grateful for it.