All Comments on 'Corporate Family Dinner - Epilogue'

I didn't even bother reading whatever crap you tried to serve up. I don't care. You flogged this horse to death. You've beaten it into submission. Quit writing.

It's. Not. Going. To. Happen.

very bad 0*

I enjoyed that. I especially like the cloak and dagger stuff involving the sadist.

Enough of these people. Move on. No new insight here.

simply put .. just did not understand this at all . my opinion this is just stupid

has gone over the edge because he received a lot of comments on this story, originally. He cannot give up his 15 seconds of fame. He is obsessed with it. I fear he'll try writing about the kids, the cousins, the secret killers, anything just to remain in this moment, which is totally gone, by the way.

Save your time for better purposes, readers (for the author this tip obviously comes too late)!

I liked Bob learned not to take marriage for granted.

Just wish Bob would have nipped situation in first chapter and kept marriage.

Atleast both seem to be happy in the end.

This does not add anything other than "and they lived happily ever after. No twists no likeable insight...

You have some compulsive issues. Why won't you just let this story die, end or simply go away?

Why do you keep coming back to this story? Epilogues and ill advised rewrites .... I know you put a lot of work into it but remember it was your own narrative choices that stopped this tale from being a top story not anything else ( except perhaps your rush to finish it ). It's over .... Move on .... Write something new.

Can't you understand when enough is enough?

Beating a dead horse. You're spiraling out of control, Justbobkc. No one liked the original dungheap of a story. Why do you keep doing this? You aren't helping your cause. Please just go away. Just don't write any more and we'll all be quite happy with you. You have zero credibility at this point.

I think you need some colleagues to discuss your work with. You need some feedback you trust, and that you can learn from. I suspect this epilogue would be fun to discuss with you. It was pointless to read.

Please, Please, Please STOP!! You're just using the space a good writer could

utilize! This is worse than the last one you submitted!!!!

if the asshole of LIT hates it , then the story must be good!!

I had to laugh at the gratuitous comments of one "Anonny" when he said that no one like the original story, which of course was patently BS and that does not stand for Babs S. Yes, this Epilogue was not necessary and there are some things to nit pic about, but if the author wanted to write it, so be it. It did seem rushed a bit and more about tying up of loose ends that didn't need to be tied up. This probably should have been a continuation of the original with the various characters developed around a somewhat different story line.

Find a totally different story line and start over. Find a good editor that will keep you lined up with the storyline so you don't start wandering into juvenile stroke stories. If you want to write stroke stories do not expect them to rate very well as none of them do. Read some of the Hall of Fame stories and see what the really good writers do. Small amounts of erotic sexual encounters but mostly just really great stories about good characters. They do not vary their storylines.

It started out interesting then went down hill from there. For some reason the author refused to let go. Subject wise it's all over the place, ending up with the Literotica favorite of some sort of bad ass "black ops."

At most this story could have been wrapped up in 4 chapters. Instead we get at least 8 chapters, if the epilogue is counted. Personally, I think this author should continue writing, if he can learn to stay on subject. I gave this story a one star, simply because it has no reason to exist.

I read the whole thing and never really found the erotic part of it. Was it the whipping? Was it the killing? Either way, neither one was very indept. There was a brief mention of sex, but no detailed elaboration to the subject. There were so many characters, but very little depth to them. Maybe classing this as a loving wives story was mismatched. It should be more of a faux action adventure. Just my honest opinion.

Serena Williams??? black opts??? You really have quite the imagination.. This ending was over the top to me, but it was a way to tie up some loose ends.. Keep writing. Look forward to more..

This was a pathetic story. It should have been over a long time ago. 1*

...where the story went to. Too much confusion and too much bla bla.

This exercise is completely unnecessary. It's just gratuitous sex and violence that adds nothing to plot or character. If you're going to write, you need to learn what to cut. This series had a lot of potential, but you undermined that potential in the later chapters, then blew it up with this "Epilogue."

WTF???

It is hard to fathom the point of this. It's smacks of trying to salvage the story, but it fails. It's as if you went into writing the story with visions of it being hailed as some kind of magnum opus, and when the reaction increasingly drifted to "meh" you tried to make something out of it between this and the alternate chapter 1.

<P>

Stop. You tried, and it really didn't work. Nothing you add to this story will change that.

<P>

Look, the only ones who seem to be giving this any praise are the ones who give the same trite, rote, cliche comments (e.g.,, 5 for effort and content, posting anonymous comments slamming anony, or the assholes of LIT). That's not good.

Re - What was the point?

Well said. Author needs to either accept the results on a rather meh story that got away from them or pull it from the site if the scoring, comments and reader reaction bothers them. This re-doing bits and pieces is just sad and is not going to change anyone's mind.

next time u do a story start out the wife doing the shit on wimpy sick guy.but before the story ends in the first chapter have a dom female take his ass from his fool wife and have a war between the ladies not the the male babbling over a sloppy pussy of a wife.

Just some clarifications...The most important how the sadist died...3*

When a story is annoying people on this section this much I'm airways struck by the possibility it might be worth reading. But no, just tried to start at the beginning of this and it's garbage. The constant changing perspectives doesn't add anything, you repeat yourself constantly as a result of it too. And mostly it's just badly written.

Guess it's good it's finally over, don't add any more epilogues or remakes, this isn't worth it.

Stopped reading this after chapter2, justbobkc. I did enjoy your addition to RichardGerald, "The Bridge-A Little More". I want to say I look forward to an original stand alone story from you soon.

It looks like your english has improved. Now you just need an idea.

Good luck, justbobkc .

AMerryman

The longer this story gets the worse it is. Please tell me it is over! It wanders around like a drunk.

Uh - hate to break it to anyone but it's my story - and I'm working it.

And all those so dismissive of "formulaic" human condition stories - read the Bible and Shakespeare, Gilgamesh and Greek Mythology - and that covers it all. It's ALL formulaic and already been done, since basically about 5000-10,000 years ago.

Love, hate, craziness, brilliance, sex (in ALL forms including incest, sodomy, bestiality and pedophilia), marriage, adultery, and even abortion, etc. etc. etc.)

So - Duh! Hell yes my stories are "formulaic". ;-)

Actually not too bad, except how you continued to take two steps forward and then cycle back a step. That cycle back was good only once to give us background but you did it way too many times and I suspect the Anoy's got lost and confused, aka blasted you.

I will say that I think this story is about two parts to long - lot of minutia that the story didn't need and too many detailed repeats (usually of past sex) that did not help the story.

If there is one thing that was sort of haphazardly down was the details of the IMTR Exec's and what happen to them/their marriages - and there had to be more in the know that got away with the 'Dinners' goals. You imply some Govt something and fall short.

As far as the black KS well it didn't fit the story other than dramatic affect - Will told him to drop it early on and get on with his life - so how did he discover those details for the story? You just made a bigger hole for the one you were trying to fill...

I do agree with a Comment'or that a good editor would have improved this story by tightening it up, creating a proper sequence, context, and make it readable not loosing readers due to your cycle-backs. Overall 3.9* If you did use an Editor - fire 'em!

This wrapped everything up very nicely.

I have just spent a good part of today reading this whole story. I admit that I was really impressed how the physical, emotional and personal interaction between so many characters was woven together from beginning to end. I really enjoyed the whole story.

Thank you for entertaining me

Just showered after reading all 9 chapters....

My wife found this story and we both enjoyed it. Her eyes always light up when she sees a story about a wife ‘helping’ her husband climb the corporate ladder.

My company had annual parties that were similar to the ones in your story. So, my wife really identified with the wife in your story. She’s spread her legs more than a couple of times to get me a promotion! Several sections of your story just jumped out at us, for example:

* “…about 1000 pairs of eyes in that room were staring at me and my…luscious wife being monopolized …by "Sam".

OMG! That says it all, we have been in that exact same situation. My wife was thrilled to have made the cut and been invited to the ‘after party’. So, she enjoyed having the 1,000 pairs of eyes staring at her. But, at first, it was difficult for me to have all those people staring at me. However, after the first few parties, I was proud that my wife had been ‘selected’!

* “And with everyone…starting to exit the ballroom doors at the rear - Elaine and a few other beautiful and very sexy looking women were kind of herded into the whole entourage and they all left via a side door near the front.”

OMG! That is a powerful description. My wife was also in a ‘herd’ of beautiful wives that left by a side door with management! For me, as a husband, seeing my wife ‘herded’ off by the Alpha males really set me back on my heels. It was just so primitive, and erotic, that my wife (a young filly) had chosen the stronger stallions to mate with!

One boss insisted that my wife apply Nair hair removal crème to my entire body twice a month. That helps us remember that he owns her body, pussy, and sexuality. And that I am just her prepubescent eunuch.

* “I noticed a few other now "single" guys like me - but we didn't look each other in the eyes. Just turned and walked out in the general crowd.”

OMG! That describes it perfectly. We husbands really didn’t feel like talking to each other about what was going down with our wives.

The only thing left was to go home and jack off all night, imagining what she was doing! After my wife attended her first few parties, I started to enjoy the suspense and jacking off until a driver delivered her to our home the next morning.

We loved your story, there is nothing as sexy as a wife who will whore herself out to make a real estate sale or to help advance her husband’s career. That’s what a wife should do and that’s teamwork!

Don’t get the point of the epilogue. Unnecessary. Otherwise good story.