All Comments on 'Cross Country Coach'

"... and after pausing for a few minutes to catch his breathe, ..." - 'breathe'?

"His side ached as he walked through the school parking lot towards the them, ..." - 'the them'?

""Go ahead and lift up your shirt" she said in the most matter of fact manor. " - 'manor'?

"... as his running shorts rid pretty low and ..." - 'rode'?

"... with an expression of upmost longing. " - 'utmost'?

"... above her head while he trusted into her rapidly." - 'trusted'?

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Great story!!!! Would love to read more from you. Especially if it involvoes the same main character and maybe a return visit fron the sexy coach. Yes there are a few grammatical errors but so what... this site is for entertainment not proffesional authors, and this story definitely entertained.

Though, it was a bit short. Sometimes the events leading up to the sex are the best part of the story. Maybe add more back story - he sees the husband and coach fight from a distance. Times she catches him looking at her and vice versa. Maybe times she gets close to him at practice and they are both a little embarrassed by the sexual tension. Kind of lay the ground work so it isn't just her looking and him and giving into raw lust right away. Sometimes more is better. I do know it is easier said than done.

Also, you may want to proofread to eliminate typos,though believe me I have read worse.

All that said, I did enjoy your story. Definitely write some more.

The story needs to develop more than what it has. Do not leave us hanging in thin air. Go back to the drawing board and start again .

while it is a good first story it does need more of a build up...maybe even have her ask, "john you're 18, correct?" or something like that in addition to the added prequel. But overall its pretty good. all it needs is more beginning and end

The first thing I do when beginning to read a new story from a author I don't know, is to check if they can write decently in English. After that box has been checked I look at how long the story is, which is the only two things that will make me drop an author faster than a bad habit. Unfortunately this author has the same problem allot of new authors have by being lazy and putting out a story that's not even a full lit page. I wish literotica put a minimum on story length to weed out allot of the lazy authors who don't want to put the time in and release a good story