All Comments on 'Cuckolding from a Woman's View Ch. 10'

And about time somebody in this story came out as a MAN. Hope the injuries to the two cocks were permanent & visible, can't wait to see his revenge on 3rd sister & husband. My only hope is now that Mary is addicted he deprives her.

better and better. I can't wait until Bud cleans the table with these evil women and has the men trying to hold onto their balls as he takes then away. Great story lots of sex, drama and excitment. Can't wait for the next chapter. God I would love to see all of this happen!

Surprised! In ch9 Mandy was so full of lust, I expected her to fuck Roger. However I suppose that pulling Roger off was the only way for the fuck to cease. Beating the shit out of the fuckers seems logical, but am not sure about the style of revenge. You had readers sitting in the edge with expectation, but the last chapter does not seem to click. Bud has not been portrayed as a tough violent type & if he was such a fine cocksman, why did mandy lust after others?

Still, maybe when one snaps there is a change of personality. Cannot wait to read ch 11.

Excellent, maybe your best ever! More!

I almost stood up and cheered. Not just the issue of letting Mandy make her own decisions after making his desires known, but then, not letting her off the hook with excuses.

The bit with Danny and Mary was brilliant. Amazing how the same activity they enjoyed so much (cuckolding) was suddenly their undoing -- just a little twist and the whole character of the situation changes

I just read this whole mess and can't understand what anybody sees in hear that was worth the time spent reading it. When did Don change his name to Danny? Most of the story is writtenn in the third person but then suddenly it is first person from Mandy's view point and then it's first person from Bud's POV. There are continuity problems all through the story. For instance, the the night Bud watches Roger fuck Mandy. The author write that Bud is standing behind Mandy but then he says that Mandy was watching him when she was about to get on the bed and Bud didn't get up and finally when he lost his temper the author said that Bud stood up. When did he sit down?

Sentence structure throughout this story was terrible. Many times the author stung words together that didn't even make a sentence. Obviously this story was not spell checked or proof read. Better luck next time.

George

You've blown it, NeedYou. You had a great premise, an excellent buildup, & then you succumbed to the pressure of all those idiots who don't understand the difference between erotic fictional play and the reality principle. Not only that, but Bud's expression of his REAL MASCULINITY as violent, illogical rage has taken this story to the same level as all those schizos who can't wait to read a cuckolding story and then slime the author with incoherent anger.

This was really good. Bud made Mary's husband know how he felt or was going to feel with interest. Not sure if this is the direction you are going to but it seems that now that Mary wants to be with Bud if he is serious about getting even with them for what they tried to do between him and Mandy, and basicly did, he would cut her(Mary) off. That would be good revenge for her since she would never again get what she really wants and has wanted for so long. The relationship between her and her husband is basicly gone I think and she would be alone. Sure she could find other partners but now she woudl be judging them by Bud as her new standard and most likely could be disappointed for the rest of her life. A bit of emotional and physical revenge for her.

Looking forward to seeing what he does to the other sister nad her husband cause they certainly are going to find out what happen. Now just looking forward to what Mandy is going to say and feel.

good job of comeback,best you have done.i hated chapter #9.chapter 10 is outstanding.you the man.

You do a good job of building suspense but I would like to make on suggestion.

This suggestion could really apply to all the writers here.

Please, no more Navy Seals. If you feel you must, how about using the Rangers or Green Berets. They don’t carry the same cachet as the Seals but they aren’t nearly as overused either.

it has been interesting, but the violation of char in this chapter is a bit much.

1. Bud is suddenly a SEAL, with combat training, a super hero. where did this come from? he wasn't acting like one - not proactive at all but passive.

2. Mary who has used the big cocks, suddenly is enslaved by the magical 8incher? so much so she takes orders from Bud, and not Dan or the giant dick? a bit much, eh?

3. Dan, danny - he enjoyed being a cuck, but suddenly he hates being a cuck to Bud? uhm, what? it no longer turns him on?

4. then there is the whole matter of Bud's internal morality. he didn't want to be a cuck, a cheater - but NOW it is suddenly ok to have his sis-in-law? you set up the "honorable man" and now make him descend to their level?

it seems the only character that STAYS in char is Megan. it is a bit much. a good revenge story is one thing, but to violate characters after 9 chapters is too much.

Once a SEAL always a SEAL. Most of us don't flaunt what we were or are but we use it when we have too. Most of us after many, many years away from the training and the assignments and the blood and the guys and the beer still know how to defend ourselves if we have too. And most of us retired men don't go nuts until we are pushed and pushed into doing something. That's exactly how I made Bud out to be in this strory or tried to make him appear. Anyone who knows an old SEAL just ask him or her now adays. He'll most likely tell you if he told you he'd have to kill you! Just laugh at that! Never mind what it means. We react when we have to react and not before in most cases. You see that's what the surprise is when you find yourself on the floor with your lip three sizes to big for your face looking up at us if you can still look up. But, if you really want I'll change the next story to one of those sissy green guys or maybe a Ranger. Hey don't they fight forest fires or something?

You do a nice job of creating an atmosphere of sexual tension.

I hope you don't focus solely on Bud's actions from now on because his wife's relationship with her sisters and her growing obsession had real tension and energy.

The plot meanders, I find it hard to believe there is no contact between the sisters for months, no one calls about his actions, and if a Navy Seal hit someone in the windpipe, there's a good chance that person is dead.

I have enjoyed this so far. This part about Bud was needed, but I also we get back to the women's point of view. How did the sisters feel about Bud, what he did. How does Mandy feel now about Bud and her marriage. How does she feel about her sisters and there husbands and what they tried to do to her and her marriage... Is there anyway back for Bud and Mandy. I am sure he still loves her

This chapter started with an extreme emotional state for Bud... And he dealt with it with remarkable calmness. A proper "red mist" would have had this chapter in the Erotic Horror section. (Body parts and blood doners required.)

I'd like to see some repercusions of the initial part of the chapter. Stan and Roger just scurry into the woodwork? Jan and Mary are still playing despite the upheaval Bud's enforcement of his marriage? It seems so. With Stan and Roger?

Getting revenge. He has had four months to think about it...

What about Mandy. If Bud still loves her what is the future? Keep her chained up in the basement? Does Bud think she won't cheat again? What has Mandy been up to in the last 4 months? Maybe she has a diary... as she won't be going out much I guess. What is her mental state? The piece between Bud and Mandy when she pumped out the by the numbers excuses and he just told her flat she is fooling herself could have made her much more honest to herself.

What the hell will she do when she finds out about Mary!

Feel less for Bud?

Wish it was her with Danny and Bud chained up?

Her to realise that Bud is just as bad and for her to get her own revenge!?!

Bud - Is he as mixed up over Mary as he is for Mandy? Did he screw her to get his confidence back? To hurt Danny? four months of planning? Maybe he has chosen to take a few casualities to inflict a greater goal.

Bad English - It is a bit rough in a few places, but I can live with it! I'd prefer to see the next chapter sooner rather than it having to wait a week to be proofread just to fix trivial things...

---

The story could have gone a number of ways. And I am sure you'll manage to put a swerve in future chapters...

Give us turmoil *NeedYou*. Stick the knife in and slowly twist it.

the story is progressing NICELY. I really like how you presented all three sides of the cuckold 'fetish'.

But Now we enter the strange world of the 'I don't like it' guy....Other wise known as REVENGE.

Very creative, take the power away from the people and give it to Bud. Let them live HIS hell.

Now to address some issues...

1: I agree with another poster, Saw_man1 I think , why does all the super guys have to be Ex-SEALS? They can be Rangers, or Marines, or simple Air Force (they train in HtH too ya know). Authors, let's mic it up some! ;)

2: As for the 8inch cock beating the monsters.... I point to three stories that express this for me, X-Bishop's "Every Year, Every Christmas" and Troubador's "Wife Gets Caught" and "Wife Gets Even"

In the first, the 'villian' didn't have a massive dick, he jsut knew how to use it.

In the Other two the bad guy was a massive 10incher or so. But he was a brute. The hero's gentle love making skills were presented as VASTLY better.

This is what NeedYou did. A massive Thrust vs. skill and devotion. Remember Shaq still can't throw free throws.

Now can they get back together? I really don;t think so...the betrail is jsut TOO much here.

Remember he is trying to get HER to file for divorce so he is now pushing it.

Ah what a wicked web we weave...

Loved the story especially when he got her home and she said that she was 'sacred'.Also liked where had a cut and styled 'bread'Just a minor point,how the fuck could Danny scream whilst he was gagged?Wouldn't it be better to top the lot of them?

I said in Chapter 9's comments that Bud would break and the marriage would be over with and that he had told Mandy "NO" to sharing her with another man. I am happy that you did not write Bud as a whimp like Donny and John. Yes, Bud did break and he dragged his soon to be ex-wife out of the house naked. He confronted Mandy about how many times she has done this before and she did say she did it with Roger when her sisters kept urging her to do so. Very Well Done... Next came the Revenge Part which I enjoyed so very much. He put Donny in his place, made his see what it was like, then made Mary his slut, probably for Mandy. It will be hard to extract revenge on Jan and John. But, where there is a will, there is a way. Even if is not able to extract Revenge on Jan and John, he should just kick Mandy out so she can go live with them. Bud can always call Mary to come and comfort him because Mary is a born slut and HIS slut. Since this will probably wreck Mandy and Bud's marriage, Bud should try to break up Mary and Donny, Jan and John marriages. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

Its about time that a REAL man shows up. LOVED IT!!!!!!!!! Hope the next one is just as riveting as this one. "Pay-Back is a BITCH"...

Paul

Ans..erotic when she humiliates her hubby this way?...

destined to destroy the couples' marriage?...

likely to create unplanned consequences, disaster and possible tragedy?...

the province of extremely weak and flawed individuals?...

ok as long as the woman enjoys it?...

ok if the man doesn't after he wakes up to what's happening?...

All of the above and more even many more likely negative outcomes.

So after ten chapters, it seems we will have to wait even further to see just how the title is demonstrated in the work, ie Just what IS cuckolding from a womans view?

The women in this story seem now quite addicted to their slut-wife lifestyle, is that their view?

What would be the woman's view in the reverse situation, if her husband bought home a couple of tramps from the bar, and insisted she watch him fuck them? (we all know bloody-hell would break loose!!!) Worth a thought though, and I'm sure NeedYou is trying to provoke those thoughts.

I hold very negative views about willing cuckold wimp husbands generally, but have really enjoyed this work for it's intensity of emotion and portrayal of character flaws in the likely participants of cuckolding by choice. The intrinsic aim of the activity to inevitably produce the humiliation of the cuck trancends anything experienced by mere cheating, so early on I knew for the author to create a plausible work, he would have to visit some strange corners of human psyche and fallability, and thus far has accomplished his aim, well done.

However, I can see the twist coming where Bud and Mandy will remain together even though it seems unlikely, with his dominance then brought to the fore. So for Mandy's 'view of cuckolding', does this represent what she really wanted in the first place, for Bud to reject it absolutely and her if she won't let it go? For Bud to be a real man, and exercise marital responsibility and arrest control of their relationship when she wouldn't/couldn't..ie the ultimatum, my way or the highway? Big problem now is that Bud stepped off the moral high ground with his revenge fuck of Mary (that will cut Mandy deep).

In life when seemingly equal relationships are subjected to one or both parties destructive whim, the balance changes if they stay together. If that occurs in this story it will be intensely interesting to see how it can be plausibly wrapped into the story line at this point. This author does have the talent though, and I can't wait!

So far (thru Chapter 10), this is your most imaginative and intriguing tale of marital consequence!!

You have twisted, contorted and contrived our emotions to the enth degree and we have loved it! You scoundrel! You have come a long way and you are appreciated in this theme where the pendulum of reality really does met out some form of justice.

Thanks Author - with High Regard (so far)

So he lost 20 lbs, a "full-grown cut and styled bread" and his parents don't recognize him. But no more than 4 yrs ago he was a lean, mean fighting machine in Afganistan(with beard & mustache)? And the sisters wouldn't have seen him when he came back?

I just don't buy into the hidden SEAL/secret agent/"I thought you were a cook in the navy" routine revealed at the last minute.

And that he's so good that his sister in law can't get enough of him; but not good enough that his wife was talked into straying?

It's just too comic book for me...

this type of story then just past it by and read something else. Thanks. It's a fictional story man with fictional characters and fictional plots and fictional everything else! IT'S FICTIONAL! Get a grip I don't care if you buy it or not! No one asked you to but it or read it. It's my fucking story, why not write your own and post it with your real name instead of using Anonymous all the time. No guts, huh? Guess you must be the dish washer if I'm the cook. Actually I was a weapons specilest in the Navy what did you do for your country besides read fuck stories and jerk your little cock off every night!

The characters in your stories are never logically drawn. You said before that they 'change'. That's a load of crap. Now you have Bud as an ex-Seal. Why not just have him rip his shirt open and expose his Superman costume underneath? It's just fiction right? It's just a story right?

Readers, if you are trying to follow this author's characters from chapter to chapter, please don't. This author likes to write very, very long 'stroke' stories. So please read these stories for the sex sequences (which are quite well done), and forget plot and characters; they change at his whim.

be man or woman enough to sign in and then comment. Sure it might not be much but at least then it shows you are willing to stand by your comments and some of these authors have a way of contact them or even some readers can contact them in hopes of discussing their problem. Or at least it's a form of being held accountable for their postings.

I'm just not getting it. Megan wants to cuckold Bud and offers Mary as compensation. She does it, he's pissed, so he takes Mary as compensation. How is this revenge on Megan? It's what she wanted.

Danny is happy to be the cuck, but suddenly he isn't. The more Mary enjoyed it, the more he enjoyed it, until now. Why? How is it revenge to give him what he wants?

Mary was even more guilty. She pushed Megan. So her punishment is that she gets her best sex ever. How is that a punishment?

Bud thinks that cheating is absolutely wrong. So as his revenge, he cheats. Who is he punishing, himself? He was indecisive. He repeatedly said he would think about it, not "No." Then suddenly, he acts as if he decisively refused from the beginning.

I don't understand why everybody is changing and why doing to them the things they want is bad.

Everyone who writes comments here is anonymous. Having a ‘handle’ does not make you any less anonymous, it only provides us an audit trail based upon the ‘handle’. Since anyone can sign on using your userid/password we have no authentication that you are you because your ‘handle’ is given again.

Having said that for ‘Effect’ I would add that it is very noticeable that when legitimate criticism is made of one of this author’s stories he NEVER seeks to explain himself, or his characters but immediately goes on the offensive berating the one making the criticism. I for one am fed up with his whining. If you cannot address your work then why comment at all? In addition, if you do not want criticism then turn off the feedback option.

The author's comment was really uncalled for.

It is really sad if the author thinks the only way to serve one's country is to serve in the navy, the army or whatever. The military does not work for free. They are funded by the people. I bet you were paid to serve in the navy. It is not any favor unless you served there for free.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with the story. An author should be polite when responding to criticism. If you think it is wrong, ignore it. Otherwise, you can use it to improve unless you think you are perfect.

Now I am not the author but let me try and answer your questions as I see it...

>> Megan wants to cuckold Bud and offers Mary as compensation. She does it, he's pissed, so he takes Mary as compensation. How is this revenge on Megan? It's what she wanted.

actually it's not. See he slept with Mary when HE wanted not when the wifes wanted. It's all about control. That is what cuckoldardy is about. COntrol over the husband for YOUR sexual satisfaction.

Think of it was a non friendly evil variant of BDSM, not to insult the lovely BDSM people out there.

But Bud did his actions when he wanted and how he wnated with out Megan's permition, see control.

>> Danny is happy to be the cuck, but suddenly he isn't. The more Mary enjoyed it, the more he enjoyed it, until now. Why? How is it revenge to give him what he wants?

Becouse he has the ILLUSION that he could stop it at any time. He was free and able to move. NOW he sees his wife as a wanton slut who DOES NOT care about him or his emotions/pride/pleasure.

He is NOW a real cuck. See before they were half swingers. She gets to sleep around and he's faithful to her and her needs. Now he's been taken OUT of the equation and he doesn;t like that.

>> Mary was even more guilty. She pushed Megan. So her punishment is that she gets her best sex ever. How is that a punishment?

ok I'm pushing it here but...now she knows what REAL sex is and her other lovers or husband wiillnot compare... 'Wife gets revenge' had the same theme. Great story...strange set up but great story/revenge.

>> Bud thinks that cheating is absolutely wrong. So as his revenge, he cheats. Who is he punishing, himself? He was indecisive. He repeatedly said he would think about it, not "No." Then suddenly, he acts as if he decisively refused from the beginning.

Well a multi parter. First remember how Bud is trying to drive his wife away. For some fucked up reason he wants HEr to file, ah if he files he will probally get more in the divorce but I digress..

As for indecisive, he wants his wife to deside against it for their marrage. But she doesn;t. he tries to put up the 'you might wnat to think of this' and she doesn;t. He wants HER to make the famility and HIM more importnat thatn a quick fuck. she doesn't.

>> I don't understand why everybody is changing and why doing to them the things they want is bad.

becouse it's doing it to them when they don;t wnat it. This is all about control. power.

Bud is taking that away. When he slept with Mary he took her husbands illusion of power away. tied up, no say in what happens and the best repetitive sex she has ever had.

the hsband will NEVER be able to compare. then he makes her HIS slut. The salt is added to the wounds.

now to see how he will get the other sister...

You DoctorWyldcard told it just like it is. That's exactly what I was trying to wirte about, CONTROL! Now the last chapter will show the damage to them all. I haven't finished it yet but it's coming! Thanks to everyone who wrote to tell me they liked my story and even those who didn't like it but left their names. I apprectae your input. Thanks again, The last chapter is coming stay tune.

Thanks DoctorWyldCard for the elaboration on cuckolding. I know about the issue of ‘control’ and the role it plays in ab almost a D/s structure between husband and wife. However, why are you explaining NeedYou’s story? Can’t he articulate what he was trying to say?

By the way, your explanation is an attempt to make the explanation fit the story. There are problems here with characterization and motivation that are not so simply explained away. The consistency and clarity of your brief review is NOT EVIDENCED in the story. Of course the author is grateful to have someone defend his work SINCE HE CANNOT.

Why did I 'jump' to the defense of NeedYou?

1: I like the sound of my own voice...:)...no seriously I do, people who commnet here are eather a: wanting to toot their horn or b: really effected by the story they read. Me it's both. Hey at least I'm honest!

2: As an author I know how it is to write something, think that you have it perfect and then get it ripped to shreads. Not that you did that but.. So if I thinkI might have an answer then I give it. Support the Authors, I might not LIKE what they wrote but I will go down fighting for them to write it and will encourage them too.

3: have you ever been in a book debate? You and some others read a book then go over all the 'issues' and what not?

Think Oprah's book club and give it some real literature and you have my point.

Some of the most active times for my mind recently have been wheile I was privately 'argueing' with other posters/authors over a story. We pick the story apart, put it back together look at all the sides etc..

and that's the stories we LOVE!

You asked questions, I gave my answers, NeedYou thanked me.

I want debate. If I am off then YOU or NeedYou or anyone else can easily contact me and let me have it. I will gladly go downin flames if I am wrong.

And I have been SEVERAL times on here before and have been publicly called on it.

Now as to the author defending the story and some 'errors' as you see them I have two things to say :

1: I think I beat him to the punch and

2: NeedYou is writing a chapter at a time then publishing them as they are finished.

As a writer and reader I don't fully agree with that but not for the reasons that most imagine.

As a reader I want it all NOW...the wait kills me

as a Writer I feel that 'I' would be too worried about making everyone happy to actually have the guts to write MY tale.

NeedYou doesn;t seem to have THAT problem. NY has a clear view of the course that the story will take and is going there. Bravo NY

But I iwll tel you, when you write a LONG story, and none of mine are nearly this long, you have to remember that there willbe some 'character drift'. The authors mood changes one day to the next, the lighting is different, a story he reads effects him more than he thought, etc.

Now PROFESSIONAL writters have this high, and some times too lowly, paid editors that keep him on track.

When you are giving your editor one chapter at a time for them to edit IN THEIR SPARE TIME, then they will gat that chapter right but they don;t have the time to get the story downpat...and the pros also give it all at one time too...the editor can have a bad week too.

Are any of the stories on here perfect? nope. some are close but you can pick any one them appart, even the ones I love have flaws that 'I' can see.

But were they enjoyable, HELL YES!

Now right or wrong we all have our opinionson this story, I know you are tring to point out the 'errors' in it that is making it not as pleasureable as it could be for you. i amjsut adding in another voice. Were someof my ideas 'hammered' in ... yes. But I think they work.

If you wnat to continue this we can eather give NeedYou more of a bump, I think they'd like it >:) or you can contact me in private.

Now to end this novel or a responce...thank you NY for this story. Didn;t thinkI wouldliekit at first but now you have me watching for more from you!

I felt good about the first part of the story and disappointed during the revenge episode. I though better of Bud and wanted his revenge to be a bit more sophisticated, more diabolical rather than physical. I also wondered how Bud could disguise his voice from Mary. The sexual encounter between Bud and Mary was exciting; however, it left me wondering how he would handle that with Mandy for whom he obviously still has strong feelings. I wondered also about Danny's objection and as a cuckhold how come he was so upset considering his previous behavior while viewing his wife's estatic responses with her professional studs. I had the distinct feeling that he might enjoy the entire event. I also felt that the phone at Bud's home would be ringing off the wall ten minutes after Danny's bonds were removed. The eroticism is certainly there and well presented; however, if there is love between Bud and Mandy it could have been enough to get her to treatment and heal their relationship, now I'm not so sure. Mandy and her sisters had to have been predisposed to such behavior but Mandy picked the wrong man to cuckold and she should have known that. No hairy chested, macho, warrior is going to sit by and observe his beloved wife writhing and moaning in ecstacy while she is being serviced by some male prostitute with a huge cock while he is relegated to a humiliating second place. Never the less, the story is intriguing and I find myself looking forward to the conclusion. What goes around will come around. I fear for them all.

This is one of the most stupid stories I've ever read.

This cuckhold voyeur "Bud" has always fantasized about fucking the sisters. Not only that, but he musturbates while watching them fuck strangers, some with dick a few times his size (working in the gym wouldn't have increased his dize diameter that much!); he fantasizes about Mandy, his own wife, fucking others. Just didn't want to give her permission.

Fuck that, as Mandy correctly did: I'll fuck any one big dicked guy I like, just like my sisters! (The tears and begging are only to appease our hero Budhead's false ego.)

Budhead's just not honest like the other husband. He's a little man in a big man's shell. The other guys and their women are at least honest and open; they enjoy what they do. "Bud" pretends to be just the opposite, but in reality he pretends to be offended when they invited him, when his loving wife Mandy, invited, him to their place and watch them fuck Roger and other dig dicked brothers.

Bud the voyeur keeps his pretense even as he fucks one of the sisters and intends to fuck another. But he's not man enough, despite his violent streaks, so he require the wives to handcuffed their husabnd first; so as he fucks their wives --- normal activities for ALL, including our Bud hero! --- they can't easily masturbate, which is what they crave: watching other man bang their wives so they can musturbate!

They are sexual beings who have spouses who are honest and open to sex and can scream all kinds of halirious things while at it: "Oh, god, you be the best, man. You tear my little vagina to pieces, lover. Yeah, yeah, deep. Show my husband you be my main man!"

It's sheer idiocy! The other two husbands are sexual people. Our hero/anti-hero "Bud" is a masochistic and VIOLENT, pot head voyeur!

Revenge?, yeah right!

Mandy, being a sexual person also, should kick this Budhead's ass out the door and have the kind of sex she wants, openly, like the other sisters and their husbands, instead of suffering with this Budhead idiot, who pretends to be moral, ethical, and monogomous --- but he's going to use his false puritanical idiocy to fuck around and deny Mandy what she really wants: Roger's big dick and others like that, like the other two sister have been having with their respective husband's blessing.

Per our Budhead hero: "This is revenge against those mother fuckers who have corrupted my little faithful and loving wife Mandy. And, folks, you've heard from the horse's mouth: Mary and Jan, too, soon --- both will have promised to be my private whores after just one good fuck! I promise you that; I'll show their wimpy husbands and that little Roger-dicked guy who's the real man where these beautiful sisters are concerned!!!"

It is so stupid, the plotting of this story! LOL

I understand the swinging, open marriage bit. If Husband and wife agree with no game playing and everything out in the open, I guess different strokes for different folks... but not for Me. This story is about extreme lying by the sisters. They mary, Jan wanted sex with big cocks, John Mary's husband talked mary into betraying her sisters This story is about Control, Lying, deciet revenge to the extreme as ate most of NeedYou's stories... To bad they have to be so extreme to make us think. So we don't make the same Mistakes .....Sharing your wife or husband makes a great fanasy. But most of us are kinda like Bud ...we can't live with the reality. Keep them comming NeedYou... you make us think and hit us where we live.

PS... Gee My son is Navy also but I am just a proud Dad

As an author you have complete latitude to write the story in any manner that suites you. It makes sense to me, having written stories for other sites, to always start by developing an outline. In fact, I spend significantly more time in developing the outline than in actually executing on that outline by writing the text.

I would question whether you ever had an OUTLINE for the story as a whole. The outline represents a vision for your. You can have a vision without an outline but it becomes harder to execute on that idea if the story is quite long.

When you write without an outline it’s like building a house without a blueprint: you start off thinking that it will have 4 walls, you add a fifth, then wonder where that second room came from. Well, as a reader, I am peering into that unexplained second room and wondering what was the builder thinking?

I can tell by the comments that a number of readers like the passion and emotion that you’ve brought to many of the passages. I like those too, I however, expect them to be a part of a coherent story and not isolated interludes of emotional release.

DoctorWylCard has been helpful in giving his interpretation of the story to date. Unfortunately, his statements while interesting, are not on point with the issues raised in numerous comments about inconsistencies in several characters behavior from one chapter to another. You don’t have ‘character drift’ if you work from an outline. Wnen you have too many inconsistencies in a story the very fabric of the story comes apart and it’s integrity becomes suspect.

I expect a personality to change in a story, but there must be some catalyst for that change, some reason. In addition, that catalyst should be apparent to me as the reader. Bud’s personality changes are inexplicable in light of what we have been told. Therefore, his outrage in this chapter left me confused.

I will not rehash other problems with how Bud was drawn in the story, or the problems with the sisters and the other participants. Reading through the comments here I think that others have done a great job in expressing my concerns.

What I find equally disturbing though, is your complete silence in addressing any of these obvious idiosyncrasies in the story. You venture a comment with attacks but never clarifications. If you had been silent and your editor had spoken then I would not be writing this note. But I don’t think you use an editor and you should. You ARE a good writer and therefore, editing your work would be challenging. So you need an accomplished editor. I hope you get one for the next story you write.

As it stands now so much damage has been done in chapter 10 that I cannot fathom how the last chapter will resolve the issues that a number of readers have pointed out. I’m eagerly awaitng the end of this trainwreck. Perhaps your next story will be more thought out in advance.

but I enjoyed what I read. In my opinion, Bud should get his revenge. But, if one was so inclined, how can someone like Bud truly get revenge on Mandy's sisters? Not much he could do without showing they still had control. It'd be like "you cheated so I'm gonna beat up your boyfriend". control is still in her court. so what does he do? he take control away from them... from the husbands and from the sisters. he humiliates the husband while Bud has his wife completely submitting to his whim because she sees how good sex can be. It's all about control. and Bud's just starting to get that back. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Great story twist which will satisfy those readers who can't handle the emotions of a cuckold being made into a wimp.

I felt the talent of the writer in chapter one, I was sure there were some great twists to come, and I sure have been rewarded for my patience.

Just goes to show that if you set out with malicious intent to fuck your brother-in-law's wife (Mandy in this case), things can turn on you in ways you could never have imagined. Danny has been taught an amazing lesson.

I just new Bud would get both Mandy and his heart throb, Mary. Jan is out there, but I don't know what will happen there. That is "writer's priviledge".

Just imagine for a moment, that Bud, a susposedly "cuckold wimp" gets the three sisters to dance to the tune of his cell phone calls in the future. That surely would be "cuckold's revenge" sweetly magnified - the ultimate reward.

This story was going great until Bud flipped out. Too bad the story didn't have Bud come around. You lost me at the end. It was shaping up to be one of my favorites.

What a piece of sick and deranged garbage !!

"1*" !

Fail.

Still , Great writing but this gets kinda busy and doesn't flow with the rest of the story

This is a great story however I fail to understand why Danny would be upset his wife is fucking someone, regardless if that someone is his brother in law. I mean one the night they went to Mary’s cuckold party she offered him her pussy before Bud got pissed off because his wife was taking a strangers dick