All Comments on 'Cuckolding: The Married Man Ch. 02'

How perceptive of her at this late date - her plans for his birthday were selfishly only for her - "0" for him in her sick mind!

Well done author - you have nailed where the buck stoped!

Thanks for the talent and consequence - with high Regard (so far)

that what i'm talking about.women tell there dumbass hubby it for you and it for them.fucking other men is for the women.

Hope that you don't have the hubby take the selfish whore back. What she did she did for her. I can't believe that there are dumbass men out there that allow thier wives to fuck other men, or put up with it. I think that singer's and people with open marriage's are fucking moron's. Why would anyone put themselves and thier spouse and for that matter there kids at risk. All it takes to get HIV from someone is just that one time. I know they say that they are careful who they play with, but i don't care how careful you are you don't know what the other man or woman has been doing. He/She might have fucked someone with HIV the night before and you would never know it. How can you be so fucking stupid. As for the story it was very well written and like i said i hope that ther are consequences for this whore wife. Maybe some revenge to.

i'm sure glad its just fiction. if she was real time this gang of readers would have strung her up by now!

eagerly awaiting the next chapter! hit the enter key and stand back !! lol

don

Your entire story was in paragraph format. I couldn't really tell when and if the character was thinking something or was involved in a conversation. All this "he said...she said...he said..." is tough on the eyes and the brain. You could separate each section of the conversation into different lines, not just one big jumble of text that has conversation and other things in it. Do use a thesaurus as well, there are many different ways to write 'said' and it would make your story much better with some variety.

The poor slob is up to his ears in legal trouble because a selfish bitch uses him as an excuse to get her rocks off. May I humbly suggest with all due mercy and forgivness that a sulferic acid douche is in order? Ronnie W.

Learning when to use 'quiet' instead if 'quite' and learning how to structure and pace your sentences and your story will come with practice. There are articles on Literotica and elsewhere on solving all of the common writing mistakes. Go back and re-read your own story and correct things when you encounter them. That aside, you do show a passion for the subject and the story did hold my interest even though its outline was familiar. Keep going and don't worry about the bashers too much.

Nice to read a story where the man is no wimp and one that shows the problems of fanasies. The fanasy is one thing doing it is another, doing these things ruin marriages and lifes. But an editor would be of great help to this first time writter. Keep trying

I think many of the negative comments are motivated by the writing itself, rather than the storyline. I clipped an example to show you:

"After a few days Mary found out where I was staying, Roger got a call from June and told him Mary was looking for me. He asked her what she had in this and of course she said nothing."

I had to read the first sentence three times to understand because you left out the word "she" as in "she told him Mary was looking for me." The next sentence took a couple of reads because you say "what she had in this" when you mean "what she had done" or "what hand she had in this". I think you're frustrating readers and they're angry with you.

That said, I have to add, as a former prosecutor, that the husband wouldn't be charged right away. You stretch things there, but that's okay. You also have the charges wrong, but no one cares about that - infliction of grievous bodily harm is a better fit than an intent charge. As an FYI, the law would look sympathetically on the husband but he could be charged if they decided he had inappropriately used force because the guy was running away when he was shot. You have the right to defend your home and loved ones, but if the person is running away, you don't really have the right to shoot them. The idea that any battery was committed on the other guy is silly.

I would suggest you work on your sentences by getting an editor on this board. See the links and FAQ's. You can also ask questions in the forum about how things like prosecution work.

Another FYI, the wife's statement doesn't hit the points a lawyer would make. The husband's lawyer wants to know things that acquit his client, not about their sex life: did you discuss these fantasise (yes), did you ever decide to act out these fantasises for real (no), did your husband at any time agree that you should have sex with other men (no), did your husband know that you were planning to have sex with other men (no), did your husband know that you were going to surprise him by having him find you in your bed having sex with two men (no), etc. He would also go through the whole plan she set up to make clear the husband was in the dark.

This kind of questioning could have made a good part of your story.

I don't know why it is that all people think about is the spelling, grammer, shit like that. SHUT THE FUCK UP and get into the damn story, I think it's a damn FINE story. I would have done the same thing if I came into my house found wife wife with some mans dick in her mouth and another dick in her pussy. I would have killed a 3 and dumped their sorry ass's in the damn river after splitting their bellys open. "Hard to prove murder without bodys. So people, listen to the story not the spelling nor the way it's worded, DAMN...

DAMN GOOD STORY, can hardly wait till the next part..

Paul

hammer17@hotmail.com

a bit hard to read sometimes and you had to go back and re-read it again, to clarify who said what,,, but if the authors works more at it, it is a good, refreshing style.

it actually sounds like in a real-life "flow", where things are hazy, unclear, cluttered, not making much sense --- the only thing that is ever present is pain and how do I get rid of this pain,,, why did it happen to me, what did i do to deserve this, etc. good

hopefully it doesn't become another, oh, honey, you too have suffered so much. it was good timing i caught those bad men you've fucking with or they could really have hurt you, you know,,, come here, give me a hug,,, aw, you know i can't stand your tears, honey; they're killing me. everything's gonna be okay, now that i am here ----

hopefully the story does take that kind of turn, which makes both the cheater and the cheated look pathetically dumb, which also makes the reader look dumber for reading it in the first place!

I was really glad this part was writen by the author.

"You said you did it for me, if that's true then why didn't you pick a fantasy of a good looking women, maybe even a black one, with a great body and nice tits. I could have done her well you watched, I could have gotten between her legs and ate out her cunt while you just sat there. She could have giving me a blow job and then I could have fucked her royally, while you watched. Then I could have put my cock up her ass till she came. Then you could have sucked her shit off my cock.

How does that sound Mary? She was crying, Well Mary would you have like that? She said no Dan, very quietly, I said what Mary? I can't hear you. She said no Dan I don't want to see you with another women. Why not Mary? She said because I love you Dan and I want to be your women. I don't want to see you with other women as she cried loudly."

Fantasys are just fantasies. I like reading a wide varity of stories myself but I'd never actually go through with the ones I'd like. Hell I think snowboarding is insanely cool but I'm still to afraid to even attempt the tricks I see done on TV or even go do steeper hills for afraid I'd seriously hurt myselves. Doesn't mean I'd like someone to push me down the hill or make it so I end up going down one without knowing it.

I'm gald DG had the husband comment the way he did at the end. What the wife did was for her and herself only. Why not have had women there instead as a surprise for him? Cause she wouldn't have liked it one bit. What honestly made her think that he would have actually liked seeing her with men. Fantasy is a fantasy. It isn't real and it's something you think about it.

Someone comment that the lawyer should have asked if the husband at one point ever suggest that he wanted the fantasy to ever be real or if he only talked about it as a fantasy? I hope the author tries to bring up that point in the story. Cause I'm getting the picture that the husband never would have even wanted the fantasy to be true. Sounded like a normal fantasy(one of many(thousands)) people might have. Doesn't mean they ever want them to become true or be able to handle it. That's why it's a mental thing(which it can be controlled).

I hope the idea of her getting herself checked out is done. Who knows what she's gotten from those two.

Husband getting charged here? I hope everything is dropped. Even if you want them to get back together I hope it's after a decent amount of time(seems like a one time thing but the impact is huge though) and a LOT of work. None of this is really his fault but hers assuming and doing things for herself with never really talking to him about real possiblities or desires but going off something that wasn't even real to being with.

You mena to say that people can have a fantasy and NOT want it fullfilled?

We are going to have to take your writer's licence away here young man. The Nazi's are on their way.

;)

Wow. Good tale, some problems but heck I'm not a lawyer, jsut a hack writer and I liked what you did.

Now the ONLY thing I can say to help you is get an editor. If you have ever read anything of mine, you should give my editor a bronze star for all the crap she has to go through to get mine in order. It can be a pain at times, you REALLY jsut want to get the tale out but they really do make the story better...

and you can shut the 'you need and editor, your writing sucks, etc crowd up.

Now what's up for chapter three?

I liked it. Did it have some errors. Yep. Who cares?

Please...keep writing. We can figure this out.

Good spelling, syntax, spelling and grammar ain't worth shit if the storyline sucks, like so many on this site. Conversely, a good story can transcend poor writing.

I do like the story so far, but please, do take advantage of the volunteer editors here.

First of all, let me reiterate 1) that this is a powerful, and very very good, story, and 2) that it is full of syntactical and grammatical errors that harm our ability to enjoy it to its fullest.

But let's stop all the self-righteous talk about "fantasies" and "reality." The fun of this story, I'm happy to admit, is still in its fantastical part -- it is what we call a "revenge" fantasy, or fetish. No one "wants" to have this sort of unbelievably horrible experience completely shatter an otherwise working marriage, but we enjoy reading about it anyway. We love seeing the whore wife get what she deserves. But let's admit that it's a fantasy like any other! Let's, well, not be judgmental pricks!

I mean, it's an intentionally extreme story. That's exactly what makes it so very very good. Wife doesn't just cheat, but has this way over-the-top excapade. Husband doesn't just find out, but walks in on it and goes completely fucking ballistic. Question: In "reality," do you throw away your vows because your wife is a whore? Well, speaking as a married man, the reason I got married is to announce to the world that I will think twice before making any decision, and that I intend always to come home at the end of the day. But this isn't reality, this isn't a serious moral tale about fidelity and marriage; if it were, he'd be more confused than this. He is steadfast and single-minded, unwavering in his anger and his refusal to forgive. And that's the part we love.

That is our fantasy.

I think that I understand the people that are upset with the story because of grammar and spelling. My case in point, the movie, A Few Good Men. When I first saw it, Cruise was ok, but Nicholson played the perfect role of a meglomaniacal egotistical maniac. I have enjoyed his acting for years and thought he deserved an academy award for that performance.

The second time I saw the movie, when the three defense lawyers were in Cruise's apartment preparing for the trial, I noticed something. Cruise walks over and opens the door and says that they should get some sleep. I see the door open, I hear the sound effects. Then there is a close up of Pollack and Cruise talking, 'THEN' Pollack opens the 'DOOR' and walks out. I see him open the door again and I hear the sound effects. Cruise and Moore talk for a minute, then she walks thru an open door. So it can not be a defective door that closes by itself. There was no sounds of the door closing like it did when opening. Now, the rational part of my mind tells me that the door problem was the result of multible takes and cameras that got missed in the editing. 'HOWEVER' now I realize that the film is not that good and this can not be one of Nicholsons better performances. I do not think that he is as good an actor as I thought he was.

Then the final court room scene, Nicholson is going to be arrested and he tries attacking Cruise and 2 MPs grab his arms and restrain him as he curses and threatens Cruise. When the MPs release Nicholson, he straightens his coat and I see his tie is slightly pulled out but straight down inside his coat. Then Nicholson walks over and picks up his hat. When he stands up, I see his tie is twisted and pulled completely to the side. NOW, I do not care anything about editing or different cameras or different takes. This movie sucks, the story can not be believed, Nicholson can not act, Nicholson should never be in another movie, Nicholson should be banned from Hollywood and all his movies should be collected and burned. I am right, RIGHT? Watch the movie for yourself and see. The movie sucks and Nicholson's acting is pathetic and horrible, RIGHT?

Okay, all sarcasm aside, I loved the movie and Nicholson performed perfectly. This story, like the movie has some editing mistakes and could be improved. Like the movie I enjoyed the story. DG, you tell a good tale, but you might want to have some help editing. If put to the task, I could find mistakes with my favorite authors stories, HDK, KK, etc, etc. 'But' I would rather enjoy the tale. Keep writing DG, we appreciate your efforts.

Gus

There is a lot of emotion in this story. I'm really enjoying it, I don't understand all the negative comments, I really don't. When I find stories I don't like, I don't tare up the author. I hit the back button and find something I do like. Waiting to read part 3. Great so far!

Evidently the story didn't take place in Texas since by law a spouse cannot be compelled to testify against their marital partner. It's my understanding that this is true in most other states as well.

Oh, well.

the guy tells her about his fanatsies and then gets upset because she acts them out. The fool should have kept his mout shut. What is funny is how you struggle to dump the bame on the wife. Well written but not your best.

You got the names mixed up. Roger becomes Ralph and so on. Your editor got caught sleeping on the job.Not a believable story.

Looking back at one of your earlier stories one can see how much you progressed in your later stories.. Still, the intense dramatic plot and characters are already there.

Unfortunately the key plot device - the notion of trying to realize a fantacy, does not pass the test of basic credibility - not in the way you built the premise of the couple's relations around the issue of fantacies. What part of 'I don't wan't them to be realized' she could not get? Therefore, her narrative at the lawyers as if she somehow convinced herself that she was doing it for her husband, not realizing at the time that it was just "her pussy talking" simply does not addd up. He repeatedly told her -'these are fantasies - not something to enact in real life'.

The 'mistake' or 'confusion' lines do not pass as credible, and if consistency was a consideration, she would not have argued them to begin with, even if she wanted to lie...

this is the wrong site to post such a non erotic story

Okay, he said his piece and she said her piece. On to the finale...

even when one does something to hurt and harm. TK U MLJ LV NV

Well.. there's nothing new about sluts with crap excuses to indulge in their own pleasure. that's just what they are..crap. boneless wimps are not even worth shit to crap it.

you dont have daughters as loyal as a scorpion.

Hmmm - an asshat too

Fuck her and the horses she rode on -

Maybe she will now know the difference between cartoons and her daily life - one is NOT real - guess which it is??

Interesting job so far -

Let's see how Chapter 3 goes -

She has to fulfill HIS fantasy!

She should go out and bring one or two hot chicks for him to play with while she watches.

If she still wants him after that, he can take her back.

I know she wanted to "surprise", but for such an extreme fantasy you MIGHT want to check and make SURE this is really what he wants, because as we saw, this sure wasn't!

You called Roger the wrong name sometime you called him Ralph.

it did get way out of hand. her friend had a lot to do with that though. why do wives go to their girl friends before they go to their husbands? kind of makes a guy wonder why they get married to begin with.

or will the D.A.s politics enter into the courtroom fray. TK U MLJ LV NV

I don't get any of this? I went back and the author never said anything previously that would make her think he wanted to be cuckolded and watch? Kind of ruins the whole basis of the story. I'm just shakin my head going huh?

For me,if I walked in on my wife sucking and fucking two men.that would be The END! I just would not be able to get over what I saw,smelled,and felt at the time. It would stay with me forever and come to mind whenever I saw her.

Sharing something that is unique to marriage with someone else destroys its value,the love,and the bond.

Whatever her bullshit reasons,there is no coming back from that betrayal!

She cheated on him to ''purchase'' the present.

Case closed.

Do not believe any prosecutor would take case to trial!

Something called mens rea I recall

and DA are idiots.

Keep your characters straight. First his best friend was Roger. Then his best friend was Ralph. Then Ralph became the guy at the bar who hooked her up. And stop changing from first person to third person. It's very irritating.

She admitted she realized she was doing it for herself, then started contradicting herself! ...And he still loves her????? Now I'm sick!!!

It's understandable Dan would be upset it started without him. Of course he would assume rape. Mary's plan would have worked, if only she could have found the right two guys.

She did it for herself, not for Dan. Let.her go.live with June and.they can work from home.

People as stupid as Mary and June and sometimes they get what the deserve. Signed: BTW

"He kept telling me in his fantasies how all these men wanted to have me." - Yes, in his fantasies all these men wanted to have her; NOTHING was said about HIM wanting them to have her. SHE had a fantasy about having other men, which she conveniently never shared with him. "I thought Dan would really get turned on by watching me have sex with another guy since he did in the fantasy." First, she THOUGHT, she didn't KNOW. Second, once again, his fantasy was about other men WANTING her, not HAVING her.

Maybe it just wasn't mentioned in the narration, but I never saw anything about Dan having a fantasy about having a three-way; in any case, she said with HIM, not with two other guys, plus most guys fantasize about three-ways with two women, not another man.

"Dan's fantasy not realizing it was really mine." - The truth comes out!

Rape numerous times.

Shooting someone running away is a serious felony.

His absolute anger; did he not remember he had told her he had fantasies about her fucking other men? She did not verify with husband beforehand?

Yes, she invited them over for sex, but she wanted to wait for Dan, and told them that, and they forced her - that IS rape. Even a prostitute can be raped if the "client" tries to do more than was bargained for.

/

She's an idiot! THREE different times she could have told the Police that it wasn't consensual. Now, it's going to seem self-serving if she testifies to that.

Rape or not, she was playing out her whore fantasy, not his. Why keep a .22 for defense? A minimum .45 or .357. You don’t want your target to keep coming.

I just find it unbelievable that the police never questioned Mary sufficiently for her to say that she said to stop. Mary should have volunteered that, because it would have saved her husband. So, question is whether Mary was lying about asking them to stop, or everyone is really stupid.

Mary mind is quite a fucked up and she is an unreliable broad. The first chance she has, she will repeat her feast. An intelligent and loving wife and mother? She's laid her cards down. Who can or will believe her now?

BJ

Doesn’t matter what was happening. Matters what he reasonably thought was happening.

Although by the law it's wrong, Dan should rightly have beaten all 3 nearly to death. His wife was crying in front of the lawyer, but did everything she said. Nothing but a filthy slut, who breathes air a decent person could breathe...

So he wanted it in his fantasies but didn't really want it, and now is blaming her. Weak SOB!!!

Why did he ask the Wife multiple times, if she ever told the two lovers to stop? Typos and Grammer are one thing, but did you never read this completely before posting it?

And I seriously don't get the logic behind all this. Your MC just had to reverse the roles to make his wife realize how he may have had fantasies about seeing her with other men, but would never want to actually experience this. My question for this is: How in the hell did the Wife make the transition from "He wants to see me with someone else" to "He wants me to brutally cuckold him!"!? Why is your MC not simply asking THAT question? And don't tell me she didn't want to, it was the loverboys who did it against her will. We learned from the phone-call with June that they made it very clear this was what the Wife intended to do.

She’s just too stupid for words, and no, women don’t think with their pussies unless they’re mentally ill. If they did, all anyone would do is have sex, as I agree that all men think with their dick.

A person can have a fantasy but not act on it because its a fantasy. I want to marry Amy Adams but its a fantasy. I dont ever know Amy Adams again my fantasy i wish i did. Life is a compromise. We dont always get what we want. Sometimes we dont even get what we need but its up to use to compromise.

Better 4****