All Comments on 'Cum Vamp Pt. 01'

What a great idea-- I'm sure the concept of a "Creature of the night" who needs jizz like a vampire needs blood has been conceived before, but *I* sure can't remember reading such a story here. I liked it, though the set up seemed a bit rushed. (Although I've been there myself, wanting to "Write the good stuff" and rushing through the preamble a bit.

Needs a touch more editing, but it's enjoyable. Also consider a prequel , perhaps non-erotic, establishing the main character a bit. Maybe she's Pentecostal? How about an Amish girl, afflicted on Rumspringa? That would make her pre-and-post worlds about as dichotomous as possible!

Keep this character alive, wherever you take her!

I think the concept has real potential, and it very much reminds me of "The Female Vampire" movie.

But your writing was very distracting. Not that it wasn't technically correct, but just so inappropriate for a female point-of-view. With phrases like "my perky breasts," and "I'm damn hot," I can't get past the feeling that this is a horny teenage boy trying to write from the perspective of an oversexed girl. It just doesn't work to suspend my disbelief.

Like I said, you're a solid writer, you just need to hone the voice with more authenticity.

It kinda distracted me from the story. Along with what the others have said. were instead of we're. were is a past tense word not a form of we are. Bobby for a female? Think Bobbi would have been more appropriate. probably more but couldn't get through the first chapter due to the wording and spelling.

Turn me now turn me now!!! *lol* WONDERFUL story..whew..I couldn't stop reading! More please!

I have always enjoyed the idea of vampires a quite a bit, and I'm also rather fond both blowjobs and cum, so this is not an idea that has crossed my mind many times in many ways. I even almost set up an online RP group based around a similar topic at one point but I had never heard of seen anther's perspective on the idea.

Reading this was like seeing a personal fantasy take shape the further I got into the story. Thank you for sharing this, I cant wait to read the rest or the series, and you know can turn me anytime. *grins* :)

I really like this story, its very creative and so hot! The only thing is, they all have really modern names, but are supposed to be over 150 years old? Those names just weren't around then, particularly the girl's. Otherwise, its one of the best stories I have read, keep writing!