D Cup Blues Again

"Oh my God..." Audrey said.

"I'm sorry," Dave said.

"Are you really?" Caryn asked.

"I think we'd understand if you weren't," Maureen said.

"I don't know," Dave admitted. "It's the right thing to say, isn't it?"

"Of course," Audrey said. "But we all know how he treated you, Dave."

"Yeah," Dave admitted. "I don't know how I feel. I don't want to be happy about it, I know that much. But he was such a psycho, you know? I do feel bad for his family."

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" came a perky voice they all knew entirely too well, and they looked up to see Kelly Oswald, who had defeated Tom for the student council presidency in the recent election.

"Kelly!" Tom said, Dave and the girls looking on in awkward silence. "Let me guess, you've changed your mind about being president?"

They all laughed, welcoming the spite from both the tension and the unpleasant news.

Kelly laughed, too. "Sorry, no. But listen, I've been thinking about your anti-bullying proposals, and I'd really like to give something like that a try."

"Yeah, you said after the election," Tom recalled.

"Right! I've been thinking a lot about it, and since I'd be basically taking over your idea anyway, I've asked Principal Kendall about starting a special committee for it, and putting you in charge. She said yes! Are you interested?"

"Wow," Tom said. "But I don't know..."

"Tom, do it!" Valerie said. "It was a great idea!"

"Yeah, it was, and it got you to the runoff," Maureen agreed.

"Well, I did lose," Tom said. "But I guess a lot of people did like what they heard."

"Including me, Tom," Kelly said. "Please?"

They all looked on as Tom gave it a bit more thought. At last he said, "Oh, okay, I'll do it."

As Tom and Kelly shook hands, Dave and the girls cheered and applauded. This caught the attention of a cheerleader named Melissa -- a friend of Kelly's and a long-ago nemesis of the girls from elementary school -- who was on her way past their table. "What's up, Kel?" she asked.

"Tom is joining my team!" Kelly said. "We're starting an anti-bullying committee."

"Good move picking a nerd for that," Melissa said.

"Get lost!" Audrey snapped. "Who asked you?"

"Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing!" Melissa said. "Say, Maureen, is it true you're going out with Scott Bransky? You hear about what happened to his friend -- Bret, I think it was?"

"Brad," Maureen corrected, "And yes, of course I heard."

"Brad from Northside?" Kelly said. "I remember him. Wasn't he like, really messed up or something?"

"He killed himself Saturday night," Dave said.

"Oh my God!" Kelly exclaimed. "Is that who you were talking about?"

"He jumped off the balcony at his apartment house," Melissa said. "No one's sure why yet."

"Wow," Kelly sighed. "Well, Tom, I guess that's a good example of the damage bullying can do, huh?"

"Brad was a bully," Dave said.

"David, that's a terrible thing to say!" Melissa gasped.

"I didn't say I'm glad he's dead, did I?" Dave snapped. "Come on!"

"I know what I heard!" Melissa sing-songed, and on that note she tossed her hair back behind her ear and sauntered off.

"Sorry about her," Kelly said, standing up. "Anyway, Tom, I'll be in touch about next steps?"

"That'll be fine, Kelly," Tom said. "Thanks."

Once they were on their own again, the topic of conversation turned to congratulations for Tom and speculation on Francine's wedding dress. There was no further talk of Brad, and although Dave endured a clutch of flashbacks to Northside, he kept that to himself until he and Caryn were saying goodbye at the cafeteria door. "I wish I felt worse than I do, you know?" he said.

"I know what you mean," Caryn said, hugging him. "Nobody faults you for that, Dave."

She was immediately proven wrong about that, for a couple of mouthy jocks Dave didn't even know walked by at that moment. "You're glad he's dead, Dave?" one of them sneered.

"Class act, there, buddy," the other one added. "What if he was your friend?"

"Get lost!" Caryn snapped, and they did.

"You've still got it, huh?" Dave said, forcing a smile. "Even with those."

"God, I can't wait until I can start over somewhere I'm not that girl that broke a kid's balls once," Caryn said, shaking her head as the two losers retreated. "But It does come in handy. Never mind those guys, huh?"

"Just what did Melissa tell them?" Dave mused.

"Who cares?" Caryn said. "Everyone knows what a ditz she is."

But Dave had a feeling he was in for a lot of rude comments -- almost like his former tormentor getting one last chance to make his life miserable -- and, regrettably, he was right. Throughout the three remaining classes of the day, there were whispers and dirty looks and more than a few brave souls actually questioning him about it. By the time he arrived in the newspaper office for last period, he was ready to blow a gasket at the next person who asked.

Unless it was Maureen, which, fortunately, it was. "I heard," she said as soon as he'd walked in the room. "And I already told all the others you didn't say it."

Dave looked warily at the rest of the staff, and was relieved not to see a single evil eye among them. "I'm sorry that happened to you, Dave," Lucy Lincoln said.

"Everyone who went to Northside would understand anyway," Meredith added. "Not that I think you did it, I'm just saying if you had, but I know you didn't."

"Nothing like a juicy lie, huh?" Dave said.

To his great relief, attention then turned to working on next week's paper, with a lead story on the prospect of refurbished locker rooms in the fall. Dave, who hadn't been to the locker rooms since he'd completed his gym class requirements sophomore year, welcomed the mindless task of pulling together the different reports of the new plans to combine into one. He was immersed deeply enough in his work that he didn't look up when the classroom door opened. Only when everyone else went silent did he look up.

There, in the doorway, stood Principal Kendall. "David," she said.

Startled, he looked up. "Uh, hi, Ms. Kendall."

"I understand you're considering a story about Brad Preston, the boy who committed suicide this weekend."

"I am?" Dave cringed at his own words and had to weather the round of nervous laughter from the others -- although he did note that Maureen kept quiet. "I mean, if you want us to, we could, but no I wasn't planning to. He didn't go to this school, you know."

"Then you're not planning on a gloating editorial with a 'Good Riddance' headline?" Principal Kendall asked.

"No! Of course not!"

"Oh, good," she said. "That would be completely inappropriate, you know. Even if you didn't like the young man, there are students here who were friends with him."

"I know!"

"Do you, David? I'm hearing some not very nice things in the hallway."

"They're not true! Besides, have you heard of the way he treated me back at Northside?"

"He's right, Ms. Kendall," Maureen piped up.

"Quiet!" Ms. Kendall snapped. "David, it's wrong to speak ill of the dead. Understood?"

"Of course I understand!"

"I should hope so." She turned on her heel and was gone.

Dave threw himself back into his work, but he was hurt. When the bell rang and the rest of the class were late for the door, Dave didn't get up. He cast a quick look at Mrs. Cutchins and, seeing no sign that she objected to his remaining, he turned back to his editing.

Maureen, on her way out the door, noticed Dave wasn't going anywhere. Though she felt a touch of schadenfreude, she reminded herself he'd been a loyal friend for five years, even if he'd also been clueless about her, and she went over and pulled up a chair beside him. "You okay, Dave?" she asked.

Seeing the coast was clear, Dave set his pen down and stopped holding back the tears he'd been fighting off. "Yeah, I know, I'm still the crybaby I always was," he murmured.

"I didn't say that!" Maureen protested. "And I know you're not." She put a hand on his back, kicking herself for sounding so harsh -- she was not feeling great today, but that wasn't Dave's fault, she reminded herself.

"Why does she always do that to me?!" Dave snapped. "I'm a good kid, and every time something crummy happens to me, there she is to blame it on me. It happened when Rick attacked me, too. 'It takes two to fight!' he mimicked."

"She's always been that way, David," said Mrs. Cutchins, and Dave and Maureen both turned to look at her. "She holds the smartest kids to a higher standard because she thinks it helps them aim even higher. I agree with you that it's not fair, but take it as a backhanded compliment if you can." Then she smiled. "And be glad you're off to greener pastures. Vassar! I envy you!"

"That's a good way of looking at it," Dave said, and at last he stood up to leave. "Thanks, Mrs. Cutchins. You too, Maureen, thanks for thinking of me."

"I hope you're not surprised!" Maureen said.

"Oh, of course not!" Dave said. "I mean..."

"I think I know what you mean," Maureen said, catching herself again -- just what was wrong with her today? Checking her watch, she added, "Looks like I've got to wait for the late bus."

"Want to come study at my place?" Dave asked.

"Would Caryn be okay with that?" Maureen couldn't resist.

"This isn't Northside, is it? We trust each other and our friends!"

Maureen laughed and nodded her agreement, and did agree to go home with Dave. Given her lousy mood, she wasn't sure it was a good idea, but maybe she just needed some quality time with an old friend as well.

She soon thought she might regret it, for he began waxing all nostalgic even before they were off school grounds. "Remember the first time you came over to study?" he asked. "Eighth grade, and we had the group project on Sacco and Vanzetti for history class?"

"Yeah, barely," Maureen lied. She recalled exactly what a thrill it had been joining him at home, seeing his bedroom and perusing his bookshelf for mutual favorites and finding several, being invited to stay for dinner and marveling at his father's ability to cook -- her own dad could barely boil water -- and eagerly reporting everything back to the girls over lunch the next day while Dave had been at the snack bar. She also recalled bitterly that Caryn hadn't looked the least bit impressed at it all, though she couldn't be sure now that part of the memory was real. "We got a C on that stupid project after all that work, didn't we?"

"Thank you, Tony," Dave agreed. Tony Parmenture, the third member of their group, hadn't shown up that afternoon, and had made up for it by volunteering to give the presentation. "It was like he could barely read, remember that?" Dave said now.

"I know!" Maureen agreed. "I remember standing there trying to look polite and pointing at all the pictures on the visual aid as he got to them, and thinking he sounded like a third grader! And then the comments from the class?"

"'I didn't really understand,'" Dave mimicked. "Heck, I barely understood, and we wrote it!"

"I always did hate group projects," Maureen said.

"Me too," Dave said. "Say, how did you like high school in general?"

"Worst four years of my life," Maureen said. "Everyone has the same personality! You and the girls and aiming for NYU were all that got me through it." Surprised at his silence in reply, she looked over at him. "Don't you agree?"

"It's how I thought I'd feel after Northside," Dave said. "But...well, I'm thinking of something Valerie said at lunch the other day."

"You're listening to her opinion about school?!" Maureen couldn't help herself.

"Come on, that's mean," Dave said. "She's improved a lot, and she is thinking about transferring to State next year."

"Okay, that's true," Maureen said. "Good for her."

"Anyway, she said she's sad about school ending now that she's doing better, and it got me thinking. Northside was such a nightmare..."

"Junior high is nightmare for everyone, Dave."

"I know! That's just it, I came here expecting the worst, and I mean...it hasn't been that bad, has it? With the five of us and the newspapers and you've got the choir and all that -- it's actually been kind of fun. It's felt kind of like we were the smart kids with the bit part in a teen movie, you know?"

"Speak for yourself, Dave." Maureen couldn't recall a time she hadn't felt underappreciated in class.

"Point taken." And he dropped the subject in favor of homework. "Want to attack calculus first? That's what I always like to get out of the way. Everything else is a snap compared to it."

"I'm still not afraid of math," she replied with a defiant flair. "But that's a good thing to work together on."

When they got home, Dave headed straight for the kitchen table and got his calculus book out of his backpack. "Want something to eat?" he said. "Caryn and I baked cookies last week and I think we have a few left."

"I'm not feeling very well," Maureen said, passing over in silence that the mention of Caryn didn't help a bit. "Could we have some tea maybe, though?"

"I'll put the kettle on," Dave said.

"Great. I just have to go to the bathroom first." Maureen knew where the bathroom was, and Dave paid no mind as she was off down the hall.

As he looked through the cupboard for the tea, he replayed that last comment in his mind and hated himself for it. She didn't want to be reminded about Caryn! But then, if there were any hard feelings, would she even be here? And hadn't he done his bit by forgiving Scott?

Scott. How was he doing? What would he think of the rumor -- which would undoubtedly reach his ears -- so soon after they'd finally made up? Would he understand? He should; he knew better than anyone what a little monster Brad had always been to him, and he knew why. But then, Dave reflected, did he even care? It wasn't like they were truly friends again or anything. Still, Dave was furious about the whole thing -- it was like Brad got him good one last time.

Maureen, for her part, had discovered in the bathroom why she was in a lousy mood. Just as Dave was setting out the mugs with the teabags in them and getting his conscience under control, she stepped back into the kitchen. "Dave, there's a convenience shop up the street, isn't there?"

"Yeah, but whatever you need, I'm sure we've got it here," Dave said. "Dad hates that place because of the prices, you know."

"I don't think you do," Maureen said, absentmindedly crossing her legs as she stood in the doorway. She groped for some clue Dave or Caryn might have tossed off about how old Francine was, but she couldn't think of anything.

"Oh, that!" Dave couldn't help a nervous grin, and Maureen braced for the inevitable sexist comment -- probably "So that's why you've been so crabby!", which was Scott's favorite when she'd made the mistake of being open with him. But, to her pleasant surprise, he didn't say any such thing. Instead, he went to the recycling bin next to the garbage can and pulled out a clutch of junk mail. "We happened to get a free sample last week in the mail -- someone didn't bother to check and see it was an all-male household, you know?" He flipped through the discarded flyers and circulars, and triumphantly pulled out a pink envelope. He opened it and pulled out a clear plastic sleeve with a pad inside. "Will this do?" He handed it to her.

Maureen exhaled and took it. "This is so embarrassing," she said.

"It's not like I didn't know you have periods, just because we don't talk about it," Dave said. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"You're right." Maureen couldn't even look at him as she said it. "You're right," she repeated as she returned to the bathroom. Of course he wouldn't react the way Scott did, she reflected. I just hope Caryn knows how lucky she really is!

Dave had the decency not to mention it again for the two hours they spent on their calculus homework. Maureen was rescued from any further embarrassment when Dave's father arrived home with Francine in tow, although she was prevailed upon to stay for dinner. The warm welcome was bittersweet for her, as was everything about Dave these days, but she couldn't very well quarrel with how happy they both were to see her. "I hope Dave told you I want you all to be my bridesmaids," Francine said.

"Of course I did," Dave said.

"He did, and I'm really flattered," Maureen said. "But, Francine, Lee, are you sure? It's your day, not Dave's or his friends."

"Don't be silly, Maureen," Lee said. "It's because of his friends that Dave's still here, you know!"

"Dad!" Dave looked like he wanted to vanish.

"Oh, heavens, you never told them?" Lee said.

"Well, I told Caryn," Dave said. "I'm sorry, Maureen, I should've told you all..."

Maureen had no idea what to say. She turned to Francine, who was also looking nonplussed.

Francine saved the moment. "Either way, Maureen, you can see why we want you girls with us. No hard feelings if you don't want to participate, but please don't think you're anything but welcome."

"Of course!" Maureen said a little too enthusiastically. "Yes, I'd love to." Another question -- "Can I invite Scott?" -- hung in the air. But she couldn't get the words out, not after what had happened over the weekend and certainly not after what Dave's father had just revealed. "Thanks, both of you!" It was the best she could do.

Fortunately, it seemed to be enough. Lee asked Maureen about her plans for college, and his unpleasant revelation was allowed to lie quietly as she told him and Francine all about her plans for NYU and her dreams of making a life for herself in Manhattan once she was through there. After dinner was over, Francine offered to drive her home and she was spared any further awkwardness about either of the afternoon's embarrassments.

As soon as Francine and Maureen were out the door, Dave jumped up to tend to the dishes without another word. "I can wash those, David," his father said. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to," Dave said. "We spent all afternoon on math and I need a break before the rest of my homework." He didn't look at Lee as he said it.

"If you want, David," Lee said. Then, stepping up alongside him at the sink, he said, "Look, I'm sorry. I never imagined you hadn't told the girls."

"I meant to!" Dave snapped. "But there was never a good time! How do you tell someone she saved your life anyway? They'd say I was being melodramatic!"

Lee knew the girls well enough not to argue. "Yeah, they probably would. But it's true, isn't it? Wouldn't you want to know if you were in their shoes?"

"I guess," Dave said. "That's why I wanted to tell them! But...it's just not that simple, okay?"

"Okay." Lee stood aside and watched is son scrub the plates fiercely even after each one was clean. "How did Caryn react?"

"She cried. The only time I've ever seen her cry. And she said she wished I'd told them all before." Then he cracked a smile for the first time. "And she said she wanted to beat the crap out of Scott."

Lee chuckled. "I knew I liked that girl for a reason. Whatever happened to Scott, anyway?"

"Maureen's going out with him."

"What?!"

"She asked him out to get back at me because she was jealous of Caryn," Dave said. "I never knew she had a crush on me, honest!"

"You're the only one who didn't, David," Lee said. "I've seen the way she's looked at you every time you had her over here. But you didn't owe her anything you didn't feel, you understand that, don't you?"

"Of course," Dave said. "I just wish I'd known, all the same."

"Does she like Scott, really?"

"I doubt it. But it's none of my business." Dave felt the news about Brad on the tip of his tongue, but he kept that to himself. He didn't need even his own father telling him he'd been out of line.