D Cup Blues Again

"I agree," Lee said. "Just try to be there for her when he hurts her like he hurt you, okay? I think we both know he will."

"Will do, Dad. Thanks." He dried his hands off on the dish towel, looked up at his father, and burst into tears. Lee hugged him without another word until he was done crying.

Valerie had imagined all sorts of annoyances to prepare herself for when it came to working at Sally's. But she hadn't counted on the most common one. "Thanks, Sally," said the two girls who looked vaguely familiar -- Valerie thought they were freshmen at school -- when she gave them their change.

"Actually, it's..." Valerie began. But the two of them were already lost in their girlish giggles as they stepped out into the spring afternoon, leaving Valerie to finger her name tag like a weapon.

"At least this pair gave a decent tip," Dave pointed out from the table nearest the counter, where he and Scott and the girls were holding court. Valerie saw he was right, almost twenty percent, and she was pleased once again with how quickly she'd learned to calculate such things. She had, of course, had plenty of practice already.

"And maybe they really didn't know," Audrey offered. "Weren't you saying a lot of people you know call you Sally?"

"Yeah, and they always think they're the first one ever to think of it, too," Valerie grumbled as she tucked the two dollars into her belt and gathered up the girls' dishes. "One of these days I'm gonna burst out laughing and say 'Aw, you know, no one's ever thought of that one!'"

"Is Sally even a real person?" Maureen asked once Valerie was off to the kitchen.

"My mom used to come here when she was in high school and the manager then was a man," Audrey said.

"You think maybe she doesn't want us here?" Dave asked.

"She'd say if she didn't," Caryn said. "Oh, that reminds me! I've got an announcement to make when she gets back here."

"You already know what it is, I'll bet!" Audrey said, chucking Dave on the arm. Dave smiled but said nothing.

"Come on, Dave when's the wedding?" Scott teased.

"Hey!" Maureen pulled back from him. "Not funny, Scott."

"Eh, he's said worse to me," Dave said, grinning at Scott.

"Sorry, Dave." But Scott didn't return the grin. He checked his watch and stood up. "I've got to go pick my sister up at dance class." He dropped his share of the bill on the table and kissed Maureen on the cheek. "Please tell me what the big news is when you find out, all right?"

There was a halfhearted round of farewells, Maureen's being the only one that rang true. As soon as he was gone, Audrey said, "Why on earth are you still with him? Are you a glutton for punishment or what?"

"It beats being alone," Maureen said. "And I don't want him to always remember me for dumping him right before prom."

"You think anyone past their freshman year in college ever thinks of the prom?" Dave asked, earning a dirty look from Caryn and a laugh from Maureen and Audrey.

"Yeah, I don't know," Maureen said. "But, look, once you get used to the geekiness, he's kind of fun. Besides...you know, Brad. I don't want to make a bad time worse."

"You did tell him you didn't really say that stuff about Brad, didn't you?" Audrey asked Dave.

"The first day he was back. He came into the bathroom while I was there, and I said -- both of us staring at the wall, of course -- 'I didn't say it,' and he said 'I believe you.' I'm not sure if he really does, but that's what he said."

"And I'm sorry, Maureen, but I don't care if he believes it or not," Caryn said.

"He does!" Maureen insisted. "We've talked about it, quite a bit, and he does. He just -- I think he just doesn't believe you're not somehow happy about it, Dave."

"Have you talked about what it'd be like if the shoe were on the other foot?" Caryn asked. "What if it were Dave --" Her voice broke off. "Oh, fuck, Dave, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, the others know now too," Dave said with a wry grin.

"Know what?" Audrey asked.

Dave turned to Maureen. "You didn't tell her? Or Valerie?"

"Oh my God, I would never do that!" Maureen said. "Not even with them!"

"Well, thanks," Dave said, and he even gave Maureen a quick hug to apologize. "I guess I should've known better."

"What didn't you tell us?" Audrey asked. "Come on, if both of you know..."

"It's not my secret to share," Maureen said.

"No, she's right, and it's okay," Dave said. "But maybe I should wait until Valerie's here, too."

Valerie had, at that moment, just finished putting an order in. On hearing her name, she brought her dishrag by the next table to look busy. "What's up?" she asked.

"Caryn has good news and Dave has a big secret," Audrey explained. "Who wants to go first?"

"I think my secret ought to wait for someplace more private," Dave said. "When are you off, Valerie?"

"I have a break at four-thirty," Valerie said. "Is the parking lot private enough?"

"Yeah, probably," Dave said. Then he turned to Caryn and squeezed her hand. "Well?"

"Val, I'm taking classes at the community college this summer!" Caryn announced. "We'll be classmates maybe."

"Oh, that's great!" Valerie said. "But why? You're off to California anyway, why not enjoy the summer?"

"I got rejected by Berkeley," Caryn revealed.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Audrey said.

"Me too," Maureen added.

"It's fine," Caryn said. "I always knew it was a longshot. But I'm hoping I can transfer there next year, and I need to have really good grades for that. So I'm taking calculus and chemistry over the summer, and then taking them again at Davis in the fall when it's still fresh in my mind."

"A woman with a plan, huh?" Dave said, and the others nodded their agreement.

"Yeah, good for you," Audrey said. "But I'm sorry you won't get to goof off with us for your last summer."

"Goof off with whom?" Maureen asked. "I'll be volunteering at the animal shelter."

"And I'm signing up with a temp agency," said Dave, who could type seventy words a minute.

"And I'll be here and in class," Valerie said.

"Ah, you guys are no fun!" But Audrey looked a bit disappointed.

"It's not too late to find a job," Maureen pointed out.

"I know, but I imagined the five of us hanging out here or at the lake, going to movies..."

"We still can," Dave said. "Just not all the time."

"I guess," Audrey said.

The conversation then turned to showering Audrey with suggestions of what she could do for the summer, which she mostly kept her mouth shut and listened to despite her annoyance at the whole thing. By the time Valerie went on break, Dave's secret had nearly been forgotten...but not by Audrey, who stood up with a relieved grin. "Thank God you're here!" she said. "You let it slip that you don't have a summer job yet and suddenly everyone won't shut up about what to do!"

"Can't wait to hear your big secret, Dave," Valerie said. Then, with a nervous look over her shoulder, she added, "But I need you all to pay your check before we go outside, unless you want two friends looking for a summer job."

They all paid up without complaint, and Valerie collected her tip and left the rest on the table for her replacement to pick up. Then it was out past the pinball machines and the bathrooms to the back door and the parking lot. They gathered around the back of Audrey's mother's old sedan, in which they'd driven over from school. "So what's the deep, dark secret, Dave?" Valerie asked.

"It goes without saying you know about it!" Audrey needled Caryn.

"You'll see why I didn't tell anyone," Caryn said.

"She's right, you will," Dave reassured them. "So, here's the story." One last look at Sally's back door to make sure they were alone, and he plowed forward. "Back at Northside," he began, "Just before you invited me to sit with you -- I'm sure you remember Brad telling anyone who would listen how I didn't have any friends. And thanks to him, he was right. The little monster really did do a great job of pushing Scott away from me, and all our mutual friends too. So, you know, week after week of his mouthing off and me having to sit there alone in the cafeteria for everyone to see...I...I tried to kill myself."

"Oh, Dave!" Audrey threw herself at him, all the while privately castigating herself for the things she'd thought about him before they became friends. "I'm so sorry!"

"Me too," Valerie said. "Thank God you failed!"

Dave chuckled. "Yeah, exactly. Thanks. My dad had trouble sleeping after Mom ran off, so he had a package of sleeping pills. I swallowed a whole package of them, and then washed it down with as much of Dad's whiskey as I could stand. It made me throw up, and that's what saved my life. That was about a week before you invited me to sit with you."

"I remember you disappeared from the table for a few days," Audrey said. "We were wondering if you'd gone to a new school or something."

"I was in Middleview," Dave said; they all knew the state mental hospital was there, no need for him to elaborate. "Anyway, I just -- I mean, Dad told Maureen by accident when she was over my place to study, and he was surprised I hadn't told all four of you. That got me thinking I should tell you all, and thank you."

"Thank us for what?" Valerie asked. "All we did was invite you to have lunch with us, and that was after...it happened."

"That was just what I needed," Dave said. "Dad's always said, practically from the day we became friends, it made all the difference in the world. I liked school again for the first time since who knows when, and I actually looked happy when I got home, and it was all thanks to you."

"Don't sing it!" Valerie warned.

"I say let's all sing it!" Caryn contradicted. "One, two, three..."

"Must be you that builds me confidently!" they all sang out in ragged harmony, including Valerie.

"And you do," Dave said. "So, you know, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sorry if that sounds mushy."

"We love you mushy, Dave," Audrey said.

A familiar voice ripped through the intimate goodwill. "McCotter!"

"Oh, fuck," Caryn muttered under her breath.

They all turned to see Rick Murphy ambling towards them. "You ladies get lost," he said in a flat tone. "I've got some unfinished business with your sissy boyfriend here."

"Get lost, Rick!" Valerie snapped. "You know you're eighty-sixed from Sally's!"

"I'm not in Sally's, am I?" He stopped just outside the sunken curb that marked Sally's parking lot. "McCotter, you gonna be a man for once or what?"

Dave walked towards him but stopped about five feet short of him. "I'm not afraid of you, but I'm not gonna fight," he said. "What would that prove?"

"Yeah, aren't you supposed to be in court anyway?" Audrey asked. Behind him Dave heard Sally's back door opening, but he didn't dare take his eyes off Rick to see who was coming or going.

"End of May," Rick said. "That's why I want to settle this now. You got me kicked out of school and maybe going to jail, and I'm gonna take it out of you one way or another. Now get over here so they don't also get me for trespassing."

Caryn stepped up beside Dave and Audrey. "Rick, go home!" she said. "Don't you know how much worse it'll be for you in court if you beat him up again?"

"Worse, but worth it!" Rick snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at Caryn. "The two of you, you got me arrested and expelled, don't you get that?"

"You attacked us, remember?!" Caryn reminded him. "And that's not all you tried to do to me. Homecoming?!"

"So now foreplay is rape, is it?" Rick chuckled. "She let you touch her anywhere at all, Dave?"

"Let's go inside," Dave said, and he and Audrey turned to go. He now saw it was Valerie and Maureen who'd gone back in.

"No," Caryn said. "He'll just be waiting for us later."

"Waiting for him later," Rick grunted.

"Whatever. Either way, Rick, I'm telling you now, get lost!" Caryn swallowed her fear and reminded herself of how all the boys in school -- including Dave -- had always been terrified of her. Please, she thought, let it happen this one last time! She stepped up to him, over the curb, a look of absolute resolution on her face that hid her real feelings well.

But Caryn had long suspected her ex wouldn't let "I don't hit girls" hold him back forever, and in that moment her suspicions were proven right. "Get out of my face, bitch!" Rick snapped, and he grabbed Caryn by the shoulders and gave her a shove out into the alley.

Caryn didn't quite lose her balance, but she stumbled into the path of a car that was trying to enter Sally's parking lot. She was equal parts aware of Dave yelling "No!" and the car bumping her off her balance at last in the endless few seconds that followed. The last thing she remembered was the screeching of the car's brakes, a split-second too late.

Valerie, who for the moment was blissfully unaware of exactly what had happened, had had the presence of mind to call 911 from the back office. So a police car arrived within a minute of Caryn getting knocked down, and the officers radioed for an ambulance when they saw what had happened. Maureen repeated all this to her a few minutes later. "She's awake, but they're taking her to the hospital," she explained. "We're going to drive over there now. I'll call or text you when we know something."

"What about Rick?" Valerie asked.

"He got away. He ran as soon as Caryn got hit and he was long gone when the cops got here. But they'll find him."

"I sure hope so." Valerie checked her watch. "I have to clock back in. Get over there!"

"I wish you could come," Maureen said as she turned for the back door.

"Me too." Valerie avoided the curious eye of the night manager, Joe, who had just clocked in.

"That girl in the parking lot a friend of yours?" As usual, Joe spoke so fast she could barely make out the words.

"One of my best friends," Valerie said, bracing for another snippy or clueless remark from Joe.

To her surprise, there wasn't one. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'd let you go to the hospital but there's no time for a replacement."

"Thanks." Valerie hoped her appreciative look at him hid her surprise.

She had already learned about the calm before the five o'clock storm: all but the last stragglers among the after-school crowd cleared out in time to be home for dinner, while the older regulars weren't quite finished with work yet. Half an hour later the place would be swamped, but for the moment it was nearly empty and Valerie was free to clean the tables and sweep the floor. She'd always kept a stiff upper lip about the second-worst aspect of her job (after cleaning the bathrooms), but today she brought an almost comical vigor to it. With each brisk sweep, she imagined the broom was a baseball bat and the floor was Rick.

And she told herself she was glad she didn't have to wait around at the hospital with the others. What good would that do for Caryn? Surely they were all fighting right now anyway, Dave crying and Audrey telling him to grow up and Maureen trying to cool it between them and neither one listening to her -- what good would it do anyone for her to be there too? Caryn would certainly understand why she wasn't.

Caryn who would be her classmate this summer at community college! Valerie wasn't sure how she felt about that. After all, Caryn was the slacker done good, the one who'd woken up in time to make decent grades and get a ticket out of their hometown -- all the way to California! -- right away. Why did she have to aim even higher before she'd even gotten there? Wasn't Davis a great school in its own right? Valerie knew she certainly couldn't have gotten in.

Maybe, she mused as she set the first dozen burgers on the grill and imagined each one was Rick's hand pressed under her flipper, Audrey was right. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if she'd at least tried for State. If she hadn't gotten in, wouldn't that just have made it all the sweeter next year when she did get in as a transfer? As she certainly would, one way or another. Valerie wasn't willing to consider any other possibility right now, and it all began with making decent grades for a change at the community college. But she didn't want Caryn hanging over her shoulder for that! She didn't want a constant reminder of what she could have done too if she'd woken up in time like Caryn had. Why hadn't she followed Maureen and Dave's example too?

It didn't matter now, she reminded herself as she flipped the burgers. And maybe studying would be fun. Why not enjoy one last summer together and actually spend it doing something grown-up for a change?

Because she needed a fresh start, Valerie answered herself. And she wasn't about to get it with any reminder of the bad old days hanging over her head. But it wouldn't do any good to tell Caryn any of that. Maybe, she mused, she could even learn something from her friend's newly improved study habits.

With that settled, Valerie longed to be at the hospital with the others after all. She welcomed the spattering of the burgers on the grill in case she cried. But she managed not to.

Valerie was wrong about what was going on in the ER waiting room. Maureen, Audrey and Dave all sat quietly, staring at the swinging doors and waiting for news. There still wasn't any yet when Caryn's mother came rushing in. "David? Girls? What happened?"

"It was Rick, Mrs. Martinsen." Dave lost every ounce of resolve once the words were out, and he started crying.

"We tried to get her to go back inside with us!" Audrey snapped.

"They don't think any bones were broken, but that's all they'd tell us," Maureen added.

"We're sorry, Mrs. Martinsen!" Now Audrey was in tears as well, the first time Dave had ever seen her cry.

"It's not your fault!" Mrs. Martinsen said, passing over in silence her oft-repeated invitation to all Caryn's friends to call her Claire. She hugged Dave long and hard, and said, "Thank you for being here for her!" Though she also hugged each of the girls in turn, Maureen couldn't help but notice her embrace was far more fleeting with them. "I've known for years, Caryn won't get away with expecting boys not to hit her back forever. And she's not supposed to go anywhere near that bastard."

"She didn't," Dave said. "He came to Sally's, and he wasn't supposed to be there either."

"It wasn't her fault," Audrey agreed. "Please don't be mad at her, she was just trying to stop anyone from getting hurt!"

"I knew that'd get her in trouble one day," Claire said. She sat down and buried her face in her hands.

A few more minutes' deathly silence passed before a doctor appeared in the swinging doors. "Caryn Martinsen?" she asked, scanning the room.

"I'm her mother," Claire said, jumping up.

"I'm Doctor Clara Luksik," she said, shaking hands with Claire while Dave and the girls looked on with bated breath. "Caryn should be fine. Nothing worse than some bad bruising. But we do want to keep her overnight for observation. She hit her head pretty hard."

"Oh, thank God!" Dave jumped up and hugged Claire again.

"Can we see her?" Audrey asked.

"Family only, I'm afraid," Doctor Luksik said.

"We understand," Dave said.

"Speak for yourself," Maureen grumbled.

"I'll tell her you were all here for her," Claire said. "Now you'd best get home before all your parents start worrying too. Oh, that reminds me, David, please tell your father I said congratulations."

"I will, Mrs...Claire. Thanks."

Maureen held her tongue until they were outside. "Family only, when she isn't even seriously hurt? What the hell?"

"Yeah, we're all like family anyway, aren't we?" Audrey concurred.

"Rules are rules," Dave said. "I'm just glad she's okay."

"Mister diplomacy," Maureen grumbled, helping herself to the front seat of Audrey's car.