All Comments on 'Dad's The Man Ch. 01'

Seriously, well written, good stuff.

How... one to the sex? *L*

good, I like it. diverse enough, but try not to let the story stall.

Keep going.

This first part is well written, with some great characterisation and dialogue. I found the pace a little slow and began to get impatient for something to happen. I think the sex scene when it comes is going to have to be amazing if you don't want to disappoint readers.

One small criticism: As a general rule the term Daddy/Mummy is used by young children. It becomes Dad/Mum when they grow older. I didn't buy that an 18yr old would call her father 'Daddy' Its use pre-empts the sexual relationship to come. I think it would be more effective if you go with 'Dad' prior to the incest scene - then 'Daddy' during it. - Just a thought.

Good luck with Pt 2

Ignore some of the other comments, (not even sure what the first one means).

Don't rush the next chapters - take as much time as you need to make sure it's all perfect.

xx

please

Could not stop reading, wonderfully written, Thanks

but far too many commas

made it, hard, to read,,,,,,,,,,

This author can really make anything interesting.

Couldn't stop reading.

And I read the whole thing in one go.

Awesome story

ok now I'm like, wondering whats going to happen! lol

This story is excellent! An actual story in here, hehe! Don't know how everything will play out later but its kind of nice to have some brain filler content to go with the gratuitous sex ;)

...anyway looking forward to the next chapter read tomorrow!

But I'm not too sure about the diary entries blending with the dialogue. It seems as though everything's supposed to be read as "diary entries" but, she'd be summarising events rather than writing dialogue "verbatim". I think you could've shortened the diary entries and indented them to differentiate from the natural story, just to keep them as inner monologue and summarisation of events and then lead into events as they're described.

Despite the fact there has been no incest or any sex at this point, It is very, very good! While reading this, i got the feeling that the author was actually telling about someone she knows (I believe the author to be female). The story line actually comes across as a bit sad when Kathleen referred to herself as a "nerd girl/loser/slut" but at the same time, it also comes across as very sweet and genuine. And Gina referred to her as shy and as a Tomboy but not in a hurtful way at all. I don't know where this story is going, but I will find out. Good is good so 5*. d

The signs of a remarkable and brilliant story in the making

As an avid reader of mutually consensual icestuous love stories, I appreciate an author who takes the time and makes an effort to develop his characters in both depth and breadth. Likewise, I like a plot and subplots that are logically developed. Finally, I like to see how the minor characters interact with the major characters. As for the eventual sex, that is simply icing on a very good cake. Having just finished reading "My Other Mother" (written by this author), some of my questions have been answered. I rated this chapter 4 stars because I am trying to remember Kathleen actions as a major character in "My Other Mother".