Damn Dress: A Love Story Ch. 08

"Yeah, thank you. I, um...nevermind. I'm glad you and the baby are doing well. I'll sleep better tonight knowing that."

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later," she said, feeling tears stinging her eyes.

"Okay. Goodnight," he said.

She never heard the phone click on his side, so she decided to hang up first. She sat there for a moment thinking back over her life thus far. She never imagined it would bring her here. She wasn't even sure where 'here' was.

********************

As soon as Sienna started school, the weeks flew by. It was now mid October, and she was already worn out. But she welcomed the challenge. So far her classes were pretty easy, just a lot of tedious homework and mindless group assignments. Her morning sickness had stopped weeks ago, but she had already gained close to 5 pounds. You can't win for losing with pregnancy Sienna thought to herself.

But all of that was the least of her worries. Even though she had talked to him a handful of times on the phone, she hadn't physically been in the same room as Brandon since that night she passed out at his house. Almost two months ago. 7 weeks to be exact. She was counting. Seemed like she lived by weeks because of being pregnant. And she knew that the lengthy time apart was more her fault than his. Since she never really had anything to say to him on the phone outside of 'I'm fine' and 'the baby's fine', he had stopped calling as much as he used to. And she mourned that. But now, only the occasional call from her after one of her check-ups, would be their only form of communication. Chris had also started calling her, and even though she still partly blamed him for everything that happened, she liked Chris and felt that she should keep their friendship intact.

She never dreamt it would become this painful to be without Brandon. She had missed him every single day. But luckily she had her school work and preparing for the baby to keep her busy. Plus, Lori called her every day on the phone checking up on her. Lori had finally admitted to the fact that she had told Chris. Lori had told her she was just scared for her and wanted some other voice of reasoning to know. She apologized to Sienna over and over, until Sienna threatened to hang up on her if she didn't stop.

But late at night, lying in bed with everything quiet...she thought of Brandon. The way he used to roll over in the bed and bury his face in her hair. Or how he would whisper in her ear to wake her up because he wanted her right then. And how when he was really tired, he lightly snored.

Sienna's thoughts were interrupted as she sat in the car outside of the park. Tasha's son, Michael, was turning six today, and she and Darren were throwing him a huge party at a local park, completely decked out in Star Wars theme. Tasha had already pre-warned everyone that her son ONLY liked Star Wars. So, Sienna had the newest Anakin Skywalker action figure wrapped up along with a Star Wars Video game. She figured he probably already had all of that, but what the hell.

And Tasha had already warned her, but staring at the back of Brandon's Jeep was causing her heart to flutter. She was trying to stop breathing faster than normal, but she couldn't help it. She had never gone this long without seeing him, even when she was a little girl. She didn't know if she could do this. Would he be here alone? Or would another woman be on his arms? And immediately Sienna felt self-conscious. She felt fat and fidgeted at her clothes, that she swore didn't fit right. She checked herself in the mirror one more time and then stepped out of her car.

It had been so warm lately, that she had worn a cute summer dress with sandals. Plus, her jeans didn't seem to fit as nice as they once had. She smoothed over her somewhat flat stomach. Others might not be able to tell, but she noticed the difference when she stared at her naked body in the mirror. Plus, her breasts were much bigger now. Almost a full cup size. She was almost embarrassed by them. She felt so dumpy and plain.

As she walked through the entrance and out into the open park, she saw several young kids screaming and fighting each other with toy light sabers. She walked closer to the decorated picnic table, with the presents placed strategically in front of her stomach.

And there he was. She saw him and Darren standing off to the side by the grill. Darren turning the food over and talking to him. Brandon stood with his neck bent, nodding every once in awhile at what he was saying. Then Darren noticed her. She saw him quickly whisper something into Brandon's ear and turn his head. Brandon immediately looked up and over toward her.

Sienna jerked her head away before he could make eye contact with her. Her skin was scorching. Shit! These are those times when she truly missed Lori. She would have known what to do. Sienna scanned the opposite side of the small park and saw Tasha sitting at a colorful picnic table with her son. She started making her way over to them.

When she got closer, she heard Tasha scolding Michael. He had his hands crossed tightly over his chest and his bottom lip poked out. He looked adorable. Tasha finally exhaled and looked up at Sienna.

"Hey girl, I'm so glad you came," she said while hugging her. "I know this was hard for you," she whispered in her ear before she let Sienna go.

"Oh, well, thank you for inviting me. And I'll be okay." Sienna looked down at Michael. "And these are for you, Michael. Happy Birthday!"

Michael grabbed the presents from her arms and looked up and flashed a snaggle-tooth smile at her. He was about to rip them open, when Tasha stopped him.

"Nope, what did I tell you? After we sing 'Happy Birthday' and you blow out the candles, remember?"

Michael pouted again and slammed the presents down on the table. "Young man, if you don't stop acting like that, I'm going to take you out of this park, spank you, and then take you home, leaving your friends to have all of yours gifts!"

Michael tucked his little lip back in and sat up straight. Sienna chuckled. She figured he would be damned if he would let his friends benefit from his bad behavior. He seemed serious about Star Wars.

"Okay, now go ahead and play with your guests. And be good. No more hitting!" Tasha yelled after him as he took off across the park. "I swear, that boy," she exhaled again. "But he LOVES Darren. Listens to him more than me," she laughed.

Sienna pondered over that. Darren did have a way of making people listen to him. Yeah, he was one of the good ones. She was so happy for him and Tasha. They made a beautiful couple.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay? I know it's hard having him here, but he's Darren's best friend, so..." Tasha said, wondering what Sienna was thinking about.

Sienna slowly nodded. "Yes, I think I'll be okay."

"Speak of the devil," Tasha said, as she turned her back to Sienna and began picking up all of her son's gifts.

"Hi, Sienna," she heard him say behind her. No, she wasn't going to be okay. She didn't want to turn around, but she couldn't ignore him either. So she slowly turned and glanced up at him.

Damn, he looked so good. He was wearing a sea green tee shirt with the words Hollister written in white across the chest and denim jeans. The green matched perfectly with his stunning eyes. Eyes that were penetrating hers at the moment. She noticed he had also gotten a hair cut since she had last seen him. It looked really good on him. Suddenly, she became really self conscious of her body.

"Hi," she whispered back.

He had his hands tucked into his pockets but he was staring intently at her. "How have you been?" he asked in his deep Boston accent.

"I've been good, how about you?" she managed to ask, without fainting.

He looked down at the ground and then back at her. "Not so good," he answered.

His honestly killed her. But that was Brandon. Brutally honest to the core. She couldn't look at his face anymore. She now questioned why she had even shown up here.

Brandon was floored when Darren had told her she was here. He hadn't expected her to show. He knew Tasha had told her he would be here, so he figured she'd back out. After all, it had been almost two months since he'd last seen her.

In the beginning, he had felt like the biggest, idiot loser calling her several times a day, but he couldn't help himself. She made him crazy like that.

But she only ever returned his calls every so often, and he figured calling so much, probably just annoyed her. So he stopped. It had taken everything in him to do so, but he eventually managed to let it go, and wait for her to call and give him updates on their baby.

But here he was standing next to her. She looked more beautiful than he had remembered. Her thick raven hair was a bit longer too. Or maybe that's because he hadn't seen it down in awhile. She was wearing a sexy summer dress, very true to her nature.

He glanced down at her stomach, but she quickly placed her hands in front. He looked back up into her eyes and she looked away from him. He knew she was about 15 weeks. They never really talked much about her doctor's visits, but he had been doing his own research on the internet and reading silly pregnancy books. He figured she didn't want to talk to him right now, but there was one thing that she hadn't told him, but he was dying to know.

"Um, do you know what sex the baby is?" he asked.

Sienna still couldn't look at him. She had actually just found out the day before at her last visit, and she realized then that she had forgotten to call him. "A girl," she whispered, while pretending to pay attention to the kids in the background.

Brandon's heart soared. A girl. A small smile reached the corner of his mouth, while thinking about how much the Commander probably laughed on his behalf at that little bit of information.

"A girl," Brandon repeated. He didn't know what he was feeling at the moment. These past two months had been absolute torture for him. He knew she hated him, but a part of him thought there was still some chance for them. But she had carried on with her life like he had barely existed. Like he was almost a stranger on the phone. And a part of him thought that was for the best perhaps. But a bigger part of him, pride be damned, wanted her back with a burning he'd never felt before. He wanted Sienna back in his life. She remained in his heart at all times, but now he wanted her back in his arms.

"Hey, if you ever need me to take you to a doc appointment, I'd be glad to," he told her.

"Oh, thanks, but Tasha takes me, so that's okay."

"Yeah, I know," he said quietly. His hopes sank a little. He had wanted to take her, but not only for her, but because he wanted to feel involved. But he would respect her wishes.

Man, he was having a baby girl. The thought hit him again like a ton of bricks. He wondered if she would look like Sienna. He hoped. But maybe not too much like her, so he wouldn't have to kill some young man when she became of age. Oh, this was surreal.

He stared at her, even though she had yet to look at him again. She actually looked rather distant. Like she couldn't care less about his presence. How had so much changed in such a short time?

Brandon relived those last few moments with her over and over. The horrible things he had shouted at her. Her look of desperation as she tried to cling to him crying and begging for him to stay. He looked back at that Brandon and wanted to kick his own ass. She had begged him. But his wounded ego and hurt had caused him to walk out of the door, leaving her there to get sick and...

He couldn't think about it anymore. He had already driven himself mad over it. Oh, the many restless nights he sat up thinking about that. So he tried to change the subject.

"Your dad told me you were attending San Diego State. How's that going?" he asked.

"It's been good," she answered, still not looking at him.

"I'm so glad you were able to attend school. I know you really wanted to. I'm sorry it wasn't Spelman though."

"Well, mostly I just wanted to go to school," she answered quickly.

"Sienna, I'd really like to help you out with that. I mean, I know school is so expensive, and especially with the baby and the medical bills. I can pay for whatever you need me to. I promise, you won't have to worry abo—"

"It's okay. I have it. My dad's been great," she said, with her head turned completely to the side.

God, he hurt so much. She was completely shutting him out. He couldn't help it any longer. "Sienna, can you look at me?" he whispered to her.

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked, scared of what her answer would be. He noticed her bite her bottom lip. The same lip he had licked and sucked on a hundred times. Something about that stirred his dick.

"I guess it's best if you did," she whispered back, still not looking at him.

Brandon slowly nodded and turned to look out at the children screaming and running around. He should just walk away, but for some reason his feet felt like there was lead in them. He couldn't move from that spot if his life depended on it.

"I don't think I can," he said, staring out.

"Then, I'll go," she said in a quiet voice, as she turned to walk away.

Brandon wanted to call out to her. He wanted to apologize to her. He wanted to grab and kiss her and make her promise that she would never leave him again. He wanted to fall to his knees and kiss his child encased in her beautiful body. He wanted to hear her laugh again. He wanted...so much, that he feared he'd never have again.

He watched as she hugged Michael and Tasha and said goodbye. She waved to Darren in the distance and then made her way back to the parking lot.

Brandon hadn't moved an inch. He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. He saw the last glimpse of her dress as she swayed out of his sight. He felt sick. As if his legs would buckle at any moment. He plopped down at the table and ran his hands over his hair. His life was so fucked up. And he had no one to blame but himself.

Sienna couldn't make it to the car fast enough. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't bring herself to look at him the entire conversation. Her resolve was going to break at any moment had she stayed a second longer. Their relationship was too volatile to go back to, but damn if he didn't have some power over her mind, her body, her heart. She knew he could read her like a book, and she was sure even though she had put on a good front, he knew that she wanted him. And the truth in her eyes seemed to always be the one thing she couldn't hide from Brandon. Maybe it worked this time, but she doubted it.

Later that night, Sienna lay in bed. She looked up through the skylight in her room. Her father had told her a funny story about the skylight. Being the paranoid man he was when it came to his daughter, he didn't want her taking that room for fear that someone would break in through the opening. She was only a baby, but he told her that he was so concerned, until her mom had looked at him with this strange look. And she slowly said to him, "I think if they wanted to break in, they would just go to one of the many windows in her room." Her dad said he laughed so hard after that, because he felt like a fool. He said that was one of their better days.

Sienna looked at the stars...and thought of Brandon. He had woken her up one night, a few months back. She was so sleepy, but he grabbed her hand and led her outside. They sat in the back of his Jeep with the top down staring at the night sky, which she thought was funny. Brandon didn't seem like the star gazing kind. But he started talking to her about different things he had gotten himself into living in Boston. How different he found the people in California. She had fallen asleep in his arms that night, with a light wind blowing on her face, thinking life couldn't be more perfect than that.

She knew she had to get up in a few hours for school, but she doubted she would get any sleep tonight. Because when she felt like this, he invaded her dreams and she never got any rest.

---Hi all, I hope you enjoyed! I realize this chapter was lacking in the 'sex' department, but that's just because I felt like more needed to be said in this chapter emotionally. I hope when you vote, you don't hold that against me, but not to worry, chapter 9 will be out shortly...and maybe there will be some hot steamy scenes in that one;-) I'm not telling...

And extra thanks to Tangled and my "Brandon" for support on this chapter!

Soular