Dan's Life

I felt saddened when I heard that. Even though I hated what she did she was my wife for ten years and mother of my children. Hmm? My children what about them. I had lots of questions when I entered into Thelma's house. As soon as I entered the living room Thelma turned around and hugged me again. She put her head on my chest and cried. For the next few moments, I just held her.

God, she was so soft, so warm, my eyes were starting to tear up. "Danny," she always called me Danny, "Would you like something to eat or something to drink?"

"Thelma, I'm not hungry at the moment but coffee would be good. I have so many questions and I would love to just sit with you over coffee and talk." She poured each of us a cup; she remembered I took mine black, and said we would be more comfortable in the living room.

As we set our coffee down, she asked me to wait for a minute because she had to check on Danni. I thought for a second and said, "Danni? Who is Danni, Thelma?"

Thelma looked at me and said, "Oh, my God, I forgot you didn't know. Danielle is your granddaughter. We call her Danni. Beth named her after you." I got up and followed Thelma into a bedroom where there laid sleeping the cutest little girl I had ever seen. Tears immediately came into my eyes. This was my granddaughter. My little girl who I last saw when she was seven had gotten married and now had a daughter of her own. Thelma said she was my daughter, Beth, and her husband's child. Danni was about two and a half years old. God, I wanted to hold her so bad. Thelma whispered that I could hold her later but right then we have a lot of catching up to do. She took me by the arm and we headed back into the living room to start our talk.

"Where do you want to begin, Danny?

"Maybe you should tell me all you can about Rita and then we can go from there to happier things," I said.

"Rita started having an affair after that fellow, Allen, started working there. I suspected there might be a problem of some kind because, whenever you were going out of town, the kids came to visit me. The first few times I didn't think much about it until it became a habit. I would never deny having your kids here. I love them as though I was their mother."

"Thelma, excuse me for saying so but you are a very beautiful woman. Why didn't you ever get married and have a family? You're so great with kids."

"First off, wise guy," she smiled at me. "I've had a lot of offers for marriage. I always thought I should love the man if I were to have his kids. I was in love with one man so much but he was taken. I never found a man that could meet my standards of the man of my dreams. I dated and yes, Danny, I had sex with men I liked a lot but the love wasn't there. I had your kids here all the time so it wasn't as though I was childless. I just never met another man that met the high standard I had set. I've had a happy and good life so far. Who knows what the future holds?"

"I wish Rita thought like you. She married me and lived with me for ten years and I guess I didn't meet her standards."

Thelma butted in. "I'm sorry, Danny, Rita was a fool. I know she's dead and I miss her as a sister. She gave up a dream life and for what? A fucking cock? I'm sorry, Danny, maybe I shouldn't feel that way but she was wrong, totally wrong. She had it all and threw it away and by doing so ruined your life and deeply hurt her kids. I lost respect for her when I found out about Allen that dreadful night. I loved her as a sister but felt like killing her myself. We argued and argued about what she did till the day she died." Thelma started crying, so I moved over to the couch next to her and held her.

After she regained her composure she continued. "Rita kept dating. I guess it was her way of getting even with you. I had the kids about half the time. After a couple of years, Rita was starting to get sick. Her muscles were giving out. She went to the doctor and that's when she found out she had MS, Multiple Sclerosis. She was able to work for about two more years and then it became too much for her. That's when I suggested she sell the house and move in with me. She was on medical leave and then Social Security. I kept my job as a cashier at the local market. We did all right financially, using the income from selling your house and our jobs. About two years ago, Rita passed away. The kids had already gone out on their own and it was just me and Rita living here at the time."

"What a wonderful sister you are. You took in your sister and her two kids and took care of them. What about your life, Thelma? You've brought all these problems into your life and took care of others."

"It was family, Danny. I did it for family. Hell, my life isn't over, I'm only in my early forties and, if you don't mind me saying so, I still look pretty damn good." She smiled again.

"I don't know of a prettier sight unless it's that little girl in the other room," I replied. "What about my kids, Thelma? What can you tell me about them?"

"They're great, Danny. At first Rita tried to turn them against you but they were spending so much time here and kept asking questions about you and when they got older I told them the truth. Their mom had an affair and you thought she was being attacked and tried to protect her. They broke down and cried. They love you Danny or I should say loved you. They think you're dead also. What happened, Danny? How come you showed up dead?"

"Tell me exactly what you did. Maybe we can figure this out."

"Well, I was writing to you in Mansfield and then one day your letter came back and said you were no longer there. After a lot of telephone calls we - that's the kids and I - found out that you were transferred to Lucasville."

"Wait, Thelma, I never went to Lucasville. I was transferred to the Orient facility. Go on with what you did."

"We called the Lucasville facility and they asked you're number. We didn't have it. We didn't know if it was the same as your old one or not, so the guy told us to give him your name. We told him Dan Jones and that the Mansfield facility said you were transferred there. He said he would check into it and call us back. He called back the next day and said, 'I'm, sorry to inform you that Dan Jones who was transferred in from Mansfield was killed last week in a prisoner uprising.' He was sorry but the body was cremated and he would send us any records if we liked. We told him that wouldn't be necessary and hung up. The kids and I cried. We told Rita later but she didn't have a lot of expression at the time."

"So that's what happened, The other Dan Jones was transferred to Lucasville and was killed and I went on to Orient. I sure missed not receiving your letters. That was the only thing that held me together for eight years. Seeing the pictures of the kids and the great stories you always told me. If I didn't know any better I would have thought you were in love with me." As I looked at Thelma, it looked like she was going to reply but didn't.

"Well, anyway, Danny, let me tell you a little about your family. I'll began with Beth and Ed or Eddie, were high school sweethearts. They dated ever since the tenth grade. Ed is a good man, Danny. He reminds me a lot of you. He's hard working, always puts his family first and is in love with his wife."

I closed my eyes for a second when Thelma said that. At one time I really did love Rita but not anymore.

Thelma continued, "Beth and Ed wanted to get married right after high school. I told them I thought they were too young but Beth said, 'Aunt Thelma, I love Eddie, I really do. I've lost my father and my mother will be gone any day now. I love you, auntie, but I need Eddie.' I knew she meant it and I gave her my best wishes. Eddie works hard at the big automotive factory and is a welding apprentice. He will be making big bucks some day. Beth works as a cashier at the same store as me. We both work part-time and on different shifts. That way one of us is always here for little Danni."

"What about Mike, Thelma? What happened to him?"

"Oh, you would be so proud of him. He went to the local college and graduated with honors. He said he was going to be a salesman like his dad. The only difference is he sells computers and runs his own business out of his home. You also have a grandson named Mike Jr. who is three and a very beautiful daughter-in-law named Rachel. Now we have to find a way of breaking the news to everyone without them going into shock."

As we were talking a little girl came in wiping her little eyes calling for 'nanny.' God, what a beautiful child. She walked over and Thelma picked her up.

"Danni, there's someone I want you to meet. This is your mommy's daddy. It's your grandpa. She looked over at me and smiled. I didn't want to push it the first time so I just said, "Hi, sweetheart. I'm so very glad to meet you," and I kissed her hand.

I figured it was time for me to go. I stood up and Thelma said she would call the kids that evening and tell them I stopped by. We would make arrangements for me to meet everyone at the same time so there wouldn't be a problem of who saw me first. I gave Thelma a phone number of where I was staying. They had a payphone in the hallway for the renters to use. I need to go shopping and pick up a few things. I had to wait till Monday to find out how much money I had coming.

I hopped on the bus and got off at a store to pick up a few groceries. I had a small inset kitchen and one big room with a bed and couch in it. I didn't even have a TV but I never watched much anyway. We always had lights out by the time the good programs came on. As I got back to my apartment, I was walking past the phone and it rang. I looked around and didn't see anyone so I answered it. "Hello" I said.

"Is Mr. Dan Jones there please?" It sounded like a young female.

"This is Dan. How may I help you?"

"Daddy, you are alive! This is your daughter, Beth. I'm at Aunt Thelma's and she told me you were here." She was crying. "Daddy, I miss you and love you. Can you come by Aunt Thelma's tomorrow? I already called Mike and he will be there too."

"God, Beth, I love you too, honey. I met the sweetest little girl today. She's beautiful just like I remember her mommy being." She was still crying. "Yes, honey, I will be there. It's been so long since I saw you. Take care now."

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, Beth, and always have." Then I hung up. I walked into my room and started crying, only they were tears of joy.

I couldn't sleep. I was a nervous wreak. I got up and went out for a walk. I had to do something. I was about to see my family for the first time in over fifteen years. I had two grandchildren and a daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law. Then there was Thelma. What was not to love about Thelma. Beautiful, happy-go-lucky, loving, caring, took care of her sick sister and raised my kids, now she's there for the grandchildren and for me. She was a one in a million and I married her sister.

The next morning the phone was ringing in the hall. I answered it and it was Thelma. She said she didn't think about me not having a car and would be by to pick me up around 3:45 P.M. Everyone would be there for the cookout. It was Friday so everyone thought it would be fun, since no one had to work the next day.

Thelma was right on time. I went down the street earlier and bought a new shirt and pants. Then I looked at my shoes and picked out a new pair. It felt like I was going to an interview, one I really didn't want to fuck up. Thelma honked the horn even though I was sitting on the porch swing waiting for her. I knew she did it on purpose. I smiled at her as I walked to the car. When she pulled up in front of her house I was a nervous wreak. I was almost afraid to get out. Fifteen years since I saw my kids and now they were grown adults.

I stepped out of the car and a young woman came running down the stairs crying, "Daddy, daddy." Beth wrapped her arms around me and cried. "I missed you so much, daddy, and then we thought you had died."

I squeezed and hug her and cried right along with her. By then everyone was on the porch.

My son Mike came down and hugged me also. "Hi, dad, so glad to see you."

I hugged him and then we all went into the house and the rest of the introductions were made.

Beth introduced me to her husband Ed who put out his hand and said, "So very glad to meet you, sir, and just so you know, I really love your daughter."

Beth still had tears in her eyes and picked up Danni and said, "You met Danni yesterday. She was named after you, dad. Her name is Danielle," which I knew since Thelma told me the day before.

She handed Danni to me and said, "Danni, this is grandpa. Give him a hug and kiss."

The little girl came to me and put her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug and then kissed me on the cheek. I did the same back to her and handed her back to Beth.

Mike said, "Dad, I want you to meet the love of my life. This is Rachel."

I looked at Mike and asked if it was alright to give her a hug.

She answered for him and said, "I won't break, dad. And you can hug me anytime."

She called me dad as I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

I looked down and a little boy looked up at me and said, "Hi, pawpaw, my name is Mikey. I'm three years old but next month I'll be four."

I picked him up and gave him a hug also and said, "I am really glad to meet you Mikey."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "We're going to have a party for you. We have to go to the patio."

I whispered back, "Okay, Mikey, you lead the way."

We all stepped out on the patio and there was a big banner that read, "Welcome Home, Dad" and was signed by everyone. I knew Mike must have taken the time to make it on his computer. I sat down on a chair and cried. I couldn't help it. All these years I had no one. Here was my family, and I couldn't be any happier at the moment.

Everything was great we talked about old times. We laughed together and we cried together. We even talked a little about Rita. I knew the kids loved their mom right to the end but hated what she did to me. Thelma asked Mike and Ed to bring the boxes and bags of my belongings upstairs. She told them where to find the stuff in the basement. They came up with a few boxes and two garbage bags of stuff. Thelma said it was the stuff left over that the kids didn't keep, old books, a few trophies from bowling.

They would pull out different items and I would tell about them. After they heard the stories they asked if they could keep some of the items. I guess the items mean more when you knew why I had kept them and where they came from. The garbage bags were filled with my old clothes. I asked Thelma where all my clothes went to. I knew I had a lot more than two bags of clothing. She said that Mike went through everything and took whatever he could use, then Ed went through the remainder and took items for his welding job.

I looked over at Ed and asked him if he wore my old clothes for welding? He looked at me sort of funny and said, "No sir, I cut them up and used them for rags." Everyone started laughing. I guess my stuff was outdated. I reached in the bag and pulled out a silk Hawaiian shirt, blue with yellow flowers on it.

"Wouldn't this even make a good rag?" showing him that shirt and about three others.

"No, sir, silk, rayon and nylon don't make good rags," he replied.

"I see I have three pair of jeans. Mike, don't you wear jeans?"

"Not bell bottoms, dad." Everyone was laughing again.

Then Ed said, "So you know, sir, denim isn't good for rags either."

The other bag contained underwear, both boxers and briefs. "Mike, don't you wear underwear?"

"Yes, I do, dad, but a man doesn't wear another man's used underwear. It just doesn't happen."

Well, everyone was laughing. I thought 'good thing they weren't in prison.' There we had no choice. You got the underwear they gave you.

"Ed, underwear is made of cotton, good for rags."

"Yes, sir, you're right, but people have a tendency to say strange things when you use underwear as rags."

"Well, at least I can wear them and the socks. I have ties also, doubt if they will get much use."

We all were getting ready to eat when Mike asked me if he could talk to me alone for a few minutes. I told him of course. I had no idea what he wanted to say that he couldn't say in front of everyone else.

When we got inside, he looked at me very seriously and said, "Dad, did you know that Aunt Thelma is in love with you?"

I was half-shocked. "What? Mike, whatever gave you that idea?"

"She told all of us dad. We asked her why she never got married and she said the man she truly loved was already taken. We were older teenagers at the time and we weren't afraid to ask her anything. She was always honest with us. Beth asked her who was the man she had loved so much and she said it was you, dad. You were the man she loved. We all thought you were killed so I guess she felt telling us the truth after your death wouldn't hurt anyone. Dad, I just thought you should know. Other than my wife, Rachel, she's the nicest woman I know."

"Thanks, Mike, I really appreciate you telling me. So you know, I would never do anything to hurt her. You are right, she is a very exceptional woman."

We went back out and joined the party. I kept looking at Thelma and she was always looking at me. Mike had told me pretty much what Thelma told me yesterday. I knew I had to do something about it but what? I had been out of prison less than a week and had nothing to offer.

Everyone was getting ready to leave. Mike asked me if I needed a ride home but Thelma said she would take me. We all said our goodbyes and then I helped Thelma clean up what was left of the mess which wasn't much. Everyone had done their part in cleaning up before they left.

Chapter 3: Sex for the first time.

After everyone had left, I asked Thelma if she would sit on the couch with me for just a minute. I had a couple of questions that needed answering. Of course she said yes and I took her by the hand and we sat on the sofa.

"Thelma, yesterday you told me you never got married because the man you loved was not available. Who was that man?"

"The kids told you, didn't they? I thought you were dead and I needed to tell someone. I held it in for so long, I'm sorry, Danny."

"Sorry about what? What I want to know if it's true. Did you love me?"

She took both of my hands in hers and said, "Yes, Danny, I did love you, and for the record," she was squeezing my hands, "I still do and always will." She had tears in her eyes.

I wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't just say I love you too because everything was so new to me right then, I wasn't sure. I wanted to be honest with Thelma. I knew I had to say something since she answered my question.

"Thelma, I don't really know what to say. I have always had strong feelings for you but since you were my sister-in-law and I was a married man, I never pursued them. To say I like you a lot would be an understatement. Other than my kids, you are the only other person in my life. Would I like to pursue you or make love to you? Of course I would. I'm confused but I'm not an idiot. However, with that said, I'm afraid of hurting you. I have nothing to offer you and you deserve so much more than an ex-con like me."

Thelma just stared at me. I knew she was thinking of what to say. I had no idea how she was about to respond.

Then she said, "You lughead, yes, I said lughead. How thick is your skull? Didn't you hear what I have told you? I love you, I have always loved you. Not what you own, not what you have, not for money or material possessions but for you. Your heart, the inner being that is Dan Jones, that's what I love. Yes, you went to prison for doing what you thought was right, protecting your wife. I could never hold anything like that against you. In fact I love you all the more for knowing you would protect me. My only problem is how you feel about me. Do you like me enough to make love to me, to hold me, to caress me? I don't just want to be a fuck to you. I want to be your lover, your woman, maybe even your wife."