All Comments on 'Daphne Loses Her Way'

So are you going to finish the story,?

Pretty much unsalvageable. At least you could have shown readers the respect to have a beta-reader go over it, someone who knows how to use a ' before the s in a possessive term. But never mind, the woman's behavior is unbelievable anyway. Bleah.

Writers bio says Hopelessly romantic…but…her stories convey only one thing…hopelessly an unfaithful slut! I really pity her husband…god knows whose kids the poor cuck is raising thinking they are his!!! Would tell Arlenes husband to bail out and bail out fast….before the bareback fucking slut gives u a disease!

Another stupid bitch.. guys dont try to control women from going out because their insecure they do it cuz of stories like this of a stupid women that made bad choices. 1 star

Rape. Of course, the only real tragedy is that anybody stupid enough to bet their unprotected virtue on a stupid ass college baseball game just added another idiot to the collective gene pool. Also, no morning-after pill to short-circuit your stupidity? She MUST have gone to Alabama!

I can't really rate the story as there is only 1/2 of one.

Besides being riddled with grammar and punctuation problems, the main character is borderline retarded so it's hard to believe her having a steady job. And besides aborting the little bastard, we have something called the morning after pill, or the Plan B pill. Good for up to 76 hours after unprotected sex so even a hypocrite "pro life" cunt can take care of it without getting an abortion, so if this bitch is having that dude's kid, it's because that's exactly what she wanted to do all along.

So no morning after pill? I guess she wanted the kid and can now beva single mom.

And you wrote that when he came it was the first tome ever? Her husband never went bareback in her the three months of no pill or her diaphram?

When the 2nd sentence has a he/she typo I wasn't expecting much, and that's what I got. Bonus star for not being cuck.

So why did she cheat? Honestly. Alcohol is just liquid courage, so she went to the bar with the intention of cheating and having someone else child. Why? She clearly doesn’t want to be married to whatever his name is so why not just divorce him and be with someone else?

So why lie to us?

Why create such an unbelievable scenario that we are left with one of two conclusions: she’s a fucking moron who can’t keep her legs closed (which means you lied to us when she refused to have sex until marriage) or she wanted to cheat on her husband.

Which is it?

And so ends another marriage

Your bio says you're hopelessly romantic. It's more like hopelessly stupid, I haven't seen an element of love in any of your sordid tales. They sure as hell aren't erotic. 1*

Crimson Tide VS Gators....baseball...what??

Typical cheating wife Bitch BAMA slut wife

I think that Gator-boy better head home to the everglades and get lost... I never met a Crimson Tide girl that didn't have at least 4 cousins named Bubba that were gator hunters. And now that she is divorced because of him... their all pissed.

With very short stories, it is important to stress the emotional state of the protagonist. She is so one dimensional that the reader doesn’t care about her. Plus plot holes galore; doesn’t call in sick to work? I doubt very much that this dingbat is heading up any department and has deadlines to meet. If she isn’t there, somebody else will just have to empty the garbage.

Daphne was not only a slut but a stupid slut. She never caught on the game was a rerun and the guy had seen it before. Even the next morning, she lets him fuck her again and goes to work instead of heading home to get cleaned up. Not to mention the morning after pill. At least if Mike is an ass when she calls him she might get Linda at the bar to testify he got her drunk. In most states that constitutes rape.

stupid woman

Loved it.

-26thNC Approved

Stupid slut playing stupid games winning a stupid prize.

Oh, and drunk sex is not rape. Roofie sex without consent is rape.

She could have just called in sick to work...

app'd? Well, we can see why she's so fucking stupid now. Oh btw, you don't test positive two days later. Just a heaping, festering pile of bullshit.

Perfectly short story. No reason to add to it.

Can you really feel a painful twitch when a million tiny swimmers attack your egg? I don’t think I’ve seen anything that silly in a LW story before. I hope I don’t get any anonymous apps about this comment. Also, you halfwit Ohio State fans lay off The Tide. We have another National Championship to work on.

????

Maybe if you add the second part the story will make sense.

They didn't know about plan B?

You might want to listen to that little voice in your head that says "Hey this is really stupid" when you read it back to yourself. It knows better than ye.

A diaphragm would trap any semen that penetrated the cervix, but not any in the vagina; she’d still leak.

Of course, SEC girls know about Plan B.

Now, if you had made the story about a University of Kentucky guy tricking a North Carolina chick, that would have been totally believable.

Good story, I hope there's a sequel to see what happens with Michael.

I think deep down she wanted to cheat, everything else was just an excuse for her to do it.

You say you are a romantic person? Well story is do far away from being "Romantic" its about a woman who doesn't love her husband and went out to get laid. And now she is having a bastard child.

Too incomplete to enjoy, characters are morally bankrupt and unlikeBle

I actually enjoyed the sex scenes, but please get an editor as there were a lot of misspelled words and grammatical/punctuation errors, as other commenters have pointed out. The baseball scenario was also flawed as you have the anti-hero proclaiming that the batter will strike out with the count "2-0". That means it's 2 BALLS and 0 strikes, so it was highly unlikely that the batter would strike out and would have been a bad bet. If there is a chapter 2, I hope that Mrs. Slut Wife will discover a couple of Michael's friends arriving out of the blue while she is being fucked, stripping naked, and quickly making her airtight for the remainder of the night. Poor Steve!

What made me mad is stupidity!

She … he.. in the first 10 lines. Lost me. Don’t waste my time please.

The story could end: and the husband shot the rapist between the eyes. I sure would.

Couldn't read it. Writer has little command of the English language.

I and numerous girlfriends would hit a sports bar while we were still in college, and the night was a bust for me unless I met a guy, got fucked all night, and was hung over in the morning. None of us were married and your Bama girl was a slut-in-waiting, but these things happen regularly. Great story!

poor effort. so stylistically poor as to put off the reader; why bother when you the author are so easy you won't even proofread your work? Plus, nothing but disgust for your Daphne so why should anyone else read th story? Shape up or ship out.

She went to the bar intending to cheat. She took her diaphragm with her.

She lost more than her way, she lost it all, including her future.

If you go into a men’s club or seedy bar anywhere in Kentucky and wave a $20 bill, you’ll be swarmed by UK women who are “working”their way through school. No persuasion needed, just money and beer goggles. A strong stomach the next morning is advisable.

Stupid trashy bitch

What about the morning after pill?

If you tell us now what should be sexy, exciting or somehow interesting about it, then maybe I can laugh along with you. A drunk married slut lets herself be fucked by a stranger without protection and becomes pregnant. It is a shame that she did not become infected with HIV. Yes and now? The best part of the story is missing, namely the one where the husband burns her and sends her fucker to the hospital for a very long time. This impregnation was the last for the fucker, because he no longer has the required testicles for another one!!!

This could have had some some fun twists, Perhaps Daphne didn’t know she was watching a replay of the game played earlier…

so glad to see a new story from you, loved it.

first of all, welcome back! this requires a follow up...of course.

Ugly story. Another slut makes good.

Disgusting people. They deserve all the pain coming their way

Bama cheerleader being a virgin. About a 1 in 1000 chance. A bama cheerleader with a number in the hundreds. About a 1 in 1 chance.

Well are you going to finish the story, it was just getting interesting.

‘You did it to me. I'm with your child."

Now you owe me $250,000 Mike, in child support and university payments.

If you don’t pay up I will tell my husband you raped me.

Oh and by the way my husband is a “wiseguy” for the “Columbo crime family”

and you know what that means.

I want the check in two days lover and you will be off the hook and around to watch the Super Bowl otherwise we’ll…

Little did the doofus know that her husband already knew and was okay with her getting pregnant as he was sterile and wanted a family, this was number three.

This way they could have the family and it would be paid for by the sperm donors.

Glad there was the risk and glad he knocked her up. Good story.

In Loving Wives

If there aren't body parts scattered around the trolls are always going to whine and tell You how the story should have ended. Of course they couldn't write one to save their own asses. Any way, Roll Tide. Signed: BTW

That was a crappy way to end it.

You write well, realistic seduction. The best. Waiting for more

Dispensable vignette scribbled as amuse gueule on some latrine door south of Who-da-fock-caress Ville.

Captcha

Too stupid, predictable and sad for words. Enjoy all you cucks and sluts. What an asshat glorifying a slut and her getting pregnant by someone other than her husband. Certainly tells us what little character you have. Awful

What? No douche, tampons and seminal gel, and PlanB pill from a nearby drugstore?!?! Then why not an abortion?

Right! Stone cold sober next morning and opening up for one final whoring, adulterous fuck - then giving the cock sucking predator her phone number? Clearly dinner and the baseball game wasn't the only thing on her mind. And inescapably this would not then have been her first assignation and sexual betrayal. It went too easily, too smoothly to be anything other than simply another cheating slut-whore's night out while hubby is out of town WORKING.

Sad, pathetic garbage.

Putting the diaphragm in would hold all the spunk in place to make sure she got pregnant.. she knew she was fertile and had protection ,didn’t use it takes less than a minute to fit it .he was going to drop a load of spunk in her any way .but to breed her is a bonus.she was ready to get pregnant but didn’t know how to tell her husband to not to use condoms anymore.

Ianwants2cum

Lack of an ending ruined it.

I feel really sorry for Steve. I hope he can count, or believe the ultrasound rather than his wife.

She has certainly avoided being a mature woman bearing babies.

Wow. Can these other commenters understand that this is just a story. Lighten up people. Anyway I thought it was a great story of conquest and betrayal. Good job

The seduction was well done, but her total capitulation from a faithful wife to a complete slut the next morning didn’t make sense and was not realistic. Why let him have her again when she is sober (albeit hungover)? Why exchange telephone numbers? Why ‘think about’ seeing him again when he is obviously treating her with contempt? And as for getting pregnant when there is so much more she could have done post coitus beggars belief. And Michael is total dog shite!! Why why why? I was hoping half way through it was a game they were playing and it was really her husband, or she held a gun to his balls when they drove to his house, at the very least she threatens to set her ex marine husband on him. But no! It just became unbelievable and with no show of remorse or even a fraction of how she dealt with her betrayal when Steve returned, just left the whole story without a real ending. 2* for the seduction.

Wow. Great story, very well told ! You have a great style!

Horrible FMC, no remorse, no ending. Unenjoyable.

One star. Think that says it all. no ending, husband still not in the picture???? and shes proud to be impregnated by Michael. Seriously, whats wrong with everybody? Shes a lying, cheating skank. The seduction was like a played out tune...he obviously knew the game beforehand...how?

Do you know how to write a divorced single mom story?

Anon: "... just a story" is not an excuse or a rationale for writing an unrealistic, unstructured, crappy story. It's not an excuse for anything - including stupid comments.

I hate stories without endings. It indicates a lazy author. In the future, place a note at the beginning that there is no ending. It will save a lot of time for readers. If there was a zero rating, I would have used it for this crap.

Very well done. For me this wasn't a pleasant read. Good sex description but it was unsettling, knowing she was about to commit adultery and doing that wasn't really in her nature. In many ways she didn't want to and in some ways doing so was against her will...partly. She was drunk and whether she was truly a willing participant is a close question. And the reader knows she could very well end up pregnant. Which she did. This was more of a consequences story than just a fun read. And your writing/story telling was excellent, as was your somewhat subtility woven theme. Good job. (Reminds me not to have a one night stand... even though I've never had one.)

A well written if emotionally unpleasant read as 'theVikingSailor' put it. The commenters who were apologists for her infidelity missed the point. Whether she 'wanted to' or desired to didn't really matter. If it wasn't rape, then she was a willing participant and that made it a 'one-night-stand'. So ethically she should tell her husband and accept the consequences. If it were me as husband, it would be very much depend on the state of the marriage before the infidelity. You cannot 'undo' a pregnancy and either an abortion, carrying to term, or having it would always remind one of that infidelity. Also, emotionally to many traditional men, a firstborn is a sealing of marriage. Its not the same as accepting a previously married woman with existing children. That is a package choice. So, her choice to cheat or even put herself in a situation to be so compromised says she wasn't committed to her marriage. I, for example, would always wonder. So with little or no marital baggage such as a joint company, major real estate, or children, why NOT divorce and start again if young enough? And for perspective, I married a divorced 28 yr-old abused mother of a 4 yr-old daughter who I adopted and loved as my firstborn. But it was a choice born of love and not infidelity. Forgiving, but staying with an adulterous wife, and not really trusting the parentage of any future children would be too much for me. This story begged (begs?) for a sequel of consequences and difficult choices.

love all of your stories

I kept waiting for him to tell her that the game was recorded. I loved meeting married women and sending them home full. It was surprising how many were excited by the thought.