by qualitywheat
Sorry tale for Tim.
There's a reason why most of your stories don't go above 4.50 and that's because they suck.
Sexy, interesting and well-written. Quite credible too, which is a pity because at the end of the day she's betraying a wonderful fiance by doing something very stupid. Looks like she isn't going to get away with it either. What a terrible way to start her marriage.
This is a minor point, but did you change the name of the fiance from Keith to Timothy mid-way through the first page? You need to fix that.
The story was well written, and definitely did the trick. I just came, but as I lay here reflecting on the story I realize that my favourite part about it was that it seemed to be a day of hot steamy sex followed by a life of happy marriage. I could respect her more if she had one slip up, and had the best sex of her life in the meantime. But I feel that once she realized that Walter was her father in law it should've been over. She shouldn't have fucked him three months later and gotten pregnant by him…
On a side note, the blowjob part was well written… that's where I lost myself and came hard. Thank you <3
I find it HILARIOUS that some commentors have some sort of moral issue with the characters & their actions. Are you kidding me?? Didn't you notice this section is the Incest/Taboo section? Get a ladder or step-stool & climb down off of your high horse & enjoy the spin of a nice yarn.
I feel bad for Tim or Timothy or Keith whomever he is .First off his "loving wife" I'm betting not first time cheating for as long as she fucked FIL
Normally, I try to let others have their opinions, but after several of these statements I had to wonder if I was reading the same story/
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This thing is filled with run-on sentences and horrible punctuation, two of the biggest hits against "well written." The last paragraph is as good an example as any.
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Three months later we went to the states for a month's holiday. Oh what a time I had there. I came back pregnant, too!
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Well written is not confined to grammar and punctuation. Plot-wise, it was too obvious who Walter was, rendering the "twist" a "no shit, Sherlock" moment.
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No, I don't expect professional level writing, but this was barely grade school level writing.
First off: I always laugh my ass off at people who complain about cheating, it happens a lot more often then anyone would think. People can give into their baser urges, trying fulfilling your partners needs.
Secondly, this technically isn't incest. He's not her father in law until after they got married. This would've been better in the mature section.
Before dad even sat down at the table, his arrival and subsequent events were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. From there, it was formulaic forbidden sex. Aside from editing issues, you write well. You seem stuck on humiliating men. Stretch your creative side and forget for once your seemingly visceral anger towards men.
Keith was everything you wanted (apparently) yet Tim(othy) would kill for you....
??????