All Comments on 'Dazed and Confused'

When Bailey said, "Why did you brain the guy," I thought I was going to bust a gut! You are such a good writer. I love everything you've ever done. 5 stars.

Reads a lot like some of HDK's best stuff. This is what humor is supposed to be. That last joke was AWFUL,. I loved it.

Every story is something new. Keep writing, I'll keep handing out the fives.

Are so underrepresented here in LW World !

That was some funny shtick . I was waiting for Who's on First !

I have loved everything this author has posted , but please , leave the corny jokes to Vandemonium1 ! Lol .

Could have been great, until it couldn't. Oh well.

THAT has to be the THE most idiotic crap I have ever had the displeasure of reading!

but a good joke and a spoonful of sugar makes jolly, TK U MLJ LV NV

Funniest thing I've read since HDK hung up his quill. Humour is hard to do but you've got the gift. Please keep up the good work.

Or at least a hearty chuckle. And I think that Vandemonium has a worthy competitor here. :-) Thank you. Thank you also for raising the cause of Guatemalan Whorehouses. Are you planning a Fund.me page??

What a great way to start the day. I'm still smiling. Bravo. What a great sense of humor. And it still has heart. Many thanks. *****

wimp story 0*

A real funny read...So funny, that we don't care about how it will end...We just want to go to the next laugh...And as @Twentyseven says: "Humour is hard to do but @whatdreamsmaycome got the gift"! And in the end it has a human's ending, but still a hard way to follow. I would like to be present in their counseling sessions, if they would be as funny as this story...4*

Funny I knew they reconciled before I read it by looking at the mark. The poor BTB brigade can't cope with good writing and humour; it will always be rubbish when there is reconciliation. Sad people.

Keep up the good work, your stories are a cut above the usual drivel on here.

this one not so much. I simply do not understand women saying "I made a mistake". It is a choice. Those kind of choices have ramifications or consequences if you will. The one that really tickles me is "We can get past this!"

Ahhh..it is always the same old shit!

4*s

Just a sick attempt at a Burn The Bitch fetish shit.No score at all...

Out-fucking-standing.

Started my day with laughter.

Thanks!

This story was well written, and it made me laugh! Great job!

Not Funny! Just a stupid!

Go home an grow a pair before you try writing again.

Now that Joe is no longer here to parody the formulaic LW story, WDMC has taken up his quill to produce this little masterpiece. Is there no end to this author's creativity?

So we have all the standards: Husband comes home unexpectedly, errant wife having sex in the marital bed, the classic mention of the "married pussy", wife saying the sex is better than with her husband, appropriate violence, unbreakable alabi, and on and on it went. Wonderful.

Not sure about that reconciliatory ending though. That'll knock a few points off the score.

Lue

How can he countenance reconciliation without understanding why she cheated? Yet he kept saying he didn't want to listen to any explanations. It appeared the whole point was to create a black humorous cartoon, without distracting us with any substantive psychological or intellectual reasoning. The end result is inane and stupid. Adultery is dramatic. Discovering and understanding the adultery is usually suspenseful. Watching and hearing how the parties deal with the betrayal and cheating is usually compelling. This story was a lampoon of adultery, and ends up being silly and empty.

offer a reason, or excuse, that makes it understandable, acceptable, or reasonable. Readers always want the cheating spouse to come up with some sort of explanation when there really is none. This story poked some fun at the usual LW clichés, and did it quite nicely. It doesn't matter if they get together again or not. This story is about the journey and not the destination. Well done!

I enjoyed reading it. Do not take it seriously.

First, I simply LOVED this!

I wonder is SharedSigne caught the "treatise written by misogynists?"

To my good friend Crkcppr. this is obviously a funny story, so jokes of ANY kind are appropriate. I LOVED the ending joke!

@266xxyz Re: "I like your stuff But..." & @Anonymous Re: "BRAIN DEAD" - You're taking this too seriously. WDMC was poking fun at as many of the LW themes as possible.

@Anonymous Re: "Appreciate the humor" - You obviously get that it's humor, then try to take it seriously! Why not ask why his daughter believes her mother cheated because he showed her pictures of a guy in a hospital bed and a medical chart?

It posed several interesting questions about who infidelity hurts. And it is more than the cheated on spouse.

It also asks what DO you do with a cheating spouse?

And what would the comment section be without the more pointless comments, some from those who should know better?

It would be shorter.

Hilarious banter, but the old adage bears repeating...."Once a cheater, always a cheater"

A very different take on the same old story! The humor was unexpected, and completely changed what I started looking for (funny) instead of what I came for (erotic / payback).

But the Google jokes don't fit. Otherwise quite good.

He is lucky that he only hit the guy with his fist! Of course it should be in humour!

Fine, zany satire from the get-go! We never know what we're going to get from you, WDMC, so keep 'em coming and keep us guessing! ;-)

That being said, Cedric is a fool if he ever trusts her again. If she went out hunting strange once (with no consequences), she'll do it again!

And the closing pun is awful! (But I forgive you ... I think....)

The dialogue was great. However, how could he ever touch her again after seeing shaggy pounding her? She is so tainted that he should just move on. 23 years isn't long enough the gloss over what she did.

Not bad. lots of satire... I liked it..

I know people who have stayed together after on has cheated but I don't think I could ever be on of them . Catching them in the act of finding out on your own is a definite never . Maybe a confession maybe but I would never trust again . I would never believe it was one person or the reasons or was he better etc. I'm sure in all long marriages there are suspicions at some points on both ends because of the stats of cheating and knowing what others around you are doing. Catching in the act in my house on my bed might be a prison sentence for me.

BUT the jokes are the worst.

good story but pretty shallow, especially the ending. I would have liked to know how many others she had screwed along the way. Very minor character or plot development. Could have made it a lot more interesting with some examples, maybe a little question of Baily's parentage, a little sex while he was away etc. Lot's of possibilities. Appears your just another lazy writer who is wasting a good opportunity to create a good tale. ho hum. Glad I didn't have to pay for it....but don't quit.., but don't do it again until you've made up your mind to do a better job!!

I'm not sure how anyone could miss that this is a satire, and act as if it was meant to be anything other than a parody. Take all the LW tropes, mix them up in a bag, throw in a little pumpkin spice, some garlic, a spy gadget or two, some Special Forces training, a Guatemalan whorehouse and see what comes out. Most people seem to get it and have a sense of humor, but Jesus, those who don't, how did that happen?

Like a combination of HDK, JPB, Ohio and Britease, all rolled up into one. That was side-splitting! You are one seriously gifted writer. Two of my favorite writers on back to back days, Qhml1 and WDMC. Things are looking up!

Loved it!! So enjoy ur work. Five stars. Perhaps other commenters take the story too seriously since it's in Loving Wives rather than Humor and Satire. Lighten up, folks! It's fiction with a fun twist. Mega kudos!!!

WS

Still not complete without some damage to Mr Big Dick's balls.

Bravo!

The writing is so good that suspension of disbelief is almost automatic which makes it easy to get confused about the satire angle. A very fun read and a great way to start my day. Thank you

story line. I mean, how many ways can you write something like this? Well, one thing you can do is like the ad men say. If you don't have anything to say, sing it. And this one sang to me. I like funny and think that humor would be one way to get past this type of thing. Not bring reconciliation, just get by it. And having someone to share that humor with is a good thing. Needs to be a close person, like this daughter, so they feel what you are feeling. Good on you again, gave you 5 stars, add more to it or not, I liked it.

especially when viewed as satire. I disagree with some comments. If my wife was caught cheating on me I would want to know her backstory. Just knowing it was done would not be enough. I would like to know how often, any explanation even if not acceptable, etc. I think not knowing would keep me from being able to put the cheating behind me. However, that was not the point of this story which was intended as humor and satire. So full marks.

anon.1

Everybody almost likes this story but it has this score? Must be some hardcore one bombers out there. I thought it was brilliant. You sure have some good editors, I'll say that. I didn't see one mistake or typo in this. Very funny. You should write standup.

Joe is no longer here? Damn, ain't that a shame! He off pouting, or did they find the kiddie porn? Joe was never in this guy's class, anyway. He was all about taking cheap shots at other writers. All the writers just started deleting his shit anyway.

Great story, WDMC. You never disappoint.

He is going to take the cheaters word for her infidelity. Sorry no can do. If she passed a polygraph then I might give her a chance to redeem herself worth. She would have to be at my beck and call for 6 months . Kiss my ass or should I say lick my ass, blow me , and any other sex act I want.

Too many of the husbands issues go unresolved. Maybe the story is meant to be satirical but he will spend the rest of his life wondering f she'll cheat again or if this really was a one time affair. The daughter he's so proud of might not be his for all he knows.

On top of all that it could have used more character development as well

I rather liked it - the farcical elements were a bit slow to appear, but worked well.

In characterization I like a bit more of an edge in Trickster characters - old Coyote is not a nice person at heart, and so here I think more of a nasty shade to the male protagonist might work, as well as make the ending possible reconciliation more acceptable. The "clueless" shtick make the reconciliation seem... like a loss.

Look forward to your next piece.

Green-something

"Oh, no, you're not going off to stay in some swank hotel while I sleep in the AIDS bed." One of the best lines I've read in the LW section. Ever.

While this story didn't go the way I would have wanted, I can appreciate it for what it is.

in how I kept expecting this to get "better", but somehow it seemed to be pretty average quality. Your writing to date has been original and interesting in a good way, this was not.

and feel a bit chagrined, as I never got the humor and satire aspect. I put writers in a certain box, and the box you are in didnt allow for JPB or HDK type humor/satire. Oh well, I guess it was good from that perspective, but my expectations didnt allow it to hit my funny bone.

What is the difference in having crap like this happen after 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, or 30 years of marriage or being together? What if they were unmarried but together for 23 years and had a child together? Would that make a difference in the time "emotional investment?" Time should never be a factor in the determination of what to do when the other is not faithful. Since both are in their 40s there exists a very slim chance for full reconciliation. Only the simple excuse of fear of being alone. A truly shitty way to live ones life. Your character would be better off cutting all strings or becoming a willing cuckold.

Fuckin' classic! :)

the rest pf your story was damned good too :)

Thank God for humor - even in depressing "loving (cheating) wives" stories.

Were you channeling "A Walk on the Moon"? This movie with Diane Lane, Liev Schreiber, and Viggo Mortenson is a classic "loving wives" plot and had a very humorous (words wise) conversation between the Diane Lane character and her husband (Liev) after her own infidelity has become known to him. The words were funny but the delivery and reality were not. Good movie. Good acting. A 14 year-old daughter (a very young Anna Paquin) in the movie acting more adult than the wife and very, very condemning of her, as well. And apparently even a RAAC at the end of this movie also. The RAAC in your story here seems more permanently possible than in "A Walk on the Moon" because that affair was longer and more intense and Viggo was the lover.

I knew it was satire when I read these lines:

"My Special Forces training took over my body and I became a lean mean killing machine. I shook my head to clear it. Where had that come from? The closest I had ever come to Special Forces was buying a camouflage hat at the Army Surplus."

Reading a couple other stories from this author after coming across this one in the new story section I started reading the comments in other said stories. I'm still struggling with which is better, this author, who is good, or the people who comment on the authors stories.. I came back to check and was not disappointed. This author must continue, if, for no other reason than the absolute amusement I get out of the comment section. That's no knock on the writing skills mind you. I'm off to read some more, cant wait to get to the comment section, its like a superb desert after a great meal.. Simply stunning... I love it LOL

Indeed it is a shame that Joe (and his alter ego RLMann) is no longer here. But Joe' satires were somewhat bulldozer-like. This little masterpiece by WDMC trips very lightly and cleverly through the standard LW plot devices. So much so that some readers didn't recognise the parody.

Lue

The biggest problem is that this was written in first person. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it is when that POV is contrary to the ending. This is yet another story where we know every thought and feeling he had, and every thought and feeling were leading to divorce and only to divorce. You set up one ending and wrote another that was contrary to everything you wrote before it.

Really funny. I enjoyed the story, although the ending didn't fit at all. This wasn't exactly the sort of dark comedy that needed a tragic, depressing RAAC out of nowhere at the end. Thanks for sharing another of your great tales.

Cog

Pretty good yarn you wrote. But that last line is the best part of the Story.

I've been enjoying your stories. Please keep writing here. And remember to ignore the anom's that aren't happy unless you burn the wife - I do.

Was about to type "faggot cuck shit" and then my English Lit training took over and I was awestruck by the great crafting of the best words.

This is funny and sad and even a bit hopeful. 5* and off to read some more of your stories.

I doubt anyone but you is at all sad. Now, what would it take to get rid of you?

Fresh, different, funny, sexy, emotional, you can do it all. Keep writing!

....that begs...the rest of the story.

I know some authors like to end their stories when it gets to the point where the rest is either just running through the motions or getting al troglodyte-ey, but when a writer ends his/her story before the end (nice packages, all wrapped and tied), they leave the audience to think for themselves.....to emote and discuss.

Readers often dislike the demand this places on them. They just want the author to tell what they ended up doing, so they can laugh or cry or get mad (at the characters). Failure to do that risks readers laughing or crying or getting mad (or all three), but directed at the author instead of the characters.

Oh, they'll still discuss it, but with withering comments about how the author wasn't brave enough, or smart enough, or passionate enough about their story to finish it.

You've no doubt experienced at least some of this.....

Why do you persist?

Please understand. I appreciate your execution of the writer's craft.

But like many, dare I hazard, most readers here, I'm not particularly sophisticated or complex. I like a story that feels complete. This one seems to have ended when It felt like intermission.

So please, Mr. whatdreamsmaycome, could you please FTDS?

And thank you for this, as far as you took it.....

It took awhile, but I did LOL on "I wondered what I should do. Maybe I would have to check Google. Google knows everything."

Good effort, 3 stars. Probably deserved 4 stars, but I just didn't like the ending much. Considering he caught them in the martial bed, it would be very hard to get to lets give it try so quickly.

Your sense of humor shines here, ridiculing the cheating wife with one-liners instead of "burning the bitch." Provides a nice balance.

You are a funny writer

This is a great display of writing..........Beyond professional .Enjoyed the whole

story line....fantastic....keep writing and posting..

see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone." Nice! I love a good pun.

. . . laughed through the whole thing. Quite amusing. 5* for great entertainment.

Loved the humor. Now dump the silly bitch.

Reminds me a bit of HDK and that is the highest praise of which I can think.

Makes me want to catch my sweetie getting drilled by a hirsute guy so I can steal these lines!

But not Google's jokes. Ugh!

But the ending lost it, loses the humor and you never figure out why he would stay. Needed something like a humorous test for the wife or some reason why she would fuck a big,hairy slob like that. Have g her fuck a younger, attractive guy would hurt, fucking someone lime that would be an insult....and she can't even explain it, tells how little she even thought about it or him.

Great beginning. Would like to see another chapter. 🙈🙉🙊

Through the whole story. I agree with danoctober . I would like to see a Follow-up what happens after Jack gets out of the Hospital. Do they make it or does Stupidity Reign.

So funny. The husband and daughter had amazing banter. Will now read all your stories.

Story is good but not great! So please don't stop writing more stories on my accord because there is something in the story that I liked. It is Reconciliation and Humor

and I did say that it was good! ★★★★☆ WOOF

And others wanting serious explanations and resolutions:

Again, you're taking the story too seriously.

Unlike SJ, who was an angry little man who couldn't stand that some of us got enjoyment from BTB/Consequences stories.

I don't think that WDMC was attacking those stories, just poking gentle fun at them.

Really weak story to rapid forgiveness and no body to the interaction between husband and wife. Daughter has more screen time than parents

This was the first time I've read this Author. It had all the elements that I like, such as pace, believability and and strong dialogue . Kudos on a story well written in the Just Plain Bob style . Panther fan.

that was hilarious.

It was a spoof. A lark. It wasn't supposed to have substance.

I bet you're fun at parties.

...ever heard of Camp?

Mildly amusing...3.5 lol....

Anyone else notice that two of the three editors this author always thanks at the beginning of each story aren't members of this site? Hale1 is a member, but hasn't written a single story here.

Something has been fishy about this author since day one. Who else do we know that enjoys parodies of LW tropes, has a team of editors, and is surrounded by a large group of sycophants? Hmm.........

Are the stories well written?......... YES

Are they thought provoking?......... YES

Are they a breath of fresh air in a category mired down in fetish and perversion trying to legitimize betrayal, deceit, humiliation, sadism, masochism, husband hating, and outright stupidity?...... RESOUNDING YES

Does the majority of thinking and reasonable readers in this category want more of this kind of story? ........... YOU'RE DAM' RIGHT THEY DO!

So, why is this important to you, Anonymous? (You who are too cowardly to register a identifying nom de guerre so that real dialog can ensue or even to sign your comments)

whatdreamsmaycome, thank you again for this offering. I appreciate every one and look forward to many more.

No real person wants to go to Dairy Queen!

This was a bit rushed even for a flash story, but it had a good amount of humor and a real amount of confusion. Loved the Google answer section because of all the BS answers you get from there to a simple question.

Keep the good words up

Myhands316

Why would you go to DQ when you can go to Denny's and watch the drunk people get beaten on by the armed guard?

Now you have gone and done it. You have everyone up in arms over the lack of Guatemalan whorehouse storieds in the genre so I guess I'll have to crank out a few. Of course this means I'll have to make a couple of visits to one to make sure I'm accurate in my descriptions.

re:

Now you have gone and done it. You have everyone up in arms over the lack of Guatemalan whorehouse storieds

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't worry about it.

Once you all realize that you have to go through Mexico to get to Guatemala you see why it is more convenient to just dump them across that border.

Why waste the gas driving past all those Mexican whorehouses?

Air fare leaves too many tracks.

To one and all: in reference to foolscap's comment......DITTO! Please WDMC, write another!

Swedeq

Ha! Sir, your information is incomplete. You see, it is a lie that those Mexican whorehouses all have openings! Due to the huge influx of cheating wives being shipped across the border, all those Mexican whorehouses have huge waiting lists, and it sometimes takes months to get a cheating wife placed. Imagine, having to keep a cheating wife about for months before her travel arrangements can be made! Makes one shudder to contemplate.

Besides, Bob is right. Guatemalan whorehouses are hugely underrepresented in LW stories. I feel that WDMC must be a racist, refusing to give the poor sex-starved Guatemalans a new source of cheating whores. This inequality must be addressed!

Perhaps we might establish some sort of underground railroad, or something. Whores need houses, too, and Guatemalans need whores. It’s simple supply and demand.

Bob, you must absolutely keep us informed about your research. If you could find a couple of establishments with openings, you would be the hero of all us LW authors here with dozens of cheating wives on our hands and no place to dispose of them. Well, maybe not the cuck guys, but the rest of us. Keep us in the loop! I will be founding the Society for the Promotion of Equality for Whores (SPEW), Guatemalan Chapter, and Bob will be our chief placement agent. We will find you a position I’m sure you will enjoy, Mr. Cr0ws, perhaps even tw0.

They are going to be superbly written with zero mistakes, they will be read in huge numbers and there will be a ton of very good and interesting comments. That tells me this guy is at the top of the game. I gave it a five.

The comments are better than the story.

Shirley, goo goo google sux. Still hasn't passed the baby talk stage yet. I think we used goo to seal the valve covers on the engine.

Lorraine and Clearly? Ha ha ha.

Really funny story and finding humor in a terrible situation takes real talent. I kept thinking Mandy was going to sight blackmail over something at her office or some other reason for tossing 23 years down the drain. Thought hubby flipped pretty quick in the end to giving her a second chance. I think he needed some more google searches to make a call. Perhaps asking Siri if he should give a cheating wife a second shot. Or what is the wait time for Mexican Whorehouse? Maybe the odds of a cheating spouse staying faithful after being caught??

Thanks for the read

I didn't even know there were Guatemalan whorehouses.

You got a comment from JPB!

I thought this was a serious story. I thought it was true!

Really though, write a sequel. Let's put Mandy through her paces.

A five of course...

Jedd Clampett

Golly Jeepers.

Love your stories, your dry sense of humor, and your writing skills. Thanks!

Very well written

However, perhaps very short affair could be forgiven if not for the location..in their house, in their bed is not a mistske but rather the ultimate in planned, willing, and wanton betrayal.

Wife needs to witness him balancing the scales

Absolutely delicious. I laud your craft, your insight, sense of humor, and your wisdom. Thank you again