Dead and Horny Ch. 12

There were centaurs, and many of them. The creatures milling about the yard looked at her, but kept about their business. They were doing work on the new garden, and many of them carried tools for pruning. Along the stone wall of the yard, a beast that looked like a dragon opened one eye to watch them.

"Jesus Christ," Dana whispered.

"Hey now," Lily warned. "That's offensive."

A woman sat slouched on the porch swing beneath furry blankets, her eyes on them as they approached. Dana had been expecting to see Cecilia, but didn't know who this was. However, when the woman stood, the blanket unfolded into three bushy tails that swished behind her. Large velvet ears unfolded above her hair, and her eyes narrowed.

"Who are you?" the fox demon asked with a hint of warning in her voice.

"Settle down, Maid Marian, we live here." Lily stuck out her tongue. "You should be a good girl and go tell Daddy that we're home."

The air had become cold, and icicles were forming on the ceiling of the porch when Abella the gargoyle leaned over the edge.

"It's okay, Yuki, they're allowed to be here." Abella looked at Dana and winked. "Sorry for the chilly reception. Mike is visiting the centaurs, but he'll be back in a bit."

Yuki's cheeks turned red, and she looked down at the floor. Dana noticed that parts of the porch had frozen by her sandaled feet.

"My apologies," she told them, then moved back to the swing and sat. "I'm a bit overprotective right now."

"It's okay, you're still a very good girl." Lily went to pat Yuki on the head, but she dodged away. "Maybe I'll bring you a treat later."

"Just leave me alone," Yuki muttered. She pulled her feet up against her body and stared out into the yard.

Dana recognized that far-off gaze immediately. It was the same one she had worn for so long after Alex had died, the mask to let the world know that there simply wasn't enough energy left to do anything but exist.

"My name is Dana," she said, then held out her hand. "The bitch next to me is Lily."

Yuki looked at Dana, then took her hand. While they were shaking hands, Yuki's nose wrinkle up.

"You smell...unwell," she said, her features suspicious.

"Oh, she's the very opposite of healthy," Lily chimed in. "She's one-hundred-percent dead."

Yuki frowned. "You're dead?"

"Afraid so," Dana replied. "But I'm feeling much better now."

This made Yuki grin. Dana grabbed Tick Tock by the handle and carried the mimic inside. She paused at the doorway to watch a squad of rats carrying small bits of lumber up the stairs. Somewhere above, Tink the goblin could be heard shouting instructions punctuated with vulgarities of every combination.

"How long were we gone?" Dana whispered to Lily.

"Maybe not long enough," Lily replied. "Welcome back to Radley's home for broken furniture. Let's go see Ratu. I'm ready to be rid of our collection."

The journey to the Labyrinth took them most of an hour. Dana had Tick Tock become a backpack for ease of travel, and by the time they sat in the center of the Labyrinth, Ratu was waiting for them.

They laid out the three objects they had recovered with Lily handing over the Dragon Seed. Ratu eyed it in appreciation, then used a pair of tongs to take it from the succubus. She held it up to the light, then placed it in a silken pouch which disappeared in her robes.

"That's one I think I'll lock away," she said. "It should be dormant, but even I can feel that it's calling out for a host."

"Yeah, well the guy we took it from found a shortcut to empower it." Dana explained what had happened with Tristan, and Ratu listened with great interest.

"Magic doesn't like shortcuts," she explained once Dana was finished. "Though his metamorphosis was quick, it came at the cost of his humanity. It will be some time before I can break this down without that malevolent energy carrying over."

"Well, we're not in a hurry. We couldn't find the other things you wanted." She felt like a little kid telling the teacher that she couldn't complete an assignment. The urge to make a bunch of excuses rose, but was easily suppressed.

"No matter. This will give me time to study what you have brought, and perhaps devise another method." Ratu smiled politely, then examined the bag of marbles and the flask. "Guess you'll have to stick around?"

With a smile, Dana looked at Lily, then nodded. "Planning on it."

Instead of taking the traditional shortcut through the reflecting pool at the entrance of the Labyrinth, Dana and Lily were led by a couple of rats to a portal they had made for the naga which didn't involve getting wet. They found themselves stepping out of a small closet by the back door of the house as the portal shut behind them.

"Oh. He's back." Lily looked toward the front of the home. "I can feel him out there."

"Should we go say hi?" Dana asked. She figured she owed him at least that. Or maybe even a sorry about running out without saying anything, and thanks for letting me live here.

"You should. I'll tell him hi in my own way later." With that, Lily vanished in a puff of noxious smoke.

"Thanks," Dana mumbled, then took Tick Tock off her back. "You should probably go find somewhere to hang out, no need for you to see this."

The mimic remained where she set it. She walked to the front door and let herself out. The sun was setting now, and Mike was sitting on the porch swing, an opened bottle of beer by his feet. His hair was longer than she remembered, and he smelled like a field of flowers after a storm. He looked her way and jumped to his feet when their eyes met.

"Oh, Dana, hi, uh, shit." He had spilt his beer with his foot, and he knelt to pick it up. "I was just sitting out here for a bit. Got back a few minutes ago. Yuki told me that you were back. I didn't want to bother you or anything."

"Can I sit with you?" Her words had a calming effect on him and he sat down on the swing with a sigh. She sat next to him, her eyes on the activity out in the yard.

"So...I see the house has changed a bit," she said.

He nodded. "We've got centaurs now. A whole village is being migrated into the greenhouse, it's rather amazing. Cecilia is off on a trip of her own. I hope she comes back soon, I miss her."

"Yeah."

"So...did you find what you needed? To undo your curse?"

"No."

""Damn. I'm really sorry." There was a slight hitch in his voice, and he looked away for a moment. "I was really hoping you'd find what you were looking for."

"The real treasure was all the friends I made along the way," she muttered with a grin. He looked at her in puzzlement, so she just shook her head. "Maybe next time. I'm sorry about bailing on you, by the way. I guess we should have talked about it first."

"Yeah, well..." He chuckled, then scratched his chin. "You were murdered last month. You've got your own issues, I guess. Lily has no excuses and doesn't need them. I'm just grateful that you kept her out of trouble."

"How do you know it wasn't the other way around?"

"Touché." He laughed. "She came back a bit ago and refused to tell me what happened. Said it was your story to tell. If you've got nothing else going on, I'd love to hear about it."

"You're really not mad that I left?"

"Nope. It's your life." He blanched, then waved his hands apologetically. "Sorry, is that the wrong thing to say? Should I call it your unlife? Afterlife? Undeath? Shit."

She opened her mouth to say something, but the front door banged open and a dark figure in a robe appeared. He stood nearly seven feet tall, and his cowl had been pulled back to reveal a polished skull with fiery orbs inside of the eye sockets.

"Mike Radley, have you seen the Earl Grey? I fear that someone may have misplaced it." The grim reaper spoke with a British accent, and was holding a teacup in one hand.

"Yeah, I got some for you in the mail this morning. It's in the bottom drawer of the office."

"Thank you. I hope you enjoy your evening." With that, Death walked back into the house, letting the door slam shut behind him.

"Was that who I thought it was?" Dana asked, her eyes wide.

Mike turned to face her. "You can see him? That's a long story of my own. Care to swap?"

Her trip had been filled with thousands of moments, each one burned indelibly into her memory. What had started as a simple road trip had turned into battles, new friendships, and even a fight with a naked dragon-man. Now that she sat across from Mike, she realized that he wasn't some stigma looming over her life, but someone just like her. He was on a strange, wonderful journey of his own, and would do anything in his power to help her.

"Okay, maybe just the highlights." She twisted to face him properly, and they took turns regaling each other with their tales as the sun set. Though she kept her promise not to mention the arachne, they swapped stories until the home behind them was dark and Mike was fighting sleep. With a promise to finish catching up in the morning, he left her behind on the porch.

She sat on the swing and watched as a quartet of fairies chased each other through the small maze that was growing in the front yard, while listening to the house as it creaked in the wind. It wasn't the home she had ever imagined living in, but it was full of people who would support her, despite the fact that she had become the prodigal daughter.

When she went inside, the house was silent as she walked through the rooms only to find herself out back. Naia's fountain burbled quietly, and she half expected the nymph to appear and say hello. Not wanting to have a conversation right now, she kept going to the garage and let herself in the side door.

The garage was a mess.

In Dana's absence, it looked like Tink had started multiple projects but hadn't bothered cleaning any of them up. She would have been annoyed if not for the fact that it gave her something to do. The early morning hours passed as she dutifully picked up stray tools and organized them onto the wall of the garage. It reminded her of her apartment, a place where she could work on her motorcycle or a project from school.

While cleaning, she discovered a small staircase in the back of the garage that led to an old-style oil-changing pit. It had been sealed over, which turned the space into a small room. It was even messier than above, and was home to more tools and a bunch of half-used supplies for home repairs.

As she cleaned it up, the thought occurred to her that maybe this could be a place of her own. It was away from the house and would give her privacy. It was also connected to the garage, which would give her plenty of space for her own projects She wasn't sure yet what would occupy her time, but certainly a house as old as this one would need some work done.

The room was coming together. She set Tick Tock down in the corner and had an idea that felt dumb, but needed to be done.

"Hey, can you become a mirror?" she asked.

Tick Tock obliged, and she stood in front of a vanity with a mirror set deep in a braided wooden frame. Up top, the masks of tragedy and comedy had been carved in the wood. She found it oddly fitting.

Taking a deep breath, she met her reflection's stare. She wondered how long she could stand here, perfectly still, judging herself.

"I forgive you," she said. "And Alex would, too."

Her reflection didn't answer, but Dana did feel better.

As morning light streamed through the garage door windows, Dana stepped outside to shake the dirt out of some old tarps before folding them up. Naia sat on the central column of her fountain, one leg crossed over the other.

"Hey there, stranger." Naia's voice reminded her of the tinkling of bells. "Looks like you've been busy."

"Yeah, just cleaning up and making some space for myself." She gave the tarp a shake and then folded it. "Gotta have a place to call my own."

"Does this mean you're sticking around?" Naia's tone was hopeful, and Dana looked up at the house. It could use a few coats of paint. Up on the roof were some bad shingles that could be repaired, and there was even a spot on one of the turrets that looked like a gutter could be installed.

There was plenty of work that could be done here, and in return the house had plenty of love to give. There would be days that Dana felt like she didn't fit in, and days that she questioned herself. But the people who lived inside had been kind to her, and she knew that they would do anything they could to help her out.

"Guess I am." When Dana smiled at Naia, it wasn't from happiness. It was from the sense of satisfaction that came with making an overdue decision, one that she was grateful to make. She had run from this place once, but had found a bit of herself in the process. There would be many long days and nights ahead, and she would do her best to fill the restless hours with whatever she could find.

But most important of all, she would try to fill some of those hours with others. If she could make friends with a bitchy demon, why not a goblin, or a centaur? Or maybe even a rat? There was plenty at the Radley House worth exploring, all she had to do was make the effort.

"I'm so happy to hear that!" Naia hopped up and down, causing the fountain to overflow. "I want to hear all about your trip when you get a chance!"

Dana set down the tarp she was holding, then walked over and sat on the edge of the fountain. Naia leaned forward, her chin in her hands and her body supported by a steady stream of water.

"How about now?" She twisted around so that her feet were in the fountain. The water was cold, but she liked how it swirled around her feet. "After all, I've got nothing but time."

Lily sat on the swing of the front porch, her wary gaze on the street. In the early light of morning, people jogged past the front of the house. She found it to be one of the most ridiculous pastimes ever conceived by man. However, it wasn't like humans had any other reason to exercise, so she supposed at least the cause was noble. If it helped keep leggings in style, she was all for it.

The door opened and Mike stepped out with a pair of coffee mugs. He handed her one of the cups as he sat next to her.

"You know I don't need to drink this shit," she told him, but took it anyway.

"I'm aware." He sipped at his, then let out a contented sigh. "But I wanted to have one on hand just in case."

She prepared a snippy retort, then decided against it and sipped her coffee instead. "Is that cinnamon mocha?"

"Just a bit. We're going through a ton of coffee now, especially Beth. She drinks it like it's water."

"I bet. That girl needs her energy. I hear she's been tackling some huge tasks recently."

"Really? Do you think she needs help?"

The question had Lily snort so hard that hot coffee sprayed out her nose. She laughed, then wiped the liquid off her blouse. "Shit, Romeo, I can't believe you're that oblivious."

"Oh, I'm not." A stupid grin appeared. "I've heard she's really taken the bull by its horns."

"Please don't, no puns. I'm leaving if you're going to crack stupid jokes. You got me good, I'll let you have this one."

"You're so gracious." He sat back and looked across the yard. "I'm happy to have you back, by the way."

It was so direct that Lily froze, and she felt hot inside. "I think you're just happy to have that hot piece of college ass around."

"Hardly. I'm surrounded by amazing asses already." When he looked over at her, it caused his hair to frame his face perfectly, and his deep brown eyes drew her in. "But speaking of Dana, thanks for looking out for her and making sure she came back safely. I saw her out back. She's been cleaning out the garage. Hope that means she's staying for good this time."

"You weren't worried about me?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I was. What of it? You're probably the strongest person I know. I don't know what could possibly hurt you. Besides, you would just give me shit if I admitted it."

Lily wasn't so sure about that. After spending so much time with Mike's soul, she had become comfortable, and was now feeling things that she had thought she could never feel again. It had been the same way, once upon a time, with Aladdin. She wondered now if Aladdin had ever been in love with her, or if it had only been her station. Power had been his Achilles heel, and it had caused them both to fall from grace.

"You're right, I would give you shit," she said, breaking the silence. "And you're awfully direct this morning. You get sucked off before coming down here?"

He blushed and looked away. She grinned, happy to have finally gotten a reaction out of him.

"Why, you hungry?" he asked, then sipped some more coffee. "Or do you need to feed your buddy, momma-bird style?"

"Ooh, you've gotten so spicy while I've been gone." She slid a hand along his thigh. "Mommy like. Maybe I am hungry, what do ya say?" His cock was stiffening in his pants, and she gave it a squeeze.

The front door opened and Beth stepped outside. She was in an oversized shirt and leggings, and her hair had fallen in a tangle around her shoulders. Mike stood as if burned, and his whole face became red like a beet.

"Morning," Beth said. "Sorry, I thought maybe Cecilia was back."

"Nah, just Romeo and I catching up." Lily stood and pinched Mike's ass, which caused him to jump. If there was one person in the house that still made him nervous, it was Beth. "Talking dirty to each other, you know?"

"I'm sure." Beth laughed. "You sticking around, or are you off on another adventure?"

"You know what?" Lily walked by Mike and ran her hand across his chest before pinching his nipple through his shirt. He squeaked in protest, and she patted him on the cheek. Her feelings for him were complicated, but even just being with him made her feel like she could be a better person. She had a lot to atone for, to make her feel worthy of actually being loved. There was no better place to do it than here among those who accepted her for who she was. "I think there's plenty of Hell for me to raise around the ol' homestead."

"Glad to hear it. Welcome home," Beth said, then opened the door to go back inside.

When it clicked shut, Lily moved over to Mike and pressed herself into his arms. It caught him off guard, but he wrapped his arms around her and she felt the entire world collapse in on itself.

"It's good to be home," she muttered in Chinese, knowing that Mike wouldn't understand.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Just talking to myself," she told him. Maybe someday she could be direct about how she felt, but she would wait for now. Mike was still at the beginning of his journey, and she worried that something would eventually come along to turn him into a Tristan or Amir. Her already fragile heart wouldn't be able to take it, so she would guard it for as long as necessary.

"That's my Lily," he said, then ran his hand through her hair.

Though her feet remained on the ground, she felt her heart soar.

The window of Cyrus' bedroom looked out over the gardens. Down below, a small cluster of mages were practicing with their wands by pushing a piece of paper at each other through the air. It was a simple spell, but the exercise was actually rather complex. It was a means to instruct the men and women of the Order in how to control the flow of magic through their bodies. It was one thing to lose control of a spell, but another entirely for the spell to gain control over the caster.

He remembered one time about a decade back when an eager acolyte had been doing the same exercise and blown off his own hand. The magic had turned inward, then flayed his flesh like a blender, spilling blood across the training grounds. It was a memory he would rather forget, but far from the worst he had experienced.