All Comments on 'Dean's Delight Ch. 03'

write more shy incest and gay stories pleaseeeeee

include pregnant sucking and fucking.

This is a great series of stories. I would like to see more involvement of Dean's mom and maybe even bring Dawn in somemore. Does Dawn have a brother that she wants to fuck? How about Jenna, does she have any brothers or sisters who might also have families that need to get involved. Does Lindsey want/need to have a baby. Looking into the future about 18 years, does Dean's first born get invovled at all. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination. Keep writing.

You've got a great story goig here. You've got to continue with the story there's so much more to tell and it'd be a shame to stop now.

You are a good writer. You know how to handle words.

However this definitely wasn't the best incest story there is. This was just fucking, fucking and fucking. It was really boring to read as they didnt do anything else than fucked each others brains out. It really didnt matter that they are siblings, it would have been the same if they would have been just completely strangers to each others.

Altough this is a fantasy and everything is possible in fantasy, but a bit of realism would have made this a extremely good piece of literaty. There was a really hot subjects, like the pregnancy. But it was flattened off completely and you didnt settle it at all. That was a big dissapointment, there were no feeling in it, it was just "oh, you want to be pregnant, oh now you are pregnant. So, why dont we eat each other out and let him fuck our brains out at the fifteenth time in this weekend?" What if there would have been a slight pause and the story would have continued after four or so months? Her belly would have been bigger and all. I got the feeling that you were afraid to write about it, and at the end i got the feeling that you were just too bored to write the end part of this novel?

Then there was the arriving of Dawn. Nah, not hot at all. It was a really a big dissapointment that she arrived in the locker room. The hotness that was before, went now completely away. At that point, it didnt matter if her name would have been Nelson Mandela or Britney Spears, because i already knew what would happen anyway.

This whole novel was just a compile of describing the same fuck over and over again, but everytime written in different words. You tried to put everything in this novel and that was a big mistake. You know, in the music the composer have to leave something out. "The silence is the music" they say. I would have kicked Lindsay completely out of the story. She was the stupidest stereotype of a Californian bimbo blonde - big tits and raunchy tongue, "Oh spank me, spank me bitch" yuck! Also, it would have bring the salt in the story if they would have to hide their secret from their mother or Dawn.

Now don't get me wrong, i think that you are a good writer, but this time it was just the story that sucked big time, it didnt had any imagination. I liked the detailed describing of tha acts, altough, and your use of words. So keep that style and write more :)

would love to see more on this family deans needs to tap devons ass and his moms and also dawns

getting Lindsay and maybe Dawn pregnant too - that could lead to some wild times later when the kids grow up???????

adding dawn killed the story it was iffy with both sisters and mother involved but adding dawn killed it incest has to be kept to a minimum of people the more that know the easier it is for someone to get mad and tell incest stories are only good if it is kept to two or three siblings only no parents and no outsiders remember "KISS-KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID"

Okay, chapter 3 ... still more of the same. For me, personally, I would have loved to have more interaction with Dawn. I have to say the biggest issue for me with this chapter was the time flow to Dean's birthday. It felt too choppy and discongruent. As much sex that was happening in that house, I am surprised that you did not take the chance to share what was happening.

Needless to say, out of the three chapters of your story ... this one was not my favorite by far. If felt as if you wanted to be done with it and so you were.

What happened with him and Devon and the baby.

Yeah I have to admit normally I give these types of stories a wide birth since they're so over the top, but curious myself what happens to dean and devon and the baby.

but what can you expect from the guy that totally fucked up "A BOY IN BABELAND" that was a real waste of time and this wasn't any better.

Mr. Enforcer, I really loved this series....some of the hottest stuff I have read in my entire life!! Keep it up sir/madam!!

Don't like Dawn thought the author should include the mom more and no outsiders

You responded(?) at the end of the previous submission (I refuse to call it a chapter as it is so corrupted with errors it doesn't qualify) blaming readers for your inadequacies. Sonny, nationality does not create the multitude of errors you make in spelling, improper use of terms (your/you're, then/than, her/here, switching sexes {her for him and him for her}, omitting the apostrophe where required (sisters does not mean the same as sister's), switching character names often in the same paragraph, typos, and grammar. YOU make them, and are then too lazy and arrogant to acknowledge those facts. It would require as much space as you utilized in your submissions to detail your errors. It is unquestionable that your concern is for quantity and not quality as any serious proofreading would eliminate many of these errors. As it is extremely apparent you are extremely deficient in your ability in spelling, invest in a program that will catch many of these errors. Why don't readers leave contact info? Many probably don't want others to know they even read your submissions. Many of us quickly acknowledge we lack the talent to produce a storyline, but we do have the knowledge to recognize incompetent spelling and grammar "efforts" and other errors. You should be more than grateful that Literotica accepts your submissions without demanding at least a minimum of spelling and grammar efficiency. So trying to see how many submissions you can make and spend a far greater amount of time (if any) correcting the errors you make on the ones you do submit. I have chosen to stop reading anything you submit due to this total disregard for quality in lieu of quantity. Instead of whining about anonymous comments, go back, read your submissions and see if you have the competency to find the majority of these errors. If not, seek the aid of the responder in the last submission. Fail to do so and you will continue to be inundated with a flood of criticisms.

Yep this story is what Teen fantasy stuff is all about. The credulity is really stretched to the max. No better example is the mother’s joy upon hearing that her youngest daughter,at 18, is pregnant to her son. God knows what there is to be happy about that, her daughters life totally fucked up from here on??

Only one thing could’ve been even more fantasy is all three of the females in the house being knocked up by the son and brother.It’s a wonder it didn’t happen LOL!

But hey, that’s what uncomplicated fantasy is all about.

Although the storyline was just ridiculous it was fun.

3/5 from me