Death in Absentia

"Jason? I thought that was you." Alycia's boss Barb was standing in front of the car with a worried look on her face. "She didn't come home last night?"

Jason just shook his head. He didn't want her to see his face.

"Did you call the police?"

"They said they couldn't do anything."

Her concerned expression morphed into one of anger. "I'll see about that." She strode purposefully into the office and disappeared. Jason just sat behind the wheel and stared out at nothing.

It was about ten minutes later when a police cruiser pulled into the parking lot. Barb came out of the building and went over to the car and talked with the officer. After a little conversation Barb and the police officer walked over to where Jason was sitting.

Barb reached in and put her hand on Jason's shoulder. "Jason, this is my nephew, Ted Parker. He's going to see what he can do to help. At least he's going to take a missing persons report, right Teddy?"

"I'll take it from here Aunt Barb. You go back inside and we'll come in when we're done out here."

The young man was a lot different than the dispatcher on the phone the night before. He seemed interested and he seemed to care. He actually wanted to help Jason. He asked a lot of questions, many seemed irrelevant to Jason, but he answered to the best of his knowledge anyway. The officer searched the car again and looked in places Jason didn't think to look, like down in the crevices between the seat and the seat back and in the first aid box. He even removed the spare tire and looked under it. Just like Jason he found nothing. His advice was to take her car home and lock it up and not to disturb anything in it, just in case they needed to go over it again.

When they finished in the parking lot both men went into the office. Barb showed them Alycia's office and what she was working on. It was a large open space with box after box of papers and documents and photos and a lot of miscellaneous other stuff related to the estate she was processing. Barb turned on her computer and helped the officer search through the files. They found nothing obvious or helpful. The young officer told Barb to lock up her computer and if possible the contents of her office. Once he turned in his missing persons report then other officers would probably be around to go over in more detail what he had already done. He did everything he could to help allay Jason's fears but he really didn't help much. Jason was almost shaking by the time the officer left. He had nothing more now than he had last night: Alycia was missing and he was in no condition to do anything productive. He decided to go home and come back for her car later.

On the way home he made a few dozen detours. He drove all around town looking for her. He even went to places that he knew she would never go. He just drove without thinking and went wherever the car pointed.

When he got home there was a message on the answering machine. He quickly rewound the tape and listened hoping it was Alycia. It was his secretary at work asking where he was. Jason, in his haste to find his wife, had forgotten to call in to work and say he was taking a day or two off. He called his boss and explained the situation. His boss said to do what he had to do and take as much time as he needed. He had a great boss.

Jason's mom had taken the kids to the park so he was in the house alone with his thoughts. He sat at the kitchen table and had a soda. His mind was racing in a thousand directions at the same time. He had a thousand questions. What if she was lying in a ditch hurt and couldn't call for help? What if she was wandering around town with amnesia? What if someone had abducted her? What if this... What if that... What if something else... Dozens of 'what if' scenarios filled his mind, even impossible ones. When he thought what if she ran away with some other man he dismissed it immediately. That was so far from the way Alycia was that it was way beyond absurd. His head hurt from thinking. He put it down on the table and cried himself to sleep.

It was dark when Jason lifted his head from the table. The house was quiet. Usually there were sounds of kids playing or the television blaring in the living room but at the moment all he could hear was the eerie silence of emptiness. The only sign of life was a light in the living room. Jason walked into the room and saw his mother sitting in a chair next to the small lamp reading a magazine.

"Hey," Jason mumbled somewhat incoherently.

"Hi there. How are you feeling?"

"My neck is stiff and I ache all over but for the most part I feel like sh..., you know."

"I know. Look, I took the kids over to your sister's. They can spend the night there or stay as long as necessary. I told everybody what's happening and everybody's as worried as you are. I even told Pastor Benningfield and he said they will say a special prayer on Sunday for you and Alycia. Jason honey, everybody loves you and they want to help. If you say the word there would be an army of people here in a heartbeat to do whatever they can. I've moved into the spare room and I'm staying until this is all over. Now go up and take a shower. When you come down I'll have supper ready."

Jason turned to go upstairs but stopped mid-stride. He turned and walked over to his mother and put his arms around her shoulders and hugged her like he did when he was a kid and he fell off his bike and skinned his knee. Right now Jason was in need of a lot of motherly love.

May 25, 1987 (Monday)

Alycia was gone. She was nowhere. Jason spent Saturday and Sunday driving all over trying to find her. It was a good thing gas prices were back down from the disastrous gas shortage of a few years ago but still paying 95 cents a gallon was a lot. He talked to everybody she knew as well as a lot of strangers. Alycia didn't have any family close by so there was nobody on her side to visit. Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother the year after they got married. She had no brothers or sisters and all of her cousins lived scattered across the country. Jason called any distant relative he had a name and phone number for in their Christmas card list, but still nobody had seen nor heard from her. Barb helped bring Alycia's car home and spent Saturday morning talking and trying to be as helpful as possible. Sunday afternoon all of Jason's brothers and sisters and their families showed up to give whatever support they could. The day ended as most family get-togethers did, with everybody eating pizza in the back yard. It was a somber dinner but still the masses needed to eat.

On Monday, instead of going to work as he usually did, Jason sat in the backyard staring at the fence when his mother snuck up behind him.

"Jason, there's a detective here to see you."

"Mr. Woods, I'm Detective Ambrose. I've got the field report from Officer Parker and would like to ask you a few questions."

"Fine, please sit down. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you sir. I won't take up much of your time. Please understand that some of what I'm going to say or ask may be personal or painful but if we want to bring this case to a close then we need every bit of information we can get."

"I understand, I'll tell you what I can," Jason said in a rather despondent tone.

"I won't go over the basic information that we already have in the report but can you tell me the last time you saw your wife?"

"Wednesday morning I kissed her goodbye when I went to work, about seven thirty, I think. She was supposed to go to work herself that day but she never showed up."

"How is your relationship with your wife? Have you had an argument or was there anything troubling her?"

"Nothing. Everything was fine. Tuesday we had dinner with the kids like every other night and sat around talking and watching TV until we went to bed. She wasn't worried about anything that I could tell. We haven't had a fight for months. The best word I can use to describe things is 'normal'."

"And how are your marital relations with your wife? Is everything normal in the bedroom? I know it's a deeply personal question but we need to understand your relationship with Mrs. Woods."

"Everything was fine there too. Tuesday night we made love just like we always did. As I think back about it I can't tell you anything unusual about anything having to do with our sex life."

"Does Mrs. Woods have any close personal friends that can shed any light on her life before she disappeared or her current whereabouts? Particularly any male friends."

"I'll put together a list of all our friends and everybody she worked with for you. As to close male friends I don't think she had any. She worked with a number of men but I don't think she was close to any one of them. Her closest friend at work is her boss Barbara Ross and her best friend from college is Linda Waters. I'll give you their names and phone numbers. And before you ask, no I don't think she was seeing anybody else behind my back. That wouldn't be like her. She would never cheat on me."

"Have you checked your bank accounts and savings and the like? Do you know if any personal, sentimental items of hers are missing? Sometimes when a person disappears they take with them as much money as they can and all of the things that were important and sentimental to them."

"No, I didn't think to look at our checking and savings accounts. I'll go down to the bank and get a statement of all recent activity. We don't have a safety deposit box or anything like that. We don't have any stocks or bonds or CDs that could go missing. I'll get a listing of all activity on our credit card too. We only have one."

"Mr. Woods, do you love your wife?"

Jason paused a long time trying to figure out what he was asking. The question was too simple so it must have been a trick question. "Of course I love my wife. I'm going absolutely nuts here. I haven't a clue where she is and I can't get anybody to give a damn that she's missing. I don't understand what's going on. Hell, she could be wandering the streets with amnesia or some idiot could have kidnapped her. Of course I love my wife! I just want her home!"

"I'm sorry, but I had to ask. Have you always been faithful to your wife?"

"Of course! What kind of question is that? I love my wife. I would never do anything to hurt her or our kids. That's absolutely absurd."

"Again I'm sorry. Can you tell me where you were on Wednesday when she disappeared?"

"I was at work. There are maybe twenty people that can verify that. Go ahead and check."

"And Tuesday night? You said the two of you spent the evening watching television and talking and making love that night. Where were the kids?"

"They were in their rooms, asleep."

"How old are your kids?"

"Jeremy's five and Bethany's three."

"There's nobody else that can verify that the two of you were home that evening?"

"No, I guess not. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to figure out everybody's movement before the time you called and they found her car at work. One final question if you will, can you think of any reason for your wife to go away without a word to you and leave her children behind?"

"I've thought and thought about that and can't think of a single thing. She loves her kids as much as I do and would be devastated to be away from them. It's got to mean that she can't get in touch with us. Some nut's holding her and she can't call for help. You've got to find her before something happens to her. I'd die if anything happened. Please find her. Please."

"We'll do what we can Mr. Woods. You just let us do what we do best and I'll let you know if we find anything. When you can, get me names and phone numbers of everybody I can talk to who might have any information. And when you get your bank information let me have a copy of that too. I think that's all for now. Thanks for being so cooperative. I let you know as soon as we find out anything. Good day sir."

Jason was so keyed up he couldn't go back to looking at the fence. As soon as the detective left he jumped in his car and drove down to the bank to get the financial information for the detective. After dropping the papers off at the police station he drove around town again looking for Alycia. He didn't return until after dinner time.

July 4, 1987 (Saturday)

Six weeks ago Alycia disappeared without a trace. The Woods' household was at a standstill with Jason going through life like a zombie. His mother had to tell him when to eat and when to bathe, she even had to remind him that he still had a job and responsibilities at work. But his heart wasn't in anything anymore. There was only a huge gaping hole where his heart had been.

There hadn't been any information about Alycia. The police hadn't found anything good or bad to report. There were no unidentified bodies in this state or in any surrounding states, so that was good news. But there was absolutely nothing else. The police towed Alycia's car down to the garage and they went over it in great detail. They found nothing. The police searched their house and didn't find anything suspicious there either. There was no money missing from their accounts and there were no missing personal items. They interviewed friends, neighbors, coworkers, church members, and business owners around town. They showed her picture around at hotels and restaurants and still nothing. The net result of hundreds of hours of phone calls and interviews was zilch, nada, nothing. The police had no more of a clue what happened to her than Jason did. She just vanished into thin air. Poof!

Jason's brothers and sisters came over for the fourth of July and brought their families along in the hopes that having loved ones close would help. It didn't. In the early part of the evening somebody who wasn't exactly thinking straight asked Jason if he ever suspected Alycia of having a boyfriend. That set him off like a Fourth of July firecracker. He began yelling and screaming at everybody and even took a swing at his oldest brother. Three men had to physically restrain him and take him into the house. He continued to scream and yell at everybody until his mother pushed past the throng of bodies and stood face to face with him. He even screamed at her until she wrapped her arms around his chest and began hugging him. Jason stopped screaming and started uncontrollably sobbing on her shoulder. Everybody quietly retreated and left the two of them alone with their tears.

The most horrible thing was that Jason had no idea if Alycia was alive or dead. He had nothing! If she were dead then he would have a body to mourn over. If he found out that she had run away with another man then he might be able to someday get past that. He would hate it but at least he would know something. And not knowing was a lot worse than knowing. There couldn't be closure without knowing.

September 8, 1987 (Tuesday)

Alycia has been gone for almost four months. The police put her disappearance on the low priority list but sent the necessary missing person's information to the FBI in Washington. They had done everything they could and there was nothing else to do. She was gone and they had to worry about other more pressing matters.

Jason was still a walking zombie. He went to work and did what he had to but wasn't nearly the same enthusiastic employee he had been before. He went to the grocery store when there was nothing left in the house to eat. He played with the kids. When he had to mow the lawn he mowed the lawn. Occasionally he drove around and looked for Alycia and felt emotionally drained when he returned. Wherever he went he would look at the people in crowds and would imagine seeing her among the faces. Whenever he saw her it was only in his imagination. She was gone.

Jason had an appointment after work to meet with a counselor. Jason preferred the term 'counselor' instead of 'psychologist.' He didn't want to believe that he was crazy, just very sad. The counselor was a specialist who dealt with people losing loved ones, either through divorce or death or, as was Jason's case, disappearance.

For a full hour Jason poured his heart out to the man sitting across from him. Once in a while Doctor Harper would ask a question to clarify something Jason said but for the most part he just listened and took notes. Jason broke out in tears several times but all the good doctor did was to push a box of tissues over to him. Jason left exhausted. The doctor sat back afterwards reviewing his notes and knew exactly the steps that he needed to have Jason go through to get back to some semblance of normal. It was going to be a long journey for the both of them.

"How did your first session with Doctor Harper go?" Jason's mother asked as soon as he sat down at the table to eat.

"I don't know. All he did was listen to me ramble on and on and on. He hardly said a word. I hope every session isn't going to be like that because I'm going to soon run out of things to say."

"I understand he's the best man out there for this kind of situation. Just be patient with him and remember that he's there to help you. You can't do this by yourself. Now be quiet and eat your dinner."

"Yes, ma'am."

December 25, 1987 (Friday)

Alycia has been gone for seven months. It was Christmas day, a day of good will and good cheer to all, all except Jason that is. The sessions with Doctor Harper have been helpful. Jason understood that Alycia's disappearance was exactly like the death of a loved one. The stages of grief were the same. The only difference was that with death there was a body, something tangible to touch and grieve over. With a disappearance there were only memories to grieve over. Closure was much more difficult. Jason was in the process of coming to grips with his depression. The depression had to be conquered, or at least compartmentalized, before he could accept what happened.

Jeremy and Bethany were downstairs unwrapping their presents at six a.m. Jason and his mother stumbled down the stairs when they heard the whooping and hollering below. For the first time in months Jason smiled. He smiled watching the two youngsters dive into the sea of presents. For a moment everything in the world focused on two little children under a decorated pine tree sitting among a pile of wrapping paper. For a moment everything was as it should be. Then Alycia entered his thoughts and his smile disappeared.

"Merry Christmas Son," Mom said as she held out a box wrapped in bright red paper.

Jason took the box and looked up with another smile. He reached under the couch cushion and pulled out a small box of his own. "Thanks Mom. Here's your present. Merry Christmas."

Jason unwrapped his present, a new camera. He never owned a good camera. He had a small box camera that all you did was aim it, shoot, and advance the film. This was a top of the line Canon EOS Rebel 35 mm camera with all the bells and whistles, and lots of boxes of film.

"I want you to take a lot of pictures of my grandchildren. I want to spend my last years looking at the albums you created and see your kids grow up in those pictures. I want you to get out and go places with them, live again, play with them, do all the things you need to do to come back to the living. Maybe you can even teach me how to use that thing and I can take pictures of you with the kids."

Jason looked down at the treasure in his hands. He understood exactly what it was. It was a tool to help him see his kids and enjoy life again and maybe with something like that he could move forward rather than stand still and wallow in his misery. It was the best present he had ever received.

"Open your present," Jason implored.