All Comments on 'Denise's Year'

Of course there should be a sequel, and it should focus around a pregnancy. There

must be perfume and lipstick to force him to surrender and fuck her nightly

There MUST be a child born out of this scenario

There should be a sequel, with lot of sex between Henry and Denise and it should be without condom

let's see more

Some more debauchery between Rodney and Denise would be cool.

Good story! I can't wait until the next submission!

I think that Denise should share Henry with her friends! Plus they should start having sex without the condom!

it is a very loving story, good plot, but by you bringing Rodney into the story it lost some sparkle.. reality being what it is, scumbags like Rodney do exist, but this story was fine without him and would have been better without him.. one thing, she loves henry, but she doesn't trust him enough to go bareback, but she will let a scumbag stranger go bareback on her?? should have been the other way around. all in all the story deserves a second part, keep writing it, this has lots of potential..

Short of some minor obvious grammar errors the story was awesome. Perfect pace, and just the right amount of description and build up. Had me on edge the entire time till it was over.

In your comment, you needed a comma right after the word "errors" in your first sentence. Gotta be grammatically correct and all.

You should take the time to proofread in the editing mode -- maybe doing so two or three times. While proofreading you should also make corrections as soon as you spot a mistake. It is easy to get too wrapped up in the story you are writing which leads to mistakes, that is why they teach you to try to start with a rough draft, and make corrections with each subsequent draft. You may want to trying reading the story aloud, slowly, as you proofread. Read it only as you wrote it, word for word, and you should be able to catch your mistakes. Don't let it get to you though, I have read some stories by authors who say they are real teachers, and found they too had some mistakes.

As for a possible sequel, I say go for it, but with a couple of suggestions:

1) they should consider a long distance relocation -- maybe in the Southwest, or an area in Florida where they would not likely run into any of her friends (as his only know her as his close friend Denise).

2) either she needs to go on the pill, or they try to have a baby together after they move.

They are just suggestions as they could spend the time looking to relocate over the next year -- it would be difficult to hide their relationship if they stay where they are, unless she is willing to cut herself off from her previous friendships. To the outside world they could just appear to be mother and son if they are willing to refrain from any PDA's, but if she were to get pregnant, she might have a hard time explaining it -- especially to family.

That's my two cents worth, and the longest I have ever commented on here.

You've great sensitivity and creativity. Continue to show it to us. You're a really good story teller, and you've left the door open for lots of development.

I wouldn't worry too much about proof reading; this is Literotica, not a graduate English program. Keep the faux pas within two standard deviations of the expected and everyone should be happy.

Could have done this story without Rod don't you think?

so you have more time to write. One of the few 5 starts I've given in 10 years reading literotica. well done.

Rodney was a negative distraction. I too wish he had not been included.

why does Henry have to wear a damn condom when he's fucking his own mother. Let mom take birth control pills if necessary (better still, let her boy fuck a baby up where he was once a baby). But if they're absolutely determined to avoid a happy little bundle of joy, then at least the pills. Henry has the right to feel his hot young balls unload and his hard young cock shoot his beloved mother full of his creamy semen. Mom has the right to feel her beloved boy's strong jets of sperm hit her cunt walls and fill her up to the brim. They're a mothefucking son and a son-fucked mom, and they deserve the best.

I think there should be a continuation of this. I'm wondering to know what happens with the Denise and her son now that they did the deed. 4*

As someone already pointed out, it makes no sense that Denise would let a near stranger go bareback in some nasty shit stall in a men's room but be so careful about her darling Henry wearing condoms.

Personally, the racial stereotype "fantasy" of an anonymous dominating Black man screwing a White woman in a slutty way has to be one of the least erotic angles a writer can delve into. I know a lot of different people are into it and it is a whole sub-genre in itself for that reason just like the vampire thing and whatnot. Just saying though, I'd have left that whole turd off the top of the wedding cake.

For what it's worth, I have read one or two really creative efforts about interracial sexual affairs that weren't just plopped in for shock value or whatever effect. You asked, so I'm saying I would have left that whole Rodney part out of Denise's Year.

Again, you need a proper proofreader and an editor, if you can get a decent one, to polish your work. The comments that seem to encourage you to ignore these issues are not in your best interest if you'd think about that for a second. I mentioned this in a previous comment already; it's a fine line, but you don't want to over use medical or bodybuilder terms for body parts in dialog.

It's okay to just leave the couple with an open-ended future here, but, you could explore the idea of them (presumably changing their home town first so they can live as a couple) having a baby together. The part at the beginning where scumbag Wayne got away with ripping off Denise's home from her, could be the basis of some future drama and vengeance. I didn't like that Wayne just got away with that, but I realize that stuff happens and endings are not always neat and tidy.

This may seem like a shopping list of criticisms, but, I only bother because I think you can be a good writer as you keep going. You achieved a great thing by actually making credible characters come alive off the page when 98 percent of this site's submissions are just copycat efforts of crappy stroke videos that somebody has decided to pass off as erotica. Yes, you seem to have a thing for enhanced tits and you give Henry a big dick - your prerogative. More important is that you have made your main couple interact in a fairly realistic way, both in and away from the bedroom.

Keep writing.

MPP

Incest of any kind, in general, but incest of a mother and son in particular, is not a matter to fuck around with gutter-whoring the mother with pornographic ideas and fantasies!! Those type subject matter are better left to casual female and male acquaintenances, one-night stands, shacking up together, etc., but not when the couple is related by blood as in the case of incestual relationships.

As a father that has a beautiful, loving daughter with whom I have had an incestual affair with for many years, until she had to relocate to the west coast to attend to her sickly mother-in-law! We still have had limited times together since her move, and still vow to continue as frequently as we can manage the time and airline flights! We are offended by the context abuse performed with this incestual couple!

The context and theme of the story would have worked great, had the son and mother not been related by birth and/or blood, but had been a cougar love match as in a December and May relationship of non-related couple(s). I am in total agreement with other's comments about the perverse manner--the use of requiring her son to use condoms--were dealt with pertaining to fucking her son vesus fucking others--your character's, Denise and her agreeing son Harry, have their priorities and risk aversions totally opposed, catty-wompus (aka the reverse), one hundred eighty degrees diametrically opposite!! Practice makes perfect; keep trying--but not with (incestual) blood relatives!

First off I am not hating on your writing ability and easy flow of the stories. I own a home in miami and know how a lot of women are there and I also am very familiar with the courts there. The courts are as easy here as you have allowed in this story and if they were i'd be 1.2mil richer and have a lot more hair left.

I hate that the beautiful mom as described in this story has to be a whore in my opinion and that her son is a 6'5 wimp who doesn't have the balls to kick her exes ass and allows her to go out to a club dressed as you described. I really would of liked some retaliation on the ex and was hoping Henry would catch her fucking Rodney and kick his ass and drag her home and treat her like the whore she is until the fucking became love making.

I understand the tension between the mother and son because I have had similar tension between my niece and myself since we were both teenagers. We are 3 years apart and her first 4 years and from age 9-18 she lived with me and my parents. We have never went past kissing and playful groping but still in our thirties we are like moth's draw to fire when in the same room with each other. I've beaten a few boys asses and she always treated my girlfriends like shit. LOL

My other niece her sister has 3 mixed kids with an absent father. Stupid girl that my family still keeps afloat so she can stay in school and works while trying to raise 3 kids under 8 with no other support. Like the joke goes whats the most confusing day in a black neighborhood? Fathers Day!! That why I hate the Rodney part of your story.

I agree with whats been said before that a mother son story should be a loving story and not about whore moms. Mine probably never found her prince but my father wasn't so bad.

You story I guess hits home for me on a lot of issues. Keep writing and you've left two stories with an open ending.

It's fantasy, I really don't think reality needs to creep in here that mom is worried about having her son's baby. Just let the next pairing blow his load inside her.

I did like the uncertainty and your patience to allow things to slowly progress. I agree though unless Denise got slipped a date rape drug that fucking in a nasty bathroom was ... well that is fantasy, dark at that, and just seemed out of place.

its a great story and the lead upto sex and the act itself are both sweet and the idea of the mom and son looking into each others eyes as they fuck and cum is the height of sexiness rated it 5

HOT story...would love more!

It has good guys and bad guys. I like that. I also like how you touched on a few other literotica themes. ALSO pulling out and/or using condoms prevents pregnancies. Getting pregnant is kinda a big deal. Maybe Denise and Henry didn’t get a chance to talk about that yet, they just wanted to get it on!

I think you did a great job, taking it slow, demonstrating their initial reluctance to take their relationship to that level. All in all, great story! If you feel like there's enough for a sequel, go for it; I'll read it!

i liked it very much until you had her in the bathroom with a black guy having sex without condoms and she wouldnt let jr i felt the bathroom bit was out of place and was not needed in the story and also with sonny going out with her friend wasnt necessarily needed in the story keep up the good writing

a new/edited version of this story was submitted, but for some reason the first half of the story is the old version. no idea what's causing that. may have to resubmit the editing version again.

Issue where half the story is the old version appears to be fixed now. All pages are showing the new version.

I have not read many stories that matched this for quality or the display of emotions. Even with a few errors your story was outstanding.

what is it with women and black men why dont people keep there storys mother son and not bring black men in to it

Superb plot and amazing sex scenes. Thank you for a classiic. Why nko sequel? Rated 5. Still hard thinking abt the story.

I agree superb.

Sorry I got bored . Reached CH13 and skipped the last 2 1/2 pages. I guess they got it together in the end but I don't think it was worth the effort reading it.

very good article, but after she swallowed Ulysses cum she said he practiced safe sex. a little error

Very good! Very good indeed! Thank you!

holly is a skank, just like Denise. holly in love with her husband and trust WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!!! there is ZERO love in an open/swinger marriage NONE!!! just lust and comfort. Denise is playing all shy, WHY??? she is a whore cheater and a proven slut skank, so why the shy little girl for fucking sonny boy??? the bitch lowers herself to fuck niggers because they have bigger dicks...WHAT is the average hard black dick 5.5 to 6 inches just the same as a white dick. the average flaccid black dick is 4.5 to 5.5 inches (Genetics) the average size of a flaccid white dick is 1 to 4 inches (Genetics) thus the reputation of black dicks being bigger THEY ARE NOT during business. The average vagina is 4 to 6 inches perfect for the average guy. Some are longer and some are shorter, but very likely EVER finding a girl that could EVER handle a 10 inch cock. hymens are NOT 4 inches inside of a vagina!!! you can see a hymen it's at the entrance...

I loved that mother and son finally got to fucking each other and they both loved it. The only thing I hated was the way the story ended. It would have been nice if they had got pregnant and had a child.

Amazing story.

Another well developed story from this author. The characters are well developed in depth and breath. They are believable. If they were real, you would want to know them. The plot is logical and well developed. The chemistry, respect, adoration and sensitivity between mother and son is exactly what you would expect and hope for in a real life incestuous relationship. The self-awareness, self doubt and fear of rejection of mother and son accurately reflects actual fears of people beginning an incestuous relationship. Once the characters were

able to accept and honestly express their feeling for each other, the sexual and emotionally epiphany between mother and son was almost spiritual. Since I have no problems mutually agreeable incest in real life, I though this story truly reflects a real world incestuous relationship. This is a 5 star story which I would like to see be made into a series.

5 stars great story if anything a bit long. Strange they were both so much in love with one another yet both had sex with someone else at the drop of a hat. So will they stay true to one another.

5 stars. Could have been a couple of pages shorter

i read Dahlia and Darren and looked forward to another well=written, hot story. I stopped reading this one the moment her breasts were augmented from a DD to a DDD cup size. who would think to make double Ds bigger??!! certainly not anyone i care to learn more about! maybe somewhere in the story she had them pared back? i hope so, for sanity's sake

i read Dahlia and Darren and looked forward to another well=written, hot story. I stopped reading this one the moment her breasts were augmented from a DD to a DDD cup size. who would think to make double Ds bigger??!! certainly not anyone i care to learn more about! maybe somewhere in the story she had them pared back? i hope so, for sanity's sake

This was an interesting read,, they had feelings for each other but mom jumped in to bed so fast on her birthday and he was dating someone also ,,, I hope that if this continues that they stay faithful and don’t stray

3⭐️ for the story line