All Comments on 'Depression Is'

If you never traveled the path you are damn lucky. Of course some would never recognize the situation(s) or choose to ignore. A damn 10. but can only do a 5

Brain dead,stupid shit that should be in fetish

to a cliched story - but then there's nothing special about a still life of a vase of sunflowers - until Van Gogh reimagined them. Kudos to you for originality. I hope you submit more. Thanks for sharing. *****

As an emotive and experimental piece of fiction, it worked very well.

I'll be look out for your stories in future.

That's 5 minutes of my life wasted reading this piece of shit.

This is like when someone untalented tries to do something different and doesn't quite accomplish anything. The lack of punctuation was gimmicky, and I know you were trying to emulate a thought process, but even those have pauses. I don't know about you, but I think in sentences. Anyway, hopefully your next work is better.

Definitely not an easy read.

Brings to mind the adage that when planning revenge to dig two graves.

But I do wonder what happened to the friend, the spouse, the kids. Perhaps when you are depressed none of those things matter.

Depression is to reach the end of this text...It's well written and tell some painful truths. But the reality is that it depresses us too...2*

I think it would be a fascinating idea to delve into the depression of a man who discovers his wife's infidelity. But this is not that.

It's a poorly written, expletive filled, random stream of consciousness. Worst of all, it was boring. Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off would have been bored.

And what's with the italics? Every verb gets one? (Psst! "Trying" is an adjective).

This story reminds me of what John McKay, coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, said when asked what he thought of his team's execution after the Bucs lost yet again. He answered, "I think it's a good idea."

Move on . Beat her so she can't walk again

The result is to show why you shouldn't do this. Kudos for trying it. Nothing wrong with a different idea.

There is a reason why writing is punctuated, divided into sentences and paragraphs. The reason is for the ease of reading. I don't want to work at reading. I don't mind working to understand the plot, the motives of the characters or their actions. I don't want to work at reading. Thanks for writing, but just write a story, next time.

Most writers on this site say they want comments good or bad, it's a way for the writer to grow.

It was easier to read than your intro said it might be. The 'no names' and things like that didn't bother me.

Where I feel you missed was in getting the reader to emote with the man. At least I didn't. I felt outside the story instead of in the man's mind. Keep trying like I said the writing itself was easier to read than I thought it would be.

which is preferable to this rubbish

i believe that this is what many men with cheating wives go through in this country, no it is not polished and pretty but it is much closer to reality than most imagine.

. . . challenging, but I appreciate the effort at writing something original. Thank you.

But , wow , maybe a tad too much so .

I kept waiting for it all to have been a daydream before he died , like the original Ambrose Bierce's haunting ' An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge ' , which is a personal favorite of mine .

AMEN!

I think about the old chestnut:

"better with her, or without her?"

Something like this almost goes overboard in stressing the absolute depression of being without her.

You seem to have had a mixed reaction, but may be some improvement would have been sensed if narrator realized that he would have been JUST as miserable WITH her, after the betrayal, and then used that realization as of touchstone for stepping off onto a road of recovery.

Many stories written in different styles bring up the question, thinking that may be it would be worse without her, (or with either sex of cheater scenario, or betrayer if friends previous). Gosh, this MIGHT seem to prove the WORSE!

But anybody suffering this degree of SERIOUSLY dangerous levels of depression, would ALSO be suffering the SAME levels of depression ANYWAY. With, or Without.

Asshole commenters offer the Stop writing advice when faced with such a hopeless scenario. But the writing will be part of any reputable therapy. And THERAPY is was is needed. And in this case, never more so.

In the darkest of dark, there still needs to be some glimmer left for the light. Some hope. Stories that leave that part out will never be satisfiying to the readers. Even a review of "not bad" comes from a reader projecting the empathy that you as author omitted from the narrative. Readers here have become used to filling in the gaps left by novice storytelling. But this is a tall order for even the most empathetic in the audience.

Think about your audience response MORE when you write again.

And good luck with the therapy!

Content aside, it's an interesting experiment in English prose writing. It is in some ways reminiscent of Gertrude Stein, who was a proponent of using less 'unnecessary' punctuation. But I don't recall if she ever wrote anything of length with no punctuation at all.

Samuel Beckett carried this to an extreme, writing his last novel, "How It Is" completely without punctuation, using short paragraphs, much like this Literotica story.

This kind of stream-of-consciousness is an effective technique, if handled well, for giving the reader a sense of the protagonist's emotionally disturbed state of mind.

Not sure what hullabaloo was all about. I noted more thana few uses of punctuation though no periods.

But each new sentence was started with capital letter.

As for story, except no mention of who made dvd, you were spot on with what numerous husbands have went through.

Best friend was surprised about dvd. Wife reacted like she knew nothing about it.

That leaves best friend's wife...would suspect kids but no mention of them

If you were really that depressed, they would be dead, there would be no alimony and you would be a guest of some state run "Crossbar Inn" with 3 hots and a cot for a good while.

It might not do you any good, but the story would add 1-2 stars to what you have here

You hit it right on the head. That tale was very powerful and I am very impressed with this author's ability. As far as this story, I've never gotten this depressed about my situation. I was and still am angry. Angry enough to commit violence but sensible enough not to. Keep writing author. Us in the know will be reading.

Taps into real emotion without resorting to cheap. stereotypes. For example, There are vast areas of unexplored writing in this genre: real divorce and cheating usually involves a lot of anger on both sides, and instead were treated to cartoonish wives who weep and wail when caught, and try to keep their marriage and studs on the side as if it were every day behavior. Love seeing something new. Thanks, full stars

I liked it (as much as one can like reading about a life going to shit). But a few points will be addressed below..

It is hard to imagine WHO would have the opportunity to video-record the DVD. Also, WHY would that person want to inform Hubby about his Sweetie's 'arrangement' with Hubby's best friend? It is NOT a critical issue in outlining Hubby's pain, nor would it be likely to become known if that person wished to remain anonymous.

The WHY and HOW LONG of their tryst IS discussed by the happy couple. Any elaboration on that issue was squelched by Hubby due to his angry diatribe while confronting Sweetie.

Small quibble ... parentheses serve punctuation service. They make it easy to understand that a phrase is interrupting the main theme of the sentence!

5*

He should've waited and drained all the money out of his 401 , take a second mortgage for whatever he could and drain any savings they had . Shoe a casino problem and then beat your friend , walk away from the house , quit your job and start fresh.

Another special little snowflake who thinks they can buck the system when it comes to writing conventions. And I can only figure that you did it because you're too lazy to be bothered with things like punctuation, because this "style" of yours added absolutely nothing to the experience.

As for the content of the story, it's about as generic as it gets for this category. Literally the only thing "unique" about it is the..."style" in which it's written, and that ain't doing it any favors in my eyes. The only praise I can give it is that I liked how the "Fucking Best Friend" was handled. Otherwise, I'm borderline resentful that you want people to sit through this eyesore of a thing you've got going on, all for a story that might as well be a rehash of a million others.

It's not often I give out 1's, but I refuse to encourage this lazy form of writing. Looks more like a damn YouTube comment than a story.

I did get the gist of style in 2 paragraphs

Lost of comments have been opposed to your run-on sentences, or paragraphs. And while I totally support those who believe in the almighty rules of English syntax, there was something real about this approach. Consider this: every author in this category struggles to capitalize on the complexity of cheating, breaking up, revenge, and or forgiveness. It's pretty well a given that you have to deal with at least one of these points. However each of these points is incredibly complex emotionally. You can (and authors have) write complete books focusing on any one of them. But this writer seems to have sought a way he can cram all of the emotions involved with each topic (ok, three, he had nothing to do with forgiving anyone!) into each paragraph. It's not a bad idea to express run on emotions, run on rage, run on depression with run on sentences. It certainly drove home the point.

Yep, hard to read. Yep, punctuation matters. Yep, you kind of have to get into the character's frame of mind to follow it. Yep, when I did, I really felt the character's pain. This was on first person POV, and who cares about rules when emotions are at an extreme? Isn't that an author's goal? Syntax and editors be damned for once, I liked this effort.

the cure for what ails ya" TK U MLJ LV NV

that long dialogue. 1*

A novel way to tell an old story.

It sounds very similar to the problem of old age. Nice wordsmithing.

Yeah, that all sounds familiar. Oh, right, been there, done that, still have the T-shirt.

Someone say something about no punctuation, run on sentences, and run on paragraphs? Can't say I noticed, it just sort of flowed straight through to the end.

Time to live again. Every time he takes a drink, they win more of his soul. He needs to fix himself, get his life back and find a better woman. Oh yeah and make sure the kids know that he is not the bad guy and show them the DVD if he has to. Finally, he needs to find out who gave him the DVD and send them a nice fruit basket.

Basic Training may have been shorter than Marines but was not easy. San Antonio in July marching in 100plus degrees, up at 5:30 AM for PT and run a mile and a half before breakfast. Obstacle course, more marching, gun range, more marching. We may have called it a dorm instead of a barracks but it was an open room with 50 guys snoring away on metal bunks. The T.I.s were just as abusive in your face as were D.I.s. It was brutal sometimes and exhausting but I will never forget it as one of the best things I have ever done.

I respect your choice to serve. I respect the Navy and Air Force for the support they give for the boots on the ground. The Army and Marine Corp have different missions. The training even at the basic level reflects that. The casualties in Iraq and Afganistan reflects that. There are reasons why people look at the different branches differently. Lastly, this is a story about a guy betrayed by a "friend" who had been in the Air Force so I think as part of the narrative of the story, it might reflect that.

Turning to alcohol is so stupid that an objective observer wonders if the wife isn't better off without him. How could she not be? He was stupid and impetuous in his reaction, his divorce procedure, and the way he is not coping with the aftermath. So how good could the marriage have been, between a stupid impetuous person and a cruel selfish wife? I mean the husband was so dense and the marriage so shallow that he didn't pickup on all the little subtle tells that pass between a man and a woman when they are Fuck Buddies? He is better off without her, but he is too stupid to see that. Too stupid and self pitying.

Yeah, drunk is just a different form of clueless for this pitiful useless fuck. Hard to really care what happens to a self destructive clueless dumb shit. Better off recycling what left of his biomass for a greater good.

I meant to give this a 5 but missed clicked.

Depression is a mind trip, only with out the help of drugs. I can put in there "been there done that" but just not to this extent. Synopsis in my own head, decent marriage or so it seems with added pressure of economy. Good job with benefits, 401k,savings. House with ballooned mortgage and underwater, more stress. DVD with something no one should have to see, she/he shouldn't have made a keepsake. Divorced, maybe climbing back,held it together until job went to shit,then life followed. Does that seem to sum it up?

Yep that is depression. It weighs on you, your whole life,can't unsee or unforget. The mind works that way.

I liked it. It succeeds describing feelings, disorientation, despair. It was short enough not to be tiresome, and powerful enough so your choice to write in this style paid off. Don't mind the three brain cells idiots who leave negative comments, not everyone can appreciate what they read.

and, amen.

Lack of punctuation makes this story ring true, reflecting the "tapes" that often run through our heads. I can't thank you for the pain of this story but, then again, I do thank you.

As major depressive- non-remitting i know that Depression is not feeling anything at all and falling forever and ever amen.

5*

You gave warning up front as to the style. Clinical depression is anything but logical or pretty. The apathy and self- medication are well described.

I just fiinished A C&W Song. I like your writing style and enjoy the local references. I encourage you to read the honest thoughtful criticisms but ignore anything from ANON or the trolls!

Keep writing and I for one will keep reading.

Written from San Antonio while trying to remember if I have any Shiner Ruby Redbird left at home.

of a terrible thing!

It hits too close to home. A vow broken will be reckoned in the afterlife.

I really liked the style. Stephen King once wrote a whole book as a single paragraph, I'll bet anony's comments didn't deter him from writing another. Pay no heed, this is a free site, feel free to keep on keeping on.

just wow. I'm shocked this is short and well done. makes its points doesn't over do it, and in a very tight time fills in the story without need for any names. Damn sad thing is this is prob happening as I type this

Great rendition of the damage bad people can do to those with flawed coping skills/survival instincts.

May I never do this to someone.

This story IS depressing, I concede it has some academic merit, of sorts, but it is NOT a story just a bunch of comments. I do not see the reason for writing this other than the possibility the writer is purging their own emotions. If that is true I am truly sorry for you! if it is a serious attempt at a story I would suggest a change of tack!

The unaccountable DVD could be accounted for easily enough, so I've finally decided, given the rest, no problem. Five? Yes, yes I will, yes! Away alone along a last the

Was it? 4****

Probably scored low because of the type of readers that frequent this site.

Even after subtracting the trolls, very few score and comment based on the literary value.

Grow some fucking balls and get back into the living you stupid shit (the man in the story not the author) you need to come see my friend Mary who is sixty and had a malignant brain tumor removed last year and did well after the operation but the assholes poisoned her with chemo and radiation until she lost all mobility due to a stroke on Christmas Eve that they didn't diagnose until too late Mary lays in a room all day all she can move is her right arm and hand nothing else works thanks to radiation necrosis she can talk and she remembers everybody but she can't roll over or sit up on her own so she has terrible bed sores that she cannot scratch her loyal husband has to still work to pay the fucking bills but he spends as much time as he can with her day after fucking day after fucking day She almost died in January of pneumonia and was ready to go but the fuckers ignored the do not revive and revived her anyway I guess the medical establishment figured they could get some more money out of her by keeping her alive the moral of the story which in this case is unfortunately true if you are up and about thank your lucky stars that you don't have an oncologist waiting to poison your brain with radiation because that is the fucking standard of care and he might be sued if he doesn't destroy your life but kill a potential maybe possible tumor that might come back but for sure destroy your life in the process via radiation necrosis not my diagnosis but the neurologist go ahead asshole trade places with Mary then you will have a real reason to be depressed.

I have no problem with the writing style. I see.it as the incessant rambling of a troubled mind. This.man is in intense pain and doesn't know how to end it. Really interesting concept, and what I expect from this author.

And how.... accurate.

5-stars

And I ain’t gonna Favorite it. Makes me feel too bad.

But brilliant nonetheless.

A fucked up story. Accurate, but still, like your fr-enemy dying of alcoholic liver failure, you know it's true but you want to deny it.

Although depressing, it's written well and takes a novel approach to the aftermath of betrayal. It sounds like reality to me.

Has to be read as written, without stops (periods).

I liked it again, although I can't say I enjoyed it. There's a lot of truth in that.

Reminds me of Bukowski and that's a compliment.

...but damn it, I did.

I won't say I enjoyed it but I like it and appreciate the effort to do something "new".

Very well done.

Gritty, awful mess of a life for the victim.

I feel bad because the author obviously has put a lot of effort into this... but in the end I wanted to puke, perhaps because I had been married and gone through my own Groundhog Day.

Sorta been there but not quite that bad but sure felt like it and it really hurt and wish I had known about lit and how to get revenge like lots of those guys I only just did a short stint in jail for puttin that sob in the hospital then had to try to stay away from his buddies because they want revenge of their own and I threw that cheatin cunt out.

four****

The authors pen name is certianly appropriate given the tone of his stories. Bitter Bierce indeed.

Interesting...

Such a dark story, intentionally so, made it a hard read. Those commenters who gripe about the poor grammar- get a life. It's called literary license, and an author's right to write his own story the way he wants. BUT, doesn't the sun still come up every morning? and can't there be SOME reason to live again for this poor individual?

This is incredibly powerful. But God, it’s painful to read. Gutsy five star effort by the author.

Stop self-punishing. Get it together and live a better life for your kids.

I once heard a lecture by a psychiatrist who defined depression thusly: “The patient looks depressed, sounds depressed, and depresses me.” I can only see your MC in my mind’s eye, but you have rung all three of those bells with this story. Great job of distilling the essence of situational depression into a dark and bitter brew. The vehicle you chose for this story is apt and effective. The long run-on sentence captures the MCs disordered thoughts and experiences nicely. 5* Now, to cleanse my palate after my voyeuristic visit to your MCs pain, I’m going to go upstairs and give my wife a hug.

A downer to read. Sharing someone's depression is not fun.

Never read the story said depression to much made me depressed.

Having lost a loved one to depression, this is all too true.