All Comments on 'Diane to Sam'

Please keep this one going. Its a great start. You could actually end it here and that would be fine BUT you did such a good job I want to know more about where this might go. LOL Great job on getting and keeping my interest. Thanks

I agree, this one's got legs and could definetly go on for atleast one more chapter to see where they go from here. A really novel concept too.

Please add more to this story. Loved it and still want more

If not I will hunt you down and KICK YOUR ASS. Alternatively I will not read any more of your stories until you submit what the hell ever you decide to write next.

You are my favorite author on this site and I would really hate to have to carry out my threat. (LOL)

I really would like to see more chapters of this one.

Thanks

Mike S.

We need more chapters on this one with them starting their own family to love as much as they love each other...for life!

Another great one from the master calling for several more chapters. Pete.

We all know writing is just fiction,,, story telling, it's all fiction, even if a writer inserted some "reality" into the story. <p>

But the way MOST stories are written are just garbage, as "exciting" as farting. <p>

This is how exciting fiction should be writing. The author is able to give his characters depth, intelligence, and FUCKIN' GOOD DIALOGUES!, even if the story is nothing more than an account of a few days in Las Vegas, in 2-page.... <p>

Yes, I agree, this is a story worth telling more about. <p>

If I were to creat a story, and create dialogues for my characters, I would word them almost exactly the same wah the author had his characters --- especially the man --- speak them here. <p>

'Tis what we need: Fiction that becomes alive, that takes off on its own, EVEN AS YOU READ IT KNOWING IT IS A FICTIONAL STORY! (as opposed to those "real story" accounts that reads like reading boring recipe of a meal you don't really care to cook anyway)... <p>

You can see that the man character is equipped with reality based instincts: he knows he hands over quite a lot of things, including his life and happiness to a woman he has been worshipping from afar... It is a "game" to him, yet one so superseding in his life, his thingking, he is risking everything to play it! And he KNOWS in "real life" things may not always turn out to be like a well planned game.... <p>

Excellent, author.

Reading of the attitudes of your main characters could have helped me with my my own relationships back then.

and I liked the idea that he 'rescued' her from the live of a 'Gangsters Moll' but it came across as very cold, calculated and clinical with no romance and very little passion and the dialogued was very 'clipped'. No doubt things improve as the relationship develops but in reality she had no choice but to accept his offer or be out on the streets. Anyone in that situation will grab at anything that is offered to keep her off the streets.

An excellent story. Intelligent lady. Proper gentleman. Nice behaviour. Encore.

One can attract more with sweet than sour...

Your dialogue for the male is consistent, so it is obvious that this is how you see it. I too put women on a pedestal to be worshipped as long as they return the favor. This is how it should be. Unfortunately, the reality is less than that. But we love the fiction.

the whole thing sounds like it is a business plan with a client.....no love - no happiness - no nothing - just cold....might as well take out a contract with a fridge company.....some men are just lifeless - loveless tossers and he is one big one....what a loser....

Was Sam really able to hide her real feelings from Pete for this long? I think if the ending was real and that she didn't feel like this was a business contract, then she would've needed to be an Academy Award winning actress to pull that off.

What I'm trying to say: the ending ruins it for me. Not because it is bad, but because it feels like you first delayed the truth beyond belief and then jumped the gun with the abrupt reveal at the end.

Having said that however, I enjoyed the story in general and would've loved to have read a more fleshed-out version of it. Half a dozen chapters instead of two pages would've been great.

Thanks for writing. tom anon

Great !

Thank You !